Order Effects
by C-Jay CD
Summary: Set sometime in New Moon, a sudden death causes the order of events to fall apart, forming an unlikely friendship, an unlikely alliance and an unlikely romance. Disclaimer: All recognisable themes/characters belong to their creator Stephanie Meyer.
1. Lost

**A/N: Set in New Moon, just before the Cullens leave, then I've invented my own time line.**

**Thank you to my best friend Zohra for pushing me into uploading (threatening really, but you know) and for pre-reading and to my other bestie's Alex and Steph for their support.**

**Not beta'd - any mistakes are my fault.**

**Enjoy :)**

_16th Sept_

Rain drizzles against the window like a constant through the horizontal blinds, the flicker from the old TV creating menacing shadows against the walls.

I glance at the screen once more, not really focusing on the video we are watching. My gaze shifts over the classroom, Mike is sat at the desk next to me, about to shoot a spit wad at Lauren three rows forward. She is oblivious with her nose in the air, filing away at her nails.

I take a deep breath whilst sinking deeper into my seat, trying to relax my racing thoughts and focus on the video, no doubt Mr. Banner will force a pop quiz upon us next week.

A slight twitch to my left causes me to shift slightly so I can see _him. _Edward. The love of my life, for which I'd do anything, even give up my family and friends for.

He is sat rigid, upright in his seat, his fisted hands poised on the desk. His tense body language is the complete opposite to his calm features.

He refuses to acknowledge my gaze which frustrates me.

3 days ago, I turned 18. 3 days ago my whole life was turned upside down.

Alice decided to throw me a birthday party, at which I was the only guest who could actually eat the cake.

I accidently cut my finger sending Jasper into frenzy, almost getting myself killed and ruining the night for everyone.

Since that night everything has been different, Edward is distant all the time, he hasn't been to my room during the nights after, and the rest of the Cullen's also seem to be avoiding me. Except Alice, she is ever present.

So here we are, sat right next to each other and yet I have never felt so distant from him. Every time I even try to bring up the subject, to fix things between us, he either cuts me off or leaves.

I sigh audibly earning a dirty look from the girl in front of me.

Again I try to focus on the Osmosis video, to no avail.

Suddenly, Edward turns to face me, his eyes swimming with worry. His sudden movement makes me jump and I knock a textbook off the table. The girl – Stacey I think her name is – openly glares at me and Mr. Banner raises a questioning brow. I blush and retrieve the textbook.

Once everyone settles I meet Edward's eyes once more, his liquid gold eyes hold mine, my heart speeds up, he blinks once as if confused then turns to the front again, this time his tense features reflect his frustration.

I cock my head, but he shakes his slightly, heading of any questions.

Frustrated beyond belief I gaze unseeingly past Edward and out of the window.

There's a curt knock on the door, and Mr. Banner sighs as though his having to pause the video has personally offended him.

The door swings open and Charlie walks in with our principle.

He looks older than he did this morning, bags under his eyes and his cheeks hollow. If I wasn't so worried as to why he was here I would have found it comical, how everyone sits up straighter. Mr. Banner pauses the video and pulls on the bottom of his too-small jacket in an attempt to come across more professional and clears his throat.

He and Charlie engage in a conversation while the principle pats them both on the shoulder before leaving.

Edward's cool fingers brush against my back and a shiver runs through me at the contact, it's been too long since he touched me.

His fingers fist the hem of my shirt tightly against my lower back, his stature becomes even tenser.

He leans over to me slightly and I meet him halfway, "Bella, Charlie wants to take you out of school for the rest of the day" his whisper is strained and I immediately panic.

"Why? What's wrong? What is Charlie saying? Is he okay?" I whisper-shout anxiously, Charlie's welfare becoming the centre of my worries.

"Charlie is fine, but I don't think I should be the one to tell you what's wrong, just listen..." he looks forward taking an unnecessary deep breath.

"He's planning to take you to La Push; you're going to be staying the night." He pauses. "Don't go with him..." my eyes widen at his request, does he really think I can just say 'no' to Charlie, it's obvious he's here for a reason, he doesn't believe in taking time off school unless it's really important. "...Please." Edward adds as if that will make me stay.

I shake my head and look down at my fingers, unsure. "Edward, I can't just say 'no', you don't know what you're asking of me, he wouldn't do this unless it was completely necessary."

He bristles at my words. "I know what I'm asking of you, Love, please, it's not safe for you, being in La Push."

His words confuse me but before I can question it Mr. Banner summons me. Edward looks at me pointedly but I ignore his gaze, knowing that as soon as our eyes meet my defence will weaken.

"Bella..." Edward's voice is pleading, but Charlie looks imploringly at me so I shove my books into my backpack and turn to walk out of the classroom, whispering "I'm sorry" under my breath as I pass; I know he'll hear it.

Charlie and I exit the school and I scan the parking lot looking for the cruiser. Charlie clears his throat, "You mind if we take the truck Bells? My deputy gave me a ride down here and well; I just don't feel like driving."

I nod in response and pull the keys from my backpack; my throat is tight with worry. I clear the steps and cross the lot heading for the Truck.

I pull out of the school parking lot; searching for oncoming cars, after turning onto one of the only few main roads in Forks, I decide to question Charlie about where we are going.

"Erm, Dad, where are we heading?" Charlie jumps at the sound of my voice.

"Head to La Push", he answers short and curt. I know better than to try and engage him in conversation.

I pass the station and Deputy Mark waves, I nod in response.

Charlie clears his throat again diverting my attention from the road back to him.

"Bells, you know my friend Harry Clearwater..." he trails of and I nod. "He suffered from a heart attack" Charlie's voice is grave and I immediately set to comfort him.

"Oh, dad! I'm so sorry Is he alright? What about his family?"

"He's breathing and that's the main thing. Just head on straight to the medical centre, it's a few streets down from the Black's"

"Dad, if Harry had a heart attack don't you think he should have been taken to the hospital?"

"The Clearwater's are very private people Bells, Sue wants to keep him on Tribe land. She's a Nurse herself over there."

Silence once again falls over us, either of us too wound up in our thoughts to attempt conversation.

Why would Edward ask me to stay, he obviously knew what had happened, personally I don't remember much of the Clearwater's but they are obviously close to Charlie. And what did he mean by 'It's not safe', did he really think Charlie was so irresponsible that he'd knowingly endanger me in any way.

I follow the main road through La Push and pass the Black's house. Charlie gives directions till we finally see the medical centre, which looks more like a converted three-storey house.

I pull up into the nearest parking space, Charlie is out of the truck before I even have a chance to brake and I scramble to follow him, climbing up the three steps and into the small reception area.

A small Quileute woman is seated behind the desk frantically tapping away at her ancient computer. She looks up as we approach and gives us directions to Harry's room.

I suddenly feel really awkward. I hardly know the Clearwater's, the last time I saw Harry was one Saturday, a while ago, when he and Charlie were going out to fish.

There are only three floors to the medical centre so it's not hard to find our way. We walk towards the elevator which is located on the opposite wall to the receptionists' desk. We walk through waiting area where various chairs are positioned around an old coffee table, week-old newspapers strewn everywhere.

Several of the people sat down stare openly at Charlie and I as if we don't belong here; I blush, tuck my head down and walk into the elevator.

Billy and Jacob are sat outside Harry's room, facing the door, looking solemn. They look towards us simultaneously and Charlie's shoulder's slump as we approach them, his face no longer hiding his pain.

"Is he..." he trails of and Billy holds his gaze.

"No, Charlie, he's still here, Sue and the kids are with him right now." Charlie nods and falls heavily into a chair. I stand awkwardly next to him not sure what to say.

Billy eyes me warily, "Hello Bella, how are you?" I remember my high school dance, when he sent Jacob to 'warn' me. The memory is still fresh and it makes it hard for me to be warm towards him, even if he is my Dad's best friend, even under these circumstances.

I smile at him softly, but it feels false on my lips, "I'm okay", he nods and then turns to Charlie, they make light conversation but I can tell it's half hearted.

Jacob catches my eye over our dads and the corner of his mouth turns up in a silent hello, I give him a little wave. His smile widens into a sunny grin and I can't help but return it.

He turns away for a moment, closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, letting it out slowly; I study him from my peripheral.

He looks so hopeless. I can only imagine how hard this must be for him and Billy, being in the hospital under these conditions, similar to those when Sarah Black passed. That was the summer I decided to stop coming to Forks during my holidays so I was never around when they lost her.

A sudden protectiveness emerges from inside of me, I form an escape plan in my head and tap Charlie's shoulder, "Jake and I are gonna head down stairs, you guys need anything?"

Billy and Charlie both answer no and Jake stands, relief clear on his expression.

We walk side by side down the stairs avoiding the elevator, we reach the small waiting area receiving more strange looks from the people sat there, and he gestures for me to take a seat before settling next to me.

It's silent between us for a few minutes, my fruitless attempts at flirting with Jake that one time at the beach making me blush.

Finally Jacob breaks the awkward silence. "How is school? Did they actually let you out, without any trouble?" he asks.

I appreciate the distraction and immediately answer, "Yeah, Charlie came in especially and talked to the principle, they'll probably send some work with one of my friends" _or one of the Cullen's_, I add in my mind.

"Did you take the whole day off, today?" I ask in return. He nods, and then looks down towards his lap.

I study him for a second, he seems to remember something, "Happy late Birthday, Bells" I snort and he asks me how I spent my 'special' day. Ha! If only he knew how much of a disaster it turned out to be.

I'm surprised at how easy conversation is between Jake and I, we talk about nothing and our banter is light and almost playful, he leaves for a few minutes to get a bottle of water from the vending machine next to the receptionist's desk. He takes a swig then offers the bottle to me, "thanks," I take it from him and take a few sips, then hand it back.

"Sooo..." he drags the word out playfully as he sits back down next to me fastening the lid on the bottle, through the frosted windows of the entrance I can see it's almost dark outside, "What happened to your arm there Bells?" his warm hand wraps around my bicep and I slightly flinch from the contact, his touch so different to the coldness I'm used to, he notices. "Does it hurt?" I shake my head no, and he shoots me a disbelieving look.

"It doesn't really hurt" _not if you don't touch it_. He opens his mouth as if to question me further but the entrance door opening cuts him off.

A small burst of wind coming through the open doorway makes me shiver for a second, before the space is filled.

Three men walk through the door forming a 'V', they tower over everyone, with their long legs. Their shirtless, broad chests glistening from what can only be the rain outside, ab's looking ready for some serious cheese grating, I shiver because it is definitely cold out there and they seem to be perfectly unaffected by the weather.

They also seem to have lost their shoes, the only item of clothing they are all wearing are tiny cut-off jean shorts, _I wonder when La Push starting holding 'strongest men' competitions._

The one at the front – the tallest and older looking one – turns to look at us, and as his eyes land on me his nose wrinkles in disgust. _What the hell is his problem; I've never seen him before in my life_. The other two snap their heads towards me and I swear they let out an almost animalistic growl.

Jake's arm trails from my shoulder to my hand where he clasps it tightly. The men seem to notice this action and become interested in Jake then. If possible his hand holds me tighter; he's not looking at them anymore more. He is facing the ground, but his brow is furrowed and to be honest he looks just a little pissed off.

The one at the front mutters something and they walk towards the stairs.

Jake lets out a breath and sinks deeper into his chair. I look around at the rest of the people in the waiting room, going about their own business and seemingly oblivious to our awkward exchange.

"God, I hate them" Jake mutters.

"You know them?" it's supposed to be a question but it comes out more surprised. Jake is way too sweet to know those guys.

"Who doesn't? They're the La Push gang." He doesn't say anything more so I press forward, "Gang? Like bullies or something?"

He snorts at my question. "More like Hall monitors gone bad, they 'keep peace' around here. Seriously, it's _stupid_." I stare at him from the corner of my eye, his body is tense, his hand clenching mine tightly, hurting me slightly and he's scowling at the floor, I've never seen him act like this before.

"I don't get it, I mean I understand that maybe you're annoyed, but honestly it's not like they're doing anything wrong."

He meets my eyes and looks upset; he's obviously offended that I don't agree with him.

He struggles for words before he says, "They just act like, like real tough guys. I swear, once I was at the convenience store with Quil – my friend – he said something that pissed off one of Sam's disciples, the one who was on the left, and he just starting shaking, like he was so angry he couldn't control it. Then Sam came over, whispered something in his ear and he just stopped, and walked away. And if you knew Paul, then you would know that he's the sort to maim first, ask questions later."

I'm instantly scared of this one – Paul – the second Jake mentions the word 'maim'. He seems to notice my stricken expression and chuckles at my expense. I frown.

We both fall silent for a moment before he continues. "The worst part is though; the council actually meet with him, like he's a part of it already. Leah Clearwater mentioned a few weeks ago that they call themselves 'Protectors'." He shoots a glance at me, "Lame, I know" he says, trying to lighten the mood.

He pauses, but I can tell there's something else that's bothering him.

"That's not all though is it? There's more." He looks at me, then back at the ground, his bottom lip trembling slightly, this time I squeeze his hand.

He hesitates, "It's just... I don't know" he turns in his seat to fully face me, "It's just the way they treat me."

My brow furrows, "The way they treat you? What do you mean?"

"My great-grandpa, Ephraim Black was sort of the last chief of our tribe, and I guess the elder's today see Billy as 'Chief' now, but me, I'm just like every other guy – yet Sam treats me special"

My eyes widen, "He treats you special?"

"Yeah, he watches me, like he's waiting for me to join his gang; he pays more attention to me than my friends Quil or Embry or any of the other guys."

That protectiveness from before comes back with a vengeance. "You don't have to join anything Jake, have you talked to Billy; you said he was on the council, right?"

He doesn't get a chance to answer me, a sudden ringing cuts through our conversation, I pull out my cell phone and Edward's name flashes across the screen, I look to Jake who raises his eyebrow in question. I press 'answer' and put the phone to my ear. I get up to leave but Jacob grips my hand pulling me back down.

I shrug of his hand but stay seated.

Before I can even utter a greeting, his irritated voice cuts me of, "Where are you?"

Edward's question is sharp and I know better than to drag out this conversation without reassuring him first, even though he knows where I am. "Hey, I'm here, in La Push, my dad's friend..."

I'm cut of once again by his sharp intake of breath; his worry for my being here is really starting to grate on my nerves.

"Bella, you need to come home, now!" his tone is commanding and I am instantly annoyed – he is not my father! I feel Jacob tense beside me and I'm pretty sure he can hear every word of our conversation.

"Excuse me" I pause for dramatic effect, "I'm sorry Edward but I can't, my dad's friend had an heart attack and they need me" Okay, so it's a lie - they don't really need me - but one look into Jacob's eyes confirms that he _does_ need me and honestly, I don't have the heart to just leave him here.

"But Bella, you don't understand! It's not safe!" Again I am confused at what he means by this, and I notice the desperate quality in his voice. It sounds like he's ready to drive down here, throw me over his shoulder and walk out like he owns the place.

"And why in the world, Edward Cullen, would it not be safe?" Jake snorts out laughter beside me slightly and I furrow my brow trying to hide the smile threatening to break through.

Edward avoids my question, of course, and instead answers with one of his own. "When will you be home?" He knew we would be staying the night, he was just being rude

Not that I can personally imagine what Harry's family is going through, but Edward's just being inconsiderate. The voice in the back of mind instantly defends Edward, telling me he is a vampire, he has witnessed so much death throughout his years, and it's just normality for him. But Harry isn't dead.

"I don't know" I sigh, my voice sounds a tiny bit hopeless; I can't make him happy and be there for Charlie at the same time. "Edward, listen, things are really tense over here and I don't think I'll be home until tomorrow night, but, I just..." I sigh, but continue after he tries to interrupt me, _again._ "Edward, I'll see you tomorrow, okay, I love you. Bye."

Jake's head snaps to mine as I close my phone and shove it back in my pocket. I try to catch his eyes before realising he's glaring over my shoulder. I turn towards the stairs and see three men from before, Sam, Paul and the other guy frozen in place - a look of shock on each of their faces. I have no idea how, but somehow I just know they heard me confess my love for Edward.

My heart stops for a second as Sam's intense gaze meets mine, I'm fixed on place and I doubt I could have moved even if I really tried. He shakes his head, make a sort of forward action with his right hand and stalks out of the room, his two followers trailing behind him in sync – I swear I can hear the silent 'left, right, left, right' of their footsteps.

Jake's warm arm comes around my shoulder's drawing my attention to him. He gives me an unsure smile and I shrug in return. "You okay, Bells?"

"Yeah, I'm fine", just really confused. Why the hell did it look like Sam had an interest in ME! Jake was right, it's definitely a creepy feeling.

He gestures to the stair case behind me.

Charlie comes stumbling down the stairs, tears in his eyes and his shoulders slumped. Jake and I rise simultaneously, a lump forms in my throat as I race over to Charlie and throw my arms around his waist. Jake pats him on the back in a very male like gesture and climbs the stairs two at a time – presumably to console and comfort Billy.

"I'm so sorry, Dad", I whisper, saving him the trouble of confirming what I already know. He just nods against me and I feel his chin bump the top of my head as he holds onto me tighter.

Harry is gone.

**A/N: Review if you like :)**


	2. Dealing

**A/N: First of all thank you for all the reviews/alerts, they mean the world to me. Thank you to Zohra for making the magic happen... *wink***

**Disclaimer: All recognisable characters/ themes belong to their creator SM.**

**Enjoy :)**

****_17th Sept_

I exit the medical centre, stand at the top of the steps for a few minutes and just breathe.

The impact of what happened has finally hit me and it feels surreal.

I lower my eyes from the sky and scan the small parking area, Sue, Charlie and Billy are near Billy's truck discussing something. Leah and Seth are stood with Jacob, the whole thing looks horribly awkward and I snort hysterically – I have no idea how to deal with death.

I descend the stairs, Charlie meets me halfway.

I eye him warily; he looks so tired, like he's about to pass out any second.

"How you feeling, Dad?" It's a silly question of course, but I just need to know that he'll be okay.

"As well as can be expected, Bells, I'm gonna crash at the Clearwater's tonight, Billy too. There's things that have to be arranged, you know." He rubs his forehead roughly, "I want you to take both Seth and Leah to the Black's, I want you to stay there too."

"But Dad, it's a school day tomorrow and I-" I use school as my excuse but really I'm worried about what Edward will say when I finally confront him.

"Bells, under the circumstances, please understand okay. I'll call the school tomorrow and let them know, I'll pick up some work for you at some point as well."

I nod in agreement, but still am worried about Edward's reaction. I'll have to call him soon to let him know for sure that I won't be home. If I'm being honest, I'm a little worried at what his reaction will be.

"Bells, you should talk to Sue for a second, you know." We walk over to Billy's truck together and Charlie starts to help him in.

I stand silently for a second, what am I supposed to say to a woman who has just lost her soul mate.

I clear my throat, "Sue..." she meets my eyes, my words falter for a few seconds, she is the epitome of strength, her posture straight and her eyes hard, showing none of her pain.

"I'm so sorry for your loss..." I trail of not knowing what to say. "If there is anything I can do, I..."

"Take care of my Son and Daughter, please." I nod sincerely and she reaches for my hand, giving it a gentle squeeze before turning away, signalling the end of our conversation.

I pass Charlie and Billy and tell them goodnight before walking back to my own truck. Leah is squashed up against the door; Seth by her side their hands clasped tightly in Leah's lap, Jake is seated in the flatbed.

I climb in, turn the ignition and crank up the heat; I start towards the Black's house. I steal a glance at the Clearwater children, Leah is stone-faced looking so much like her mother in that moment whilst Seth sob's into his free hand, his shoulders shaking on every intake of breath.

We pull up at the house and get out, it's a windy evening and I brush my hair out of my face. Jake stalks toward the house and Leah follows, Seth mumbles something unintelligible before running for the beach, Leah hesitates to go after him but I gesture for her to go inside.

"Don't worry, I'll go." Leah nods at me.

It's not hard to find Seth. He's stood a few feet from the ocean crying silently, his shoulders shaking violently and skipping stones, throwing them aggressively into the ocean. I sit quietly next to his feet for a few seconds before he slumps down beside me. He takes a few deep breaths and looks out towards the sky.

I feel way out of my depth.

"Hey" I say. He glances at me before he grimaces, moans out in pain and falls onto my shoulder sobbing. I start rambling, "It's gonna be okay Seth – things will get better, it's gonna feel bad at first, but, it will get better somehow"

My words are no help.

I look around desperately trying to find something, anything that will comfort him.

I notice a single star in the sky and an idea strikes me. "Hey Seth, look, up there, right there!"

He lifts his head from my shoulder and looks up at me, tears glistening in dark eyes. I huff out a small laugh, "Not at me, silly! Look up there." I shake my out stretched hand and he follows with his eyes. "You see that star there, it's the only one in the sky, that's your Dad right there, and he's looking down on you."

Seth looks at me expectantly, nodding slightly encouraging me to continue, "He's right here, watching over you and, from what I knew of him... he was pretty much a no-nonsense man, he would have wanted you to celebrate the life he lived, the things he did for you, your family and the tribe, not drown in despair."

He closes his eyes and swallow, his adam's apple bobbing slightly, "You're right" he seems to let this sink in for a few minutes before he takes a deep breath and squares his shoulders.

"What do you say we head back know" We both rise and dust of our behinds before making our way back.

It's quiet when we reach the house and I wonder if Jake and Leah are already asleep. Seth heads straight for the small bathroom just as Leah exits.

I meet her eyes and we stare at each other for a few seconds, she crosses her arms across her chest, the scowl on her face and red-rimmed eyes not diminishing her beauty, "Thanks" she mutters then walks into the twins' old room and slams the door shut.

I furrow my eyebrows and walk into the kitchen.

Jake is elbow-deep in dishwater and I giggle despite myself and all that has happened. He turns around slightly at the noise and mock glares at me, trying to fight of his own grin. "Something funny, Bells?"

"No, no! Carry on!" I bat my eyelashes playfully at him.

Jake continues washing the dishes and I snort. He turns around once again one eyebrow raised and a line of water on his grey shirt running from hip to hip. The fact that he is unaware is suddenly hilarious and I full out laugh. Jake puts one finger to his lips, but accidently spreads bubbles onto his nose.

I reign in my full belly laugh but Jake and I giggle quietly before sighing at the same time. We look at each other and burst into laughter again.

I move towards him, pull the plate from his hands, find a nearby dishcloth and dry it.

"So" He draws out the word as he hands me another plate. "Seth's taking my room..." As if right on cue, we hear the click of a door down the hall. "I figured you and Leah could share the twin's room, there are two singles in there."

I nod, "Where are you gonna sleep Jake?"

"Just on the couch"

"Oh" is my great reply.

He hands me the last plate and dry it before putting it away in the cupboard. "You hungry Bells?"

I haven't eaten since lunch at school but I am honestly not hungry. "I'm okay, erm I'm just gonna head to bed now thanks."

"Okay, goodnight Bells"

"Night Jake"

He pulls me into a hug and I tense for a second before relaxing fully against him, he pulls me back by my shoulders and smiles softly at me. I clear my throat and slowly turn before leaving him alone in the kitchen.

I can't sleep

It's almost 2:00 am and I can't stop my mind from whirling. I can't stop thinking about Harry's death, Charlie's health and the Cullen's.

Oh my god! The Cullen's! I groan and throw a hand over my eyes, how in the world am I going to face Edward.

A sharp intake of breath snaps me out of my thoughts; I sit up abruptly and then feel incredibly stupid.

It's Leah, she's crying, but honestly, I'm the last person she probably wants to talk to.

I sigh and lie back down trying to drown out the sound. I feel so awkward, I know, she knows I'm listening to her. I can't not do anything; it goes against my natural instinct.

I sit up again and reach for the lamp beside the bed, turning it on – Leah flinches as her eyes adjust and I blink my eyes rapidly.

"Shut off the goddamned light, Swan!" I know it's supposed to sound menacing but her voice is broken and husky due to crying.

I decide to ignore her; I stand and make my way over to the bed she's lying on. "You okay?"

"Piss off" again; she says this half-heartedly, almost as if she doesn't want me to leave. I sit on the edge of the bed and rub her back gently. She doesn't tell me to move this time, so I don't.

I stare out the window unseeingly until her breathing becomes softer; I know she has fallen asleep.

I creep to the other side of the bed again. I reach for my cell phone just as the screen flashes and it starts buzzing loudly; it's Edward.

I almost answer, but realise he's gonna want answer's that I'm just not in the mood for giving right now. I switch off my cell and climb into bed.

I wake up four hours later feeling worse than I did when I fell asleep. A glance over at Leah tells me she is still very much down for the count; the rest of the house is quiet.

I slip out of the bedroom and make my way to the bathroom; I use the toilet then search for some toothpaste. I dab some on my finger and use it as a makeshift brush before making my way to the kitchen.

Jake is still asleep on the couch in an awkward position and despite the size of his body crowding the tiny couch, I'm taken by surprise at how young he looks. His nose twitches as if sensing my scrutiny. Cute.

The shrilling ring of the phone leads me to the kitchen; it's Charlie.

"Hi Dad, how are you?" he pauses before he answers, "I'm doing okay, I guess, listen could you bring the Clearwater's and Jake over here in a little while?"

"Sure Dad, erm do you mind if I go home today..." I pause grasping for an excuse. "I need to pick up some clothes and take a shower"

"No need Bells, I already went and got some of your stuff and Sue says it's fine if you use their shower."

Damn.

"Okay Dad, I'll see you then, nobody's really awake yet..." I trail off, slightly peeved at him, why is he making it so hard for me to see Edward. The longer I wait the worse things will get.

"Take your time Kid, us old folk, we're gonna meet with the Tribe Elder's to make arrangements anyway" And just like that the guilt is back.

"I guess I'll see you later then, take care Dad, I love you"

He sighs, "I love you too Kiddo, so much" the line goes dead.

I lean back against the kitchen counter and let the events from yesterday wash over me; so much has changed.

I know today is going to be busy, so I sneak back into the bedroom, snag my cell phone from the drawer and tip-toe back to the kitchen. With all the courage I can muster, I dial Edward's number.

He picks up on the first ring.

"Hey" I greet him trying to sound casual, when all I want is to be wrapped up safe in his arms. There's a long silence on the other end of the line- he is definitely mad at me. I bite down on my lip and stare out of the window above the kitchen sink, I haven't done anything wrong yet I feel so guilty.

"Bella..." his pained whisper shoots daggers of pain through my heart. I can't stand to hear him sound like this.

"Edward, what's wrong?" he bites out a sarcastic laugh and I freeze in shock. _What has gotten into him? He sounds nothing like the sweet Edward I am used to. _"What's _wrong_, Love, is that you are still on that damned Reservation and it is _still not safe!"_

His blatant degrading attitude of the Rez irritates me, a feeling that I have never once before linked to Edward. "You keep saying that but I don't understand!" I'm whisper shouting and glance over my shoulder to make sure I'm still alone.

I keep rambling, "What do you mean? If it wasn't safe, if something bad was going to happen, Alice would be able to _see _it!"

He groans in frustration and I furrow my brow, why do I feel like I'm missing something so obvious?

"That's just it though, Love, she can't see you, not when you're in La Push, that's why it's not safe! If something happened to you..."

I cut him off as soon as the words leave his mouth, after seeing how easily life can be taken away I feel tired of being so sheltered. "So what if something happens? Huh? La Push is even smaller than Forks, Edward, I'm sure I'll be fine – but..." I clench my eyes shut trying to find the right way to say this to him, "Edward, normal humans don't have vampire guardians watching over them all the time and most of them seem to do just fine – it's just a matter of a few more hours and then I'll be home."

"A few hours" I just know he's pinching the bridge of his nose, "Bella" his voice sounds strangled, I want to jump in my truck and drive over to his place right now. "Can't you just leave now, what about school?"

"Charlie called in already and explained, they've given us a couple of days – Listen, I don't think I can explain it but well... Harry was very important down here on the Rez and they need help with all the preparations for, you know..."

He takes a moment to digest this and seems to let it go... for now.

"You're such a good person, my beautiful Bella, I love you and will see you soon, Love."

His compliments do nothing to erase the sinking feeling in my stomach. I try to swallow but it catches in my throat, "I love you too... it's just, they really do need my help."

"I understand, Love, but you can't blame me for worrying, especially after what happened with Jasper on your birthday." And just like that the guilt overwhelms me again, it's an emotion I'm becoming all too familiar with and I hate it.

"Goodbye love" he says when I don't respond.

"Goodbye" the line goes dead and I put my cell in my pocket. Over the past couple of days since my birthday and the 'accident' he has used each and any excuse to keep bringing it up at times when I really _don't_ want to talk about it, when all I'd really like to do is forgive and forget.

The click of a door up the hall reminds me of my promise to Sue, I push all my feelings away for later and focus on taking care of Seth and Leah in any way I can.

The rest of the morning is uneventful. We eat breakfast, get ready and make our way over to Sue's house. Seth and Leah sit up front once again; they don't talk.

By the time we arrive Billy, Sue and Charlie have already left. Leah and Seth both go straight upstairs leaving Jake and I in the kitchen.

I recognise a small overnight bag as my own on Sue's kitchen table and make my way upstairs following Jake's instruction to the bathroom; I knock and enter when there is no reply.

I shower with precision, scrubbing each part of my body thoroughly whilst trying to clear my mind.

Of course it doesn't work.

When I finally come back downstairs the living room and kitchen still have evidence of last night and breakfast so I make myself useful and start tidying up. Jake is silent, lost in his own thoughts as he helps where he can.

Just as afternoon turns to evening, the timer on the slow cooker rings telling me the casserole I prepared earlier is done. The parents arrived a little while ago so I serve up to everyone; Leah hasn't come out of her room since we got here.

I make up a plate and climb the stairs to Leah's room. Her room is the furthest on the left, I knock lightly but she doesn't answer so I push the door open anyway. Her room is decent sized, a twin bed in the centre, her closet to the left. A huge window covers most of the right hand wall with a small platform seat covered with cushions.

She is sat on the window seat, knees pressed to her chest and staring blankly out of the window. I take a seat opposite her and offer her the plate. She looks at it then turns back to the window.

I don't have anything to say so I set the plate down next to her. I stare out the window for a moment trying to see what she is seeing, a tiny movement in trees catches my attention and I squint, but nothing moves. I blink and shake my head slightly, must be my imagination.

Leah hasn't attempted any conversation since I came up here so I decide to leave her with her thoughts.

I stand up to leave, turn and place a hand on her shoulder, "I'm really sorry about your Dad." I gently squeeze her shoulder before going back downstairs.

After making sure there is nothing else I can do, I say a quick goodbye to my dad before making my way to my truck and starting home.

He's there of course, sitting on the edge of my bed, looking just as much the Adonis he did on our first night together.

Neither of us says anything as I rush into his arms, the familiar coolness instantly washing away all negative feelings. He pulls me toward my bed and we lay together.

And there in his solid embrace, I let the events of the past days come over me and I cry silent tears until I fall asleep.

Two days later and I'm making my way back to the Black's house; it's the day of the funeral.

This morning I woke up without Edward next to me, I keep telling myself he was probably trying to avoid another argument about me spending the day in La Push, but the annoying voice in the back of my mind keeps telling me it's something worse.

I pull up to the Black's house, get out and smooth down the black dress Alice insisted I wear. After saying a quick hello to Billy and Charlie, Jake and I pile into the back of their truck and make our way to the ceremony.

Somehow Jake's hand finds mine and I intertwine our fingers, my nerves getting the better of me. We arrive at the Clearwater's and I spot Sue just as she sees me. I make my way over to her and give her a hug; she picks up a glass of what looks like some kind of liquor and downs it in one shot. I gape at her and she shrugs, "S'for the nerves"

I ask if there is anything I can do but Sue shakes her head, she shoots a pointed look over my shoulder and I turn to see Leah standing ram-rod straight holding a tray of drinks and looking utterly beautiful in her soft flowing black dress. "Don't let go of her hand" Sue whispers in my ear before placing a kiss on my cheek and walking away to attend to other guests.

I start to make my way over to her but get caught in a tight hug; it's Seth. He looks older than he did the other night, wearing a dress shirt and pants. His tie is a little wonky so I straighten it, and then kiss him lightly on the forehead. He buries his face in my neck in a child-like gesture and I hold him close.

Leah meets my eyes over Seth's shoulder and she gives me an approving look. I shoot her a small smile but she turns away. Seth pulls away and I smile at him. "Hey, you look smart. How are you doing?" he looks tired and uncomfortable.

"I'm fine Bella, erm, I have to go out there..." by the way he says this I can tell he doesn't want to. He turns to go into the back yard where people have started to gather, then faces me again. "Thanks for the hug, Bella, I needed that" He walks away before I can say anything else.

I speak to random people, telling them I'm sorry and listening to them recall memories of Harry and before I know it we are piling into our cars and on our way to the cemetery.

It's a beautiful day out as we make our way to the far end of the cemetery reserved for Tribal Elder's. I make my way to the front of the crowd earning myself a few looks from others in the crowd. I ignore them and search on remembering the order Sue gave me in the kitchen.

I see her then, long hair flowing in the wind and stray tears running down her cheeks. An older man is standing next to her and it looks as though he's whispering words of comfort to her. She turns toward him and I see the look of longing in her eyes. He does too and recoils enough so I can see his face. I recognise his strong features from the day at the hospital; it's Sam Uley.

Leah's face crumbles in pain and I walk towards her as fast as I can. They both turn to me as I approach; I reach for Leah's hand and hold onto it tightly, she in turn gives mine an appreciative squeeze. I glance at Sam Uley; he too is watching me, his eyes narrow at me and the uneasy feeling from at the hospital returns.

I turn my attention towards Leah once again, "How are you?"

She doesn't say anything just turns away from Sam, facing me fully, the tears streaming down her face faster.

"Please excuse us" I say in the general direction of where Sam is stood and pull Leah to the front of the crowd.

The ceremony was surprisingly short, not that I had ever been to a funeral before.

Both Charlie and Billy gave speeches, and of course Sue, Seth and Leah were too emotional to form words. I didn't let go of her hand throughout the ceremony until the very end.

Sue lit 5 candles and handed them to Leah and four other young girls who I'm assuming were relatives, a small piece was spoken about the significance of the Candles and how they symbolised passing into heaven.

The 5 girls move towards a small stream along the far end of the cemetery and they let the candles go.

Jake finds me then; he bumps his shoulder against mine and smiles softly at me. His eyes are red, but I pretend not to notice, I circle his waist with my arms and he in return, pulls his arm up around my shoulders.

I get a strange feeling that someone is watching me; I turn to my right and find one of the girls who was holding a candle staring at me. At first I stare back, she is so beautiful.

Then she turns to face me fully and I gape at her, I swallow thickly and look away but not before I smile politely.

One half of her face is ruined by four angry red marks starting at the corner of her eye and disappearing beneath her dress collar. It has me confused for a moment until I decide to put it aside and focus on making it through the rest of the ceremony.

We're back at the house now and Leah has decided to shadow me, offering no response when people talk to her leaving me to stand there, awkwardly smiling and nodding at them.

Seth and Jake appear now and then, handing us drinks and bits of food that were probably made by some of Sue's friends. I had asked the night before if Sue had wanted me to prepare anything but she had refused.

A few hours pass and slowly people start to file out, offering their final condolences as they go.

Jake snags my hand from behind, turns me towards him, then pulls me into a quick hug, a rush of warmth fills my heart and I realise I should spend more time with him, preferably when sadness isn't hanging over us.

"Billy and I are gonna head home too." I nod in response.

"It was really good seeing you, Bells" He seems so young now, his chubby cheeks are a little red as he tells me this, I smile at him, my first genuine smile in a while.

"It was good seeing you too, Jake, maybe we should hang out sometime" If possible his blush deepens.

"Cool", he says and I'm reminded of the even younger boy who blushed at my pathetic attempt at 'flirting' on First Beach. With this comes memories of the stories he told, the memory of Edward. As if reading my thoughts he quickly adds, "You know as long as it's okay with the boyfriend"

A throat clearing ends our conversation and this time both Jake and I blush. Billy rolls into view and give me a look, it's almost as though he feels sorry for me, and I have no idea what to make of it.

"Ready to go Jake?"

Jake nods and turns to me, he waves half-heartedly before making his way toward Billy.

"Goodbye Bella, and take care" Billy's voice breaks the silence and I smile at him, he is my father's friend after all. No matter how much I know he disapproves of my relationship with Edward.

"Bye Billy" he nods and waves before he and Jake turn and leave.

Sue comes into the kitchen then, "Bella, sweetie, can I ask you a favour."

She's picking bits and pieces up, throwing plastic cups in the trash, her movements are stiff and calculated; she's about to break down. "Of course, Sue."

She swallows thickly, her back towards me, "Go upstairs and help Leah into bed, just make sure she's okay." I tell her yes and make my way upstairs but not before hearing Sue's muffled sobs.

It's dark in her room so I turn on the light. She's lying motionlessly on the bed, staring up at the ceiling as if it holds all answers of the universe.

I look around taking in the personal aspects of the room, the things that made and defined Leah. There wasn't much, just a few band posters and family photographs mostly of her and her father.

One in particular catches my attention and I move closer to the wall trying to get a proper look at it.

It looks like it's been taken a few years ago, Leah and the other girl are stood on First Beach, arms linked and smiling at the camera. Leah looks just as beautiful back then as she does today, but it's the other girl that looks so familiar. I try hard to think of where I have seen her before but nothing comes to mind. She too is stunning and I just know she's related to Leah somehow.

I cover the gasp of surprise with my hand as I realise just who she is; she's the girl who was staring at me at the funeral, but this picture was taken long before she got those scars.

"Emily Young." I jump at the sound of Leah's voice. With my hand over my stammering heart I turn to face her, she stands slowly and faces away from me.

"My _Beautiful_ cousin." I nod, so my guess was right then, they are related. The snarky note to her voice doesn't go unnoticed either.

She reaches behind her and unzips her dress and lets it fall to the ground.

I feel trapped; I have no idea what to say. I swallow thickly, "You don't like her?

She huffs out a laugh as she walks to the chest of draws and pulls out a sleep shirt and pants. "I used to love her, she's family" she shrugs, pulls on her pants and shirt, "But family don't steal from each other, and now..." she pauses and meets my eyes, staring intensely at me, "Now, I _hate _her."

My eyes widen, they look so happy in the picture together, confusion over comes me. She pretends not to notice, grabs a hairbrush, and sits with her back to me on the bed. "Do me a favour", I walk silently to the bed and perch behind her.

I reach for her braid and slowly part the hair until it hangs naturally down her back; the perfect black curtain.

I take the brush from her and slowly pull it through her hair, it's incredibly thick but manageable, I'm sort of jealous.

We sit in silence for a few minutes; she sighs heavily then squares her shoulder as if she's just made some sort of decision. "I loved him, you know."

My hand falters, "Who?" I ask although I already have an idea who 'he' might be.

"Sam Uley." Again I can hear the longing in her voice.

I void my voice of all emotion when I ask the next question, "What happened?"

She hands me a hair tie and I start to loosely braid her hair again.

"I think I was about 15 when we met, he was working on something with Dad, and he just came into my house, all muscular and sweating and knocked the breath right out of me." I smiled softly; her voice takes on a far away quality, as if she was re-living every single moment.

"He was two years older and a senior at school, every girl had a crush on him, and then he smiled at me and I just, I just knew, you know." I nod even though she can't see me; it's exactly how I felt with Edward.

"I didn't even talk to him, just fluttered around the house trying to get a good glimpse of him without him noticing. He came up and spoke to me though, later at school, in front of everyone, I still remember the looks of envy on all the other girls faces; he didn't seem to notice though."

Her story brings forward memories of what it was like when Edward and I first started dating, what is was still like.

"We dated for a really long time, five years, he was my first everything." I blush slightly at her reference to sex.

"Then one day, he just started acting all weird, he disappeared for a long time and when he came back I wasn't allowed to see him. It was about two weeks after he had come home that he came to see me, told me it was over and that I shouldn't try to fix things."

I reach out to touch her shoulder in a comforting gesture but she brushes me off.

"I didn't even know things were broken, I mean it had been hard but I figured we'd get through it. I called my best friend then, Emily, she would know what to do, I remember she came the same day I called and we talked and she held me whilst I cried. The next day she went to the grocery store and when she came home, everything had changed."

"How? I mean, she was..."

"They're together now." I gasp, praying that I hadn't heard her right.

"You mean Sam and Emily..."

"Yeah, I kicked her out, told her not to come back, Mom and Dad thought I was being ridiculous, but then she moved down here, moved in with Sam. He came over and tried to explain, told me neither of them could help it. Bullshit!"

I swallow thickly, my heart breaking for her. "You know what the worst part is though" she climbs away from me and slips under the covers.

"The worst part is that they both betrayed me, and my Father, my own Dad, was on their side." When she meets my eyes this time I find it hard to keep the nausea away, her eyes are completely empty, void of any emotion, not even anger.

I have to get out of here.

I stand abruptly and she doesn't question me, in fact she seems to understand my need to flee.

"I'm so sorry Leah, goodnight." She nods and sinks into her bed once again. I close her door behind me and lean against it for a minute trying to collect myself. A newfound hatred for Sam overwhelms me.

I ask Charlie if he needs a ride home, he's sat alone at the kitchen table. He tells me he'll be home later and I leave. Sue is nowhere to be seen so I don't bother saying goodbye.

I don't even make it part way out of La Push before the events of the evening take over and sobs rack through me. It's so hard to see the road so I pull over onto the shoulder, curl up into a ball and just cry.

I don't even know why I'm feeling this way, maybe it's Leah's story or the look Billy gave me or... I just have no idea.

Thoughts of seeing Edward soon pull me out of my funk enough to be able to make the drive home. As the 'Welcome to La Push' sign disappears behind me and I get closer to Forks, I start to feel slightly apprehensive.

Something's wrong.

**A/N: Review if you like :)**


	3. Gone

**A/N: I have made a few changes to the first two chapters (thanks to my trusty Intern, you know who you are *wink*) I've just added dates to the chapters to give you an idea of the time scale I'm working on.**

**Thank you for all the Reviews/Alerts, I do read each and every one of them! (Special Thank You to Nikita, your reviews make me laugh and I can't believe you noticed the laughing thing!)**

**Thank You to my Trusty Intern for making the magic happen, she's good like that! P.S. I still owe you Donuts… I will give them to you one day…**

**Enjoy :)**

_19__th__ Sept_

I dry my cheeks with the back of my hand and drop my keys on the sideboard. The uneasy feeling of being watched washes over me and I swallow hard.

My brow crinkles, the kitchen light is on and that means either I left it on this morning (not likely since I always check before I go anywhere) or someone has been in the house.

I approach cautiously, walking silently until I catch sight of my reflection in the hall mirror – I look ridiculous – hair dishevelled eyes red, dress crumpled. I huff out a laugh and enter the kitchen.

Edward's there of course, sat in his usual chair at the kitchen table, staring intently at me.

I smile but stay rooted where I am, I don't try to approach him, he just stares at me for a few minutes before standing silently.

He walks towards me and I catch his scent, I inhale desperately and it calms me. He stands motionless in front of me; he doesn't ask how the funeral was even though I'm pretty sure he can see the tear tracks down my cheeks.

He reaches for my hand and I shiver at the contact.

"Come take a walk with me" I nod silently and let him lead me out the back door. We make our way past the tree line but stay on the trail. What could he possibly want with me here; couldn't we have talked in the kitchen?

Maybe he was taking me to his place. I know better than to question him; he seems so tense.

Suddenly he starts moving faster, tugging impatiently at my hand, as we make our way further into the forest always staying on the trail.

Finally we stop, I can no longer see the house, he drops my hand and stalks a few feet away from me.

"Bella" he takes an unnecessary breath and I train my eyes to the ground. "Were leaving." He says this so quietly that I almost don't hear him.

Almost.

My heart stops then leaps into overdrive, my mind races at the possibilities and consequences.

_Why? And what could this mean? What would I tell Charlie? Where would I finish school? Would they turn me before or after graduation? They were planning on turning me, right?_

As if reading my thoughts – I snort at the irony – his eyes clench painfully, "Bella, my family and I are leaving."

Confusion overrides everything and then...Fear.

My eyes snap to his and widen. No! No, he can't be serious, can he? I stare imploringly at him searching for something, anything to indicate he's lying to me.

He's not.

"No!" I somehow manage to mumble out a string of pleas but they sound just as hopeless as they do in my mind. I don't care though, I have to try.

"No, No, Edward you promised me! You promised in Phoenix that you wouldn't leave, you said that and now..." I trail of as I realise my words are having no effect on him, his decision has been made, probably for a while now.

He doesn't say anything, just stares over my shoulder and I turn my head trying to see what he does.

The dead leaves flutter around me and when I turn back he's right there in front of me; as beautiful as ever, his face void of any emotion.

He speaks then, going on about how I'm not good for him, of course I already know I'm not _good enough_ for him.

He laughs at his jab at my sieve-like memory and tells me it will be as though he never existed. How can he say things like this? Does he not love me?

He falls silent once more, I flutter my hands helplessly, he reaches up, tips my head downwards and brushes his lips against my forehead.

I breathe in his heady scent and tears start to fall freely down my cheeks for the second time today.

"Promise me..." his voice is harsh as it cuts through our serene moment. "Promise me that you won't do anything reckless, for my sake, and for Charlie's, he needs you." _But you don't, _I add in my head.

By this point I am completely incoherent, I clench my lips together knowing that only screams and wails and sounds of pain will escape if I even dare open them. I try to swallow past them.

Somehow I find enough strength to clasp the lapel of his dress jacket with my right hand, I hold so tightly my knuckle bones scrape harshly against the skin.

"Please, please, please don't", it's fruitless and does nothing to change his mind. His hands come up and lock both my wrists in his iron grip and an unhuman noise escapes me, my breath catches and I almost choke myself.

There's no stopping the tears now, my whole body shakes.

"Goodbye Bella." He gently pushes my hand down to my sides, he presses a firm kiss to my forehead and on instinct my eyes close.

Seconds later I feel the unnatural shift in the air and my eyes flash open.

He's gone.

I blink a few times in disbelief. I'm alone, all alone. My knees give out and I fall in a heap amongst the debris, just as dead as they are.

I crunch the dead leaves in my hands, trying to feel something other than the emptiness inside me; I feel so hollow.

It takes a few minutes but then something else starts building, it rises and rises until it can't no more; then I open my mouth and a scream rips from deep inside me. It's quickly followed by another and another, I try to put my hands over my mouth to cover them but they penetrate my hands and pierce the air again and again. I feel dirt and bits of the forest on my face and in my mouth as I scratch my hands down my cheeks.

I clutch at my chest, there's fire. There's fire right there in my chest and it's _burning._

It's burning and I have to find him, I have to follow him.

I try to escape the pain in my chest; a sharp piercing that knocks the air out of me and sends me to knees again. I don't give up though; I rise again and stumble forward.

I press on knocking into trees and falling down many times. Its pitch black dark and I can't go on any more but I have to try.

I'm pretty sure I'm covered in scratches and bruises as I trip once again and land face down in a puddle.

I go to stand again adamant to go on but it's no use, my body is too weak, I'm too weak, I'm just human.

With this realisation I drop my face into the puddle hoping to drown myself and pass out from exhaustion.

~OE~

I open my eyes and stare into the darkness above me, through gaps in the trees I can see several stars dotted around and for a moment I wonder what it would feel like to be up there.

~OE~

When I come to this time I feel more like myself, well just as broken and vulnerable as before.

The pain in my chest is ever present but more like a glowing ember rather than a naked flame. I'm flat on my back with no energy to move. I try to part my lips but it's no use, I need water.

A sudden rustle by my feet forces me to lean up on my bruised elbows.

For a moment I can't be sure, two glowing eyes peek at me from behind the curtain of trees.

I blink and as quickly as they appear, they're gone.

A more prominent rustle hastens my breath as I think of all the creatures that could be out there. How far into the forest did I try to follow Edward?

At the mere thought of his name I feel it, the final rounding of a hole that has punctured my heart.

A tall, broad figure steps forward and I try to scream, but it gets stuck in my throat. It suddenly crouches near me and then I'm blind.

I blink against the sharp brightness of the flashlight and try to focus on what I'm presuming is my rescuer.

I don't recognise his voice but his features are distinct; it's Sam Uley.

"Bella", his deep baritone vibrates throughout my whole body. "Charlie sent me to find you. Have you been hurt?" I try to ignore the fact that he didn't just ask if I _was_ hurt. I nod my head. If Charlie sent him then he's safe.

His features shift to concern and concentration. "Where are you hurt, Bella?" I try to point to my chest but I just end up falling straight on my back again.

He reaches a hand under my shoulders and underneath my knees in an attempt to lift me and I finally find my voice.

I scream and scream drowning out his words of comfort until he sets me down and stops touching me; he feels like _fire._

"Fire, you're... I'm on fire, help..." I let out some god awful noise and he backs away slightly his hands held up in front of him in a non-threatening gesture.

I grasp at the front of my shirt and gasp for breath. After a few minutes I begin to calm down just as Sam's head cocks to the side.

Two other men burst through the shrubbery and flank Sam; they are his shorter carbon copies from the hospital, Jared and Paul.

I watch with wide eyes as Sam mutters quietly to them and they relax a little.

Sam kneels beside me again but I have no energy to try and move away, nor can I scream anymore.

"Bella, I'm just going to lift you and carry you to Charlie's house, the guys here are going to follow and make sure we stay safe, okay?"

He doesn't wait for me to reply, his arms once again lift me and he tucks me into his naked chest.

He strides gracefully through the blanket of dead leaves and shrubs without making a sound.

I push my face into his neck and breath in his earthy scent trying to ground myself.

I was on my way home, in the arms of this unnaturally warm man. A man that I felt... safe with.

Thoughts of Jacob force me into thinking about what he would think of me if he saw me in this state. I wonder if he was out here tonight, if Charlie had gotten so desperate as to call Sam then Jake must have been out here for a long time too. And so many others, a whole search party, the realisation of what I have caused catches up with me and my insides churn.

Sam lowers me to the ground and on all fours just in time for me to release the contents of my stomach, he holds my hair in one hand whilst the other gently rubs my back. I throw up until there's nothing left and then wretch painfully, my empty stomach heaving.

"Fuck, Sam..." I hear one of the men say, I can't tell whether it's Paul or Jared but they sound pained, "She's a mess."

I try to protest but the vomit in my mouth cuts of any words, I spit on the ground in an un-ladylike fashion. My mouth feels so dry and my tongue heavy.

Probably sensing that I'm through getting sick Sam hoists me back up gently so he doesn't jostle my delicate stomach and starts walking again. I barely register the rest of the journey falling in and out of consciousness; my head feels like it's stuffed with cotton.

We clear the edge of the trees and a chorus of my name being called greets me.

"I've got her," the warm chest beneath my face rumbles with speech. "She's not hurt that bad, just a few cuts and bruises, I think she's just really tired." He's obviously speaking to someone, "she passed out a couple of times but her breathing is fine."

"Bella" this voice I recognise. Its Charlie- he sounds terrible.

"D-dad," my voice is raw and it burns when I try to speak.

"Shh, shh honey, I'm here." He pulls me from Sam's arms and into his own, but Sam trails us into the house one arm held out towards us, probably to catch me if Charlie fails.

We crowd into the small living room and Charlie places me down on the couch. He turns to Sam, "blankets are in the cupboard at the top of the stairs." Sam nods then leaves, his two carbon copies are stood at my feet staring down at me, one with distaste and the other with pity.

I can't stand it.

I turn away just as Billy, being pushed by Jacob, comes to rest by my head. They don't say anything, but I can feel their silent strength wash over me, it calm's me a little.

"Bella," Charlie comes back and this time Dr. Grenady follows, he checks my vitals and attends to the cuts and bruises, he advises Charlie on what times to give me the medicine he prescribed then leaves.

One by one car engines start and fade away, Charlie takes Billy into the kitchen and they murmur quietly with Sam, and Jake refuses to leave me alone with Sam's gang so sits by my head on the floor.

I close my eyes in hope that they'll think I'm asleep and leave.

Jakes fingers stroke my forehead gently, the human contact feels nice.

"Water," I manage to croak out; he nods and walks into the kitchen, but not before giving the other two boys a pensive look.

Sam walks back in and nods to the other guys, they head outside, he kneels by my head and stares into my eyes, "You're safe now," he whispers before leaning forward, I tense as his lips brush gently against my forehead before he rises and leaves. His lips were so warm, I reach up and touch my forehead, sure there must be a burn there.

Jacob comes back and relaxes a little when he sees the others have left, I push up slightly on my elbows and he helps me take sips of my water.

Once my throat feels a little better, he covers me with another blanket then makes his way over to Charlie's recliner.

With the rush of people gone its quiet and exhaustion takes over, I turn on my side facing the back of the couch, pull my knees to my chest and cry silently till I fall asleep.

~OE~

I dream of the forest; it's not cold it's just... nice. It's serene and calm and my hand brushes against something soft, like fur. I turn to my right and notice I'm not alone, there a huge black wolf walking next to, although my heart speeds up I'm never afraid.

We walk at a leisurely pace and when I turn this time it's not an animal, it's the man, Sam. He stops me and leans down near my ear; "You're safe now." He whispers.

~OE~

When I wake up this time I'm in my bed, Charlie must have carried me upstairs on his way to bed last night. I take note of everything, my body feels sore but in working conditions, I really have to use the bathroom, the pain in my chest is completely gone, but know I just feel empty.

I had survived the night, Sam's parting words had left me feeling at ease and it had been so easy to fall asleep. But I was alone now, in my room and the uneasy feeling of emptiness was creeping up on me.

I swing my legs of the edge of the bed and make my way towards the bathroom; the sound of a woman's voice stops me as it filters upstairs. Sue must have come over earlier; I walk into the bathroom, use the toilet, wash my hands and go back into my room. I make sure I avoid all mirrors; I'm not ready to face anyone, not even myself.

~OE~

I must have fallen asleep again because this time I awake to my bedroom door opening.

Leah walks in holding a tray and kicks the door closed behind her; she doesn't say anything, almost like she knows I won't respond. She sets down the tray carrying a steaming bowl of soup and a fresh bottle of water and pulls over the computer chair.

I scramble to sit up but refuse to eat or acknowledge her. She sighs and picks up the bowl and spoon. She spoons it into my mouth and the warmth of it going through me thaws me out little by little, when I'm finished she helps me sip from the water bottle, place the bottle back on my table, lifts the cover and slides in next to me.

Her hand finds mine on top of the cover and she squeezes gently.

We sit in silence for a few minutes; neither of us has any idea how to start a conversation.

"I know how it feels, you feel so special, like they were your whole world. They claim that they love you, that they would die for you and then they break your heart and leave." Silent tears rolled down my cheeks, I wasn't afraid of seeing or feeling her emptiness any more, it was pretty similar to my own.

"You can't do this though, sit here and wallow all day. Charlie would go crazy, he already is." I swallow a little guilt settling in my stomach.

"I ... you remind me of myself, and believe me it didn't help. He never came back no matter how much I willed him too, and in the end I realised I was just hurting myself and my family, the ones who truly care for me and who were truly there for me." I couldn't understand what she was saying, did she want me to just forget E- him.

"It seems like the right thing to do at first, just live in your memories of him but in the end, you have to be strong and carry on for yourself. You have to get up every day and talk to people and even try to have fun. Even if it's just an attempt, at least you don't look as bad as you feel on the inside, it stops them from worrying. Don't avoid your friends Bella, believe me, you'll need them." Friends, I didn't have any friends except for Alice and now even she was gone.

"Bella please don't forget that I know how you feel and if you think that losing the will to live, will make things better, it won't. Just know that if you ever need to talk you can call me." she presses a small piece of paper into my hand then leaves me alone in my room once again.

I didn't leave my room all day, or the next or the next. The home line rings several times a day and Charlie part takes in many hushed conversations. I just sit there and ponder Leah's words, after a while I realise she's right. It feels hard now but she's living proof of survival.

I sink back down into the covers, determined to be strong, for Charlie if not for anything else. But not today, I close my eyes and clear my mind.

Tomorrow I would get out of bed.

**Review if you like :)**


	4. Knowing

**A/N: **** Happy Valentine's Day to everyone.**

**Thank You for all the Reviews/Alerts, I squeal like a child whenever I check my inbox and see them there!**

**I know there's a huge gap in the timing, but it's important that Bella has had time to heal-ish; it works better this way :)**

**Thank you to my Trusty Intern, she's the BOMB! *wink***

**Enjoy :)**

_20__th__ Nov_

School was different.

I blended in even more now without my beautiful companions, going from class to class without the stares and the whispers.

The chatter between my friends was sometimes nice to listen to, hearing them complain about the problems of their lives; what colour shoes they should wear to a date and should they kiss him even though they've only been dating for two weeks.

It got me away from the painful memories at home, and at least at school I could grieve silently.

I walked out of English and straight into the lunch hall and joined the queue.

Just as I'd paid for my lunch an arm came up over my shoulders.

"Mike?"

"Let me carry your tray for you." He pulls it from my puny grasp.

I try to protest but he's already walking towards the table where the rest of my 'friends' await.

I'm guessing Jessica and he were 'off' again as he seemed to be trying extra hard to flatter me, he set's down my tray and pulls out my chair, I look up at Jessica discretely, she rolls her eyes then gives me a sly wink whilst grinning at me, my own mouth twitches a little as I sit down.

They tried to engage me in their conversation but I could hardly get any words out whilst wolfing down my burger, these days the simple act of eating comforted me. I felt like food had been a stranger to me as I was always been too self-conscious to eat healthily in front of the _Cullen's._

Lauren makes some snide remark about how I need to watch my figure as my comfort eating was getting 'way out of hand', and Jessica actually puts down her fork to glare at Lauren.

I raise a brow to myself but don't question it and carry on eating.

"So Bella, you up for it?"

"Huh?" is my awesome reply; guess they had asked me something whilst I was occupied.

"Were planning a little get together in Port A later tonight, you in?"

I was going to refuse on instinct but I find myself agreeing before I put too much thought into it and a breathless, "Yes" escapes me.

It goes silent for a moment before Jessica grins, "Awesome!" She emphasises the word with sincerity and I get the feeling that she is truly happy I've agreed.

~OE~

Charlie isn't home when I get back from school so I ring the station to let him know I'll be in Port A with friends. I throw something quick together for his dinner, leave instructions on a post-it on the fridge then make my way upstairs to get ready.

The jeans I have on would have to suffice, but I definitely needed to change my sweater.

I brush out my hair but it is limp and greasy so I braid it over my left shoulder. I stare at myself in the mirror, pale skin; huge circles under my eyes... at least my cheeks were starting to gain back their shape. I sigh; I needed to take better care of myself.

I glance at myself one more time before making my way downstairs, after checking everything was turned off I lock up and get in the truck.

Before I even start the engine my cell phone rings.

"Hey," the voice on the other end says cheerily.

"Hey, Leah."

"Sooo... you sound well, what are you doing?" She'd been calling to 'check in on me' every other day, it was one of the reasons I had to get out of bed and go through the motions of life. She just had this way of knowing when other people were in pain and sharing it; and I didn't want her to feel any of my pain, not whilst she was still dealing with her own.

"I'm on my way to Port A to see a movie with some friends."

She lets out an outraged gasp, "_You_ have friends!" I roll my eyes but grin at her teasing, my first genuine smile today.

"For your information Leah, yes I do." A quick glance at the dash tells me I still have plenty of time to spare. "I still have time before I'm supposed to meet them, I could pick you up if you wanted to come with, I'm sure they wouldn't mind."

She snorts, "Yeah right, like I want to be seen dead with a bunch of high schoolers." I laugh along with her whilst she pry's about who will be there. She makes a few crude jokes that have me blushing crimson before we hang up as I promise to call her tomorrow with all the 'details'.

I pull out of my drive realising I'll be just a little late.

~OE~

I park my truck and make my way over to where the group are waiting; before Mike can approach me Jessica loops her arms through mine and pulls me along.

"Jeez B- you don't mind if I call you that, do you?" she doesn't wait for an answer. "They thought you had bailed, but I just knew you would come and then you were like, five minutes late and I started to doubt you and..."

We stop and she turns to mock glare at me, "...you almost cost me $20!"

"Erm, sorry?" I say and pull my shoulder up to my ear.

She busts out laughing, walking ahead of us slightly, Angela is quick to come up next to me taking Jess' place and looping her arm through mine, she gives me a small smile then joins in with Jess' laughter. "Relax B," Jess hollers over her shoulder, "I was just kidding!"

I shrug as we make our way over to the ticket booth.

~OE~

The movie was... bad.

So bad in fact that we had the whole theatre room to ourselves.

This then ensued a Girl V. Boy popcorn war that I actually took part in.

Yes, me, Bella Swan was laughing and ducking and pelting popcorn onto the guys whenever they dared near me.

I was having fun and by the time we decided to leave the theatre to eat, I was grinning like a fool.

We turned left and walked down the block till we reached a small pizzeria, after a few minutes we were seated, me between Angela and Jessica, Lauren facing me, the guys to our right.

Lauren sighs impatiently, "That's all they ever do." She nods over to the guys who are currently locked in a deep discussion about sport.

Her upper lip hitches in a silent snarl as she says, "That, and try to get in the pants of plainly inadequate girls."

"Oh hush Lauren, were here to have fun," Jess snaps before I could say anything.

A sly grin lights up Jess' baby doll features, "Besides it's not Bella's fault that all the hot guys want her." She and Angela giggle like loons whilst Lauren scowls and tries to engage Tyler in conversation.

Me, I hide my smile and blush behind my hand as nibble on a breadstick.

A short bubbly woman – Maria – comes over to take our order for drinks and then we are once again left alone.

"So Bella," Lauren starts and I brace myself for the stupidity of what her question is sure to contain, "Have you heard from the Cullen's since they, you know, _left?"_ she snarks, her tone brutal.

Several things happen all at once, Lauren and I stand simultaneously, my hand pulls back and swings forward with a crack, I feel tingles all up my fingers and my palm is stinging, the rest of our table turn into hysterics as Lauren clutches her cheek, her beady eyes glisten with fury.

My eyes go wide and I freeze. _What have I done? _

I never meant to do that but she had been on my case since as long as I could remember, bitching about how 'wrong' my life was since the C-, I wince, since _they_ had left.

I decide that she deserved it and any guilt that had been trying to overcome me vanishes.

She goes to lunge for me but a muscled brown arm crosses her chest and draws her back.

I blink.

Lauren's eyes widen with recognition, and then she turns and starts sobbing falsely against his broad chest.

"Oh! Paul, did you see what that Bitch just did to me?" she resumes her act mumbling other things I don't hear.

His- _Paul's_ eyes are locked on mine though ands recognition flares within me, he had been there _that _night.

His arms fall to his sides and he steps away from her, his dark gaze penetrating me, she looks up through her sobs, huffs at his obvious dismissal of her, then walks out of the Pizzeria throwing a , "This isn't over Swan!" over her shoulder.

From the corner of my eye I see the guys whisper something to Angela then to Maria before walking out, however Paul and I stay locked in our own world.

"You okay, B?" A giddy voice whispers in my ear.

I turn to face Jess, my eyes still tight as I hold my breath trying to gather her reaction, she didn't look mad at me.

I nod, "That was freaking awesome!" she whisper-shouts, Angela turns away to hide her smile, then sobers as she notices who is still stood staring intensely at me.

"Bella, I'm driving Jess home, the guys decided to call it a night too, wanna walk with us to the parking lot? " Angela, obviously trying to get us away from the strange man who stopped Lauren from attacking me, smiles shyly at Paul, and grabs Jessica's arm.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to ruin the night," I try to apologize feeling incredibly bad, they had invited me probably thinking I wouldn't come and now I had spoiled their evening.

"Relax B" Jess cuts me off, "did you not just hear me get done telling you that it was Freaking Awesome?"

"Yeah Bella, she's been mean to you all week – she deserved it." Angela, sweet and innocent Angela was _promoting_ my violence.

Jessica seemed to notice Paul still standing there – _why was he still standing there? – _And her eyes go a little wide as she eyes me warily, "So you walk us out or not B?"

I nod and they link arms walking out before me, I go to follow them but feel a slight tugging at my elbow.

I jump a little and turn to find Paul holding onto my shirt, staring in the direction of my friends, he shakes his head slightly and I realize he wants us to be alone.

The room feels eerily quiet and I tug at my sleeve, Paul releases my shirt and lets out his breath slowly, his nostrils flaring, "let's walk to your truck." He doesn't ask, just states and walks away leaving me trailing behind him, trying to keep pace.

The girls turn back when they realize I'm not right behind them, and Jess narrows her eyes at me.

"You sure you're okay B?" she says, but I figure what she really wants to say is, _Do you know that guy?_

"Yeah, You guys go ahead, I'm gonna give Paul a ride home anyway."

They shoot me one more pensive look before getting into Angela's car and driving off.

The night had been fun but now I felt sober, the air was cold and I felt uncomfortable with Paul, I was unsure if that was because the only thing I knew about him was his name or if it was because he had seen me in my most vulnerable time.

_What could he possibly want with me? Had Sam sent him? _That thought calms me a little, even though I hadn't seen him since that night. Maybe he had come to check up on me.

We reach my truck and before I can question him he sticks out a hand, palm facing up. "Keys."

I raise my brow at him and he sighs rather loudly, "Do you wanna get out of here or not?"

I ignore his question and answer with one of my own, he drops his hand, "Do you need a ride somewhere?"

A raffish grin appears on his face at my words and I blush and look away, _what the hell!_

I hand them over to him and get in the passenger seat. No seriously, I do.

The first half of the drive is silent as I ponder what kind of fool would get into their own car with a stranger they had only seen a few times.

"What ya thinking about, Little Red?"

_Okay! What is up with that pet name?!_

"I was just thinking how dumb it was of me to get into my own truck, with a strange... stranger."

I blush instantly. Great. Now my brain-to-mouth filter seems to have failed me. He glances at me sideways, that raffish smirk playing on his face, though his eyes are guarded.

"Strange, stranger? He chuckles, his shoulders shaking slightly. Oh God! Now he thinks I'm a retard.

I try to take the focus of myself.

"Why are you here anyway? I mean, how did you know where to find me?"

"Please Little Red; don't flatter yourself, you really think I'd want to spend all my free time trailing you and your white friends?" He kept his eyes on the road in front as he says this; he's lying.

"So, why are you driving me home now then?"

He looks over at me then, just a quick glance, "You're not safe out here on your own."

Indignation flares inside me but as soon as it comes, it's gone, crushed under the crippling pain that has me pulling my knees to my chest; _he _had said that to me one time.

I squeeze my knees to my chest tighter desperately trying to hold myself together as I pant, trying to catch my breath.

Paul ignores me, which I was grateful for.

I finally find my voice, "I'm as safe as any other person, I don't need you."

And then I am violently jerked forward as he abruptly pulls over onto the shoulder.

He turns to face me, right leg propped up on the seat between us, his back is stiff, his face showing no sign of fury except for the blazing in his eyes and the slight tremble of his hands.

I swallow loudly as he meets my eyes, the deep seeded fury contained within stares back at me.

He chuckles darkly, "Oh Babe, you have no idea how wrong you are." My eyes widen at his tone.

"I- you don't know anything about me." I mumble into my knees, I seem to have struck a chord with him on this topic. He laughs again, a full belly laugh and I jump. _Seriously, what did he find so goddamned amusing?_

"Oh really, well, let me see, I know that you love to sing- even though you're incredibly off key- whilst you cook, because that's when you are most happy. I know that every night, at exactly 07:30 pm you take a shower, just before Charlie comes home, I know that you love literature, _Wuthering Heights _being your favourite novel..." His voice rises as he lists my evening routine, whilst my heart begins to pound furiously. _Did this guy stalk me?_

"And I know that every single fucking night you check your fucking E-mail for any response from those Bloodsucking Leeches."

His nostrils are flared and he's leaning forward over his propped up leg, and his chest heaving.

Two words from his rant circle in my head making me feel dizzy, I'm pretty sure right now I was staring at him cross-eyed, my heart was pounding so hard, I was actually fearing for my life. _How could he possibly know?_

"Yeah, Little Red, I know all about _the Cullen's _little secret." He spits out their name and I flinch. He couldn't possibly know, I mean the legends say that only members of the tribe that turn...

My eyes widen in realization, but I wasn't about to let him know I'd figured out _his_ little secret.

"You know what they call us down at the Rez?"

I school my features into a cool, calm and collected look and answer him, "Hall monitors on steroids?" It sounds more like a question and for a moment his eyes flash.

Paul snorts in disgust, "Protectors', they call us fucking 'Protectors', Little Red, get it right." He tries to sound angry but his mouth curls around the word in distaste.

Jacob's retelling of the Legends at the beach and his speculation from when we were at the hospital cement in my head and I realize I'm sitting in the cab of my truck with a Wolf-man.

I think back to the dream I had _that _night, the dream about Sam, everything seems to click into place.

My heart rate increases once again, _why the hell am I afraid? I've been in the presence of the supernatural before? I should be a pro at handling situations like this._

Paul seems to pick up on my sudden bout of fear, "Ah, now you're getting it, Little Red, I'm a shifter, a Wolf." Crap. _Was it too late to open the door and oh! I don't know, RUN!_

"So, you see," he says in a conversational tone. _Was he for real? _"Our sole purpose is to destroy bloodsuckers, and that's where you come in."

I stare at him disbelievingly; I can't actually believe that this conversation is happening.

"You're on our side now, _Bella, _you have information on those Vamps and their friends that could help us destroy- "

I crinkle my brow in confusion and cut him off, "I don't know what you mean, but I can't help you."

My head feels too full, I need to get away from him, even if it means walking home from here.

I open the door ready to jump out and run as fast as I could possibly manage, but am violently pulled back into the cab, my back collides with a hard wall of muscle and the cab door is slammed shut.

_Damn! He was fast._

I struggle to free myself from his grasp. His arms lock around me making it impossible for me to escape.

I slump back against him and once he comes to the conclusion that I won't try to escape again, his vice-like grip loosens a little bit.

"Believe me Little Red, you're the last person I would ever ask to help me, but you're all we've got. You're our go-to girl."

His warmth was overwhelming me, the way he held me and the way he spoke, so firmly yet tenderly into my ear was making me feel things I hadn't in a while.

But his heat was unnatural, supernatural, he wasn't –fully- human. I had to get out of his embrace.

He swallows loudly then drops his head to my shoulder, one arm was still loosely wrapped around my waist whilst the other disappears behind his neck.

He sighs loudly and nuzzled me sort of like a dog, I roll my eyes at the irony and sit stone still, this is definitely one of the most strange situations I have ever found myself in.

"She knows your fucking name, Babe," he said sounds oddly defeated.

Being confused just didn't cut it anymore, try having no freaking clue!

I take a few deep breaths myself trying to steady my voice, "M-my name? Who is she?"

He pulls away from me and places me in my original seat, _was it me or did this cab all of a sudden feel really big?_

"She's just some vampire that keeps coming in through La Push trying to get to Forks, she's got red eyes, and wild orangey flame coloured hair, you know anything about her."

Flame coloured hair, wait... My throat constricts and my heart speeds up to an impossible pace as I tried to hold onto something, I managed to gasp out "V-Victoria..." before a full-blown panic attack overcomes me.

My heart feels like it's was about to beat out of my chest, but Paul seems to know what to do , getting me to focus on him, telling me everything was alright, that he would protect me, throwing in some random curses, some even directed at himself for telling me _everything _in the same night.

_Really!_

When I calm down a little he sits back behind the wheel but keeps a hold of my hand between us on the seat.

"So I'm guessing you know her then?" he states calmly, I turn to glare at him, but it's half-hearted, the truth is I'm terrified.

I take a deep breath and focus on the trees around us.

Eventually i give in and let the memories overtake me whilst I recount the Baseball game, James' coven and the chase to Phoenix.

He pulls his hand out of my grasp as I finish the story.

"Figures he'd make a shit load of problems, endanger an innocent girl, then up and leave us to deal with it." I appreciate him not saying the name.

"I'm coming home with you, we caught scent of the red-head, that's why Sam sent me to Port A to find you."

He looks me right in the eye then, "You're with us now Little Red, a Wolf-girl, you have help us catch her, we need to know anything. Even if you're sat in your kitchen one day and think of something, we need to know, you have no idea how important it is that we kill her."

I nod in ascent and then lean my head back against the head rest.

A soft warm bubbles in my chest and I can't explain the feeling, but I feel part of something, something bigger than just me sat in the kitchen all alone; part of The Wolves.

"Regardless of your ties to Leah, Sam feels like we have 'protect' you, you're our inside person and you _will_ help us. You're pack now." The last sentence seemed to be dragged out of him, but it rang with sincerity and I could feel a slight flutter in my chest, a feeling of belonging.

He doesn't wait for me to say anything in return before he starts the engine and continues on to Charlie's place.

~OE~

We jerk to a stop outside my house, but I've learnt my lesson, I hold onto the door handle tightly to stop myself from being thrown through the wind shield.

He cuts of the engine and silence fills the cab, I want to run inside, away from him and lock the door, but he still had my keys.

"You gonna invite me in, or should I kiss you goodnight here?" his snarky voice- now back to normal from the passionate and caring tone he used before- cuts through my plans of abandoning the key and making a run for it.

"I'm not your date." I answer with no emotion.

He ignores that and leans over to me. My back hits the passenger door and I jump from the shock.

He smirks- that annoying smirk that tells me he knows exactly what he was doing to me and enjoying it- "Let's go inside, Bella."

He pulls away, hops out of the truck then walks leisurely to the front door as if this situation didn't bother him in the slightest.

The fact that he'd told me Victoria was still out there, somewhere, searching for me has me scrambling after him.

He opens the front door and bows mockingly as I pass him, his upper lip lifts in a sneer. Seriously! We were in _my _house now!

I roll my eyes and gesture for him to follow me into the kitchen. He sits at the table, his boot-clad feet propped up on the table whilst he turns his body to face me.

I narrow my eyes at his feet, but decide to not even go there, i wasn't in the mood for his attitude.

Since leaving the Pizzeria, I'd completely lost my appetite, there were some left-over's in the fridge for Charlie later and I wasn't about to start feeding _him. _I'd read somewhere that wolves were creatures of habit, and I didn't want him thinking he was even remotely welcome here.

Instead I pull out the ingredients for a batch of brownies and get to work, putting the chocolate above a pan of boiling water and mixing up the rest of the ingredients.

Once I've melted the chocolate and added it to the rest, I slide the mixing bowl and spoon over towards him.

"Make yourself useful," I call over my shoulder whilst reaching for the dirty dishes.

~OE~

45 minutes later I pop the freshly baked brownies out of the oven and place them on a cooling rack- the kitchen smells delicious.

Paul reaches for one and I slap the back of his hand with the wooden spoon I am drying. "Wait till they cool a little."

He smirks, "Werewolf remember, can't burn."

I cringe at his usage of _that_ word but meet his eyes. "They taste better when they're warm; let them cool for a minute."

He nods and sits back at the table once again.

I sigh in relief at the small distance between us; I was only a little more comfortable with him being here.

Translation: if I had to choose between him or Victoria ... yeah.

"I'll, erm, pack some for you to take home with you, can't keep 'em all here in the kitchen or else Charlie will end up eating them all and I'm trying to get him to watch his diet"

I trail off and look up to find him watching me intently whilst I ramble on, embarrassed.

I reach for a storage container and started lifting the brownies carefully into the box.

"I'm sure Billy and Jacob will appreciate these." I lift a questioning brow, "Family night, yay!" he says with no enthusiasm at all.

I am momentarily confused, "But I thought Jake only had two sisters?"

"What? You don't think I'd look pretty in a dress, Little Red?" he put his hand over his heart in mock hurt, "you cut me deep!"

I roll my eyes at his antics, "you know that's not what I meant, Paul."

"Whatever," he says with a simple shrug.

His teasing attitude gives me the confidence to ask, "So, why do have a 'Family Night' with the Black's anyway?"

He look up at me, and sighs with impatience, "always asking questions 'bout stuff that's none of your business."

He tuts at me and I blush, he was right –never thought I'd say that – it _was _none of my business… but that didn't mean I wouldn't ask Jacob about it later!

In a sudden movement he cocks his head towards the back door, then stands and stretches, his stomach muscles becoming even tauter and defined through his shirt, his biceps bulging.

He catches me staring, chuckles and winks at me – Damn my white skin for giving me away!

"Well this has been nice, and remember, you can't tell anyone, not Leah or _Jacob, _nobody about us" his voice is dripping sarcasm, "I mean it Little Red, not a soul."

I nod reassuringly at him and he moves his cracks his neck, i cringe at the sound.

"Jared's outside now Babe, I best be going."

I raise a questioning brow at him and he grins at me, "Wolfy senses"

I blanch and he completely ignores me, grabbing the box of brownies before making his way to the front door. I don't bother walking him out.

~OE~

I just finish cleaning the kitchen when Charlie arrives home, I heat up some leftovers for him and sit down with a glass of milk myself.

He keeps glancing up at me throughout his meal, a questioning look on his face.

Finally I decide I've had enough, I huff, "What is it, Dad?"

He puts down his fork. Oh Jeez! This must be real important!

"How would you feel, if I told you I invited the Black's and the Clearwater's over for dinner tomorrow?" he says this slowly as if measuring my reaction and expecting the worst.

My brow furrows trying to figure out if there was some sort of double meaning in his words. "Sure Dad, that sounds great, did you have anything in mind that you wanted me to cook?"

He takes a long pull of his beer and levells his gaze at me, "anything you want Bells, but Sue's bringing dessert."

He picks up his fork once again and shovels in food at his usual pace- conversation over.

I pack everything away, finish my glass of milk and retreat up to my room.

Whilst getting dressed for bed, I reflect on everything that happened today.

I was friends with Leah, she hated Sam, always described him as this hateful person who was more likely to stand on your puppy than call your child cute.

Yet every time he was mentioned a feeling of security overcame me.

And he had sent Paul over to practically vow to me that I was under the 24-hour… _Pack _protection.

Whatever that meant.

I sigh and climb into bed.

How was I supposed to explain this to Leah without her hating me or spilling about the wolves, I'm pretty sure this went against some sort of girl-code rule, not that I was familiar with any of that crap.

And Jake, poor Jake, who hates Sam's gang with a passion, how can i possibly reassure him that they mean no harm without giving away the secret.

Wait, Jake told me that Sam was constantly around him and his friends, my heart sinks a little as realization come over me.

Eventually Jake would meet the same fate.

**Review if you like :)**


	5. Weakness

**A/N: Thank you for all the Reviews/Alerts, still squealing very loudly when I see them there.**

**Not Beta'd so any mistakes are my fault. **

**Disclaimer- See description**

**Thank to my Trusty Intern, she's like a King Size jar of Awesome Sauce.**

**(I can't believe I forgot to mention last week, Nikita, our Nephew was born on Mon 11****th**** Feb, we became Aunties, and we have to be responsible now… *coughs * Yeah… that's gonna be difficult *wink*)**

**Enjoy :)**

_21__st__ Nov_

I wake up to find two dark orbs staring down at me.

I rub my eyes and sit up slowly.

"What are you doing here?" I mentally wince, that sounded harsher than I intended.

"Good morning to you, too Sunshine!" she snorts, tossing her silky black hair over her shoulder.

I lower my hands, "Sorry Leah, how come you're here so early?"

She raises an eyebrow at me, "Well I was gonna help you cook, but I met your Dad when he was on his way out. Billy and Jake cancelled so we'll just meet on the weekend."

My brow furrows and I sit up, leaning against the head board.

"Why did they cancel? Is everything okay?" My heart speeds up slightly.

She shrugs, just a tiny lift of her right shoulder, "Billy was quite ill yesterday, they've been up at the hospital since last night, your Dad was gonna swing by on the way into work."

"Oh my gosh! We should go down and visit Lee."

Her head snaps to mine and her eyes narrow, I narrow my eyes trying to establish what I said to make her so upset.

I look away from her as I realize that the Hospital is the last place she would want to be, I blush from embarrassment.

"Sorry Lee, I didn't mean to bring it up..." I trail off as I realize she is still giving me that weird look.

She blinks a few times then clears her throat, "I can drive you down, Mom asked me to pick up some groceries and drop take them to the Black's anyway, I can pick you up when I'm done and we'll go down together."

I swallow and push my duvet off of me, the atmosphere in the room suddenly cold, "Sure, just let me take a quick shower."

~OE~

15 minutes later I take my usual seat in Leah's car and we make our way to Forks' Hospital.

She still hadn't said much, and her silence was starting to worry me.

I clear my throat as we approach a red light, "Leah, I'm sorry about before, I didn't mean to upset you..."

"You didn't." She cuts me off before I can finish apologizing.

"But..."

She sighs loudly, cutting me off once more, "You just took me by surprise when you called me _Lee," _she shrugs as if it's no big deal.

"Oh, I'm sorry," she rolls her eyes at me and we take off again, "Did your Dad call you that?"

She snorts as I continue to sit there confused, she shakes her head slightly, "Nope, Sam used to call me that."

She taps her thumb against the steering wheel repeatedly, "You just caught me off guard when you said it before is all." 

I look down at my lap in guilt, "I really am sorry Leah."

"Jesus Swan, I swear, if you say that one more time, I can't be held responsible for my actions."

My eyes widen as I stare at her, she glances at me sideways, "I forgive you."

I nod and shoot her a soft smile.

"Besides," she continues in a conversational tone, "He obviously doesn't use it anymore, so I think we can both agree that I have officially auctioned that name off to you."

She grins at me and I smile back at her, "You can call me that if you want, it's kinda nice to hear, makes me feel a little more normal." She winks at me and I chuckle softly.

"Thanks Lee," I say and she rolls her eyes, grinning herself.

"I swear you're more related to Seth than I am, you guys are exactly the same."

I frown a little not sure if that was supposed to be a compliment or not.

~OE~

She drops me off just outside the Hospital entrance and rolls down the window, "I'll be back in about a half hour to pick you up, and I'll text you when I'm outside, kay?"

I nod and make my way inside.

The receptionist gives me directions to Billy's room and I take the elevator up to his room.

I rap on the door and enter when instructed to.

Billy is resting on the bed, a drip connected to his left arm, looking weary and exhausted.

Jake is sat on the chair next to him on his right hand side, I walk towards them cautiously.

"Good Morning Billy," I lean down and hug him softly, he pats me lightly on the back, "How are you feeling."

He pouts then, " Oh I'm doing just fine, these Nurses though, they won't let me go home," he sniffs and I hold back a giggle at his expense.

Jake rolls his eyes at me and smiles grins, his eyes though hold a deep sadness.

I walk around the bed and make my way over to Jake, I sink into the chair next to his and put my arm round his shoulders, "Hey, " I whisper.

He removes my arm then throws his own around me, his right hand squeezing my waist; he clears his throat, "Hey."

We sit in silence for a few minutes, I lean my head on his shoulder, he in turn leans his head against mine.

Soon Billy's soft snores fill the room.

I clear my throat, breaking the silence between us, "How is he really doing, Jake?"

Jake sighs, his warm breath fanning my hair slightly, "Not good Bells, he makes jokes all the time about him being fine and all, but the truth is," he swallows, "He forgets to take his medicine all the time and doesn't care about his diet."

Jake sighs once again, "I don't know whether he does it on purpose or not, but I can't keep up with him."

He turns to face me fully, his arm falls from around me and his eyes glisten with tears that are sure to fall any second now.

He swallows thickly, his adams apple bobbing, "I'm just so tired Bells," he whispers brokenly and the tears trail down his cheeks then.

"Oh Jake," I coo and lean forward, wrapping my arms around his waist holding him tightly

I clear my throat,"You'll be okay," and for a reason I'm not quite sure of, I add, "I'm here now, I'll be there for you."

He sniffles and buries his head in the crook of my neck, taking deep breaths and trying to get himself back under control.

I rub his back gently, and he exhales against me then pulls back a little, I raise my right hand and wipe away the tears softly.

"You okay?" I ask, he sniffles again then takes another deep breath.

"Yeah, I'm okay," He wrinkles his nose in a cute manner and stares down at my shoulder, "I'm so sorry about that, I really am just so tired."

He touches my right shoulder, pokes at it with his finger, "It's kinda damp from my tears," he says sheepishly.

I roll my eyes at him and grin, "Well obviously Jake, gosh! I'm not wearing my Water-proof shoulder pads."

He busts out laughing, and I smile at him, glad to have made him feel better.

"Oh god! Bells, you're such a Dork!" He laughs again, unable to help himself and I mock glower at him.

Billy inhales sharply beside us; he must have heard us and woken up.

Jake quietens down beside me once more as Billy glances around taking in his surroundings, then slumps back into the bed.

"Welcome back, Dad," Jake says and Billy turns to us then rolls his eyes.

"I was hoping that me being in this hell hole was just a bad dream, "He pause for what I assume is dramatic effect," And then I woke up!"

Jake smiles wryly, "The Doc says you can go home tonight anyway, Dad," Billy doesn't respond, just mumbles under his breath, probably cursing the Hospital to death.

My cell phone vibrates in my pocket; I lift it out and see a Message from Leah.

_Hurry, I'm outside._

I clear my throat, "Leah and I are going over to your place now with some groceries," I turn to Billy, "She says, she hopes you feel better..." I trail off trying to come up with a good excuse, "She can't come in right now, she has the car running, but we'll see you at your place, I guess."

Billy nods, obviously not buying it, but staying silent, "I'll see you all tonight then, Oh and Bella," he gestures to the side table, "Do you mind taking them to the house with you, just saves us having to trail them around later."

"Yeah, sure," I lift the cards and stack them into a small pile, place the flowers on top and carry the Tupperware in my right hand.

I lean down and kiss his forehead, "Be good and listen to the nurses, you'll be out before you know it."

Billy grumbles to himself for a few seconds, "Sue, sure, Take care Bella."

I smile at the familiar saying and turn to Jake.

He stands and faces Billy, "You gonna be alright for 2 minutes Old Man, I'm gonna walk Bella out."

Billy smiles at us, his eyes twinkling, "You take your time Son, I'm fine," He winks at us and I blush furiously and quickly make my way outside, Jake follows, but not before sending a warning, "Dad..." to Billy.

He closes the room door behind him and glances at me, "Sorry about that, Bells, must be the meds. Got him all cooky in the head."

I smile and bumps my shoulder against him, "don't you mean cookier than usual,"

Jake laughs and I join in.

We ride the elevator to the reception and walk out the main door.

The slight breeze catches my hair and I turn to Jake just as he reaches up and pushes it behind my ear.

"Thanks for that, Bells, it's nice to know I've got someone there," His dark eyes look searchingly into mine and something inside me blooms.

I blush a little and say," S'alright Jake."

The sound of a car horn makes me jump and I turn towards the parking lot where Leah is parked waving at me frantically from behind the wheel.

I roll my eyes and face Jake once again, "I'm gonna go, I'll see you tonight."

He nods and leans down towards me, he moves closer and my breath hitches embarrassingly, I mentally cringe and then berate myself when his lips land on my cheek.

My eyelids flutter for a second and then he stands to his full height, smiles and walks back inside leaving me standing there gaping after him like a fool.

The sound of Leah's horn makes me jump again and I roll my eyes at myself before walking over to her car.

I open the passenger door and get in, Seth is in the back and he leans forward and kisses my left cheek, "'Sup Bella."

I turn whilst fastening my seat belt and smile softly at him, "Hey Seth, How are you?"

He shrugs, "I'm okay I guess." I smile at him once more then turn to the front.

"Ready?" Leah asks, I nod and she starts the car once again.

"Did you get everything you needed?"

She turns down the radio and nods, "Yeah, I met Mom and Seth in the drug store so I decided he could help with the groceries."

"You mean, you practically dragged me with you and then forced me to push the trolley, pack the bags and load the car." Seth glowers at her from his seat in the back.

I chuckle softly and Leah shrugs once more, "What kind of big sister would I be if I didn't inflict a little torture on you baby Bro?" She joins in with my quiet laughter.

"Bella doesn't treat me like that." Seth mumbles under his breath and it goes silent for a minute.

"Yes, I know you prefer Bella as a sister Sethy, I understand, she's MY favourite _sister_ too."

Seth and I gasp simultaneously and Seth cries, "Hey…" whilst I break out into more laughter.

Leah wipes a fake tear from under her eye and her shoulders shake slightly, "You had that one coming, Sethy."

"Don't call me that!" Seth crosses his arms over his chest and sits back in his seat, Leah and I share a glance and she rolls her eyes.

Her smile drops as she notices what I'm holding in my lap.

"They're from the hospital, Billy asked me to take them to his place."

She swallows and Seth is surprisingly quiet in the back.

She scowls at the box in my lap, "Muffins from Emily, no doubt."

I stare down at the Tupperware box in my lap and shrug, "I had no idea who it was from."

She looks unseeingly out the front of the car, "You didn't know B, its fine, and we should just throw them out the window."

My eyes widen and Seth pipes up from the back, "Leah…" he says in warning.

"What?" she glares at him in the rear view mirror. He shakes his head softly at her and she deflates slightly focusing all of her attention on driving and ignoring us.

An awkward silence fills the car then, I'm too afraid to break it.

We drive through La Push and pass the long stretch of First Beach.

Leah sighs loudly, "I don't know how to cook, B," she says in a defeated voice. "Emily tried to teach me time and time again, but she always started with the hard stuff and I could never keep up."

I clear my throat and turn towards her a little, "I could teach you some stuff, just the basics, if you wanted." I suggest carefully.

She snorts and I blush, embarrassed that I even bought it up.

"So Swan," she says, making it obvious that the conversation about the Muffins is well and truly over.

" Do tell me what happened last night."

My cheeks flush as I recall my violent outburst and Leah's eyes widen, obviously mistaking my red cheeks for something else.

She turns slightly in her seat and Seth looks up at her, "You should probably listen to your music Sethy, wouldn't want you to hear something you shouldn't."

She winks at him and he mock glares, pulls out his earphones and shoots me a sympathetic glance before popping them in and staring out the window.

Leah checks the road before turning her meddling grin on me, "Out with it Swan!"

"IslappedLauren," rushes out of me and she snorts.

"God Bella, can you at least try to talk properly, I hardly understood a word of that, it can't be that bad, besides, I'm a big girl, I know about this shit." I roll my eyes at her but she just grins.

"Spill it, Swan!"

I take another deep breath and steady myself.

"I slapped Lauren," I enunciate each word carefully, her face falls into one of shock before she flashes me an almost scary grin.

"Wow! I can't believe you slapped the skanky bitch! She's been getting on my last nerve lately and that's only with the bullshit I hear from you! Damn! I wish I would have gone with!"

I smile at her outburst and glance out the window, "Only you would be proud of something like that."

"Hell yeah, I'm proud!" I roll my eyes, then bite my lip nervously, "That's not all is it?" She questions me, giddy now, to know.

I bite my lip harder and finally she gives in and groans, "Come on Bella, then what happened."

"She went to attack me, lunge for me and someone held her back."

She nods encouragingly, "Yes, yes, who was it?"

I clear my throat, "Paul Lahote."

Her eyes tighten as she processes this and I gulp, preparing myself for her anger whilst silently re-living last night.

Paul's words, his demeanour and his touch flash in my mind and I blush, I turn away from her.

Her strong grasp falls to my shoulder and she turns me to face h, she levels her gaze at me.

"Did that Motherf-" I flinch and she rolls her eyes, "Mother_fudger_ do something to you?"

I gulp loudly.

"Oh sweetie, he did. Didn't he?"

My eyes widen at her angry tone and I stutter to reassure her but she holds a hand up in my face.

Nice.

"I swear to god, if he hurt you…" she trails of murderously and I have to admit I'm a little scared _for_ him. "I'll freakin' kill him, so tell me know, _what the freak happened?"_

"You done?" I ask her, my tone impatient.

"God Bells tell me before I explode on his ass and skin him alive. . ?" she breathes heavily, nostrils flared whilst she searches my eyes for answers.

I roll my eyes and she shoots me an exasperated look, "I'm fine Lee, he didn't touch me, he actually saved me from the wrath of Lauren."

She snorts, "Saved, my ass."

I give her a look and she rolls her eyes this time, "Come on Bella, he probably just did it 'cause he wants in your pants."

I blush and her eyes widen slightly.

~OE~

An hour later and we are sat in the Black's kitchen, Leah is now fully debriefed on the events of last night, minus the supernatural elements and I'm holding my breath waiting for her to say something.

"So let me get this straight, He just happens to be in the same Pizzeria as you, saves you from the wrath of the crazy blonde chic, drives you home, makes _Brownies _with you, then just casually leaves?"

I nod, "Yeah, that about sums it up."

I lean forward pick up the coffee pot and pour myself another cup.

Her mouth is still hanging open as she tries to formulate a response, "Wow! I mean, just wow."

I raise a brow at her and she re-fills her own cup, "I didn't think he was capable, but he has proved me wrong."

My forehead crinkles in confusion, "What do you mean, Lee?"

She stares down at her coffee, "Oh… it's nothing really…"

I huff and ask again, more menacingly, "What did you mean?"

She sighs and sits back in her chair, "I think that Paul Lahote is in _Like_ with you."

My eyes widen and I gasp, "No, that's not… I just… he was just _helping_ me," I of course, can't tell her the real reason Paul was with me last night.

"Annnd…" She continues in a sing-song voice, "I think you _like_ him!"

" ' .him. He is an insufferable, ginormous." I flutter my arms around trying to find a suitable NON-swearword to describe him,

"Asshole" Leah supplies and I glare at her.

"Nooo," I drag out the word to show my annoyance, "Jerk! Hah! Yes! He is an insufferable, ginormous jerk!"

We both giggle gleefully, and it's obvious that she's let me off the hook for now.

_Oh Leah, if only you knew!_

**Review if you like :)**


	6. Protecting

**A/N: Just wanted to apologise for the mis-hap a couple of days ago. It was confusing and I'm sorry, the chapter 5 that is posted here happened by itself and this chapter was supposed to be chapter 5 so yeah...I'm gonna post it after this so hopefully it will make sense and even make you laugh *fingers crossed***

**Anyway, Thank you for all the Reviews/Alerts, You guys are the Best!**

**Thanks to my Trusty Intern, *sobs* There are no words… *Hugs***

**Hope you all enjoy PAUL IN THIS Chapter, I know I did… *Wink***

**Enjoy :)**

_25__th__ Nov_

"Bells!"

I turn just in time to be engulfed in a bear hug from a –slightly taller than last time, and- extremely warm Jacob.

"Hey Jake." I sigh and bring my arms up around his slim waist.

We step back and he grins down at me, "Smells good Bells"

I roll my eyes, "You using me just to get fed, Black?" he laughs whole heartedly and I instantly relax with an easy smile.

He shrugs, making his way to the dining table, "You just _get_ me!"

I shake my head just as Billy –being pushed by Charlie- enters the kitchen. Charlie comes over to me and kisses my cheek, "Smells good in here, Bells!"

Jake and I exchange a look, "Yeah, yeah, just go take your place at the table, I know your game!"

He has the decency to look sheepish and goes to take his seat.

"Bella?" Billy's deep baritone fills the kitchen; I turn to face him, he looks much better than he did in the hospital a few days ago.

We had all agreed to push our get together to Thursday even though it was a school night.

I lean down and hug Billy firmly, "Hey, how are you?"

He nods and wheels himself over to the table, "Same old, same old, sweetheart."

Sue greets me next with a quick hug and sashays past sticking a still raw apple pie in the waiting hot oven.

Seth drapes his arm over my shoulders, pulls me close into the side of him and places a soft kiss on my cheek. He grabs the potatoes from my hands and walks toward the dining table.

I'm still waiting on the garlic bread and I'm too nervous to try and sit down, I feel like a prisoner in my own home, I mentally tell myself to just pull it together.

Charlie had called my cell from the station earlier when I was having lunch at school, apparently Billy had decided to bring a guest.

Since I found out Paul would be here I haven't been able to stop obsessing over him and trying to predict how he would act tonight in front of other people and most importantly my Dad.

I open the oven to check on the garlic bread: almost golden.

Damn.

I meet Leah's gaze from where she's sat, she winks at me then, gesturing to the oven, I roll my eyes, pull out the garlic bread carefully, slice it and place the plate on the table.

Leah pulls me down next to her and gives me a warning look before joining in with the playful banter.

~OE~

He walks in then, his tall broad figure filling up the door way.

He is wearing the usual cut-offs, a tight black tee and flip flops… no really.

I could feel my face heat up as he continues to make his way towards us; I hadn't even heard the front door close.

"Chief!" he says in greeting and shakes Charlie's hand firmly, plants a kiss on Sue's cheek then sits down heavily in the chair next to me.

Was the whole universe conspiring against me?!

Charlie is sat at the head of the table, Sue to his right, Billy opposite Charlie, Jake in the middle and Seth next to him.

Leah was facing Seth and I was sandwiched between her and Paul, at least Jake was sat in front of me and I wouldn't be forced into and impromptu game of 'Footsie'.

Soft but really hot lips press against my cheek, making me jump and jerk my face to the side facing him, he's not looking at me yet he's wearing THAT smirk.

_Jerk! _

As if he can sense my cursing him he leans in closer to me "Hey Little Red", he whispers it to me, his warm breath fanning over my face, seriously, was everyone on this table just oblivious to my torture.

A throat clearing pulled us out of … whatever the hell_ it_ is.

"Could you pass me the gravy please Bells?" Jake asks even though he isn't looking at me, he is glaring over at Paul, something close to pure hatred shining in his eyes.

_Oh God! _

I pass it over to him as the parents make light conversation; Seth is sat blissfully ignorant to my ordeal, wolfing down food so fast I'm afraid he might choke.

I feel a gentle stroke on my left elbow and jump slightly, turning to find Leah suggestively wiggling her eyebrows at me.

I roll my eyes and begin to relax, finally.

~OE~

The rest of dinner and desert is thankfully uneventful.

And we decide to retire to the den to watch a movie.

I'm settled on the largest couch wedged between Paul and Jacob.

Seth is seated next to Jake and Leah on the floor by my feet her back against the couch.

Sue and Charlie have taken the loveseat, I try to hold back the shudder that almost escapes me and Billy is parked next to Seth on our left.

Billy breaks the comfortable silence. "So, what are we watching?"

"Oh my god!" Seth exclaims from his place next to Jake - I swear that he's unable to have a conversation without saying that, "You have _Shrek! _Please, please, PLEASE can we watch it!?"

A series of groans echo throughout the room, including my own and Leah snorts, "That's Bull, we've seen it a million times Seth, and who said you get to choose anyway?" Seth puffs out his non-existent chest, " Well that's a no-brainer, I'm the most attractive here, so therefore, I get first pick!"

Charlie stands then and stares Seth down, "Son, quieten down before you hurt yourself!"

Pauls laugh vibrates through my own body as he slides down the couch getting more comfortable and rubbing his warm muscled thigh against my own.

I turn to glare at him but he just winks of course.

"Bells?" Charlie asks and I turn away from Paul to smile gratefully at him, "Yeah Dad?"

"It's your pick." I clear my throat and meet Leah's eyes, "Lee?"

"Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire." She answers almost on reflex in a terrible fake British accent sounding a lot like Dobby being strangled.

They pop in the movie and close the curtains making the room seem a little more like a movie theatre.

Not ten minutes in and of course Seth has something to say, "Oh my god Bella, don't you think that Cedric guy looks a lot like-" he's cut off with a smack to the back of his head, provided by Jake and a killer glare from Paul.

Charlie clears his throat and everyone relaxes once more, I stare at the screen seeing Seth's meaning and take a deep steadying breath. I close my eyes and lay my head back against the couch.

A heavy weight falls to my right thigh; I look down to find Paul's hand resting there. He squeezes encouragingly and I jump a little nudging Jake in the process, in turn his eyes immediately zone in on Pauls hand.

I roll my eyes with a sigh and sit back crossing my arms over my chest.

This was going to be a long night.

~OE~

I wasn't watching the movie, I'd seen it a million –exaggeration- times and right now, I wasn't feeling it.

Instead I found myself slouching deeper into the couch whilst listening to the backdrop of pouring rain the outdoors provided.

~OE~

I'm woken up by a rather large clap of thunder and am greeted with the sight of Seth clinging to Jake's arm for dear life, "Whoa man! Get off of me!" Jake says whilst shaking his arm, trying to throw Seth off.

A quick glance around the room tells me that the parents are officially down for the count.

It probably should bother me how sue has curled her body into my father's embrace, but I put that away for later.

Another clap of thunder rips through the air this time louder and before I know it I'm being pushed sideways into Paul as Seth hastily climbs onto Jacob's lap.

"Did you hear that?" Seth whisper-shouts.

"Dude! Get the hell off of me! Now!" Jake shoves Seth to the floor.

"Yeah Sethy, is there something you wanna tell us?" Paul chimes in casually draping his arm – warm, safe and secure – around my shoulders and pulls me into him… and away from Jacob.

I relax immediately.

Leah flaps her hands against my shins, "Guys," she drags out the words so it now had 15 syllables. "The cup's about to turn into a port key and Cedric's about to die, now would you please just let me watch my Baby die in peace?!"

I roll my eyes- since when was Leah attracted to Cedric- and settle further into Paul, awkwardly aware of the glares Jake is bot so covertly sending our way.

~OE~

Finally the dinner party was over.

Paul was the first to leave, shaking both Billy's and Charlie's hands, he then came into the kitchen where we kids had retreated.

Leah was helping me with the dishes, her drying whilst I washed and rinsed.

I follow him in the reflection of the kitchen window.

He nods at Jake and Seth, who are once again seated at the table textbooks open.

He then starts to make his way towards me.

I'm hyper-aware of his every movement and I realise I've washed the same plate five time already.

I hand it to Leah just as Paul ducks down and kisses her on the cheek and she whips around glaring at him, "Fuck you, Lahote."

He smirks, THAT smirk, "You wish, Baby."

He chuckles as Leah flips him the bird and struts to the opposite counter and starts spooning left overs into Tupperware.

He turns to face me then, all trace of playfulness gone, "Walk me out." He doesn't ask, just walks in to the hall way.

Leah meets my gaze and winks at me; I roll my eyes, put the dish rag down on the counter and walk towards him.

He's standing there, front door already open, he looks away towards the kitchen to make sure no one's listening then meets my gaze fully.

"Sam sent me," so that's the real reason why Billy invited him over tonight. I nod and then turn searching the trees outside.

"We scented and chased the Red-head to the border but the tree's started thinning so we had to phase back. She was headed to Forks. I called Billy and told him, he asked me over, said it would be our safest bet in keeping you safe and avoiding suspicion."

His warm hand lifts my chin, forcing me to meet his gaze, his thumb runs over the visible part of my bottom lip and he tugs slightly releasing it from where my teeth had been worrying it.

"Relax. Little Red, Sam and Jared are out there and E-…" he breaks of suddenly almost as if he choked on his own words, then swallows, his adams apple bobbing. "I'll be joining them right now."

I nod again and he opens the door wider stepping onto the porch, we share one last look before he turns and starts down the steps.

I step inside and am just about to close the door when he turns suddenly and makes his way towards me.

I frown at the grin on his face. He comes closer and leans in as I freeze.

I squeeze my eyes shut in anticipation, my hands fisted at my sides.

Warm breath fans the side of my face before warm, soft lips press against my cheek, I jump at the miss-placed contact. "Thanks for dinner Little Red, It was truly amazing, the best I've ever tasted."

I blush as he stands straight once more, winks at me then turns and jogs down the steps and disappears into the trees.

~OE~

The rest of the evening passes without incident, Sue and the kids leave first, Billy and Jake not shortly after.

Jake gives me a hug before he leaves, holding on slightly longer than appropriate, his eyes sad looking and I squeeze him harder in comfort.

I make my way back to the kitchen where Charlie is putting the leftovers into the fridge, I go to help him but he takes the container from my hands.

"Why don't you head on up to bed kiddo, I got this, 'sides you cooked all day long, it's the least I could do."

I smile and him and nod, I give him a hug "Night Dad."

"Night Bells, sweet dreams."

My smile widens as I make my way up the stairs.

~OE~

I'm woken up by the shrilling ring of my cell phone.

I press answer quickly when I see the caller ID and then listen to see if I can hear Charlie's snores.

I rub my eyes with one hand and put the phone to my ear, "Hello."

"Hey Bells," his voice sounds breathy and then I hear the slide of a door and he becomes louder, clearer, "You okay, honey?"

I clear my throat, sit up a little and flick on the lamp on my bed side table, "Yeah, I'm fine, you?" He'd been really quiet after dinner and at first I'd put it down to Paul's presence throughout the night, but I could tell it was something more than that.

He sighs, "I- just, it's nothing really, I mean…"

I echo his sigh, "Jake, if this is about Paul, then don't worry, Leah isn't so you shouldn't be either, it's fine, _I'm_ fine."

"That's part of it Bells," this comes out sort of hopeless and I wonder where he's going with this, "He has a reputation."

I roll my eyes, "Yes Jake, I'm quite aware, I've talked about it with Leah, I told you don't worry about me."

"No Bella!" Oh crap, he sounds kinda angry now, "He's a manwhore!"

I raise my eyebrows in surprise, clear my throat and put on my most levelled gaze – even though he couldn't see it.

I sigh and then shrug, "Well he is kinda attractive," I say trying to be reasonable.

Jake lets out something that sounds like an angry grunt, "Bells he's probably just using you," I go cold for a minute.

Jake has no idea that statement is true. I cough slightly then say quietly and as serious as I can muster, "It's not like that with me Paul and I, Jake."

I suddenly feel drained, the weight of the Tribes secrets weighing me down, all I want to do is hang up.

"Bells, something happened this past week." He sounds scared and once again my heart melts.

"Oh Jake! What's wrong?" it's quiet for a few seconds.

"Embry went missing about a week ago, then all of a sudden the next day, he'd cut his hair real short, got a tattoo and joined Sam's _thing." _He says this with so much disgust I recoil for a moment.

That must have been what Paul meant when he was choking on his words, maybe he wasn't allowed to tell me that.

I swallow past the truth, it's on the tip of my tongue to tell him about the Wolves, but I know it's not my secret to tell I

I've just been trusted with keeping it.

I clear my throat, "I'm sure he's fine Jake."

A frustrated sigh escapes him, "Bells you don't understand, Sam says he can't be friends with me anymore, that we can't hang out and every time I ask for a damn explanation Sam goes all 'You'll know soon enough' on me!"

My brow furrows at the worry in his voice, I need to find a way to comfort him.

"You know Jake; I never did thank Sam for finding me…" I cough, uncomfortable with the direction the conversation, but this needed to be said, "… that night, and I think I might head down there tomorrow, I can scope the area, you know, see if I can talk to him, see if he's alright."

"You'd do that for me," his voice is tight with emotion.

"Sure Jake, I'll call you tomorrow night, okay?"

He sighs once again, "Thanks Bells, I guess I should let you get some sleep, wouldn't want mission Check on Embry to fail 'cause your too tired or something like that."

I chuckle softly, "Mission Check on Embry?! Jake that's lame!" I laugh some more.

"Oh I'm sorry Bells, is that not 'Spy' enough for you? How 'bout Mission COE?"

"I prefer that much more Jake, it's perfect, Mission COE!" I smile and sink down further into my bed, "Night Jake."

He takes a breath, "Night Bells and Thanks."

I hang up.

I put my phone onto the table next to the bed turn on my side facing the window.

I had barely gotten off of the hook with Jake, I wanted so bad to tell him about the wolves but it wasn't mine to tell.

One thing was for sure though, I would go to Sam's tomorrow, partly to make sure Embry was okay, and partly for myself, and after all I never did actually thank Sam for saving me.

I close my eyes, and pull the comforter up to my chin.

Mission COE is a go.

~OE~

The click of my window shutting has me sitting up rapidly, tangled in the covers, my heart pounding out of my chest.

I go to scream as my eyes adjust to the bright sunlight filling my room, when a warm hand covers my mouth.

My eyes widen and I glance into the face of my attacker, then slump as I realise I have nothing to be afraid off.

Paul is leaning over me, his index finger on his slightly pouted lips.

I nod once and he takes his hand from my mouth.

I let out a deep breath and lean back against the head board, finally able to take in his appearance.

He's shirtless, his cut-off's hanging dangerously low on his hips the button still popped open, as if putting them on was an afterthought.

His chest is heaving and the visible parts of his body are smeared with dirt, dead leaves in his ruffled hair.

The scratches on his left arm catch my attention then and I lean up on my knees with a gasp.

At this height I'm still not taller than him, I come up to his chin but I ignore this and take his left hand in my right one softly, my eyes wide and my breathing frantic.

"Oh god! What happened to you, Paul?" I choke the words out, fear gripping my throat in a vice-like hold.

I meet his eyes and look between them desperate for answers.

He looks into my eyes deeply but isn't focusing on them, I can tell.

He takes a deep breath and lets it out through his nose.

"She got away." He states, his jaw clenches so tight, I'm surprised his teeth are still intact.

Confusion make my brow furrow before everything becomes clear, "You were chasing her?" I manage to gasp out.

In turn Paul's brow furrow and he pulls his hand out of mine, grasps my hips and pulls me forward into him.

His arms then slide down over my butt.

My eyes widen but I don't shirk him off, I figure he needs the contact now more than ever, I lean into him and relax myself a little.

My arms come up around his waist and I rub his lower back, still slick with sweat, I grimace but try to ignore it.

"Are you okay?" I ask quietly, my nose touching the base of his neck, I inhale slightly, he smells divine.

He nods against me; just a little tip of his head then swallows.

"Jared imprinted," his voice is raw with emotion, I have no idea what 'imprinted' means but I can tell he's not happy with it.

I pull back and gaze at him, his eyes are on me but dazed over, as if he hasn't come back to himself yet, my heart speeds up slightly even though I know he wouldn't hurt me.

"Paul?"

He shakes his head slowly then focuses on me.

"Hmm…" he says absent minded, lifting his right hand to gently stroke my cheek.

I blush and move further back, his hand falls away and he frowns, looking down, I reach up and pull the leave from his hair, his hand cups mine and he tugs it from my fingers, then closes his own around it, crushing it.

He meets my gaze and lets me go, I sit back on my feet and he sits on the window ledge, his fisted hands underneath him.

His eyes are harder now as they watch; he sniffs and turns away from me.

"Go back to sleep, Little Red," his voice is harsh and commanding and I suddenly feel cold.

I rearrange myself under the comforter again, facing away from him and pull my knees to my chest.

It's quiet for a few minutes, and then I hear a sigh behind me.

Suddenly the bed sinks next to me, I still refuse to turn.

I don't acknowledge when he starts to stroke my hair softly, or when he sits more fully on the bed, or when he starts to hum quietly.

And I certainly don't acknowledge the sweet kiss to my forehead, before he leaves, sliding my window down after him.

I swallow and clench my eyes shut tighter, this is too much.

Too much, too soon.

**Review if you like :)**

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	7. Protecting - Alternate Scene

**Alternate scene in chapter 5 (not actual part of story, can skip if you want.)**

**Just a thought that had me and Trusty Intern in fits of giggles as we were having lunch one day. I was quite disappointed when I got to writing it but I thought I'd share it with you guys non the less.**

**Enjoy :)**

**Leah POV**

_25__th__ Nov_

I blow my bangs out of my eyes and glance around, Charlie and Sue were down for the count and Billy was snoring lightly in his chair.

I look towards the screen again and sigh quietly, I couldn't deny Mom looked the most peaceful than I had seen her since Dad left us; even if she was falling for a … Cop.

I sigh and glance around the room, Bella was curled up in Paul's arms asleep, Jake was constantly glaring at them from the corner of his eye, and Seth was sat by their feet once more after his terrified outburst. I roll my eyes, he always had been afraid of thunderstorms.

The movie was getting good, nearing the end; Cedric and Harry were in a battle for the cup, the other two were nowhere to be found.

I sigh again and shake my head slightly.

Sometimes Seth could be incredibly stupid, what was he thinking, bringing up Edweirdo after a decent evening.

I swear, sometimes he just didn't use that tiny brain of his.

Another claps of thunder sounds throughout the room and Seth jumps again, circles his legs and holds on tightly, trying not to jump into Jake's lap again, I chuckle softly.

Paul stretches his arms up behind me, releasing Bella from his grip and glances down at. I narrow my eyes and he smirks.

_Bastard!_

Another clap of thunder rings throughout the room and all of a sudden Bella falls forward and onto the floor to my right.

Seth and I let out a simultaneous gasp and go to help her, Jake and Paul, reach down too.

She is completely oblivious, fast asleep, and now rolled onto her side, her head practically parked in Seth's lap.

I turn to the screen for a second, then double take and gasp.

"Oh my god, guys, look, it's _Voldemort_!"

All heads snap to the screen and a mumble of "oh my gods" and gasps can be heard before everyone sits back in their seats, eyes glued to the screen, Bella lay on the floor completely forgotten.

**Review if you like :)**


	8. Mission CoE

**A/N: Thank you for all the Reviews/Alerts, they make writing this so much easier :)**

**Not Beta'd, any mistakes are entirely my fault.**

**Thanks to my Trusty Intern aka Jake's Boy, sometimes the absolute crap that comes out of our mouths inspires me… *shrugs***

**P.s. Hope you enjoy the newest member to the story, let me know what you think!**

**Enjoy :)**

_26__th__ Nov_

I wake up early the next morning, doubting Mission CoE.

If Embry had _turned_ this past week then he could still be harmful and Sam might not let me see him anyway.

And even if I did go down there under the pretence of thanking Sam, what made me think I would get to see Embry alone and ask him about Jake and Quil.

Besides, the guys had been busy last night, Victoria had been leading them East till dawn, when Paul had come by my room.

I sigh at the thought of his name and look towards the window, still open a crack from where he had made his escape to patrol once again.

I roll onto my side, eyeing up the crack in the corner of my wardrobe, suck in a deep breath and release it shakily, my mind made up.

I would get out of bed; I would go down to La Push, complete Mission CoE and find out what I could about the chase last night.

I sink deeper into the covers, cocooning myself in the warmth.

I would get out of bed; I just needed 5 more minutes.

~OE~

I gingerly make my way down to the front door, stub my toe on the way of course, and open it.

"Hey," I say, out of breath from that tiny exercise.

Leah rolls her eyes at me, "Yeah, whatever. Now, care to explain to me what went down last night between you and the Ladies Man."

I blush and avoid her eyes as I step out onto the porch with her, "I have no idea what you're talking about."

I lock the front door, check it, and then make my way to her car.

She waits till I get, till I'm seat belted and secured before attacking me again.

"Come on, B, how stupid do you think I am?"

I raise both my brows and grin.

"Don't answer that."

I chuckle quietly and she mock scowls at me before turning serious, I sigh and turn to look out the window, a flash of grey in the trees beside me makes my heart rate increase.

It must be one of the wolves, but which one, I wonder.

"On a serious note though B, you guys looked pretty comfortable together, I thought you hated him? Are you _seeing_ him?"

My eyes widen and I blush, "Of course not Lee, you know he has a reputation," she snorts in disgust, "And I'm not that kind of girl, he was just being friendly is all."

I frown but turn away before she can see it.

We pass the 'Welcome to La Push' sign and I turn to her once again, "Thanks for doing this Lee; it means a lot to me."

"It's fine," she answers immediately, "S'not like I need directions to their house for my own usage, may as well 'em onto you."

I nod and leave it at that.

She shrugs again and stares straight ahead seeming nonchalant, but I can tell this bother's her.

We pass the Black's house and turn right. The roads become smaller and more winding, houses few and far between.

She turns right again, slows down, then stops completely.

She clears her throat, "That's their place, right up there."

She points to a small cabin style 2 storey house nestled in the trees.

"Thanks Lee, really, I mean it."

"S'alright," she sticks up her chin, "Just remember you don't have your own car, so if you need to hightail it outta there, call me."

I nod and open the door; I pause for a second, duck back in, lean over and give her a quick hug.

She freezes.

"Thanks Lee, you're the best!"

She rolls her eyes and pats my arms around her, "Yeah, yeah Swan, just get off of me."

I giggle and exit the car.

She rolls down the window, "Sheesh, you're worse than Seth."

She starts the car again and I give her one last wave before turning back to the house.

It's similar to Jake's, except the slap board is painted pale blue, the windows rimmed white, same as the porch swing positioned to the right of the front door.

I approach the three steps and take then carefully, standing on the wrap around porch doubting myself.

The wind chimes above my head whistle and my heart beat staggers.

_What was I thinking?_

I take a step back and take a deep breath; gosh they could probably hear me... I cringe at that thought, if Sam was home, he would literally be able to hear me.

I blush crimson and clear my throat.

I raise my hand and rap on the door, the door swings open and my eyes travel from the bare feet, to the cut-off short, past the painted on black tee, to the careful smile plastered on Sam's face.

I gulp loudly as I realise I don't know what to say.

I swallow and Sam's smile turns to a grin, his eyes sparkle, "You havin' fun out here, Bella?"

I immediately blush again, internally cursing myself for even thinking I could do this.

"I, erm..."

"Bella?"

I look up at him then, meeting his eyes fully. "Relax sweetheart, come on in."

My shoulders slump and I duck my head and move past him into the house.

"Sam, who is it?" a soft voice calls from further inside the house.

"It's just Bella, Honey," Sam calls out from behind me.

We enter the kitchen, where Emily is busy cooking, her back to us facing the cooker, humming to herself.

The kitchen is small and quaint, suiting her, with its soft eggshell coloured cupboards and counter tops, a big hearty cooker and oven take up the centre space along the back wall.

I take a discreet deep breath, feeling incredibly uneasy already.

A heavy warm hand falls on my left shoulder making me jump slightly and look up at Sam, he's smiling gently at me and I relax.

He nods over to the dining room table gesturing to Jared, whose shoulder are hunched over his open text books.

He looks up just as Sam says, "You remember Jared, don't you Bella?" I nod and smile over at him.

"Hey."

"Hey," he says in return, he looks exhausted, bags under his eyes and cheeks hollow.

Sam's arm comes up around my shoulders and he turns us towards Emily.

She faces us then, a bright smile lighting up one side of her face.

I smile cautiously at her in return; the woman who helped destroy Leah.

"This is Bella, Bella this is my Em." I can't help but smile at the utter adoration in his voice when he speaks her name and she rushes forward.

"How are you, Bella?" she says as she pulls me from under Sam's arm and into a hug, I return it with less vigour, simply being polite, we were in her house after all.

She pulls me back by the shoulders and I blush, "Yeah, I'm okay, you?"

She grins at me and pulls me over to the cooker with her.

Sam rolls his eyes and takes a seat at the table next to Jared.

"How do you like your eggs, Sweetie?"

I stand next to her awkwardly as she gets busy, cracking eggs into a large bowl and mixing them.

"I'm not really that hungry, I just came to talk to Sam," the man in question smiles over at us before continuing his hushed conversation with Jared.

"Nonsense! I'm sure you can manage a little breakfast and we can all talk at the table, Hun, besides, it's been a while since we had company."

I sigh under my breath, trying to work out on a scale of 1-10, how much I was betraying Leah.

Emily carries on bustling, adding the eggs to a pan, flipping pancakes and turning bacon over.

She turns to me again, "Do you drink coffee?"

I nod, realising that the only way to get what I wanted was to go through with this.

_I'm so sorry, Lee..._

She gestures to a pot on her right, "Could you take that and some mugs to the table please, Sweetie?"

I move to grab the pot and spy the cups on the washboard.

I place them on the table and go to make my way over to Emily; she stops me before I can.

"Take a seat Bella; I'm just about to plate up."

I nod and sit on the other side of Jared; he glances up and smiles at me.

"Here you go." Sam places a steaming mug of coffee in front of me and another next to Jared; he pushes the milk and sugar towards me.

"Thanks," I say and add plenty of milk and two spoons of sugar to my own before handing them to Jared.

Emily walks over then and hands us our plates, "Thank you."

She waves her hand at me, "It's no problem."

Jared picks up the syrup and squirts - a little more than normal - onto his pancakes, I share a look with Sam just as Jared offers it to me.

I smile and shake my head; he shrugs and hands it to Sam.

Emily sits next to Sam and tucks into her food; I pick up my knife and fork and start eating myself.

We eat in silence for a few minutes until Sam clears his throat, "So Bella, you wanted to speak to me?"

I nod and put down my knife and fork. I sit back in my chair- miss-matched from the others- and pull my left shoulder up to my ear.

_This would be so much easier without an audience._

"I, uh, never thanked you..." I trail off and clear my throat, "...for finding me that night," I whisper the last part.

Sam sips his coffee; Emily and Jared are silent, "Just doing my job, Sweetheart."

I blush and can't help but smile a little, Sam raises a brow at me and I shrug, "That sounds like something Charlie would say."

Sam nods in agreement, "Yeah that sounds like the good Chief."

I smile again and return my eyes to my plate, lifting my fork and poking at my pancakes.

"I just really wanted to thank you for that."

"Bella," Sam says this time sounding more authoritative, even Jared straightens up a little bit.

"You know what we are."

I furrow my brow in confusion.

"You were under harm from a Vampire; it was our job to protect you."

"But you didn't know about Victoria then."

Jared lets out a low growl and Emily sits back in her chair.

Sam's eyes never leave mine but his hand instinctively grasps Emily's, she seems to relax then.

I clear my throat, "Speaking of her, Paul told me you had a run with her last night."

Jared sniggers and Sam and Emily shoot him a look.

"You saw Paul last night?"

I blush, silently cursing myself, but answer, "Yeah, he came by my room, after, I think."

Sam just blinks, but Jared sits back in his chair, a smug grin on his face.

"Yeah we chased her till she hit the water; we couldn't go any further after that. Paul got in a few hits before that."

I flinch as I remember the scratches down his arm last night.

Emily stands up and pecks Sam on the lips, waves at Jared and turns to me, "Well, I'm going grocery shopping, will you walk me out, Sweetie?"

I nod and stand, we walk out of the kitchen and Jared calls out, "Don't forget the chocolate syrup!"

The sound of a smack and a "Hey!" follow shortly after.

We reach the front door and she turns to smile at me, I return it, nervous as to why she has bought me out here.

"I know what you think of me, Bella, and I just wanted to say, Thank You for giving me a chance."

I clear my throat and smile genuinely at her.

We hug and this time I mean it, somehow I just know that Leah being hurt was due to something out of her control.

She release me and smiles again, "Come around any time, Bella, Just remember that."

I nod and she makes her way out, I turn and take a deep breath, then return to the kitchen, taking my seat once again facing Sam.

He clears his throat and he and Jared share a look, "I best be off, gotta give Paul a break, he's been running pretty much all night."

My eyes widen and Sam shrugs, "He needed to run of the anger, release it somehow."

Jared snorts and Sam shoots him a look, "I want you to send him home when he wakes up, I think he's ready."

My heart speeds up at the direction of the conversation, I'm pretty sure the 'He' they are referring to is Embry.

Sam meets my eyes, "Embry phased about a week ago."

I nod and say, "Jake was telling me."

Sam leans forward on the table, more alert now, "Jake knows about us."

I shake my head at this misunderstanding, "No, he just said that Embry had gone missing, then came back and now they aren't speaking."

Sam nods, and sits back in his chair arms folded.

"He'll be joining us soon enough," Sam says with finality.

I sigh heavily and it's silent for a while.

Sam clears his throat and turns to Jared, "You should start on the dishes," Jared groans but rises reluctantly and make his way over to the sink, "There's a plate for Embry in the Microwave, make sure he eats before he leaves."

"Yes Boss." Jared says as he runs the water, Sam then stands and leans down and pats my head, I scrunch my eyes up and Sam grins.

"Take care, Bella, and come around, any time."

I smile, "Thanks Sam."

He nods and makes his way out.

I lift the remainder of the plates off of the table and make my way to the sink where Jared is moving at a snail's pace, I roll my eyes and tap him on the shoulder, "You want me to wash and you can dry?"

He grins at me widely, "Yes please!"

I take the dish rag from him and start with the mugs, he moves over to the Microwave and pushes a button and it starts whirring.

I turn and raise a questioning brow and Jared shrugs, "I can hear him waking up."

I nod and turn back to the sink.

I clear my throat, "How is he?"

Jared snorts, "Finally phased back last night-" he's cut off by a slam somewhere from up the hall, Jared sniggers, "Speak of the devil."

The kitchen door swings open.

I follow him in the kitchen window as he saunters through, wearing the trade mark cut-offs.

Jared chuckles, "Finally phase back then, huh Pup?"

Embry's head snaps up as a low growl rumbles in his chest, he's shaking violently and I hold my breath, he looks nothing like a 16 year old boy, more like a 25 year old man.

Jared moves to stand in front of me and I drop the dish I'm holding and turn too.

His jaw is clenched as he slowly breathes deeply trying to calm himself down.

"Easy..." Jared croons and Embry nods, his breathing returning to normal, the shaking stops altogether.

He looks at me then, his intense gaze locking with mine.

Jared clears his throat and Embry breaks our stare, I turn and pick up the abandoned dish and begin washing again.

"You hungry, kid?" Jared asks just as the Microwave beeps.

Embry grunts out something close to 'Yes' and walks towards me.

I can feel his warmth behind me.

He clears his throat but it doesn't help, his voice is still raspy, "Can I wash my hands?"

I nod and move aside without looking at him.

When he's done I move back into my place, in a lightening movement he leans down and places a swift kiss against my cheek.

I freeze and then the warmth disappears, Jared steps up beside me once again, a cocky smirk plastered on his face as he continues to dry the dishes with a cloth.

Embry mumbles something to Jared then leaves through the screen door, taking his breakfast with him.

~OE~

Jared tells me he's off to see his girlfriend, winks at me then leaves, I figure this is my best bet at having any time alone with Embry so I make my way out of the screen door and close it behind me.

He is sat on the top step, his back to me, shoulders hunched and his elbows resting on his knees.

His empty plate is placed to the right of him.

He lets out a heavy sigh and I move to sit next to him on his left.

I stare out at the semi-circle of trees in front of us, searching for a conversation starter.

Why did I even offer my services when I clearly have no idea how to talk to newly phased, over emotional, werewolves.

Embry decides to take the lead, "Jake sent you, didn't he?"

I clear my throat and blush, _was I really that obvious?_

"More like I offered my services."

He snorts and I run a hand through my hair, "H-how are you?"

He responds immediately, "I'm fine."

I roll my eyes, turn to face him and bring my left hand up to cup his face, turning his face towards me.

He reluctantly meets my eyes and I plaster a fake smile on my face, "Oh really!? That's great! Awesome!"

My smile drops and I level my gaze at him, "Now, how are you really doing?"

He swallows, his eyes moving from between both of mine at a fast pace, his adam's apple bobbing.

I release his face and stare outwards once again, beside me; he draws in a deep breath, releases it, then stands abruptly and starts making his way down the dirt path.

I freeze, watching his retreating figure as disappointment spreads throughout me.

Suddenly he stops and turns to face me; I sit up a little straighter, trying to seem indifferent.

He rolls his eyes and then turns half away, "You comin', or what?" and then he carries on walking.

I stand, dust of my behind, and hurry to catch up with him.

~OE~

We end up on some cliffs overlooking the ocean; we sit side by side, legs dangling over the edge.

He hadn't said much, just mumbling to himself every time I almost tripped or fell.

"So you're helping us out, huh?" Embry breaks the silence first.

I clear my throat, "I, uh, know her, Victoria, I mean."

He turns to face me then, a ghost of smile lighting up his face, "You know that makes you kinda Badass, Swan!"

I arch my eyebrow, "Kinda?! Oh Mr Call I think that makes me 100% Badass!"

He chuckles, "Yeah, yeah, and stupid, don't forget stupid!"

I mock scowl at him and he laughs once again.

I smile softly and stare out at the water, "Did you tell your Mom?"

His features harden, but then smooth into an impassive mask, "She knows nothing, think's Sam's running some gang, drugs or something and now I'm roped in somehow."

He sighs and looks down, "It breaks her heart every time I call her, telling her I won't be home, keeps threatening to call the cops and shit like that."

I was shocked at his honesty, but then again, I was probably the first person to sit with him and just talk to him.

"Well that sucks," the words are out before I can stop them and I'm shocked at my own behaviour.

Embry freezes for a moment and I hold my breath.

To my surprise he cracks a grin, shaking his head at me and I blush furiously, "Embry, I'm so, so sorry, that wasn't supposed to happen..."

He cuts me off by throwing his arm around my shoulders and pulling me into his side, "Don't worry about it Sweetheart, you kind of just made my day, and for that..." he trails off dramatically and I breathe a sigh of relief, "You Miss Swan, have earned yourself a Gold Star!"

He chuckles again and I smile gently at him.

He shakes his head and meets my eyes, "I'm not really ready to go home anyway."

My brow furrows, "I thought you said she was mad that you weren't coming home?"

He shrugs, "I'm mad at her."

"Why, she probably just wants to know that you're okay."

He shakes his head and faces me properly, propping one leg up between us, "Bella, I shouldn't be here."

My eyes widen, "Shall we go back to Sam's place then."

He rolls his eyes and snorts, "Not unless you wanna get an earful of their... Lovemaking..."

I blush and he chuckles at my reaction, "I meant that I shouldn't be here in this situation."

"Oh," I say, even though I'm still confused.

"My Mom was 15 when she had me," my eyes widen slightly, "She came here from the Makah Rez, 7 months gone, the Tribe handled it, gave her a place to stay, but she wouldn't tell anyone who my father is."

I frown and swallow, "The Tribe still had their suspicions, 'Course, me phasing washed away any doubts that my father wasn't Quileute."

He trails off and everything falls into place, "So why won't she just tell you."

He looks up at me, "To turn you have to have the gene."

I lift my head in acknowledgment, "Oh, so is it a Tribe thing, the reason she won't tell you, are they being proud cause you're from a different Rez?"

He shakes his head, "Mom was 15 when she had me, my Father at the time was married and besides it would have been, you know, weird, I mean the guy was probably way over legal with a family of his own and my Mom wasn't legal at the time, the whole thing is messed up."

I cringe at that thought. Embry continues, "There are only three men who were present at the time that could be my father, everyone kinda just agreed to say it was Sam's dad 'cause he walked out on his family, a real deadbeat he was."

I clear my throat and look down at my lap, feeling -not pity- but something _more_ for him in this moment. I wanted him safe, just like I did with Seth.

"Who are the other two?"

He huffs out a sarcastic laugh, "Billy and Quil's Dad."

I gasp and he glances at me, "Yeah, I know," he shakes his head and I move to grasp his hand between both of mine and hold it in my lap.

He swallows loudly and his shoulders hunch further, I squeeze his hand encouragingly.

"Mom keeps on asking why I want to know after all these years," he meets my eyes, "I can't tell her I phased, then she would be forced to tell who my Father is, it would cause so many problems and I think after all this she just wants to forget."

"You just want to protect her."

He nods, "It would break her to have to go through that, not to mention it may force families apart, Mom's not like that, she doesn't want that."

I swallow and lean my head on his shoulder, he in turn leans his against mine.

It's silent for a few minutes, only the sound of the waves crashing beneath us filling the air along with the odd call of a passing bird.

Embry's stomach breaks the silence between us as it growls loudly.

Embry sniffs out a laugh; I lift my head and meet his eyes, "One of the perks of being a werewolf. High metabolism means we're always hungry."

I nod and he stands and helps me up, moves towards me and reaches round to dust of my behind.

I jump back in surprise nut he just winks at me, "I got that one from Paul."

My jaw drops as I watch his retreating figure; he stops and turns to me, "Close your mouth, Swan, before you catch flies."

My mouth snaps shut and I scowl before hurrying to catch up with him.

~OE~

We trail up a tiny road in La Push, one I have never visited before, "Where are we going?" I ask, slightly out of breathe from matching each of his long strides with three of my own.

Embry gives me a sideways glance and clears his throat, "To my place, Sam said I could come home today, it's been a week," he shrugs and I nod turning my attention forward once more and walk on.

I turn slightly and realise Embry isn't next to me, I turn back fully to find him walking up a garden path, muttering to himself and shaking his head.

I blush and hurry to follow him up the path.

I make my way towards the faded brown clap board house, two storeys high, with two lines of flowers lining the wrap around porch.

We stand on the porch together, he searches his pockets for a key presumably and comes up empty, he curses to himself and I cringe at his language.

He gives up and knocks at the door.

"It's open!" A woman hollers from inside.

Embry scowls at the door and turns- indeed open –handle and enters then moves aside to let me in.

The inside of his house is open plan and a little larger than most I have visited in La Push, it's clean but definitely look lived in, the open living room leads to a kitchen and dining area over to the right, and the stair case is over to the right.

Embry heads straight for the kitchen and I follow him, unsure if what to do.

He pokes around in the fridge for a few minutes and I linger near the counter top, one hand resting on top as footsteps approach us.

A woman walks in then, her black hair is short and sharp against her shoulders, her grey dress suit fits her slim figure fully, she's fixes her watch then glances up, almond shaped eyes assessing the scene before her.

She meets my eyes and smiles tightly at me, I return it, blushing too; she is obviously Embry's Mom.

She clears her throat, and Embry finally turn to face her, his arms full of suitable sandwich stuff.

"Em, You're home," she states.

He walks towards me and places the ingredients down on the counter I am leaning on, he nods in her direction, "Yup!"

He turns once more and walks over to the bread bin, retrieving half a loaf of bread.

His Mom's eyes land on me again, "Who's this?"

Embry turns to meet her gaze fully and he returns to my side, "She's Bella Swan, the Chief's daughter, a friend of Jake."

His Mom turns towards me, a warmer smile gracing her pretty features, "Hi, I'm Andrea, Embry's mother."

I reach out and shake her hand when she offers it to me, "Nice to meet you."

She nods and walks over to Embry's other side, whispers something to him, before shooting me another smile and leaving through the front door.

Embry lets out a deep breath and I turn to face him, "You okay, Em?"

He glances at me out of the corner of his eye and nods, "Why don't you go see what's on TV."

"Okay," I say and wander to the sitting area, turn on the TV and surf the channels.

I settle on some movie about singing chipmunks.

I sink into the couch just as Embry joins me, a plate full of varied sandwiches in one hand and two smaller plates in the other.

He laughs at my choice of movie and settles next to me offering the sandwiches; I take a ham and cheese.

I'm about to take a bite when a loud wail rips through the air, it's followed by a series of louder cries and staggered breaths.

I turn to Embry, my brow crinkles in confusion, he's also frozen.

He swallows the food in his mouth, out down his sandwich and turns towards the stairs, "I'll be right back."

I nod, still in shock as the cries continue and take a bite out of my sandwich, just for something to do.

He takes the stairs and I hear him crooning for a few minutes, then the cries stop altogether.

He descends the stairs slowly, a tiny pink bundle cradled and comforted in his giant arms.

I almost swoon.

Embry sits down next to me again and sits the tot up in his lap, facing me.

He smiles at me, "This is Mia, my little sister."

She's beautiful; looking almost exactly like Andrea, except the soft hair on her head is a deep brown colour.

I smile at him and reach out to take her tiny hand in mine, she follows my every movement with her almond shaped eyes, as soon as our skin makes contact she starts bawling again.

I immediately pull my hand back, embarrassed as I have no idea how to entertain or look after children.

Embry laughs as he bounces her slightly on his knee, when she quietens down for a second time he looks over at me, "Can you hold her for a minute?"

He doesn't wait for an answer, just places her in my arms and heads towards the kitchen.

Mia stares up at me, she wobbles and I catch her by the waist, my heart rate increases as I try to balance her in my lap.

She lifts a hand and pops her index finger into her mouth, I smile down at her and with the same hand, she touches my lip.

I wrinkle my nose and move back out of her reach, then hold her up so she's standing in my lap with my support.

Her left hand reaches up once again and this time touches my cheek and grins at me, flashing me the only two teeth at the top of her mouth.

I chuckle and she seems to acknowledge the happy sound and giggles herself.

Then, without warning, she pushes her tiny hand into my hair and yanks.

I let out a yelp at her tight grasp and she giggles again, my grip on her loosens and she falls on her butt in my lap once again.

I bounce her a few times but she attempts to stand, so I help her up, she grasps my shoulders in either of her hands and falls towards me, her head resting on my left shoulder.

I close my eyes and smile softly to myself, breathing in her beautiful baby smell. Mia nuzzles my neck and I feel her tiny nose bump my collar.

I open my eyes and hold her tighter, an overwhelming sense of peace coming over me, a feeling I have never experienced before.

Embry plops down on the couch, this time armed with a half full baby bottle.

The corner of his mouth turns up as his eyes appraise us softly, "I think she likes you," he states then reaches up and caresses her dark head with his large hand.

I smirk over at him as I feel her flexing her lips against my collar bone, she bounces on her toes a little, "What's not to like?"

We both laugh and I sigh, "You didn't tell me you had a sister."

He shrugs, "I thought it'd be a surprise."

I snort and he shrugs once more, "Mom started dating this guy about a year ago, they said they were gonna try for a baby and here we have it."

I nod, "So he lives here with you."

"Yeah, pretty much," he holds out the bottle to me, "You wanna feed her?"

I gulp, "I really don't know how..." I trail off and he smiles.

"It's cool, just hold her like this," he helps re-position her so I'm supporting Mia with my left hand and she's half lying in my lap, "there we go. Now hold the bottle to her lips with you right hand and she should just take it."

I do as he says and Mia immediately starts drinking from the bottle, she kicks her legs a little and her arms reach up, I panic as she wobbles but Embry places a firm hand under her, holding her to me.

"She'll probably try to grab the bottle from you so just be careful." I nod and take a deep breath, tightening my grasp around her more confidently.

I rock absent-mindedly from side to side at a slow pace, watching, completely mesmerised as her eyes close yet she continues sucking.

Once Embry is confident that I can handle it, he reaches for the remote and channel surfs, settling on a marathon of The Big Bang Theory; I don't complain.

Embry picks up his plate and continues eating, we sit comfortably in silence for a few minutes.

I clear my throat, "So, did Sam really say that you can't be friends with Jake and Quil anymore?"

Embry nods, "But not for the reason they think, I wasn't stable when I first phased, I could have harmed them, this is the first time I've been home since."

It makes sense now, "Jake asked me to come here today, he's worried about you."

Mia moans in my arms a little and I continue my rocking motion.

"I don't know what you should tell him, obviously you can't say anything about the wolves, it's just safer this way."

I nod, then a thought comes to me, "Wait didn't you say before that Quil and Jakes' dad both have the gene?"

He swallows and looks down, "Yeah, they'll be joining us soon, as long as this Vamp is still out there, kids are gonna keep phasing."

My heart sinks as I think of how cruel it is that Jake's future is already planned for him, yet he's forbidden from knowing.

I make the irrational decision to be there for him, regardless of what Sam might consider dangerous.

I clear my throat, "How exactly do you phase, I mean, is there a ritual or something."

It's quiet for a minute, then Embry busts out laughing, his shoulders shaking, "Man, those stereotypes got you, huh?"

I blush and look down, "I just... I wasn't thinking is all."

He chuckles once more then turns serious, "It's nothing like that, at first, I felt this intense pain and burning, then I felt like I'd exploded, and when I looked down, I was the wolf."

"So it just happens, like spontaneously," my brow furrows, I'm having a hard time picturing this.

He shrugs, "It's more like something triggers it off, usually anger or hurt."

I lift my head in understanding, "Oh..."

He grimaces, "Yeah..."

Mia pulls away from her bottle and sputters a little, "Lift her into sitting and wind her now Bella," Embry commands and I do as he says.

When she's settled back in my arms, Embry hands me a pacifier, I place it near her lips and she opens her mouth to take it, falling back asleep.

I take a deep breath, "So basically, I should just tell Jake that, you're okay, you want and you'll talk to him when you are ready. Also, that this isn't Sam's fault, it's just something out of your control."

Embry nods sadly, "That should keep them away for a while, it'll make it easier."

"You miss them," I state, I don't need to ask that question, it's written all over his face.

"Yeah, we're best friends, especially Jake, we're like brothers."

Something about the way he says this catches my attention, I ask him tentatively, "You wish he was your brother, that Billy is your dad?"

He quiet for a minute but I can tell he's not mad.

He looks up at me, sorrow deep in his eyes and I gulp feeling a lump form in my throat, "Billy's great, he's pretty much the father figure for all of us, Sam, Paul, Jake, Me..." he trails and swallows, his adam's apple bobbing.

"He's great, and sometimes I envy their relationship, I wish..." he doesn't finish his sentence, but I already know what he wishes; that Billy was his father.

He picks up Mia's empty bottle from the table and spins it between his hands.

"I don't like feeling abandoned, I'm worried Mom will want her perfect family and she'll move away with Chris," he looks up at me, tears swimming in his eyes, "I can't ever leave the Rez, Bella."

My eyes widen and with my free hand I reach out and take his, squeezing it comfortingly as best I can, "Why can't you leave?"

The tears fall and he sniffles, my heart breaks for him and I feel my own tears building, I wanted to hug him so bad in this moment.

He wipes at his face with his free hand, "As long as we're phasing, we have to stay here, it's tribe tradition."

My brow furrows and I mentally curse the person who came up with that one, "But, what about college?"

He snort, another tear falls onto his cheek, I let go of his hand and wipe it then cup his cheek, "We won't be able to go Bella, it's a fact."

"But what about in a few years, when all the vampires are gone?"

He shakes his head, "Most of us will probably end up dropping out of school, it's been a week and already I'm falling behind, nobody will take a drop out."

We're quiet for a moment and I try to digest this information, "Paul got straight A's in his finals, applied to college and even got accepted, he wanted out of here so bad, then he phased, the Tribe Elder's forced him to give it up."

I gasp at this information; _poor Paul..._

He takes a deep breath and let's it out slowly, gaining composure once more, he gestures to my arms and I hold out Mia carefully for him to take.

He lifts her in his large hands and cradles her against his chest.

_Something about seeing a big man holding a baby._

This time I swoon a little.

~OE~

I make my way over to the Clearwater's on foot, it's not far from Embry's house and he couldn't leave Mia alone to walk me anyway.

After finishing my sandwiches, reassuring Embry that he could talk to me any time and leaving him my cell number, and having one last cuddle with Mia, I said had said my goodbyes and left.

Leah's car is in the drive so I walk up the three stairs and knock on the door.

Sue answers a bright smile on her face, I smile in return, glad she seemed to be getting on with life.

"Hey Sweetie, you okay?"

She steps aside to let me in and I stop at the bottom of the stair, "Yeah, Leah gave me a ride down here and I don't have the truck, I was just wondering if she could take me home."

Sue nods, "Of course, head on up, she's in her room."

I smile at her once more the take the stairs and approach her door.

I knock and it swings open, she reaches one hand out, grabs the front of my shirt and pulls me into her room, before slamming the door shut.

She turns to face me, "What happened?!"

I shrug and walk over to her bed, "We ate breakfast, then I went to Embry's place and met his little sister."

Her jaw drops, "That's it?! That's all you have to say?! You visited my ex-boyfriend, had breakfast with him and his _fiancé _and then tell me nothing?!"

I pull my shoulder up to my chin, "I just wanted to know why Embry had been all weird this week, I met him, he's fine."

She nods, deep in thought and not really listening to me, I can see the cogs turning in her head but I ignore it, I know I can't tell her the truth.

She quiet for a while, then a soft smile graces her face, one I rarely see, "Embry's sister, Mia, she's the cutest thing ever isn't she?"

I smile too, "Yeah, she's adorable, except when she's pulling your hair out."

Leah chuckles, "Yeah, that's not cool."

I meet her eyes, "Have you met her?"

Leah nods, "Yeah, Mom works at the clinic, but her and Andrea are friends, she brings Mia over sometimes."

She wrinkles her nose, "She's cute, but then she goes home at the end of the day so..." she shrugs, "I don't think I'd be able to handle it if she was my own."

My eyes widen, "You mean you don't want kids?!"

She shrugs, "Nope."

I nod and pick at a thread on her comforter, each to their own I suppose, "can you drive me home, Lee, I still need to cook something for Charlie."

She nods and picks up her keys of her dresser.

We pass Seth on the stairs, making his way up, "Hi Seth, Bye Seth."

He chuckles, Leah calls out to Sue, "Mom I'll be back in twenty, if I'm not, send out the search team."

I roll my eyes and we exit her house, make our way over to the car and get in.

As she drives, I feel someone watching me, their eyes moving with the pace of the car.

~OE~

After Leah and I say our goodbyes, I head inside, turn on the usual lights and get to warming some leftover's up from the dinner the night before, I leave them in the Microwave and head for the bathroom.

I wash up quickly and make my way to my room, I clear my bed, throwing random clothes in the hamper and climb under the comforter.

I reach for my cell phone of the bedside table and scroll through the names, find 'Jake' and hit the call button.

He picks up after a few short rings, "Uh... Hello."

I smile at how adorable he sounds, "So…" I drag out the word, so it now has 10 syllables, "Mission COE?"

There's a long pause on the other side, and some shuffling, "Oh yeah, he clears his throat, "How'd that go, Bells?"

I sit up straighter and sigh, trying to find a harmless way to say this, "He's feeling much better."

Jake sighs in return, "Come on Bells, he's my best friend, I want the truth."

I nod even though he can't see it, "He's honestly fine Jake, he's..." I trail off , "He's hurt to that he can't talk to you guys, but he said to tell you it's not Sam's fault, Sam's helping him."

I decide to carry on and ignore Jake's sarcastic snort.

"It's because of something out of his control, he didn't really say much more, we watched TV, ate something and I met Mia."

Jake sighs, "She's the best, isn't she?"

I smile, "Yeah, she is."

"And, he didn't say anything about me or Quil?"

I internally groan and fall sideways, landing on my side, "He just said he'd talk to you when he feels ready."

Jake scoffs, "He's acting like a Douche."

I gasp at the word and Jake chuckles, I narrow my eyes even though he can't see me, "Goodnight, Jacob Black."

"Night Bells, You're the best."

I sigh dramatically, "If I had a dollar, for all the times I've heard that."

He chuckles, "Thanks again, Night."

I sigh, "Night," and hang up.

I place my cell phone on the night stand and swing my legs over the bed and place my feet on the floor and face the window.

"Well that was just too sweet!"

I jump and my hand covers my mouth.

Paul is stood there, dressed in the usual, one bare foot propped up against the wall next to the open window.

I drop my hand, "What are you doing here?!"

He completely ignores my question and pushes of the wall with his foot.

"Tut, tut..."

I raise a brow at him and sit back at the foot of the bed; he moves and sits next to me, "I'm disappointed in you Little Red."

I frown in confusion, "Why's that?"

"You were in La Push all day and didn't even bother to come see me," he sighs dramatically and throws his right arm around my shoulders, pulling me into him, "I'm really hurt."

I scoff and try to shake his muscular arm off of me to no avail; I huff and cross my arms, throwing my left leg over my right one, "Sure you are."

He nods solemnly and leans towards me, "I think you should make it up to me."

My heart speeds up to an impossible level, but I raise both brows in his direction, "Oh really?"

"Mm-hmm…" he trails off seeming happy that I'm playing along.

"And just what did you have in mind, Dearest Paul?" I say in the most saccharine sweet voice I can manage.

He drops his arm from around me, faces me more fully and leans in closer, "Lay with me," he says in a husky whisper.

A squeak escapes me and I immediately move of the bed, I turn to glare at him and he's sat there, shoulders shaking with silent laughter.

"You think that was funny?" I ask, outraged, but more embarrassed by my reaction to him.

He chuckles once more, "Yeah, from where I was sat anyway, it was hilarious."

I glower and cross my arms, "What do you want?" I snap eager to get rid of him.

"Victoria strikes again," I blanch at his casual mention of her, he spreads his arms open, "I'm here to save the day once again, Little Red."

My brow furrows, "Sam and Jared are out alone."

He shakes his head, "I got _wounded _yesterday, so I get to stay and babysit, Embry's out with them."

I lift my head in understanding, "So can't you, like, wait outside or something, I really want to get some sleep, it's been a long day."

His eyes widen at my dismissal then immediately after his smooth mask is back in place, he shrugs, "Fine, I just figured I'd say goodnight, it's kinda boring out there."

I move over to my bed and roll my eyes, there was no way I was gonna invite him to stay; besides Charlie would be home soon.

I climb under the cover and sink down on my back, "Goodnight Paul."

He stand and stretches, I watch as the muscles in his back contract deliciously, my cheeks flame and I turn on my side facing the window, "Night Little Red."

He leaves through the window, again, taking his time and glancing back at me several times but I don't cave in.

I smile as the window slowly slides shut and his figure disappears.

1 point for Team Swan.

**Review if you Like :)**


	9. Talking

**A/N: Thank you for all the Reviews/Alerts, I tried to reply to you all but my email broke and it's not really an excuse but…**

**Thank you to Jake's Boy, I'd be nothing without her… *sniffles* … *coughs***

**Not Beta'd, so any mistakes are my fault.**

**This is a short chapter, but necessary, I promise next week I'll make it up to you, *wink***

**P.s. Again, enjoy Paul in this chapter, we get to see a different side to him… *puts hand on heart* **

**Enjoy :)**

_1__st__ Dec_

I make my way downstairs whilst fixing my dressing gown.

I smooth back my hair and glance quickly in the hall mirror, before making my way to the front door, unlocking the main lock and then the [Extra Precautious] inside lock.

_Yeah, I'd rolled my eyes when Charlie had had that installed, too._

I swing open the door to reveal Charlie, smiling sheepishly, his cheeks tinged slightly red, standing there with his keys in his right hand.

I raise my brow questioningly, funny how our roles seemed to have switched.

He shuffles his feet for a second, so I decide to play along and cross my arms over my chest, leaning sideways into the door frame.

"I… uh…" he trails of awkwardly and I level my gaze at him, taking full advantage of the situation.

Charlie lifts his left hand and scratches the back of his neck, "You, um, probably engaged the inside lock last night, which is why I couldn't get in and had to call for you by throwing small rocks at your window, which didn't set off the alarm, why was the alarm not set, Bells?" he finishes his ramble with his hands poised on his hips.

I drop my arms by my sides, "Don't try to turn this back on me!"

I turn, making my way to the kitchen and call over my shoulder, "I want you showered and seated at the kitchen table in 20 Chief, now get to it!"

The front door shuts behind me, and I hear his booted feet stomp up the stairs.

I pull out various pots and pans, making more noise than usual, trying to drown out my giggles.

~OE~

Twenty minutes later, I place a plate of pancakes and bacon in front of Charlie but purposefully leave the syrup on the counter behind the microwave.

I take the two mugs over to the table and place them down, sliding Charlie's coffee towards him and holding my tea in both hands, sitting before him.

I pull my plate towards me, pick up my knife and fork and start eating.

Slowly, with calculated movements Charlie does the same, "We out of syrup, Bells?"

I put down my utensils and meet his gaze, "So, you stayed at the Clearwater's last night?"

Charlie clears his throat and pushes his plate away slightly, "It's not like that Bells, Sue and I stayed up talking quite late so I crashed on their couch."

I lean back in my chair, feeling guilty for making him explain himself, "Dad, I was just playing around."

He huffs out a laugh and then carries on eating, "For a second there I thought you were for real, I thought you were gonna ground me,"

His shoulders shake with silent laughter; I roll my eyes and retrieve the syrup, sit back down and slide it over to him.

He smiles softly as he takes it, "Thanks, Bells," I start eating my own again but remind him, "Not too much Dad," he huffs but carries in eating.

We eat in silence for a few minutes; Charlie picks up the paper and takes a sip of his coffee.

He puts his cup down with more force than usual, throws the paper to the right of him and leans back, sighing heavily.

I try to meet his eyes but he avoids me, bringing his left hand up to rub his forehead.

"Dad, you okay?"

He finally meets my eyes, "Another one went missing, Bells."

My brow furrows in confusion, "What do you mean, Dad?"

Charlie picks up his coffee again, "Hiker's been going missing for the past month or so, at first we thought they was animal attacks, but the bodies…" he trails of and finishes his coffee.

Cold fear runs through me and my heart speeds up, "What about the bodies?"

Charlie shakes his head then sighs and leans forward, "You gonna pass out on me, Bells."

I shake my head and take a deep breath to try and steady myself, "I'm fine, what did you mean about the bodies?"

"Nothing, Bells, it's just, well…" he trails off and I school my expression, not giving away an inch of my internal panic.

I clear my throat, "What do you think it is?"

Charlie's brow furrows, his worry lines becoming more prominent, "We're going with the wild animal theory, keep people outta the woods, other than that; I'd say we're just as clueless as a two-year old with crossword puzzle."

I smile softly at him, my mind calculating the fastest way to contact Sam, "I hope you find something soon Dad."

He picks up his dishes, walk over to the sink and places them inside, "I hope so too sweetheart, I hope so too," he leans down and kisses my forehead before walking out of the kitchen and front door to where his cruiser is waiting.

I take my own dishes to the sink and start washing them methodologically, one by one, as I hear the cruiser start up and the sound of the engine fades.

When I'm done I dry my hands on the dish rag, run up stairs and into my room, I pick up my old pair of jeans from the top of my clothes hamper and dig around in the pockets. I finally find what I'm looking for; a tiny scrap of paper with Sam's number scrawled on it.

I take a deep breath and descend the stairs at a slower pace, once in the kitchen; I pull over a chair to the telephone on the wall and sink into it.

My hands shake as I try three times to dial the number, I hang up the phone violently and sit back, throwing my hands over my eyes and rubbing.

"Stressed, Little Red?" a soft voice drawls and I jump a mile in the air, drop my hands and glare at him.

He shuts the back door slowly, baiting me.

"Why do you keep doing that, Paul?!" I snap, the anger and stress and anxiety running through me putting me in a nasty mood.

He shrugs, ignoring my outburst, he reaches for an apple from the fruit bowl on the counter and bites into it noisily, he chews slowly whilst I continue staring him down, "Just finished patrol, saw you freaking out, figured I'd stop by and see what's up," he pulls a chair over to face me and plops down in it his limbs sprawled out comfortably, "What's up, Little Red?"

I lean forward and rest my elbows on my knees, rubbing at my forehead, I glance up at him, "Charlie was just telling me something and I thought maybe I should let Sam know."

He nods, his eyes on the scrunched up piece of paper in my hands, I let out a breath and start to straighten out the creases, "What is it that you felt he should know?"

I meet his eyes and he schools his expression into one of concern, I relax slightly knowing he wasn't about to start teasing me, I don't think I'd be able to take it today.

"People are still going missing." I don't mean for it to sound so accusatory, but it does and I flinch.

Paul's eyes flash and a scowl over take his features, "We're trying our hardest," he spits out and I flinch again, "You could at least show a little appreciation."

I shake my head, "I didn't mean it like that, Paul." I say quietly, he holds my gaze for a few seconds then nods and drops his eyes.

I clear my throat, "Charlie said something about the bodies, that they were all drained of blood, I was just worried, I mean, they could easily guess what the attacker really is and then they'd all be in danger."

Paul leans back in his chair, finishes the apple and throws the core over his shoulder.

My eyes widen and I get ready to reprimand him, except it lands perfectly in the trash can, I school my anger but it's too late, he's already seen it and he smirks cockily at me.

I scowl and look down at my lap, "I'm worried, do you think that they'd go so far as to send out search parties, Charlie would be out in the forest with little to no protection."

I worry my bottom lip to the point where I taste blood, Paul sighs heavily and leans towards me.

His hand reaches out and takes mine softly in his grasp, the familiar warmth feels nice and I relax a little more.

He ducks his head down to meet my eyes, his body bent at a weird angle, "Listen Little Red, we're trying our best, and don't worry out the Chief or the Deputy's, they've been around a few times but we always keep them in our sights."

My heart beat staggers at the thought of Charlie out there in the forest, running into Victoria and not being able to escape.

A heavy hand falls on my shoulder and I jump at the contact, Paul's face comes into my line of vision his brow furrowed, "Breath Little Red," He says with urgency behind it and I gasp out a tiny breath.

He stands and pulls me up with him and then against him, I do little to protest and instead move closer to him, holding my arms down by his sides and pressing my face into his shirt clad chest, breathing in his scent.

"We keep our eye on the guys whenever they're out, don't worry, nothing will happen to them."

I prop my chin up on his chest and meet his eyes; he gazes softly down at me and bring one hand up, his thumb tracing my cheek.

I close my eyes and relax fully against him, not ready to deal with the traitorous feelings coursing through me; I open them once again and meet his, the walls finally down and nothing but warmth staring back at me.

The walls around my heart don't crumble; they melt.

"I _promise _you_._"

**Review if you like :)**

**(P.s. We've almost reached 100 guys!)**


	10. Play-Fight

**A/N: Thanks for all the Reviews/Alerts, Special Thank You to Matthias Stormcrow, for being No. 100 and making my day a smidgen better!**

**Thanks to my Trusty Intern, don't know where I'd be without her… Probably somewhere not very nice…**

**Not Beta'd so any mistakes are entirely my fault… [We're all human]**

**This chapter was originally twice as long but I've cut it in two, its works much better this way! Also I was referencing New Moon, so anything recognisable belongs to SM.**

**Enjoy :)**

_13__th__ Dec_

I stand at the kitchen sink eating my cereal and stare out the window as snowflakes the size of feathers fall continuously, coating everything in a thick blanket of white.

The snow had started last night, and when I woke this morning, school had texted me saying they would definitely be closed today and Friday.

This meant that I had a whole day to myself.

_Great._

I finish my cereal and place the bowl down in the sink.

Footsteps coming closer alert me to Charlie's presence.

I turn just as he walks into the kitchen, the first thing I notice is that he's not in uniform; he's wearing an old flannel and battered jeans, "Mornin' Bells."

He heads straight for the coffee pot, pulls out two mugs from the cupboard above and pours out the coffee.

"Morning Dad, you're not in uniform, you feeling okay?" he hands me my cup and takes a sip of his own, sighing contentedly.

"'Course I do Bells, I just figured since you're not in school today, and I've been so busy at the station, that I'd take the day of and we could hang out, maybe make the place look a little more festive."

A genuine smile breaks out across my face and I nod my head eagerly, "Dad, that sounds like a great idea."

"Great ideas are the only kind I have Bella."

I roll my eyes and make my way to the opposite counter top, adding 2 sugars and plenty of milk to my coffee, "Sure, sure Dad."

He chuckles and takes a seat at the table, I turn and lean back against the counter facing him and slowly sip my coffee.

"So, I was thinking, maybe this year we could put up a real tree, how's that sound?"

"It sounds good Dad, one question though, where are we gonna find one?"

He smiles wide, his eyes sparkling with a child-like mirth, "We could go out into the forest, there's a small clearing with plenty of Fir trees, the Jefferson's recommended it to me last year."

My heart sinks to my stomach at the mention of the forest, but I put it away, and remind myself to text one of the guys and warn them, "Sure Dad, I haven't had a real tree in years."

He nods and continues to drink his coffee, "I'm gonna need to get the old truck outta the garage, you better put on your hiking boots, Bells, I wonder if that truck will start, it's a good thing Jake is coming along."

Charlie's rambling now, buzzing with excitement, half talking to me, half to himself.

"Dad," I interrupt him, "Are the Black's coming with us?"

He runs a hand through his salt and pepper hair, "Yeah, and the Clearwater's."

I nod, intrigued by this new information.

"I figure those kids need a change of scenery, to do something fun."

I smile widely at the sweet nature of my father, "Yeah Dad, it should be fun."

Charlie finishes his coffee and stands; he walks over to the bits and bobs cupboard and fishes out the old truck keys.

"We'll bring everyone back here, decorate the tree and the place and then we can just order take out."

I shoot him a disapproving look and he rolls his eyes, "Yeah, yeah, it's just for one night Bells, then we can go back to eating your health food, tomorrow."

"Fine," I say, and then quickly add, "but we're ordering maximum veggies on the pizza, Dad."

He chuckles and nods before exiting the kitchen and I smile to myself.

Guess I wouldn't be spending the day alone after all.

~OE~

I make my way downstairs after showering and layering on clothes, Charlie is nowhere to be seen but I can hear him mumbling to himself down in the garage, presumably trying to get the old truck to start.

I walk stealthily to the kitchen and glance over my shoulder to the cracked open front door, when I'm confident that Charlie won't come inside for a while, I tip-toe over to the Phone on the wall and pick up the receiver.

Holding the scrap piece of paper that has Sam's number on it in one hand, the receiver now wedged between my shoulder and ear, I dial with my free hand.

"Hello," Emily's soft voice answer's on the other end.

I smile genuinely, although I hadn't been back since that one morning, I no longer held any negative feelings against her, she was just too sweet.

"Hey Emily, it's me, Bella."

She chuckles softly, "I kinda figured, what can I do for you, Sweetie."

I blush, "I was just wondering if any of the guys were around."

"Sure..." she trails of, so I wait patiently for her to finish, "is everything okay?"

I nod then realise she can't see me, "Uh, yeah, Charlie, my Dad, and I are going into the Forest, to look for a Christmas tree, I just figured I should warn the guys, you know, so we don't bump into them or something."

"Oh, that sounds nice, they're not really here right now but Sam should be coming by soon to pick up some lunch so I'll let him know."

I let out a breath, "Thanks Emily."

"Anytime Sweetie, anytime."

I smile, "Kay, I'm gonna go now, get ready."

"Sure, have fun Bella, see you around."

I go to hang up, but something stops me, "Wait!" I shout down the receiver."

Emily laughs at me, "Go on..."

"Uh... I was wondering if you wanted to come over tomorrow, for lunch, we could bake something," I figured if she was always cooking for the guys I could help her do it and have fun with it too.

"Erm..." she trails of uneasily and I have to admit, I'm slightly offended, here I was extending the branch and she didn't seem to be co-operating.

"I don't really like to leave the Rez, Bella," she finishes quietly and my earlier mood deflates, as guilt comes crashing down on me, "It's nothing personal," she continues, assuming my silence is in anger, "It's just that people tend to, you know, _stare._"

I swallow past the guilt, "it's okay Emily, I just figured maybe we could hang out."

She lets out what sounds like a relieved breath and then clears her throat, "You could come down here if you like, tomorrow, I mean."

I smile, "I guess it's a date then."

She giggles, "It's a date."

I hang up still smiling and turn to find Charlie staring at me, arms folded over his chest.

He raises a brow and I blush, "You got a date tomorrow, Bells."

I shake my head, my blush deepening, "It's, just... Uh... Do you know Sam Uley?"

Charlie's brow furrow, I can see the question has taken him off guard, "Big guy, helps with security on the Rez?"

I nod and clear my throat, "That was his Fiancé; she invited me over for lunch."

Charlie lifts his head in understanding, "Sweet girl she is, shame 'bout that bear attack, I'd say it pretty much ruined her life, I'm glad you're making friends, Bells."

I smile at him and he shrugs, "Billy called on my cell, say they'd be here soon, Jake's bringing some of his tools, that Truck just won't start."

My brow furrows, "Should I make some sandwiches or something for us to take with?"

He nods and goes to leave the kitchen again, "That sounds good, Bells."

~OE~

I exit the house and stand on the top step as Charlie and Jake help Billy out of a small red car I don't recognise and into his chair. I walk over to them, Billy greets me first, "Hey Bella, how you doin'?"

I lean down and give him a hug, "I'm good Billy, how are you?"

He smiles widely, "I'm good, Sweet-pea, real good."

Charlie and him make conversation and I turn to Jake just as he slams the driver's door shut, "Hey Jake."

"Bells!"

He charges forward and I blanch, before I can even attempt to run away I'm swept up in his Jake's arms and he's swinging me around like a child.

I giggle gleefully, aware of our father's but having way too fun to care, I squeal as Jake's grip tightens and he lifts me higher, spinning me one more time before lowering me to the ground.

He holds onto my forearms to help me catch my balance as we both gasp for breath.

Our eyes meet his mirroring mine and shining with mirth as we giggle, I gasp and lean over on my side a little, trying to relieve the stitch.

"Is that your car?" I gesture over his shoulder and he mock scowls at me

"Yes, and it's not an 'it', it's a _she._"

I nod solemnly, holding back my giggles at his overprotectiveness for a heap of metal.

The sound of another car door closing has me spinning around in time to be caught in another bear hug by Seth.

We pull away and he places a sloppy loud kiss on my cheek, I chuckle as I pull away and reach up to ruffle his hair.

Leah walks over to us at a slow pace and I glance briefly over her shoulder to wave at Sue.

"Adios Swan,"

I snort out in laughter, still giddy from before, "That means _Goodbye!_"

She dismisses her mistake with a wave of her hand, "Eh, what does it matter, none of us are Spanish."

We're silent for a few seconds, and then we all nod and shrug in agreement. Leah kicks the toe of her boot against mine, "Great shoes, huh?"

I roll my eyes, "Not exactly, but necessary."

"Let's go guys," Charlie calls from behind me and Leah and I turn to follow, Jake already up ahead, assisting Billy and Seth bouncing in front of us.

~OE~

Seth and I walk side by side, lagging behind everyone else, our joined hands swinging between us.

We had driven for ten minutes, taking the Truck for the tree on the way back and Sue's car, to the entrance trail to the Forest and then started making our way to the clearing, it would probably take us a little longer but we had to stay on the trail, for Billy.

Sue and Leah are up ahead of us, arms linked, making their way carefully through the snow, Charlie and Billy are leading us, with Jake pushing Billy in his chair.

I take advantage of the situation and ask Seth, "How have you been?" It's been over three months since Harry's death, but I like to make sure he's okay, just as Leah does with me.

He glances sideways at me and nods, kicking up snow as we go along, "I'm good."

I smile at him and moments later he returns it with greater enthusiasm, "S'cool now that I have two big sisters to look out for me." Our shoulders bump and I squeeze his hand tightly in mine.

"Really? Do you have a favourite Seth?"

His eyes widen and then he cough's, blushing under his dark skin, his eyes flicker over to Leah, he coughs again, "I love you both the same."

I reign in my chuckles at his expense but grin widely at him, "I love you too, Sethy!"

He throws his arm over my shoulder and pulls me into his side, "Good, just don't call me that."

This time I do laugh a little.

Up ahead the guys enter what must be a small clearing where the trees are planted.

Charlie turns whilst Billy and Jake carry on carefully, "Up here, we can cut one down from here," Charlie shouts.

Seth and I glance at each other, our grins so wide they hurt and then turn and sprint towards the clearing.

We pass Sue and Leah and Seth accidently nudges her whilst running, "Hey!" she calls out behind us.

I let go of Seth's hand and run up ahead a little, making the first footpath in the untouched snow. I stare up at the clear sky and take a deep breath of the fresh air, it feels liberating.

When my gaze returns to the others, everyone has joined us in the clearing, I roll my eyes as Charlie continues to give some tree related lecture to the rest of our guests.

A sudden thought strikes me and I grin whilst crouching stealthily, lift some snow, press it into a ball with my gloved hands and promptly launch it in Charlie's direction.

It splats against the collar of his jacket, most falling to the ground but some making its way inside, he jumps at the contact.

He spins rapidly, his eyes zoning in on me whilst the other's whoop with laughter. I try to look innocent bur lose control over my grin.

Another snow ball hits Charlie, this time provided by Seth and Charlie seems to unfreeze, he turns on Seth, crouches and starts forming his own snow ball.

A full out fight breaks out, Sue walks over to where Billy is parked to keep out of the way as Jake and Leah run closer to me into the middle of the clearing joining in.

A snowball hits my back and I turn to find Jake smirking at me, I narrow my eyes at him and dig for another snowball, he mocks hasps and bends to make his own. I throw mine and it barely grazes his shoulder, before he can straighten up I squeal and run to duck behind Leah, using her as my human shield.

She continues to violently pelt Seth and Jake whilst I watch her back and constantly inform her of Charlie's failed attacks, Sue and Billy laugh loudly from where they are on the other side of the clearing, tears running down their cheeks.

I shriek as Leah suddenly turns on me, a snowball in her raised hand and a warning look on her face, I squeal and run forward into the cover of the tree's, panting as I run to take cover, her booted feet gaining on me.

I run further, a stupid grin on my face until I'm sure she is no longer following me, I stop and lean against a tree, bent over trying to catch my breath. I can still hear hoots from the clearing a little ways away, I laugh breathlessly and shake my head to myself.

It goes quiet for a few seconds and apprehension takes over me, I straighten and go to make my way to where the sounds from the others were before when a sudden unnatural breeze causes snow to fall from the braches above me.

I freeze and try to swallow but it gets stuck.

Panic rises in me; I recognise that unnatural shift.

I close my eyes, all I had to do was make it back, the wolves were out somewhere, and they would keep us safe.

The breeze shifts again, this time something brushes against the front of my parka, Victoria's beautiful face shifts into my mind, her beauty contorted with anger and menace, my heart jump starts again and I forget all rationality, turn and run in the opposite direction.

My breath comes out in little huffs as I try to find a break in the trees so I can turn and find my family.

Rushes of air fill my ears and I turn to glance over my shoulder, trying to see if she is following me; big mistake.

I trip forward and fall onto the ground.

Stinging in my left hand brings attention to the cut just below my palm; I hold my breath and cringe as a tiny drop of blood trickles out of the cut and falls contrastingly to the snow below.

Another breeze has my hair whipping around and I scramble to my feet and carry on running, a clearing comes into view and I charge forward, seconds away from my family.

Déjà vu hits me like a ton bricks, firstly because I'm running through the forest helplessly, the ton of bricks settle in my stomach as the second reason becomes crystal, because I recognise this clearing – only it's not a clearing.

It's the Meadow.

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	11. Relapsing

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**The story slowly unfolding now, let me know what you think, I look forward to it! Also I was referencing New Moon whilst writing this chapter so anything recognisable belongs to Twilight's creator SM!**

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_13__th__ Dec [Still]_

In the back of my mind I know I should turn back now and try to find Charlie and the others, but I stay rooted to the spot.

The Meadow is so different to what I remember.

It's still a perfect circle but the waist length grass and ferns are dead, the entire circle covered in an untouched layer of snow.

I stand stock still, my breathing out of control as the memories rush into my brain.

_Laying here, talking, smiling, and laughing, with _him.

Sharp pain cuts through me and I gasp as I fall to my knees, tears fall haphazardly down my cheeks but I have no energy to wipe them.

I let out a sob and the tears fall faster, I clench my fists the moan out in pain as I bring my focus to my left hand, I glare down at the bright red blood, cursing it for running through my veins, for causing all this pain.

I turn my palm into the snow and press down hard.

The pain is welcomed and I sob loudly in anger and hurt, I take staggered breaths trying to control myself.

"Isabella," it sounds like a whisper in the breeze, but the shivers that run through me alert me to the fact that I am no longer alone.

My head snaps up, and my heart beats out of chest but for a completely different reason this time, the stops completely.

I scramble to my feet, instinctively clasping my left hand behind my back; I desperately try to swallow past the lump in my throat and manage to choke out, "Laurent!"

I sniffle and clear my throat, lifting my right hand to wipe at my nose and cheeks.

He stands motionless on the other side of the Meadow, his olive skin pale in the supernatural way, his feet are bare and dirty, his pants and shirt ripped and smeared with blood. He lifts his head and the sudden movement causes me to jump, my breath staggers and I finally meet his eyes.

Piercing black orbs stare back at me, dazed with what I recognise to be bloodlust.

I gulp and go to take a step back.

His eyes snap to my feet and I freeze.

A ghost of a smile lifts one side of his full lips, and then a smirk breaks out.

I stop breathing all together, fully aware of the danger I am in, he meets my eyes again, his gaze menacing and cocks his head slightly, "You remember me?" he drawls in his exotic voice.

Alarm bells ring in my head, he looks so unstable and out of control.

I give up trying to tame my wild breathing, my fear taking over any functioning parts of my brain.

He takes a few calculated steps to the left, moving slightly closer to me and I clench my left hand tighter behind my back.

He stops and raises a brow at me, "The Cullen's left you."

It's not a question and for this, I flinch. I try to clear my throat and retort but end up sputtering like an idiot and just nod dumbly at him.

A tiny smile grazes his dark features and a shiver runs through me, I mentally go over the contents of my pockets.

_Crap._

Nothing that would even remotely harm him or set him alight.

I'm unable to come up with any escape plan strategies either so I decide to keep him talking, to bait him and just hope that either a wolf would find me or that he'd change his mind and walk away; I was hoping it would be the second.

"When I saw the house empty, I thought they'd have taken you with them," he pauses and meets my eyes, "but here you are."

My throat tightens and I breathe harshly through my nose.

He moves back to the right, replacing the distance between us and stands tall, his gaze never wavering from mine, "Do they visit often?"

I gulp, my eyes watering once again, I search the trees around us making the mistake of leaving his gaze.

It's too late, my eyes snap back towards me and this time he's right in front of me, I stare up at him, he's much taller than I remember and up this close I can see his pitch black pupils are tinged red.

His right hand grips my chin and holds my face firmly; I shiver from both the fear coursing through me and the memories of the feelings that temperature once evoked.

The coldness of his marble skin is harsher than the cold air, "I thought not," he chuckles and brings his face closer to mine.

At this point I'm way beyond controlling the pathetic whimpers that escape me, tears fall down my cheeks helplessly.

I clear my throat, trying to distract him, "I- I thought you went to Alaska?"

He straightens, as if my question has taken him off guard and releases my face, he moves backwards but I don't relax, I know fully well that I am still in danger.

"I did," he looks around the Meadow, his eyes are dazed once again, "I got tired after a while, being a vegetarian…" he trails off dramatically, "… is not my thing," he chuckles again.

A thoughtful look comes over his face and I hurry to keep him distracted, hoping and praying that none of my family stumble this way.

"V-Victoria's been a-around."

He smirks, an evil glint in his eyes, "Ah yes, the missing hikers, she's such a bad girl isn't she."

My brow furrows as he sighs heavily, "She's not going to be happy about this." He shakes his head at me and I swallow audibly.

"A-about what?" my voice catches.

He faces me fully, "About me killing you," he says nonchalantly.

I stumble back and his eyes dart to my feet, "She wants revenge, Isabella, an eye for an eye, your Edward killed her James," he moves forward with calculated movements. I raise my right hand and swipe at my cheeks desperately hoping that the others don't find me.

He's right in front of me again, he sighs, "She'll be so mad."

"Then why don't you wait for her," I sob uselessly.

"Oh, no, no, no, ssh," he coo's and brings both hands up to cup my face, "It's not that simple Isabella, you see, I was here hunting, you caught me at a bad time and I can't deny that you smell simply… mouth-watering."

I whimper, accepting my fate, and fully aware of the fact that in this moment, this is how my life was going to end. I sob fruitlessly, the tiny amount of survival instinct in me forcing me to do anything to save my own life; I beg, "No, please…"

He looks at me sympathetically and strokes the backs of his fingers against my cheek, "sshh Isabella, you are lucky I was the one to find you," I meet his eyes confused as my heart continues to jump out of my chest, "If you knew what she had planned for you," he shudders, a faraway look in his eyes.

Another breeze sends strands of my hair into the air and brings his attention back to me, he inhales deeply, "Mouth-watering…" he says again, his eyes turning darker if possible.

I close my eyes, bracing myself for death; _Charlie, Renee, Leah, Jake, Seth, I love you…_

More tears leak from my now slightly opened eyes as I see Laurent once again raise his head to the breeze.

He pauses and then his gaze snaps over my shoulder. His eyes widen in fear and his grip on me loosens.

I realise in this moment that I'm acting completely stupid, but I have to see what has him so scared, I turn my back on him, only to come face to face with a huge, horse sized, black wolf; _Sam._

I gasp and the restrictions in my chest loosen, I close my eyes in disbelief and relief, _they'd found me._

"I don't believe it," Laurent whispers from behind me.

Sam stalks forward slowly and I stand stock still forgetting the situation for a moment as I admire his grace and beauty, despite his size.

As he moves fully from the trees, two others move beside him, flanking him, though I have no idea who they are, _Paul, maybe…_

My heart gives a traitorous squeeze.

One is chocolate brown the other grey, with brown spots along his muzzle, this one looks at me and I gasp, his eyes are undoubtedly human.

They stalk forward, the black one still the tallest, when all three are stood in the clearing they stop, my brow furrows; one was missing.

I gulp and glance over my shoulder, then turn halfway so I can see both the wolves and Laurent.

Sam opens his mouth, bringing his razor sharp teeth into view and lets out an animalistic roar; I jump and bring a hand up to cover my mouth as the three wolves charge forward.

Laurent turns his eyes wide with horror and runs.

_He ran away…_

As the wolves follow, the fur of the grey spotted one brushes me, knocking me back a little, I shiver from the feeling.

Within seconds they disappear into the trees and from my sight.

The weight of what just almost occurred comes crashing down on me

I sink into the snow, my pants already wet from kneeling on the ground before, and lean forward in shock, then throw up violently.

When I'm done, I spit on the ground and haul myself straight up, then wipe my hand across the back of my mouth.

A sharp pain reminds me of the cut to my hand and I fight to stop myself from vomiting again, I wonder briefly if Charlie and the others are looking for me, I feel a pang of guilt for this.

I pull myself up and stagger on forward in the opposite direction of the wolves. I trip several times, the consequences of what could have been continuously knocking the breath out of me.

A burning in my side has me stopping once again and I lean against a tree as my stomach churns again. I spit out bile once more then swipe my hand across my mouth.

A series of growls fill the air and startle me, I jump and run until they start to fade, looking over my shoulder several times, I turn to have another look over my shoulder and then face forward again only to run smack bang into a solid wall of muscle.

Big hands clasp my upper arms before I can fall and pull me up against a naked chest.

I gasp out his name in relief, "Paul!"

His grip tightens around my arms and he pulls me back away from himself a step or so, his eyes are dazed, blazing yellow, and his nostrils flare with every harsh intake of breath.

I gulp and my own breathing staggers as I realise the animal within him is very much still present. I look down from his eyes only to find myself blushing beet red, his chest isn't the only part of him that's naked. I snap my gaze away but he brings his hands up to cup my face and forcing me to meet his gaze.

His eyes are softer now, no longer blazing, his yellow irises slowly fading back to black.

A very different, very human form of anger contorts his features into a nasty scowl, "What are you doing out here?" he grinds out from where his teeth are clenched so tightly.

I blink, swallow and pull my shoulder up to my ear, "Can you put some clothes on please?"

He shoots me an incredulous look, but I don't budge, he nods once and I turn my back to him. After hearing the familiar ruffle of his cut-offs and the sound of a zipper I turn back to him, he glares at me.

I swallow, surely Emily gave them the message, I try to explain myself, "Paul I-…"

I don't get the chance to explain, he charges towards me, I stiffen just as he hauls me up in his arms, one hand holds me under my butt giving me no choice but to wrap my legs around him as his other hand cradles the back of my head and he pushes me up against a tree.

My eyes widen as his head dips down and he buries his head in the juncture where my neck meets shoulder and inhales deeply, I flap my hands for a minute indecisively then wrap the around his neck effectively pulling him closer to me.

His warmth encompasses me, melting the fear away and I close my eyes relishing feeling this close to him, his walls are completely down, the fear of what could have happened to me pouring out of him as he snuffs my neck around my pulse point and places tiny open-mouthed kisses there.

I squirm at one point as he tickles me and he clasps me tighter in response, the shift in position pushes his hips further into mine. I gasp and stiffen; _how am I supposed to ignore THAT!_

My eyes snap open and I unclasp my hands from his neck, rest my injured one on his right shoulder and bring my right hand up to stroke through his hair.

A soft growl rumbles throughout his chest, sending vibrations through me, my eyes close monetarily and I continue my ministrations. He takes a deep breath against me then slowly pulls back, till he's face to face with me.

My hand in his hair drops to his other shoulder as he stares softly into my eyes, his right hand comes up and cups my face, I blink and take a deep breath of my own, my eyelids flutter before I focus on him fully, "Did you get my message?" I whisper.

He nods and then clears his throat, "Yeah, Em told Sam, we were just pacing the borders when the breeze shifted and we caught scent of him… and then you." He shudders and I pull my ear up to my shoulder.

"I'm okay, Paul."

I rake my right hand through his hair and he purrs contentedly, then scowls at his reaction to me, I smile softly, "You could have died."

I nod, "I know…"

He swallows his eyes pacing between mine, "Charlie's looking for you, going insane," he snorts, "this is exactly like last time." I flinch but he doesn't apologise. "He's dead now." Paul states and my brow furrows.

"Laurent?"

He snorts again, "If that was his name, and yeah, him." He frowns, "I couldn't stay… I had to find you," he whispers brokenly to me, the backs of his fingers stroke from my hairline to my lips.

"I'm glad you did," I whisper back to him.

His eyes that had been following his fingers snap up to mine, he leans forward closing the two inches between us, my heart speeds up for a different reason.

At the last minute I turn my face to the side; his lips meet my cheek and press softly.

He pulls away a little and I keep my eyes clenched tightly shut, afraid to the expression on his face.

Instead, his nose skims from the corner of my lips to my cheekbone, "Why?" he whispers, his lips brushing against my cheeks repeatedly. I swallow and flush, his top half arches away from me, effectively pushing his hips into me, pinning me to the tree, my eyes snap open, but he's not smirking, he staring at me imploringly, looking a little hurt.

I roll my eyes and lean up towards him then peck him on the nose, I move back and huff, "I threw up." His brow furrows, I reach up and cup his face, "I have bad breath."

A tiny smile takes over his face as if he thinks I'm extremely cute and he in turn pecks my nose, my blush deepens. He shrugs, "I don't care." And then moves calculatedly towards me.

A piercing howl makes the both of us jump and Paul pulls back with a sigh, he meets my gaze fully, "You win Little Red, not here, not now." I blush at his implication that we _would _kiss, just not now.

"Guess I should get you back to your Dad, huh?"

I swallow trying to calm myself and nod, then my brow furrows, "What do I tell him?"

Paul shrugs, "Sam said just tell him you ran into the giant animals, it's not great but right now, it's all we've got." I nod once more. He moves us away from the tree, one hand disappears behind his back to unclasp my legs around him, he holds my hips as I slide gracefully down the front of his body, _Oh my._

I blush again and he stares down at me knowingly. Paul bends at the knees and scoops me up, bridal style, essentially cradling me against his chest and strides along with propose.

~OE~

"Isabella Marie Swan!" Charlie's terror stricken voice scolds me and I promptly burst into tears, throw myself out of Paul's arms and into my father's. He holds me tightly a firm arm across my shoulders and I breath in his dad smell. He places frantic kisses on the top of my head, "Oh Jesus, Bells, don't you dare do that to me again."

"I-I- I'm so-o-rry," I gasp out between sobs, he pulls back from me both his hands grasping my shoulders.

"It's fine, Sweetheart, just tell me what happened."

"I sa-aw the-e-em," I wipe across my nose and Charlie's eyes widen.

He nods and shouts over at Billy, "I'm gonna have to file a report on this sighting," he sighs, then turns to Sue.

"Sue get me the First Aid, and bring me a blanket," that seems to be the cue everyone is waiting for, Sue rushes towards us as do Leah and Seth, Jake trails Billy over to us and Paul stands behind me.

Charlie wraps a blanket around me, letting go of my shoulders and I sway on my feet a little, Paul grabs me from behind and swings me back up into his arms, "Why don't we take her back to your place Chief, we can take better care of her there," Charlie nods, and then he seems to acknowledge Paul.

"Thanks Son." His voice rings with sincerity, my eyes drift shut as he starts walking, clasping me tightly to his so not to jostle me too much.

I notice a Fir tree, cut down laying across from us in the clearing and my eyes tear, I even managed to ruin this perfect family day.

Paul clasps me tighter to him and I glance up at him through my tears, he shakes his head at me and I try to hold them back, he was silently telling me that it wasn't my fault.

We trail behind everyone else, Charlie was muttering to Billy, Jake pushing him and Seth and Sue were huddled together in front of us, Leah had stayed back with us, her left arm linking my ankle.

He pulls me higher and brings his mouth to my ear, "Don't worry about the explanation's, I'll handle Charlie."

With that reassurance in mind, I sink into him and lets his calming warmth wash over me.

I pass out.

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	12. Peach

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_13__th__ Dec [Yeah, this day just doesn't seem to wanna end]_

I wake up just as Paul places me in the center of my bed, Charlie follows us into the room then ushers everyone else downstairs, he stands leaning back against the door and gestures for Paul to take a seat, Paul pulls over my desk chair to my bed and settles to my right. His posture is seemingly relaxed, but his clenched jaw, stern features and the way his left hand has worked its way onto my bed, grasping the duvet tightly give him away; he's still freaked out.

Charlie lets out a breath then continues to question us both on what happened, I let Paul answer most questions, he seems to have everything worked out. After that he heads downstairs to make some phone calls, not before shooting Paul a warning look.

When Charlie is gone, Paul takes a deep breath and relaxes a little, his eyes dart around the room continuously, searching for an invisible danger, we were safe right now but I understood he couldn't relax now. I tentatively reach out and stroke my fingers along the back of his hand. He releases the duvet and turns his hand over and holds mine firmly.

The door bursts open and Jake and Seth stride in, Seth perches at the foot of my bed and Jake to my left, I pull my hand out of Paul's and rest them both on my stomach.

Jake's reaches down and pushes my hair off of my forehead, a tiny growl erupts from Paul but thankfully no one else hears it, "I'm glad you're okay, Bells," I smile at him and nod, he leans down and kisses my forehead, I sigh contentedly, then shiver when his warm lips leave my skin.

He notices and Seth stands, "Do you want us to cover you with the duvet?"

I shake my head at them, "N-no, I'll just get dirt on the sheets." I squirm a little in my dirt ridden clothes, Paul twitches beside me.

The door swings open and Leah strides in, "You, you and you…" she points a finger at Jake, Paul and Seth "out now!"

Jake and Seth both make their way out of my room, Paul stands too, his feet apart and his hands clenched by his sides, "I'm staying," he grinds out and Leah rolls her eyes at him then walks over to me.

"Fine, but _we _are not." My brow furrows and she rolls her eyes, "I'm trying to help you get ready for bed Swan, jeez, co-operate please?"

I lift my head in understanding and pull myself out off of the bed. My knees shake and I wobble a little where I stand, Paul reaches out to me and lifts me once again, I sigh, "Lead the way," he mumbles to Leah. She rolls her eyes and makes her way to the bathroom.

She closes the bathroom door behind us turns to face me, "Can you ask him to put you down and leave?"

I nod and Paul sets me on the counter beside the sink, he kisses my forehead and lingers there, brushing his lips against my neck, "I'll be fine." I breath at him, knowing he'll hear it. He nods against me and walks out of the bathroom, sending me a longing glance as he slowly shuts the door behind him, I smile softly.

"Brush your teeth, I'll run the water." Leah commands as she slides the lock in place.

I lean over the sink on auto pilot, pick up my brush put on some paste and brush. I spit into the sink and reach for my face wash; I squirt some onto my palm and use my fingers to massage it into my damp skin, then rinse. I braid my hair and then twist it up into a knot, to keep it out of the way.

Leah runs the taps and pushes in the stopper, pangs in my stomach force me to ask, "Can you step outside for a moment, I have to pee."

She stands, brushing past me and leans against the counter next to the sink, I raise a brow at her and she shrugs, "We've got the same parts Swan, don't be shy." I blush and go to argue but she cuts me off, "You can barely walk on your own B, let me just help you."

I cross my arms over my chest and she holds up her hands in surrender, "Hey, I've just been sent up here to keep an eye on you, don't shoot the messenger or whatever…"

My brow furrows,"Charlie is convinced you're suicidal," she rolls her eyes, "a bit extreme if you ask me but whatever, I'm staying."

"Fine." She helps me down from the counter then over to the toilet, I lift the lid and she turns around, just as I'd asked. I use the toilet, wipe at myself and flush. I replace the lid and get up slowly making my way over to her at the sink and wash my hands, she's busied herself by reading the back of a shampoo bottle, when she see's I'm done, she grabs a different bottle and pours a little into the tub causing bubbles to form.

"Are you staying whilst I…" I trail of and gesture to the now full tub.

She meets my gaze fully, "Yes, now unless you want me to get in there with you, strip your skinny ass and get in that tub!"

My eyes widen but I do as she says,I stand on the rug and she steadies me as I take off my jeans, shirt and undershirt, I pause before pulling down my panties and then lean forward to turn of the water, I step into the bath tub and sink down, only my head is visible over all the bubbles.

Leah looks towards me then, "See, there's nothing weird about this at all, just a little sisterly bonding, is all."

I roll my eyes at her and stare at the wall in front of me, "Mom used to do this with me, when Sam dumped me. She said bathing helped but was always afraid to leave me on my own incase I decided to take a razor to my wrist," she snorts, "little did she know."

My eyes widen but she shakes her head, I understand, closed subject, for now anyway.

"Mom would sit with me and read the comedy bits out of Cosmo and shit," she sighs and puts the bottle of shampoo down on the floor next to her, "You really scared us, B, we thought you were dead or some shit."

I shrug, "I got lost and then I heard things, and I tried to run back but I was in a different clearing, it was this Meadow-" I swallow, "And I saw the animals, you know, the ones they've blamed for the attacks and missing hikers."

She nods as if she's trying to figure something out; I drop my eyes from hers.

Leah sighs and then stands, "I was scared, it would have been my fault."

My brow furrows, "Of course it wouldn't have been Lee, I ran off on my own."

She shakes her head, "I shouldn't have chased you, it's just," she walks towards me, grabs my sponge from the shelf ahead and sits on the ledge beside the bath, I sit up, cover my breasts with both hands and lean forward my upper body out of the water, my back facing her, "I've already lost my Dad, another family member leaving me would be hell, B," she tentatively washes my back for me soothingly, "You're my baby sister."

Tears spill down my cheeks, "I didn't mean to scare everyone," I swipe at them; the cut on my left hand must have been taken care of by Sue earlier when I was passed out.

"Yeah, and if you do something like that again, I'll kick your ass."

When she's done, she drops the sponge into the water and goes to sit on the closed lid of the toilet, the bathroom door shakes a little and I sit up, covering myself once more, Leah walks over to the door, unlocks it and pokes her head out. "Jesus, can you behave just a little longer, she'll be out soon."

A voice that sounds like Paul mumbles something and Leah snorts, "Not on my watch, Lahote"

"What's going on out there, Lee?" the bubbles in the water start to disappear, I gather some from around me and move them to once again cover me, Leah's head appears once again and she closes the door with a huff.

"Paul's wearing a line in the carpet, pacing out there and Jake is sat on the stairs, they're kinda killing each other with words, oh, and Paul's winning." I flinch and then sigh.

"What are they saying out there?"

She shrugs, "Jake is worried about you," then she snorts, "Paul wants to come in." I blush and she comes and sits on the edge of the tub, "You really like him, don't you?" she whispers, I shrug indifferently, fully aware that he could hear every word we were saying.

"I get it," I look at her confused, "when Sam dumped me, I was distraught," she pauses, and takes a deep breath, I clear my face of emotion, "I wasn't lying about the cutting thing." she whispers. I wince, she doesn't notice, a far away look on her face, "I lost myself in feeling that pain, physical rather than emotional, parties, drinking, drugs..."

She trails off and takes a steadying breath, she didn't cry though, she was getting better at talking to me about these things, I wonder briefly what Charlie would think of these confessions, from a Cop's perspective.

"And then there was Paul," this time I gasp, I want to tell her that he can hear her but I know I have no right. "He was just there, at all the parties, wanting the same thing I did, and he was Sam's friend, I just thought..."

I nod and clear my throat, "You just wanted to hurt Sam." She nods and sniffles, doing a good job of holding back most of her tears. I go to reach up and clasp her hand when the door bursts open, I shriek and go to cover myself, Leah stands abruptly.

"Seth!" we both shout simultaneously, he freezes, a fluffy white towel clasped between his hands.

"What?! I was just bringing Bella this towel, Mom told me to." I roll my eyes and Leah snatches it from him, "Get out!"

His eyes widen and move between us, "Sorry Bella," he mumbles then ducks his head, trying to hide his flaming cheeks and drags his feet out of the bathroom closing the door behind him, I hold in my chuckle but manage to crack a little smile.

Leah lets out a breath, "Sorry 'bout that B."

I shrug and gesture for her to bring me the towel, "It's okay. I think maybe he was just as shocked as we were." She laughs and walks towards me, holding out the towel and turns her face away from me. I pull out the stopper and carefully stand on the non-slip rug, I rub myself dry then warp it around my body, tucking in the corner under my arm.

"Let's go," Leah nods and reaches for the handle then swings the door open. Paul's hulking frame fills the doorway, his fists clenched by his sides, "What the-" Leah is cut off as he growls at her, her eyes widen and she takes an instinctive step back.

I hold the towel closer to me protectively, Paul rolls his eyes at me, drops his fierce look, ducks into the room and sweeps me up. I hold my hand at my breasts, he pulls me closer and makes his way to my room. Jake stands as we pass him and Paul sneers at him.

We enter my room and Leah closes the door behind us, she gestures for Paul to leave and he does, but not before scowling at her, it makes sense why they seemed familiar with each other now.

She turns around, "I'm giving you five." I drop my towel and pull out my sleep clothes, step into them and sit on the edge of the bed.

"I'm done," I murmur before a yawn takes over me, I cover my mouth with my hand then throw myself back on the bed, Leah laughs at me then moves to help me under the duvet.

The door bursts open again and she screeches under her breath, frustrated as Paul saunter's back into the room. I close my eyes and feel the bed shift as he sits heavily next to me, "I sent Jake and Seth downstairs," he breaths to no one in particular.

Leah snorts and comes to sit on my other side, she slowly sinks down and lays next to me, she grasps my left hand in hers, Pauls mirrors her, the tree of us laying together on our backs, our hand joined.

"I'm so happy you're okay, Little Red," Paul whispers, "I-" he cuts himself off, sounding choked up, I don't dare glance at him. His nickname for me brings something to mind and I smile despite the day.

"You know..." I trail of and Leah meets my eyes, catching the mischievous glint, her smirks mirrors my own, "You're a real softy, no matter how hard you try to portray the bad-ass 'I don't care' look."

Leah snorts out laughter, "Yeah, your such a-" she snorts again, almost choking on her giggles, I join her, Paul tenses beside me.

"-a Peach," I finish, beaming triumphantly, happy with the new nickname for my hero.

Paul sniffs in disgust then clears his throat, "Don't you dare." I meet his eyes and smile sweetly at him, he mock scowls but I can see that he's not really upset.

Leah forgotten, I beam at him, "It's only fair, you've given me a nickname, I'm just returning the favour." He smiles at me, his eyes warm, all sense of worry gone from them. I figure it had something to do with me feeling better.

"You didn't have a say in this anyway... Peach."

**Review if you like :)**


	13. Insulting

**A/N: Thank you for all the Reviews/Alerts, your response to the last chapter made me smile so wide, my cheeks hurt, Seriously, your comments blew me away!**

**Not Beta'd, so any mistakes are my fault.**

**((Before we continue with the chapter, you've probably heard me mention my Trusty Intern aka Jake's Boy aka Zohra before, she's one of my closest friends and has written her own fic, it's a Vampire Diaries fic [if any of you are fans of the Vampire Diaries] and it's called CRAVE, if you can't find it then look for her profile 'zohra the explorer'))**

**Okay, prepare yourselves people, we have a kiss and an almost phase and a certain cute baby appearance...**

**Enjoy :)**

_14__th__ Dec_

_He lift's his nose to the breeze again, inhaling deeply, "Mouth-watering..." he drawls._

_"T-they'll find-d y-you," I try to threaten him, to induce a little fear. He tuts at me then brings a hand up and strokes the backs of his fingers across my cheek._

_"Look behind you Isabella," His voice is menacing, my eyes widen and I turn my back on him, a gasp escapes me and sobs rip through me, I reach up a hand to cover my racing heart. Four wolves lay on their sides, each bleeding from several wounds, their chests do not fall with breathe; they are dead._

_His cool breath fans my neck and I turn to him once again, my eyes accusing, "Y-you did t-this." He nods at me indifferently; I want to scream at the top of my lungs._

_"Now it's your turn," he grips my chin and moves my hair to the side, I quiver, my body shaking violently, he raises his head slightly then moves in rapidly biting into my neck, I let out a blood curdling scream..._

... Then jerk awake, sitting upright, my hand covering my racing heart and gasp for breath, my eyes frantically take in my surroundings and then close in relief, I'm in my bed, Leah lying opposite me, her feet next to my head and mine next to hers.

I throw myself back on the bed and push my hair back off of my forehead. It was just a dream, the pack were safe, I was safe, they had saved me.

Leah stirs beside me then sits up, facing me; she scowls and rubs the sleep out of her eyes then squints at me, "What is it?" I shake my head at her.

"I had a nightmare, those animals from yesterday got me," I lie smoothly, she yawns and shrugs.

"It was just a dream Swan," she flips over the covers and stands up, "I'm starving." I roll my eyes at her then get out of the bed myself, my legs feel a little weak but not like they did yesterday, I can manage to walk around without assistance.

I make the bed and she helps, we work in silence, then I send her to the bathroom to freshen up whilst I start on breakfast. I hold onto the rail tightly and make my way down the stairs slowly. Charlie's keys are gone from the side table, so he must be out; he had taken another day off of work after giving the report on my sighting to his deputy over the phone.

The kitchen window blind is open letting in the morning sun, the snow is still deep though it has stopped falling, I pour myself a cup of coffee and add some sugar and then go to open the fridge for some milk, there's a post-it stuck in the middle of the fridge, Charlie's untidy handwriting scrawled across it.

_Gone to pick up the tree, be back soon, Dad x_

My heart speeds up as I think of Charlie all alone out there, I close my eyes and take a steadying breath, the wolves were out there yesterday and had caught Laurent, they would keep an eye on him, I let out a breath, reach for the milk and scan the contents for a suitable breakfast, I sigh and close the fridge, toast it is then.

I add plenty of milk to my coffee and head to the other side of the kitchen then pull out half a loaf from the bread-bin.

Leah comes down just as I pop the toast out onto a plate and butter them.

"Got any spreads?" she asks, I point to a cupboard over the toaster and she pulls out some peanut butter and chocolate spread. I pour her a cup of coffee and set everything on the table, we sit together and she slides the chocolate over to me, spreading peanut butter on her own.

Leah takes a sip of her coffee and sighs contentedly, "Where's your Dad at?"

I swallow the food in my mouth and shrug, feigning indifferent, "He's gone to get the tree." Leah almost spits out her coffee.

"Is he crazy?! He's gone back out there after everything that happened yesterday and the lecture he gave us about staying out of the forest?!" I nod in agreement. She sighs, "I swear your Dad is crazier than mine was."

The front door bursts open and a bustle of voices greet us, "Just to the left please guys, Oh, don't hit that, Bells will never forgive me." I smile at Leah and she rolls her eyes at me.

We make our way out of the kitchen and down the hall to find Charlie bringing the tree in the house with the help of Sam, Paul and Embry, they all glance up as we make our way towards them, Leah freezes behind me, I give her a look over my shoulder but she just snorts and goes back into the kitchen.

Charlie looks confused, "You girls alright?" I smile at him softly and nod.

"We're fine Dad," I shoot Sam an apologetic smile but he shakes his head slightly.

"Charlie tells me you had a nasty run-in yesterday Bella, how you feeling?"

"I'm good, thank you Sam," I say hoping he gets my double meaning; he nods at me and smiles at me.

"Can you get the door, Bells?" Charlie asks and I snap forward, opening the living room door and holding it open for them; they brush past me as they go and Embry winks at me, grinning broadly. A hand reaches over the tree and smacks him on the back of the head, he scowls and Paul meets my eyes over the tree.

"Hey, Peach," I mouth at him and he shakes his head, though a small smile graces his full lips.

They set the tree down and then go about making sure it's secure and won't fall over. I go back into the kitchen and put on some fresh coffee, "You okay Lee?"

She's washing the dishes at the sink, she turns and glances over at me, "I'm okay, just wasn't expecting him to be there," I smile softly at her and take the dishes from her, drying them with a dish cloth.

They come into the kitchen then and sit at the table, Charlie goes to take the stairs, "I'm just gonna change this shirt and I'll be back down soon." I nod at him and bring the coffee pot over to the table then poor them a cup each, I lean my hip against Paul's left shoulder and he smiles up at me, "You feeling better?" I nod again and then bring them the milk and sugar.

Leah is silent at the sink and the guys part-take in a hushed conversation, I stand between both parties unsure of what to do, in the end I make my way back over to the sink to dry the rest of the dishes, she hip checks me and winks, obviously she caught mine and Paul's interaction before, I roll my eyes.

Someone clears their throat, "So Bella, Em wanted to know what you'll be coming over today?" Leah drops the dish in the sink splashing us both with water, I take a step back but she's frozen to the spot.

"Uh I-I don't think I'll be able to make it out there today, Charlie was planning on setting up the tree and decorating the place." Sam shoots me an understanding look and nods, "I-I'll call her now." I walk over to the phone on the wall and dial her number from the paper stuck next to the telephone, "Hello."

"Hey, Bella," she answers sounding cheery; I feel guilt settle in my stomach, it's not a nice feeling, "What time are you coming over today?"

"Erm, listen, about that," I lower my voice till I'm sure Leah won't be able to hear me, "You heard what happened yesterday right?"

She lets out a breath, "yes of course, how are you? Sam said they reached you in time but that you were shaken up."

"I'm okay now, thank you, it's just Charlie was planning on putting the tree up today so I don't think I'll be able to make it out there today."

There's a tiny pause on the other side, "Oh," she sounds disappointed and I sigh, "it's okay Bella."

I immediately work for damage control, "I'm really sorry, maybe we can do something another time?"

"Yeah sure," she answer's quietly, "wait! There's a bonfire, in La Push, tomorrow, at First Beach, would you like to come?"

I smile at the idea and reply instantly, "I'll be there, what time do you want me," she laughs.

"Oh Bella you're welcome any time, you know that, but the bonfire starts at 7:00pm," I calculate everything in my mind.

"Would you like me to cook anything?"

She chuckles, Charlie walks in and mouths 'who?' at me, 'Emily' I mouth back, the pack seem to have disappeared once again and Leah is stood with her back to the sink, facing me. Charlie shrugs and exits the kitchen once again.

"I've pretty much got everything covered, but knowing the wolves' appetite, you could do something for dessert, maybe some cookies, Paul tells me your brownies are delicious," I blush and she chuckles as if sensing it, "I'll see you tomorrow Bella."

"Bye Emily," I say then hang up. The kitchen is silent and I take a deep breath before turning to face Leah, I raise a brow at her.

She picks an imaginary piece of lint off of her sweats and looks at me, "So you two are friends now."

I cross my arms and lift my chin at her, "Yes, we are," she nods and swallows loudly, "But..." I trail off, forcing her to meet my eyes, "_You_ are my sister."

She lets out a breath and I smile at her, "let's head up and get dressed."

~OE~

I finish brushing out my hair then huff, it was getting a little better but was still mostly limp, I sigh and braid it, then twist it up and pin it in place, Leah glances at me, "Nice," she says in approval, I use my finger to put on some lip balm then declare myself ready.

Leah finishes her mascara and looks at me, "I think I heard Mom and Billy pull up with the boys, shall we make our way down?" I nod at her and put everything away before we make our way downstairs.

Charlie has Christmas carols blaring from our old radio, Billy and Charlie are playfully knocking each other with words, whilst Sue rolls her eyes at them and makes conversation with Paul and Embry. Seth and Jake are no-where to be seen yet, Sam makes his way towards us at the bottom of the stairs and Leah brushes past us, keeping her eyes forward and avoiding Sam.

He takes a deep breath and looks around to make sure no-one is watching then pulls me into a hug, "I'm so sorry we didn't get there sooner."

"S'okay." I mumble against his warm chest, he moves back grasping my shoulders in his large hands.

"No, it wasn't good enough, you didn't deserve that yesterday, you were so brave." I blush and he smiles at me, "Thanks for making more plans with my Em; she was looking forward to seeing you."

I smile at him, "It's fine, I'm looking forward to it myself." he smiles then glances over his shoulder, Paul approaches us.

He brushes past Sam effectively putting himself between us and smiles down at me, over his shoulder Sam rolls his eyes and I grin at him, Paul catches my chin, forcing my eyes to his, "Hey, Little Red."

My smile deepens, "Hey..." I trail off and reach up to wrap my arms around his neck, hugging him close,"... Peach." He pulls back and mock-scowls at me, Sam busts out laughing.

We grin at each other as Sam catches his breath, "I almost forgot about that, good one Bella."

I shrug. "I try," he chuckles again and then backs away.

"I'll see you tomorrow," I nod and wave at him, Paul reaches out to close the door after him then turns back to me.

"You're not gonna let that go are you?" I smirk smugly at him and shake my head. He goes to reach for me again.

"Bells?" my head snaps to the right as Jake comes into the hall way, I smile as he reaches us.

"Hey Jake," I pull him into a hug; he nods at Paul who returns it, keeping his eyes on me all the time.

"Can you help me bring in some decorations from the truck?" I nod and follow him outside, Paul watches us go.

When the door closes behind us Jake lets out a deep breath and relaxes, "You okay?" I ask.

He snorts; I should be asking you that." I shrug at him.

"I'm fine, I feel much better this morning_, you_, however seem kinda tense, is all?" He nods.

"Yeah, since yesterday, in the forest, I just had this strange feeling, I was so scared for you, and that we couldn't find you, and I just..." he trails off as we reach the car and faces me, "...I had this _need _to protect you, but I couldn't and it was frustrating, I felt like I was gonna burst outta my skin."

My eyes widen, but I hide it before he can see it, I reach up and cup his cheek, "I'm okay now, Jake." He must mistake my compassion for something else, because the next thing I know, he's leaning down towards me, his lips almost descending on mine.

His eyes are closed but mine are wide open with shock, he inches closer to my face but I can't protest, I'm frozen in place. My heart speeds up and I find myself considering what it would be like to kiss someone properly, someone who is very much human.

My eyelids flutter shut and I hold my breath in anticipation, his lips meets mine, soft and warm, just a tiny brush against my own yet it sends shivers down my back, I feel my toes curl in my converse.

Sensing that I won't push him away, Jake pushes his lips again mine harder, somewhere in the back of my mind Paul registers and my eyes fly open once more, I bring my hands up to try and shove at his chest but he just pushes his mouth harder against mine.

"What. The. Fuck?"

I jump and Jake's eyes snap open, he lets me go and he stands to his full height glaring over my shoulder, I turn too only to find Paul stood on the top of the porch, fists clenched by his sides, shaking violently, my eyes widen as I realise that he may be about to phase, a warm hand grips me and I'm immediately tugged behind Jake.

I squeak as my back hits the car door, Paul barrels forward and lunges for Jake, who meets him head on, I wince as they collide, knocking Jake back a little, my eyes widen with horror as I realise he's not as strong as Paul, then I stop thinking altogether. I run the small distance to them and position myself behind Paul and grasp onto his shoulder, he freezes immediately and lets Jake go, a small relief but I know better than to relax yet.

"Get your filthy hands off of her, now!" Jake seethes, beginning to shake himself, my eyes widen and I look to Paul, his nod confirms what I was thinking; Jake might phase now.

"Please, Paul, just back off, take me inside, please," Paul shakes his head at me and murmurs, "the bastard went too far, he practically sexually abused you!" I blanch at his overreaction and he shrugs me off, Jake chuckles darkly bringing our attention back to him.

"Yeah, 'cause you'd know all about _sexual abuse_ wouldn't you, _Paul_, your slut of a mother probably made that one up, didn't she, she's a liar, just like you."

I'm stood there slack-jawed, eye's bugging out at the harsh words of Ja-, no, this person is not the Jacob I know, he's a... Monster. The hurtful things he was saying about Paul's... Mother, was just plain cruel, Paul's shaking violently now, bent at the knees his form shimmering, I look to Jake, the regret in his eyes when they meet mine not doing anything to help me feeling upset with him.

He too turns to Paul's quivering form and his eyes widen slightly, I clench mine shut not wanting to see the violent outcome of this fight. It's silent for a few minutes just a lot of mumbling and when I open my eyes, Embry is there, holding Paul back, trying to talk him back from phasing, Jake's eyes burn with anger.

"What the fuck, Em? You're taking his side right now?! I thought we were brothers?!" Jake sneers at Embry, turning his anger on his best friend.

Embry lets out a breath, Paul stops shaking altogether, his eyes finding mine, a pleading note in them, I close my eyes as Embry replies quietly, "He's our brother too, Jake, you know that."

Jake's eyes flash, "He's not our brother; he's trying to steal my girl." I furrow my brow, not liking that label, from the corner of my eyes I see Paul edging closer to me.

Embry sighs, "You don't know much yet Jake but-"

"What are you trying to say Em, huh? That I'm not good enough to be your friend because I don't know anything now?" Embry's eyes widen.

"You know that's not what I'm saying, I just think that what you said about Paul before was fucked up, even I can appreciate you might not like what's going on with him and Bella, but it's none of your business."

Jake breaths become more laboured and his shoulders hunch over, a hot hand grasps my own and pulls me back against a solid wall of muscle, Jake turns his glare on us, his nostrils flaring, barely keeping his temper in check, "He's just using you, Bella." Jake breaths at me, Paul's grip tightens on my arm and I wince.

Jake notices his eyes zone in on our movement and he meets my eyes, his gaze feral, "You've sunk to that level have you Bella, turned yourself into one of Paul's whores."

I gasp at his hurtful words and tears cloud my vision, that doesn't stop me from seeing clearly how Paul lunges for Jake, how Embry is too slow in holding him back, a loud crack resonates in the air as Paul's fist connects with Jake's cheek, a scream pierces the air and I realise it's coming from me.

Paul is pushing Jake backwards and I scream for him to stop, I try to run after them but Embry is there, holding me back, "Relax Bella," Embry gets out through clenched teeth, "He's just trying to get him into the forest, he's about to phase," I stop my struggle right there going slack in his arms.

"What is going on out here, Boys!?"

Paul sweeps Jake's feet out from under him, sending his quivering form to the snow below him.

Embry turns with me in his arms to find his mother, Andrea, standing there, Mia clutched in her arms and a baby bag over one shoulder. The noise behind me stops and it goes eerily silent for a moment. Andrea makes her way over to us, Mia starts bawling immediately, Embry lets me go and makes to reach for her, she just carries on crying and leans away from him as he goes to grab her. Andrea bounces on her toes trying to quiet the noisy tot.

Jake gets to his feet, his anger forgotten and clears his throat, Paul makes to move towards me but I side step him, effectively putting myself in Mia's view, she cries harder, leaning out of Andrea's arms and reaching for me. Jake's hurtful words forgotten, "May I?" I say to Andrea and she smiles softly at me.

She releases Mia into my arms and the tot quietens as I hold her tightly against me; she moans softly in a baby like way leaning her head into my neck and nuzzling me. I close my eyes and take a deep breath, "Charlie said it was okay if I left her here with you whilst I handle something in town, I suggest you go inside and take both Mia and Bella with you," Andrea says to Embry, and with that she walks back to her car, gets in and drives off.

"Bells?" a remorseful voice says, I turn to find Jake staring at me, his sad eyes welling with tears, I scoff.

"Oh! So it's 'Bells' now, and I'm not a whore anymore?" He winces and Paul glares at him once again, I ignore them both and go to make my way inside, a soft grip on my arms stop me, Mia fidgets in my arms.

"Bells, please, I'm so sorry."

I turn a malevolent glare on him and hold Mia's head to my chest effectively covering her ears, "You know what, Jake, go... Fuck yourself!" And with that I turn and make my way into the house slamming the front door behind me.

Leah pokes her head in the hallway and her eyes widen at the bundle in my arms, I shrug and plaster on a confident smile, "Look who I found outside," I lean back so Mia can see Leah and bounce her on my hip. She giggles and makes happy baby noises, I make my way into the living room and everyone turns to face me.

"Sweet! Mia's here!" Seth exclaims and hurries over to take the now laughing tot from my arms.

~OE~

The wolves and Jake make it back inside eventually, standing at opposite sides of the room, each of them sending me longing looks. I stick to Leah and Seth like glue, holding Mia when Embry lets her go for a few minutes here and there.

We laugh, and joke, and even sing and nobody seems to notice the tension in the air, I ignore both Jake and Paul for the rest of the evening.

At one point Charlie hands me the star, I beam at him happy that he'd let me do this then realise I can't reach, Leah makes some wise crack at my short ass and Seth comes over to lift me as I place the star on top of the Christmas tree. Seth lets me down and I look up at my handy work, it's a little wonky, but it'll do.

A knock at the door alerts me to the arrival of the pizza delivery guy, we eat Charlie and Billy, lightly teasing each other. Soon Andrea arrives to pick up Mia, as she positions her in the baby car seat, Embry approaches me, a careful smile plastered on his face, "Hey," he says.

I glance down and lift my hand to play with the fake holly berries on the reef hung up on the front door, "Hey…"

Embry sighs, "Listen Bella, I'm so sorry for what happened back there, and what Jake said, It wasn't his fault, he-"

"Why are you apologising?" I cut him off, irritated, Jake should be the one apologising, hell; he should be grovelling at my feet. Embry lets out a breath.

"So, you're not mad at me?" he asks carefully. I lift my eyes to his and then lean forward to pull him into a hug, he returns it and lets out another breath in relief, I shake my head, we pull apart and he smiles down at me, "Night, Bella."

I return his smile, "Yeah, night Em."

He jogs over to the car and gets in, Andrea waves at me from the driver's seat and I wave back at her then make my way inside, Paul's stood three feet away from me, I glare at him.

"I'm gonna head home too," I snort and move away from the front door, allowing him space to exit, and go to make my way upstairs, he grips my arms and turns me to face him, I almost growl at him, sick and tired of being man-handled, he raises a brow at me.

I continue to glare and he sighs, pulling me into a hug, I fold my arms across my chest as he pulls me up against him, wrapping me tightly in his arms, "You want me to beat the little shit for what he did to you?" I snort again, what happened between me and Jake was between me and Jake, he needed to understand that. I pull my head back and flash him my glare.

"And what if I liked him kissing me?"

Paul's eyes flash and my heart jump starts, sometimes I was so stupid, _why didn't I think before I spoke!? _A sly look then clouds his eyes, hiding his true feeling from me, he glances up and I follow where he is looking, a little sprig of mistletoe is hung in the archway above the front door, my eyes widen and I meet his once more.

A cocky smirk lights up his features and he brings his head down near mine, my heart speeds up for an entirely different reason and I realise I don't want him to kiss me, not today, not after what had happened, I close my eyes waiting in anticipation.

His lips land on my forehead and the breath rushes out of me, Paul lifts his head and smiles at me, this time softer than the other, he leans in again and bumps his nose against mine, "I'm not him," he whispers to me and then releases me and jogs off into the forest.

I shiver in the open doorway without his warmth around me and close the front door.

~OE~

Jake tries to catch my attention one more time but I make my way over to Leah and plop down on the couch next to her, sensing something is wrong she sends Jake a killer glare, effectively keeping him at bay.

I glance around the room, my eyes travelling from the tree in the corner, heavily decorated from top to bottom, wonky star adoring the top, to the tinsel and reefs and lights placed around the room and lining the fireplace. I smile at the family effort; the place definitely looked more festive, I then sigh.

Jake had messed up today, his harsh words still fresh in my memory and cutting me deeper and deeper the more I thought about them.

Eventually the Black's leave, I make up the couch for Sue and Seth resides to Charlie's room, Leah and I make our way upstairs too, yawning as we go.

I use the toilet, pull on my sleep clothes and throw myself back on the bed, what a day it had been. I roll under the duvet thankful in some ways that this day was finally over and close my eyes.

I dream of hot kisses, to my cheeks, my forehead, my nose and my lips.

Problem is; I can't tell whether they are from Jake or Paul.

**A/N: Review if you like :)**


	14. Conflict

**A/N: Thank you for all the Reviews/Alerts, they make me feel good inside.**

**Not Beta'd, so any mistakes are my fault.**

**A lot of you had a varied reaction to the Jake/Bella kiss, let me explain, if a normal human had kissed her [e.g. Mike Newton] she wouldn't have had the same reaction, it will become clearer as we go on.**

**Enjoy :)**

_15__th__ Dec [Morning]_

I switch of the blow dryer and shake out my now dry hair, the sound of the home line ringing greets me, I huff and pick up my brush working it through my hair as Charlie finally answers it. I had woken up later than expected- at noon- and although I felt better for it, I still felt cheated out of hours that could have been spent performing therapeutic cleaning.

The Clearwater's were gone when I had woken up and the phone had not stopped ringing, I drop the brush and put my hair into a high ponytail then twist it into a bun, I pick up the brush and turn it in my hands.

Jake had been trying his hardest to speak to me and I could tell Charlie was getting irritated since neither of us would tell him why we weren't talking; correction, why I wasn't talking to him.

"Bells?" Charlie shouts from downstairs, I get up off the bed and stick my head out of my door.

"Yeah, Dad?"

"It's for you!"

"On my way." I shout, I throw my brush back into my room, it lands on the bed, bounces, then falls to the floor, I scowl at it before making my way down the stairs. Charlie hands me the phone then returns to the living room, can of beer in his hand. "Hello," I say breathlessly.

"'Sup Little Red?" A husky voice answers, my heart staggers and I grin into the receiver.

"Peach!" I squeal, he snorts at me, and I giggle.

"You gotta stop saying that," I can tell he doesn't mean it.

"But then you'd be upset, come on Paul, don't pretend it doesn't make you smile," I hear movement on the other end, rustling, like maybe he had just woken up, the husky note to his voice adds to this.

"You're right, anyway, I was thinking maybe you could come down to La Push earlier, before the bonfire, we could hang out," my heart flutters beneath my chest.

I stutter, "Uh- I-I don't think I'll be able to make it, I was gonna cook something to bring with me," I mentally smack myself, "Maybe you could drive down here and stay with me whilst I cook, then we could drive down together, I'd even let you be my taster." I tack on the end in a somewhat enticing manner.

He snorts, "Nah, forget it, I don't own a car and I'm not running there, I've been out all night, you should come to me."

I swallow loudly, I wanted to spend time with him, but the thought of being alone with him, on his territory, for all intents and purposes, made me nervous and uncomfortable.

"Well I won't be able to, I was gonna..." I pause, coming up with the lamest excuse ever, "… the Clearwater kids already asked me over, I wouldn't wanna let them down."

There's a long silence on the other side and I close my eyes, hoping he isn't too hurt and angry by my rejection, he snorts, "Fine, whatever, bye." The line goes dead.

I close my eyes and take a deep breath then hang up the phone, I glance around the kitchen, Charlie pops his head back round the corner, "I'm gonna head to the station now, you goin' to the bonfire tonight?"

I clear my throat and cover my disappointment, "Uh, yeah, I'll be there, are you coming' down after your shift?"

Charlie rubs his forehead tiredly, "Yeah, Billy called before, asked me to," he stretches then drops his arms, "Oh that reminds me, Jake called, _again_ asking for you," I scowl at the floor at the mention of _that _name and Charlie sighs, "He sounded sorry, cut him some slack, Bells, he's your best friend."

I cross my arms over my chest, stuck in a silent stare down with my own father, eventually I give in, "I'm not calling him, Dad, period, I don't _want _to speak to him right now."

Charlie nods, deciding it's best to leave it at that, "So, you uh, have plans with Leah and Seth?" I smile despite myself and turn back to the phone and dial the Clearwater's number of by heart.

Leah answers, "Hey Swan!" I laugh at her enthusiastic greeting.

"Hey, Lee, I was thinking could I come down before the bonfire, say about now-ish and use your kitchen?"

"Sure, I'll be here." She hangs up. I turn back to Charlie.

"Guess I do." Then run upstairs to get my shoes and a jacket.

~OE~

I double back and lock the door, check it, then head to my truck.

The drive to Forks' Mini-Mart, takes all of five minutes, I push my small trolley down each aisle, adding eggs, milk, chocolate, chocolate chips and other things to the basket. "Bella?" A soft voice calls out, I turn to find Angela standing behind me, her twin brothers laughing and mock-fighting, she smiles at me and I return it. One of her brothers bump into her causing her to drop the tomatoes in her hand, she immediately goes to grab them, I lurch forward to help her.

"Joshua and Jason Weber!" they reply with a 'yes' in unison, I don't know whether to be freaked out or impressed, they stop fussing when they notice me and each blush, "Take the cart to the cashier and ask them to start processing, I'll be there in a sec."

"Yes, Ma'am," they say together again, and I admit, this time I'm impressed, Angela turns back to me.

"Sorry about that, Bella."

I shrug and smile, "It's fine must be tough trailing them around huh? How old are they?"

She rolls her eyes, "You have no idea, they're ten." I wince and she nods in agreement, "Uh-huh."

We laugh together for a moment then she eyes my cart, "You havin' a bake-off or something?"

I shake my head, "There's a bonfire, tonight in La Push, I was gonna cook some desserts, take them down there, I'm actually on my way to visit a friend."

"Oh!" She exclaims, "don't let me keep you," I shake my head.

"No, it's fine, I was just picking some things up before I make my way down there."

She nods, "Cool, yeah actually, I think Ben and I were gonna make our down to the beach later on too."

My brow furrows in confusion, "You have another brother?" She laughs at me.

"No, Ben's my boyfriend, er- I mean, we've been dating for three weeks now, it's going... Well."

I smile genuinely at her, "That's great Ang, how come I don't know about this?" She shrugs.

"He's in our English class, I just didn't wanna jinx it before it turned into something, but I trust you." I realise she's talking about not spilling anything to Jessica and Lauren, that would be equivalent to announcing it through a bull-horn.

"I hope it turns out the way you want," I add sincerely, she blushes and adjusts her glasses.

"Me too." A loud chorus of her name comes from the cash registers and she blushes further then points over her shoulder, "I have to go."

I nod, "Yeah, maybe I'll catch you at the bonfire tonight," she smiles and pulls me into a quick hug, I return it.

"See you then," she walks off sending a scolding look to the twins, reprimanding them when she reaches them, I shake my head laughing, their banter reminding me of Seth, I'd have to pay the Clearwater's a visit whilst I was there today. I doubted Leah would be going to the bonfire as Sam and Emily were more or less hosting it.

I grab a couple more things, pick up a few bags of Doritos and then head to the registers, they ring me up, I pay and head to the truck. I head down to La Push, mentally going over the recipe in my head, soon I enter La Push, an immediate calm washes over me.

~OE~

I set out the ingredients on the counter of the Clearwater's kitchen and Leah appraises them with eager eyes. I'd allowed her to 'help' but from what I'd seen before she wouldn't be doing much more than stirring, pouring and measuring. I eyes the stuff myself then mentally curse myself, "Damn!"

Leah glances up at me, "What is it Swan?" I scowl at the stuff on the desk.

"I forgot the flour, how could I forget the flour!?" Leah rolls her eyes at me and my scowl deepens.

"So, just go to the convenience store, the Ateara place and pick some up!"

I send her a pleading look but she just shakes her head at me, "Uh-uh, _you _forgot it, therefore, _you_ will be going alone," I groan and she eye's the cooking chocolate, "Erm, I'll just stay here with the chocolate." I snort.

"Fine!" I make my way out and pass Seth as I leave, "'Sup, Sethy?" he groans at me.

"I told you not to call me that!" I chuckle and make my way to the truck, I vaguely remember where the store is, it wasn't really hard to find anything in La Push. I kill the engine and make my way inside. Quil is seated behind the counter, reading what looks to be a car magazine, he glance up and notices me then.

"Hey Bella, heard you and Jake had a fight."

My smile drops and is replaced with a frown, "Man, word gets around fast here, huh?"

Quil shrugs, "not really, Jake called me last night, and this morning, and after that, he's upset." I shrugs and Quil's eyes widen.

"He deserves to be." Quil whistles low under his breath.

"What did he do?"

I pick up three bags of flour and put them on the counter then meet his gaze fully, "He called me a whore."

Quil rings me up, he doesn't say anything more on the subject; good, that shut him up. He bags them up and hands me my change, "Bella, I'm sorry I bought it up." I shrug again at him.

"Whatever, it's really none of your business," he nods respectfully and make my way out, the door swings shut behind me and I turn back to catch it before it slams too hard. Something stuck in the corner catches my eyes and I instantly brighten as a plan forms in my mind.

I pull out my cell and dial the number on the paper, too overcome with excitement for it to register, after what seems like forever, they answer, "Hey, Uh, I wanted to inquire about the bike you have advertised?"

There's a long pause on the other end of the line, then I hear it, "Bells," the voice whispers, brokenly.

My eyes widen in that famous 'oh shit' moment and then dart to the paper, realising it is in fact Jake's cell number, he speaks again, interrupting me about to slap myself for not checking before I went to dial.

"Bella, thank god! I'm so sorry; I don't know why I said those things to you, gosh! You must hate me; I'm so sorry, I-"

"I'm not interested in hearing your apologies, like I said before, I just wanted to know if and when I could pick up and pay for the bike," I make sure to sound stern and serious, if he thought a grovelling phone call would instantly make us friends again, then he was sadly mistaken, he sighs on the other end.

"Sure, sure, you can come pick it up now." I nod then realise he can't see it.

"I'll be there in five," I say then snap my cell phone shut, sadly I was going to have to face him to get what I wanted. I make it to the Black's and park my truck then hop out, Jake meets me halfway, rolling the bike towards me, I eye it appreciatively then school my expression.

"Bella," he says pleadingly, I shake my head and fish out my wallet from my pocket. I hand him forty and he takes it without a word.

"Can you help me get it in the truck?" I ask quietly, he nods and lifts the whole thing and works it onto the bed, he then takes a sheet of plastic from under his arm and secures it over the top so its covered; good, Charlie would have a fit if he saw me with it.

I nod in his general direction and make my way to get in the driver's seat, I get in and fasten my seat belt, Jake's head appears at my rolled down window, he rests his arms there and leans in, "Bells, will you please just talk to me." I mock gasp at him and send a glare over his way.

"You'd lower yourself to talk to me, Jake? You know, even though I'm now a _whore _and all?"

He flinches at the word and runs a hand through his hair, "I didn't know what I was saying, I swear Bella, I saw his hand on you and saw red, I don't even know how to explain it, but that wasn't me."

My heart softens, I know all this but it didn't soften the blow, nothing would, he should have just kept his big mouth shut, he shouldn't have kissed me. I sigh, "Jake, I can't just forget what you said, what you did, I didn't want to kiss you, I wasn't ready." His cheeks flame a little and I feel even sorrier for him, he nods and stands straight, "I just need some time to accept that you're sorry, a little time away from you.

"I can understand that, Bells, I really am sorry." I nod at him myself.

"I'm going now," I say then turn the ignition on and back out, he watches me go with sad eyes but I refuse to meet his eyes.

~OE~

I turn right out of the Black's driveway and pull an emergency stop.

Paul was stood there in the middle of the road, his arms folded over his chest casually, a glare on his face.

I lean over and open the passenger side and Paul moves to climb in. slamming the door shut behind him, "So nice of you to lie to me Bella," his voice is dripping with sarcasm and I flinch at his harsh tone, he continues, obviously too angry to even bother hearing me out, "You couldn't stop by and see me, yet here you are, at the traitors gate.." he trails of dramatically, I carry on driving, heading to his place.

"So you're friends with him again now, after what he said and did, you just let him back in." I've had enough and I finally snap.

"You know he didn't mean any of those things, you know he was close to phasing and he was hurt!"

Paul snorts and I roll my eyes then sigh, "I didn't plan on going to his place but I did."

He chuckles darkly, "Yeah and you blew me off to go hang with that dickhead."

I shake my head not wanting to ruin my plan, "It's not like that, I can't tell you why but I just needed something from him," he snorts again and I blush realising how that sounded, I close my eyes, "What I meant to say is I'm staying with the Clearwater's, I didn't lie to you about that, I promise, something came up and I drove here."

"Stop the truck."

My eyes widen but I do as he says then turn to him, "Paul, why are you so mad, he kissed me and called me a mean name-"

Paul meets my gaze, his eyes burning with rage, "You selfish b-," he cuts himself off, "are you forgetting what he said about my family, you think I can just forget _that!?_ You really only think of yourself don't you?"

I'm silent, and embarrassed, because he's right, I was only thinking of myself.

He snorts and opens the truck door, "Whatever, I'm done!"

And then he jumps from the truck and walks away from me, I can't stop the tears that run down my cheeks.

~OE~

Eventually I had stopped the tears and driven myself back to the Clearwater's, Leah had given me a questioning look but after shaking my head firmly at her, she had left it alone.

We instantly got started on the cooking, mostly in silence, the siblings only asking cooking related questions now and then.

The sweet treats are almost done when Leah announces that she's going to take a shower and get ready for tonight, with a salute in our direction she leaves, I pop the brownies and cookies out of the oven and place them on the cooling racks we had prepared before.

Seth watches, a hungry look on his face, "No..." I say, it's obvious he was about to ask any second now.

He groans, "Please Bella, just one, they'll still be plenty left for tonight." I point my wooden spoon at him and move it from side to side in a 'no' motion. He grins then makes his way to the counter just as I snap the lids shut, "Good, you're done now," he grips my wrist and pulls me upstairs with him.

"Let's go play CoD!"

**A/N: Review if you like :)**


	15. Hurting

**A/N: We've reached 200 guys, which wasn't even a goal for me, so thank you so much, it means the world and I love to hear what you think, also please don't hesitate to PM me or ask me anything if you have questions! :)**

**Not Beta'd so any mistakes are on me :)**

**[The things that I'm gonna explore in this chapter is purely for fiction purposes only and if you are affected by it in any way then I apologise in advance]**

**Enjoy :) [And keep tissues nearby]**

_15__th__ Dec [Evening]_

Leah finally makes her way down the stairs, Sue had left earlier and I had been instructed to bring both her children and the deserts with me, Leah enters the kitchen and makes her way over to the sink, refusing to meet our eyes. She's wearing a high-waisted sequin pencil skirt that end mid-thigh and an off-the shoulder black loose fitted top, she takes a drink from the glass she filled before and turns to both Seth and I, Seth clears his throat and speaks first, "You plannin' on heading someplace else after the bonfire?"

She just shrugs and finishes her water, "Nope." She meets my eyes and appraises me, "Nice, Swan, I approve." I snort.

"Well now that I have your opinion my life is complete," Seth giggles and Leah rolls her eyes at me, "You look hot, Lee."

She raises a brow at me and I shrug innocently, "I'm secure." We all laugh and pile out and into the truck, I, myself had decided to keep it simple, changing into some black fitted jeans and a purple light sweater. I wasn't in the mood to impress anyone really, I was actually feeling quite depressed after what had gone down this evening.

We ride the short distance to the beach and Seth takes most of the treats from me, running down to where the crowd has gathered. I watch him, making sure that he makes it to a table safely without dropping the fruits of my labour. When I'm satisfied I turn and link arms with Leah.

"I really didn't think you would come here tonight, Lee."

She shrugs, "I'd have nothing better to do, you'd be here, so would Seth and Mom, I'd be sat there all alone," she shrugs again for good measure. When we reach the crowd a tall Native American girl bounces over to us, "Oh god!" Leah whispers dramatically under her breath. I furrow my brow then turn back to the girl, she's not as tall as Leah, but has similar high cheek bones and straight black hair.

"Leah!" she squeals and throws her arms around Leah's waist, effectively pushing me away from them, I raise a brow at Leah over the girl's shoulder and she mouths 'help' at me. The girl finally breaks away and holds Leah by the shoulders, "It's so good to see you! Can you believe it?! Sam and Em are getting married and hav-"

I cut her off by walking into her line of vision and standing shoulder to shoulder with Leah and stare the girl down, what was she thinking, bringing that up, was she crazy?! Leah sighs beside me and the girl finally let's go of her, narrowing her eyes at me.

Leah clears her throat, "Erm, B, this is Jennifer," I stick my hand out to her to be polite and she smiles tightly at me as she takes my hand, "She's, Erm, Emily's sister." My eyes widen and the girl- _Jennifer _beams at me, either she is extremely stupid or she doesn't know about Leah's past, and looking at her I can't be sure.

"Yep! That's right, Leah and I are cousins, and I'm Emily's sister, soon to be-"

I stop listening as Leah nudges me with her elbow and nods in the direction of Sam, I follow her gaze and almost gasp, he's kind of checking her almost, staring at Leah almost appreciatively but also disappointedly, as if he isn't okay with her being dressed like that in front of all the guys here tonight, I sigh under my breath, _you and me both Buddy._

He meets my eyes then and winces, I shrug at him and then smile, he gestures me over and I make my excuses then leave Leah's side, the Jennifer girl happy to have all of Leah's attention and Leah begging me with her eyes not to go.

"Hey, Sam, Emily," I reach them and Sam pulls me into a warm hug, I return it firmly, squeezing his waist, Emily hugs me then too.

"You made it! Sorry about my sister by the way, she's like that around people." She says and I smile at her.

"It's fine Em. And I couldn't deny your offer, it'll be fun, ooh, I made cookies and brownies, I hope that's okay."

Emily winks at me, "It's perfect."

She offers me a drink and we make small talk for a while, "Well look who we have here," another muscled arm comes up over my shoulder and I turn to see Jared standing next to me, a petite Quileute woman clutching his hand on his other side. I laugh at him.

"Hey Jared." He smirks down at me and I begin to frown, sure it must have something to do with –gulp- Paul, he starts as if he just remembered something and brings his hand forward effectively bringing the girl forward.

"This is my Kim," he announces proudly and I smile at them both seeming so in love, Kim blushes and steps forward to take my hand.

"Nice to meet you, Bella." I raise my brow at how she knows my name but she just blushes further and gazes up at Jared.

"Bella, Kim?" Both of us turn to find Emily gazing at us, "do you mind helping me set up the table's food," I follow her, leaving Sam and Jared behind.

~OE~

"And then…" Jessica trails off, "… he kissed me!" The outrage in her voice almost makes me snort out my coke, the guys from school had arrived a short while ago in Mike's suburban, and I had met Ben and found that he and Angela were in fact perfect for each other, she had blushed profusely when I had told her that.

I cut my gaze to Jess, "What did you expect, he took you out on a romantic date and walked you to your door, isn't that what comes next, like tradition?"

Jessica snorts, "Tradition my ass, we've only been dating two weeks." She folds her arms over her chest and sticks her chin up. I laugh at her and eat a couple more French fries.

"You mean beside the two months that you dated before that and then the three weeks before that, oh and he was your date to prom, don't forget that." I send her a pointed look and she glares at me.

"That doesn't count, this is a fresh start for both me and- Mike! Hey Baby, how are you?" She rolls her eyes as he sits down on her other side and kisses the side of her head, I smile at them."

"'Sup Bella?"

I shrug and roll my eyes at Jess' pleading look, I scan the crowds of people not particularly sure who I'm looking for, Charlie meets my gaze over the small fire in the middle of the pit and raises his beer at me, I smile and get to my feet, "I'm gonna go say hi to my Dad, I'll catch you guys later."

Jessica gives me the 'don't you dare look' but I ignore her, finding the fact that she hates Mike's PDA hilarious.

"Hey Dad," I lean down and give him a hug.

"Hey Bells, you okay?"

I nod, "I'm fine."

"Bella," Billy smiles at me from where he sat on Charlie's other side and I lean down to give him a hug too.

"Bells?" I freeze and turn slowly, both our Dads are silent as Jake approaches me, "How are you?"

I smile politely at him, "I'm fine thank you." Then spot Leah and Seth over his shoulder, I gesture over to them and he turns to see where I'm pointing and nods, "I'm gonna go meet them." He steps aside and I walk past him feeling like a total idiot, I wanted things to be normal, but was preventing that from happening myself.

Leah eyes me as I approach, "You still hate him, huh?" I roll my eyes and take the half eaten hot dog from her hands and bite into it myself.

"I don't hate him, you know that, I… just don't know what to feel." Leah nods silently and Seth smiles at me.

"These cookies are amazing Bella."

I grin at him, "So were they worth the wait?" he smiles sheepishly and nods his head.

~OE~

Twenty minutes later and I find myself being twirled by no other than Embry Call.

He spins me repeatedly with his right hand whilst his left clutches Mia to his chest, continuously twisting and turning us, Mia giggles loudly in his arms, making happy baby noises and screeching, grasping tightly to his hair every time she thinks she may fall.

I dance with him for what seems like hours, moving in close and out, twirling myself on his free hand, inwards and outwards, Leah and Seth had tired and gone to sit down, but after three cokes, (and one beer that no-one needed to know about) I still had some energy left.

He catches me as I spin in towards him, my back to his chest and then we sway our hips in synchronisation lightly from side to side, Mia puts her hand on my cheek and I go to hold it when someone catches my eye.

The evil glint in her eyes doesn't go amiss and she purposefully arches her back, grinding her ass into his crotch. I swallow and turn around.

Embry's smile drops as he notices my expression, he lifts his head questioningly, I shake my head at him and continue swaying with him, and Mia is quiet now. He turns us again so I am once again facing them.

Lauren turn also, till Paul's back is facing me and smirks at me over his shoulder, I try to ignore her, to focus on the dance between Embry and I, but as she reaches up and lowers his face to hers my heart speeds up and I stop moving altogether. She kisses him, her eyes still on me and then they close in what can only be need.

I swallow loudly and pull away from Embry and begin to walk in the opposite direction of him, I ignore the calls of my name and brush past Paul and Lauren, she smiles at me triumphantly and Paul looks shocked for a second, I face forward and stalk away from the bonfire.

Angry tears make their way down my cheeks, I have no right to be mad at him, he's still mad at me for ignoring his hurt and focusing on my own, I sigh and wipe at my cheeks then notice a some large rocks. I climb onto the shorter ones and then perch on one of the higher ones and stare out at the ocean.

"You saw, huh, Little Red?" His voice startles me and I jump then sigh angrily, he snorts, "You know you have no right to be upset."

I turn to glare at him, his arms are folded over his plain black tee, he's wearing dark jeans and his feet are clad in work boots for once, "I'm not upset," I say but the waver in my voice just makes me sound pathetic.

"Not so nice to be on the other side is it?" My brow furrows for a moment but when I realise what he's implying my eyes widen and I sit up straighter. He continues to stare me down and then reaches into his pocket and pops a mint in his mouth seeming nonchalant.

"I didn't ask for him to kiss me, when is that gonna register with you?! And last time I checked we weren't together! I don't need this from you, you are _not my boyfriend!"_

I go to jump of the rock and storm away but Paul's hand hold me by the hips, keeping me sat on the rock, he kneels between my legs bringing us face to face with each other, I swallow loudly and he watches me with careful eyes, "Easy there, Little Red." His hands hold my hips a little too tight and I whimper, his eyes dart down and loosen their grip slightly.

He meets my eyes fully and I can't help it, tears start to fall down my cheeks once again and I close my eyes, gosh he should just leave right now.

"I don't want to do that, little Red."

My eyes snap open and appraise him questioningly, he smirks, "Yeah, you did say that out loud."

I sniffle and he brings both hands up to cup my cheeks, "I don't know why I feel this way," he whispers, bringing his face close to mine, his breath fans over my face and I inhale sharply as my heart speeds up in apprehension.

"Feel like what?" He shrugs.

"Drawn to you, I can't figure it out, I've asked Sam and Billy but they can't come up with anything either, I definitely haven't impr-…" he swallows, his adams apple bobbing, "I just can't figure it out."

We are so close now, I can feel the heat radiating off of him, surrounding me, a sudden burst of confidence comes over me and I embrace it, "Peach?" I whisper.

"Hmm?"

"Let me help you," and then I lean forward and kiss him. He freezes and the confidence vanishes, I panic and pull away from him blushing furiously. Worry clouds my brain making me doubt myself and I can't help but notice the similarities of this situation and my past 'kisses' with… Edward.

He cups my cheek to bring my gaze to his and then rolls his eyes at me and leans in again, my heart pounds deliciously beneath my chest.

His lips are soft and warm, so warm, and I know I'm no good at this but I try my best, he inhales sharply against me then pushes his lips harder against mine, he takes my bottom lip between his own and sucks gently before biting slowly, I whimper and he pulls away our lips making a smacking noise.

We never deepen the kiss further, just continuing at this pace, breaking apart now and then, making small smacking noises, his hands once again trail down my body and grasp my hips gently yet firmly.

Still shy with my own hands I clasp them at the back of his neck and slowly move my index finger along the soft hairs I find there.

He pulls away again, his eyes still closed and lets out a breath, and I scan his face with my own eyes, searching for any sign of disgust, when I don't find any I begin to relax again. His eye pop open and he watches me, I blush, biting my lip and he smiles, like he thinks I'm cute. He leans in once more and moves his lips with mine, I bury my hands deeper into his hair feeling more practiced, his tongue sweeps my bottom lip and I freeze, unsure if I want that yet, he doesn't seem to mind and continues as we were before.

"Ahem?"

I jump, disconnecting our lips and Paul drops his head onto my right shoulder, I try to calm my staggered breathing and glance to the left to find Leah, arms folded, smirking at me, I blush, "uh, hey Leah," she looks as though she's trying to hold back her laughter and Paul snorts against my neck before placing a kiss there and standing to his full height.

"Can we help you Clearwater? You lost?"

Leah shoots him a glare, "No Lahote but by the way your hands were travelling on my _baby sister's body, _I'd say _you _are the one that's lost."

"Lee…" I groan out in hopes that she'll leave us alone, her glare cuts to me and she shakes her head.

"You, back to the bonfire right now, don't make me tell your Dad on you." She starts to walk away giving Paul and me a moment to ourselves, I sigh and turn to face him, he smiles at me, leaning down and pecks me on the lips, and I smile against him.

"Let's head back Little Red."

He doesn't hold my hand as we make our way back to the bonfire, slowly catching up with Leah and I find that I don't mind, I don't need him to hold my hand, for once in my life I'm not insecure. We catch Leah up and she sends us a sideways glance, glaring at Paul and muttering about how 'if you touch my baby sister again', I roll my eyes and Paul just smirks at me.

We finally reach the bonfire, the fire is ever-burning in the middle and everyone seems to gather round it now, sitting in groups, over the fire I see Emily about to stand up, she stands to her full height then screams, I jump at the sound.

Another scream rips from her and she clutches her stomach falling to the ground, everyone is silent making her cries sound louder, my eyes are wide with horror as I watch a dark coloured liquid runs down her legs, staining her dress, I gulp and turn to Paul, his eyes are wide too and I go to speak to him but he backs away from me, his gaze never leaving Emily.

As he disappears into the forest my attention turns back to Emily, there's chaos, Jared trying to push people back, Embry helping him, Sam is crouched next to Emily on the floor, beside me Leah is frozen in place. A sense of panic rises within me, making me feel sick to my stomach, my body twitches with this _need _to do _something._

I grasp Leah's hand and run forward through the crowd till I reach Embry, he growls at me until he realises it's me and lets me through, I let go of Leah and kneel beside Emily, Sue has made her way over too trying to calm Emily's whimpers. My eyes search the crowd, "Dad!" I shout and he comes up next to me, "The cruiser! Take them to the Medical Centre, with the siren you'll get there faster, hurry!"

Sam lifts Emily and holds against him, Charlie shakes his head at me, "Bells, I've been drinking, I can't."

I want to scream at him, but instead I use a deadly serious voice, "let Sam drive, just get them there now!" Sam disappears with Emily in his trembling hands, the crowd part for them to go through and Charlie and Sue follow. I rise to my feet unable to take my eyes of the pool of blood they've left behind.

Someone shakes my arm and I turn to find Leah gaping at me, terror swimming in her eyes, "What do we do?" she whispers and I swallow past my emotion, focusing on doing what I do best; taking care of others.

"Let's go." I whisper back, she nods and holds out her hand to me, "Help Embry and Jared get everyone home and then meet us at the Medical Centre," I instruct both Jake and Seth as we pass them.

We head to the truck and I get in to drive, Leah is seated beside me, we make it there in record time and I pull up then open my door, a hand on my right wrist stops me from stepping out, I turn to Leah, she's sat facing through the windshield, tears swimming in her eyes, "Lee, you know we have to go in, you gonna be okay?"

She nods and sniffles, "It's gonna be so hard…" she swallows and I sit back waiting for her to finish, "I used to hate her so much, she just… I don't know if I can face her Bella." She meets my eyes then, a tortured look on her face.

I smile softly at her, though it doesn't reach my eyes, "Forget about the past, right now, I think _they_ are what matters most."

Leah nods and then pulls her shoulders back, "The most important thing that could happen in her life and I didn't even know she was pregnant, I need to see her."

I nod and we make our way inside, the receptionist eyes us warily, we make our way to her desk, Leah speaks for me, "We're direct family of Emily Young, any news on her? Can we see her?"

The receptionist lowers her glasses and nods at Leah then tells her Emily's room number, she then points at me, "You are not direct family, so you'll have to wait here." Leah grasps my hand and glares at the woman.

"Family isn't defined by skin colour." I say, then stalk off with Leah before she can catch up with us, we pass Charlie on the way and he says nothing, just pulling each of into a firm hug.

"I'm gonna crash at the Clearwater's." I nod at him then carry on to Emily's room.

As we approach, I see Sam sat on a chair opposite the door, barely holding his quivering form together, Leah tenses, Jennifer is pacing the door muttering to herself, every second or so Sam looks up and glares at her.

Sam's head snaps in our direction and Leah slows her pace, letting go of my hand and walking behind me, Sam sends me and exasperated look and I stalk forward blocking Jennifer's path, "You should go and wait at home." I say in an even tone.

She glares at me, "Who are you to tell me that, you stupid white girl," Sam growls beside us and Jennifer glare weakens as she glances at him sideways, "My nephew or nieces life is in danger and _you _want me to leave."

I cross my arms and nod, "I think it would be best if you did."

She goes to say something when the door opens and Sue steps out, she kneels in front of Sam and whispers something to him, his shoulders slump and my eyes water at the sight, Sue then rises and turns to us girls, "I agree with Bella, you should go and wait at the house."

Jennifer glances around her realising its three on one and snorts before turning and storming out, I meet Sue's eyes, "Is the baby…" I trail off knowing she'll understand and Sue nods stoically. Leah lets out a gasp behind me and rushes forward.

"Mom, can I see her?"

Sue glances over at Sam who is still sat stock still and then nods and disappears down the corridor.

I watch as Leah makes her way over to Sam and kneels between his knees, "I'm so sorry Sammy," she whispers and then kisses the top of his head and goes into the room. I sigh and make my way over to Sam and sit beside him.

His jaw is clenched so tight, and his hands are fisted, his whole body tense trying to fight of the tremors, I reach up and clasp him left shoulder and he jumps, tears roll down my eyes at seeing such a strong man about to crumble, I huff and let go of him.

"Sam," I say in the sternest voice I can muster and his head snaps to me, meeting my eyes, I gesture forward, "Sit on the floor." His brow furrows but he slides off of the chair and onto the floor, he leans his head back against the chair, more tears fall at the hopeless look on his face.

"S-Sam?" He once again meets my eyes, "You don't have to act brave with me." I move forward and pull his head into my lap; he buries his face against my thighs.

Then he breaks.

Sobs rip through his body, shaking the both of us and I curl my body over his protectively, crying silently for the loss of the pack and murmur soft words and condolences to him, he just sobs harder against me, I can feel the wetness of his tears on me.

~OE~

After Sam had gotten back under some semblance of control I had let him go so he could see Emily, Leah had come back out shortly after her eyes red-rimmed, but she looked content, "We're family." Is all she has said as we made our way out, I hadn't been to see Emily, I'd go tomorrow.

I drop Leah of at her house and make my way to Sam and Emily's place, I cut the engine slide down from the truck, the screen door is close but the main door open, all the light are on but the house is quiet.

A figure is sat at the top of the stairs, once closer I recognise Paul, sat there with his shoulders slumped and hands clasped between his knees. I move to sit next to him on the top step next to, "Jennifer asleep?"

He nods, I sigh and lean into his, and he throws his left arm around me and pulls me closer into his side, "Why weren't you there?" I whisper. As expected anger flashes across his face before he gains control, then he just looks sad. He lets me go and moves to sit further down the stair and turns so he's facing me then grasps my hands, I watch him with careful eyes.

"Those things that Jake said about my Mother-," he cuts himself off and tears run down his cheeks, my heart clenches and I lean forward to kiss them away.

"Hey, it's okay Paul, you don't have to say anything."

He shakes his head, "My Mom-," he takes a steadying breath, "What happened tonight, I've seen it before, many times, my Mom got pregnant a lot, she miscarried a lot, I just… couldn't stay and watch." He swallows thickly, "I know that makes me a coward and a shit friend, but I just couldn't."

I reach up and smooth the hair back off of his forehead, "Sam's been in your head before and Emily's a good person, they'll understand, it's okay to be insecure sometimes, Peach, it doesn't make you weak."

He glances up at me and I lean forward and kiss him softly, his eyes flutter shut and there is nothing I can describe him as in this moment beside beautiful.

"It makes you _human._"

**Review if you like :)**


	16. Carols

**A/N: Thank you for all the Reviews/Alerts.**

**Not Beta'd so any mistakes are my fault.**

**Shout out to my sister for the idea of this chapter and my Dad for the song requests. This chapter is more filler than plot, just something to show how everyone is doing after last chapter's events.**

**((Zozz, when you read this, read the Chapter name as Carol(s), without the 's'… get it? *wink*))**

**Enjoy :)**

_21__st__ Dec_

In the following days, I spent most of my time on the Rez, giving Sam and Emily a helping hand around the house, doing most of the cooking and playing chaperone to Emily and Leah's lunches.

Leah had taken to coming over with me and spending time with Emily, the two of them reconnecting after many months apart, it was still awkward for Leah to talk to Sam, but I'd say they were making great progress.

Charlie didn't seem to mind me spending so much time here, more often than not I found him seated at the Clearwater's kitchen table, part-taking in their family meal whenever I went to drop Leah home.

On top of all that I had taken to visiting the Rec centre every day for an hour at least, Emily was a 'scout' there for all intents and purposes but since she was resting I had taken on that role too. Being this busy also meant that I hadn't seen Paul in a while, he was busy too, Victoria had been sighted three times and the pack were pushing themselves to the limit.

Nobody said as much but it was obvious that Jared was calling most of the shots, Sam still stuck grieving and not able to think straight yet, let alone make decisions that could affect the whole tribe.

So here I was, about to pull up at the Rec centre and start my 'shift.'

I pull up the truck and cut the engine then stretch out my arms and yawn, these past few days were taking their toll on me, a sharp knock on my truck window makes me jump and put hand over my racing heart, I reach down and crank open the window, "Hey Jake."

He smiles at me, still carefully, "Hey Bells, you okay?" I nod at him and open the door, step down and shove the keys into my on-the-shoulder bag, Jake had apologised, _again, _several times and we were speaking again, also, Sam had asked me to keep an eye on him, hard to do that if we weren't speaking.

"You ready for today?" I send him a sideways glance and he laughs, shoving his hands in his pockets, "Yeah, me neither."

"Do you think they'll really make us do it, Jake? What if the kids wanna stay indoors."

He raises an eyebrow at me, "They're kids Bells, it's their job to do the opposite of what we want them too." I shrug at him. He holds the door open and waits for me to go through then follows me inside.

One of the organisers come over to us, a smile on her face, "They've decided they want to go out," I roll my eyes and she gives me a knowing look, "I'm thinking we're gonna split into groups of five, you two okay with that?"

"Yeah, that's fine, we're gonna head out now if that's okay." Jake answers before me, stealing my thoughts.

She hands us a list of house numbers and the names of the kids and then walks away, I sigh and turn to Jake, "I'm so not ready for this."

Jake laughs and puts his arm around my shoulders, "Hope you got your singing voice ready, Bells!"

~OE~

"_On the tenth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me…"_

I almost start sobbing… almost. Christmas carolling was my worst enemy, my arch nemesis, yet here I was.

This was unbearable, we'd visited fifteen house so far, half of the houses we were supposed to and I was tired by the sixth, this was pure torture; not to mention the fact that I couldn't sing.

The people in this house smile at us and even sing along, then give the children some cookies and let us on our way, a little boy – Aiden – tugs at my hand and pulls me forward to the next house. Jake's cell starts to ring so I tell them to go ahead and that Jake and I will watch them from here.

I catch the end of his conversation, "Yeah… no… don't worry… it's fine… I'm on my way, Later." He snaps the phone shut a places it back in his pocket.

"You're leaving me," I say accusingly.

He shrugs, "Yeah, Dad needs my help at home," I lift my head in understanding but still can't help but feel disappointed, "Someone else should be coming to replace me though," I raise a brow at him in a silent question of 'who' but he just shakes his head grinning, "Now that would be telling," he shoots me an imaginary gun and walks of leaving me to catch up with the kids.

I sigh, this day couldn't get any worse.

~OE~

"_We wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year…"_

I continue with the song, trying to hold in my laughter as Paul sings along too, six year old Chloe clutching at his hand like he's her hero. Paul had showed up as Jake's replacement, not that I had minded and helped me through the last of the houses.

Right now we were making our way back to the Rec centre, Chloe had yet to let go of Paul's hand, not that I cared, in fact, I thought it was incredibly cute.

We arrive and say goodbye to the kids, sending them off to their waiting parents, this was the last day open for the Rec centre and it would be closed for the holiday period now so at least that would give me a little more time to myself.

I hug five year old Jordan goodbye and turn to find Chloe tugging at Paul's hand, he squats down, but still towers over her, "Merry Christmas, Paulie," she says in her tiny voice and kisses him on the cheek, then turns and promptly runs over to where her parents are waiting.

Paul turns and walks over to me, "What was that about?"

I smile at him innocently and lean up to kiss him, "Looks like I have competition for you affections." His brow furrow and he reaches down to take me in his arms.

"I'm sorry I've been so busy these past days, Little Red, I promise soon we'll have more time." I peek up at him and sigh.

"It's not your fault, things happen, we just have to deal, we're doing fine, I can handle not seeing you every day," a total lie but he doesn't need to know that.

His hands grip my waist and he pulls me in for another kiss, just firm brushes of his lips against mine, "You're right."

I pull back and smirk at him, "Of course I'm right! I'm always right, Peach," I laugh and his fingers loosen on my waist then press in a different kind of way, tickling me, I squirm and try to pull away from him but he moves with me.

"Sto-op," I gasp out and he relents, pulling me close once more and pressing his lips to my forehead.

"You're right, Little Red, you're always right," he sways us a little on our feet, leaning his cheek against the crown of my head, "But just in case you're worried…" he presses his lips to mine and stares deep into my eyes, holing me there with his gaze.

"…there is no competition."

**Review if you like :)**


	17. Christmas-ing

**A/N: Thank you for all the Reviews/Alerts; I appreciate your comments so much, so thank you muchly!**

**Not Beta'd, so any mistakes are my fault.**

**I know the last chapter lacked major plot, but like I said, it was just a filler, so… Also I would like to explain this chapter's name, every other chapter ends in 'ing' as my best friend Zohra pointed out and I really wanted to call this chapter 'Christmas' so we compromised (she wouldn't let me call it anything unless it ended in 'ing') and that's why it makes no sense… **

**Enjoy [this meatier chapter] :) P.s. I love Home Alone 2, it's one of my all-time favourite Xmas movies!**

_25__th__ Dec_

I wake up before Charlie, feeling incredibly warm. I turn to glance over my left shoulder to find Paul still fast asleep, his arms tighten around me as I try to turn to face him but I manage somehow.

He is snoring lightly, hair falling forward onto his forehead, his eyelashes resting on his high cheekbones, I can't help it; I reach up and brush the hair from his forehead. He stirs, letting out a deep breath and turns onto his back, blinking his eyes open. I smile and turn fully on my side facing him.

"Merry Christmas, Peach," I whisper at him and he turns his head towards me, a smile gracing his full lips, lips that I had become quite familiar with over the past days.

"Merry Christmas, Babe," he whispers back and lean forward, catching my lips in a searing kiss; I smile against him, letting him in when his tongue requests entry. We hadn't made it official as a couple yet, and I was okay with that, labels just complicated things and things were complicated enough already.

Paul rolls forward a little so we're facing each other on our sides and brings his hand up to move the hair back off of my face, "I made you something," he breathes at me and then his hand disappears under the duvet, he grasps my right hand and pulls it up till my wrist is exposed. "Close your eyes."

I listen to him and clench my eyes shut, cool fabric winds around my right wrist and tightens, Paul opens my fisted hand when he's done and places an open mouthed kiss to my palm, "Open them." I open my eyes and glance down at my wrist then gasp.

Deep silvery grey cords of leather are banded with red, twisted intricately around my wrist, my eyes water at the beautiful sight and I throw myself at him, winding my arms as best I can around his neck and holding him close, he lies back so I'm laying half across him and his arms come up over my back, pulling me closer.

"Thank you, Paul, it's beautiful, the best present ever, I love it," I place a kiss to his neck and then reach up so I can thank him properly.

How in the world Charlie had agreed to Paul staying over, only god knows.

~OE~

Paul and I are in the kitchen, dancing around each other and making breakfast; he has the radio turned on to some small town station playing Christmas carols, Paul grasps one of my hand and spins me into his chest, and then back out, I giggle and sway my hips, he grins at me and pulls me close once more.

"Ahem." Charlie is leaning one shoulder into the door frame, his arms and legs crossed.

"Merry Christmas, Dad," I say and move forward to hug him; he unfolds his arms and returns my embrace.

"Merry Christmas, Kid." He then turns us so we're both standing facing Paul, "I don't remember giving you my permission to stay the night, Son," he says sternly to Paul.

Paul eyes us for a moment and then sighs, "You're right Chief," I can almost hear the triumphant thoughts of Charlie's mind, "but it's probably 'cause you were so drunk last night, that you don't remember." I gasp and then bust out laughing making my way over to Paul as Charlie's jaw drops.

He straightens and pulls back his shoulders, "Can't blame an old man for having a good time now, can you Son? Merry Christmas," Charlie smiles and reaches a hand out to Paul who moves forward and shakes it firmly.

"Merry Christmas Chief, breakfast?" Charlie nods and makes his way to the table and takes a seat, I roll my eyes at Paul then bring over the coffee and sit with Charlie. Paul places our plates in front of us and then collects his own.

We eat in silence for a few moments; Charlie takes a sip of his coffee and then swallows, "You gonna stay for the evening, Paul?"

Paul nods whilst chewing, "Yeah, Billy said we'd probably make our way over to your place anyway, so I'm just gonna stay, if it's alright with you?"

Charlie finishes his coffee and eyes the both of us, he then sighs and stands, holding his empty dishes in his hands, "Well, I hope you're handy in the kitchen, 'cause I'm heading out, I know what Bells is like in the kitchen on a day like this."

"Hey!" I say in protest as Charlie tries to hide the smile forming beneath his moustache, "I'm not that bad!"

"Sure, sure," he says and kisses the top of my head as he makes his way out.

Paul reaches over and snags a piece of bacon from my plate before I can slap his hand away and I glare at him.

He grins at me, "Guess it's just you, me and this kitchen for a while then, huh Babe?"

I slap his shoulder and walk away from his chuckles and over to the sink and start preparing for dinner.

~OE~

Paul proved to be quite handy in the kitchen, peeling and cutting and stirring when my arms would get tired.

After the veg was prepared and the potatoes peeled and cut, I put the turkey in the oven and started on the washing up. Paul dried silently beside me, "Knock, knock!" a familiar voice calls from behind us and I turn and squeal.

"Merry Christmas Lee!" I rush over and pull her into a hug which she returns with as much vigour as she can manage with the massive sack of gifts in one hand. I pull her back by the shoulders and beam at her, she rolls her eyes.

"Merry Christmas Swan, I'm gonna go ahead and put these under the tree." I nod at her and she moves past me, "Hey Paul," he nods at her and she pulls him in for an awkward one-armed hug. When she moves into the living room I raise a brow at him but he just shakes his head.

I sigh and pick a dish cloth and start wiping down the desks, I glance briefly in the direction of the living room and then focus my attention on Paul once again, "What is it?"

He too sighs, and shoves his hands into his front pockets, "She smells good." I raise a brow at him but he just shrugs as Leah walks back in.

She takes a deep breath and puts her hands on her hips, "Is there anything I can do?" I smile at her and gesture her over to the worktop.

"Paul and I need to get dressed; you can make the stuffing balls and cranberry sauce." She wrinkles her nose but dismisses us with a wave of her hand. I grab Paul's hand and lead him up to my room then shut the door behind us.

He stands there for a moment as if he's unsure of what to do and I move around the room, taking out my black stockings and deep red lace dress that I had borrowed from Leah for the occasion, I move over to the bedside table and pick up my hair brush, Paul's warm fingers on my arm make me freeze and I turn to him.

Paul strokes his thumb across my cheek and cups my face in his palm, "It's not what you think, Little Red, I can't explain it, but she smells good in a-"

I cut him off by holding up a palm and side-step him, his hand drops back to his side, I walk over to my dresser and start pulling out the minimum make-up I own, "It's okay," I say, even though I'm unsure if it really is or not, "I know that you guys were… involved before either of you met me, it's okay Paul." I turn back to him and offer him a small smile.

His dark eyes appraise me and he shakes his head, "That's not what I meant, she smells good to me, like family, like the way Jake does, like pack." My brow furrows.

"How can that be?"

He shrugs, "The Clearwater blood line has the gene, and she's been spending time with both Jake and Seth," he shrugs again, "That's the only explanation I have, you smell good too."

I pull out an old necklace that once belonged to my grandmother and lay it against my palm, "So you think we have their scent on us?"

He nods and moves towards me, takes the necklace from my grasp and then stands behind me, putting the necklace on me, I smile, "Is this our thing now?"

"Huh?"

I smile wider, and grasp his hand that is resting on my shoulder, in the floor length mirror in front of us, he towers above me, "You keep putting jewellery on me, Peach." He tips his head in understanding and his arms wind around my waist, he bends a little so his head is resting on my shoulder and his hand grasps mine adorned with the bracelet, he squeezes gently.

"You wanna know the story behind how I made this?"

I stand taller, almost breaking away from him but he holds me tighter, "You made this?" he nods against me and pulls me to the bed, I sit on the edge and he kneels in front of me, bringing us to similar height and then holds both my hands in his.

He snorts and then meets my eyes, "The only useful thing my Dad ever taught me."

My gaze softens and I break one of my hands free to cup his jaw, "Your Dad taught you how to make these."

He nods, "Yeah, it was his trade, he'd sell them at the Tribal fairs and markets in Seattle, which was before he," he pauses and then meets my eyes once again, "he turned into a drunk."

"Oh Paul," I breath and bring his face forward so his forehead is resting against mine, he shakes his head against me.

"I'm okay now Little Red, I have you, and I'm okay."

I fall forward into his arms and kiss him with everything I have, my heart thumps strongly, wildly inside my chest.

~OE~

I shut the oven door and place the golden turkey on the counter to rest just as the front door swings open, "Merry Christmas!" Seth sings, drop the festive looking bags he is holding and pulling me into a hug, I return the greeting and squeeze him tightly, reaching up to place a kiss on his cheek.

"Smells good in here, Bella," Seth announces and then goes and takes a seat at the table, Sue approaches me and I pull her into a hug too, once again she had made dessert whilst I had cooked our main meal.

"Merry Christmas, sweetie," again I return the greeting and Sue too takes a place at the table next to Leah, reaching over to hug her daughter, Charlie walks in and pecks me on the cheek before resting at the head of the table, saying hi to the Clearwater's. Billy and Jake enter next and I lean down to hug Billy, Jake follows me over to the counter.

"Wanna help me take this stuff over to the table?" I say placing a dish of mashes potatoes in his hands, not really giving him a choice on the matter.

"Merry Christmas to you too, Bells," he holds the potatoes in his hands and reaches down to kiss my cheek, I sigh against him and relax, getting the meal ready had taken its toll on me, I smile at him when he stands to his full height again and mouth the words to him, he smiles knowingly and gestures to the gravy boat, "I'll come back for that." I nod and let him go.

"Merry Christmas Everyone!" Paul says as he enters, a chorus of the same greets him and he smile and brings the bags of groceries over to where I'm stood, he leans down and pecks my lips, I huff and stare up at him.

"Well?"

He sends me a sheepish look, "They were out of ready-made custard, so I got cream instead." I make a face and he laughs then empties the stuff out of the bag and starts to put it away, Charlie clears his throat from the table and shoots me a meaningful look, I roll my eyes and put a hand on Paul's back.

"Go sit down, we'll do that later," he nods and goes to take his place. I grasp the turkey tray carefully, watching as the streaky bacon on top sizzles still warm from the oven, I move carefully over to the table, Seth takes a crack at my balance, warning me not to drop it and Leah slaps the back of his head.

I smile proudly as I reach the table and place the turkey in the centre. We hold hands around the table, I take Leah's in my left and Paul's in my right, "May we all be blessed with good health and luck, may we all be nourished by this fruitful meal and many more together as a family…" my brow furrows at Charlie's prayer, it sounded as if he'd googled it last minute, "… and for god's sake Seth, stop trying to steal that piece of bacon. Amen."

Laughter breaks out and we repeat the 'Amen', it's silent for a moment and I look at Leah unsure of what happens next, Charlie clears his throat again, "Well, what are ya'll waiting for, dig in, fill your plates, whatever, just make sure I get me some of that stuffing!" I grin at Charlie and he winks at me then continues filling his plate.

I take a moment for it all to sink in, being here surrounded by my family, people I loved and who loved me, I wonder briefly if I ever would have experienced this feeling if the Cullen's were still around.

A tell-tale stroke to my left elbow pulls me from my thoughts and I fill my plate too. Once everyone has food on their plates, Charlie raises his beer, "Enjoy the meal that Bella worked on all day guys," he then eyes me with a serious look, "I want everything on your plate finished young lady, you hear?" I nod and smile innocently at him, "Well then, dig in."

Everyone starts eating and soon moans of culinary pleasure fill the kitchen, I take a deep breath, a satisfied feeling of having taken care of my family warming me inside, Leah nudges me and gestures to our plates, I sneak a stealthy gaze over to Charlie and then give her the go-ahead,

She spoons her carrots onto my plate and I give her my sprouts, we laugh quietly and when I turn to Charlie he's giving me the parent stare down, I lift my soda and grin at him then take a sip.

"Hey Bella," I divert my attention back to the rest of the table and Seth, "Can you pass me the mashed potatoes?"

I roll my eyes and hand them to him.

~OE~

The parents, Seth and Jake had retired to the living room where dessert was to be served and were trying to pick out a movie.

I was sat in the kitchen, beneath the telephone on the wall, whilst across from me Leah and Paul were washing up, I dial Renee and wait as it rings, "Baby!" she cries and I grin at the enthusiasm in her voice, "Merry Christmas!"

"Merry Christmas to you too, Mom, how are you, how was dinner?"

Mom groans on the other side and I can imagine her rubbing her forehead, "A disaster Baby, it was a disaster without you, we're still alive though so don't worry," she giggles at her own joke and I smile with fondness, sometimes, I missed her innocence, "I miss you Baby," Mom says, stealing my thoughts.

"I miss you too Mom, I really do, dinner here was great, it went well," Leah winks at me and I roll my eyes, "Dad could hardly move he'd eaten so much." Mom laughs.

"Yeah, that sounds like Charlie, how is he? And everyone? Are you having a good time?"

I nod, "It's great, everyone's fine, Mom, I'm having the best time," I lean my head against the wall, "I wish you were here,"

"Aw Baby," Renee cries, "You'll have to come visit soon, it's been too long, Phil and I had some work done on the house and-" she cuts herself of and I hear muffled speech in the background, "- Sorry Baby, that was Phil, he says 'hey',"

"Tell him 'Merry Christmas' from me, Mom."

"I will sweetie," she pauses, "I have to go now honey, Phil invited some friends round and well, you know, I'm playing hostess."

I nod again, "Okay Mom, I love you, enjoy the rest of your day, oh! Did you get my gift?"

She squeals, "Yes, Aw I loved them, so much, and I love you!" the candle set had been a hit then, I sigh with relief, "Did you like mine?"

I grin, at my request, Renee had sent me a simple yet statement make-up set, all part of me giving into the peer pressure that accompanied being friends with Leah, she had loved it more than I had, "It was great Mom, and I look forward to using it."

"I love you Honey, I'm gonna go now, call me soon, kay?" I smile into the receiver and lift my head off of the wall and then stand.

"I will Mom, love you too, bye." I hang up the phone to find Leah grinning at me, "What?" I ask furrowing my brow.

She shrugs and puts away the dish in her hands, Paul is no-where to be seen so I figure he's made his way inside with the rest, "Your Mom is awesome."

~OE~

_Home Alone 2 _is playing in the background as we mostly sit on the floor surrounding the tree, I hand Jake his gift from both Leah and I, we had decided to give joint presents this year, more like I had been shopping for the gifts and she had begged me to put her name on the tags too.

Jake shakes the box and behind me Paul sniggers, he had _persuaded _me to tell him what it is, and I had given in. Jake narrows his eyes in our direction then gives in and tears off the paper, the room erupts into laughter and I clutch my sides at the look on his face, there's a flash of light and I realise Sue had taken to snapping pictures of everyone.

He looks down at the gift in his hands and then back up at me, "What the hell?"

I grin and glance over to Leah to see her expression mirroring mine, "Well, you said you wanted something leggy and blonde." I shrug and everyone laughs again as Jake stares down at the Barbie doll in his lap with mock disgust and then joins us laughing.

"Here Bells," he hands me a small box, an anxious look on his face, I carefully tear of the shiny red paper to reveal a small velvet jewellery box, I gasp.

"Oh Jake! It's beautiful!" he rolls his eyes at me.

"Bells, the gift is_ inside_"

"Oh…" I lift my head in understanding and take of the lid then gaze in wonder at the content. Another flash lights up the room as Sue captures the moment and I glance up at Jake and then lean forward pulling him into a hug, "Thank you!" I squeal and he chuckles.

"Glad you like it." Against the soft fabric inside the box, a tiny russet coloured wolf charm is placed. I poke at it delicately with my finger as I sit back against Paul, he leans down to get a look too.

"I could attach it to a bracelet, so you could wear it," I glance over my shoulder him, and he grins, "and then I can put it on you," I mirror his grin, "'cause that's our thing now." He moves forward and catches my lips; a loud throat clearing breaks us apart and I blush and duck my head whilst Charlie glares at Paul, his right hand tightening around the new fishing rod he had received from me (and Leah).

I stand and Paul glances up at me, I hold out a hand to him and the room goes quiet, "Follow me," he stands to and sends a confused look around the room, everyone suddenly seems interested in the Barbie doll and continue to go about their own business.

Paul takes my hand and I lead him into the hallway then reach for my coat, he helps me put it on, "Where are we going Little Red?" I shrug and open the front door, leading him out to the porch then down the stairs, his firm grasp on my arm stops me, "Babe, what are we doing out here?" I take his hand in mine and lean up to kiss him.

When we break apart he grins down at me and I smile back, "You got me a present and I got you something."

"And we have to be out here for you to give it to me?" there's a devilish look in his eyes and I squeak whilst blushing and then slap his chest.

"Nooo… it was too big and heavy for me to wrap up and put under the tree." I turn grasping his hand once again and then pull him over to my truck, I release the flatbed so I have room to stand.

Two hands grasp my hips as Paul hoists me up so I'm now standing on the flatbed, I lean down and try to shake some rain water off of the plastic and then pull it off with as much force as I can muster, I move towards the dark shape and stand it up in the flatbed and then lean it against the side of the truck.

I turn back to Paul, a shy smile on my face and then whisper, "Merry Christmas Peach."

His eyes appraise the motorcycle, roving over it again and again and then flickering to my own gaze, I smile wider at his reaction, glad to have surprised him. He takes a deep breath and then his gaze rests on mine, the fire in his eyes stops me for a moment and my smile drops; something was wrong.

"What is this?" he demands and I swallow and lean down to touch his shoulder but he jerks back from me, "Answer me!"

I flinch and clear my throat, "Paul, you said you had no car, I was just doing something nice for you."

"I don't need your charity, Bella," my eyes widen and I sit down at the edge of the truck dangling my legs.

"Paul, that's not why I'm giving you this," I say quietly but he shakes his head.

"I've managed fine before I met you, I'm not a charity case, and I don't need you." He turns and walks away and I slip down off the edge of the truck and move towards him, I grab his arm but he pulls it out of my grasp and stalks away, down the road.

I watch him for a moment and the move then go to follow him, "Bells?" Charlie's voice stops me and I turn back to find Charlie stood on the top of the porch. "Why don't you come inside, Sue's about to serve dessert," I try to blink past the tears and nod making my way towards him, Charlie wraps an arm around me and pulls me into his side, "He'll come around Bells," I nod and walk inside with Charlie.

"Dad?" I sniffle a little and gesture towards the stairs, "I'm just gonna go to the bathroom." Charlie nods and makes his way into the kitchen.

I lock myself into bathroom and walk up to the sink, I turn on the tap, and wet my washcloth and then dab under my eyes, the home line rings as I rinse out the washcloth, put it to the side and dry my cheeks.

"Bella!" a voice calls up the stairs and I open the bathroom door and stick my head out.

"Yeah?"

"There's a call for you!"

"I'll be there in a second!" I glance in the mirror and take a deep breath and then make my way out and down the stairs, I grasp the receiver off of the counter and hold it up to my ear, "Hello?"

"Merry Christmas Baby!" my brow furrows.

"Jared?"

I hear a grin in his voice, "Damn straight it's me, how ya doin?" I find myself grinning as I think up the most ridiculous response I can muster, after all, it was Jared I was talking too.

~OE~

After talking with Jared, Sam, Emily and Embry, they had finally let me go and I joined the rest of the family in the living room, the movie was nearly ending; I sink into the couch between Jake and Leah, "You okay?" she mouths at me and I smile and nod, "Where's Paul?" my smile drops and I shrug.

We focus on the movie and Jake and I glance at each other and then burst out laughing as the little boy throws a brick at the tall bandit and it hits him in the face, Jake nudges me and gestures over to Charlie, the look on his face makes me smile wider and I look at Jake.

"Man, Charlie, the way that little kid caught those bandits could give you a run for your money and have you outta of a job in no time, and he's much cuter to look at than you are," I laugh along with Jake and Charlie grumbles at the screen and tips his beer up to his lips taking a long pull.

The front door closes and my hear speeds up as Paul strides back into the room, he makes eye contact and sits between mine and Leah's legs on the floor, Seth glances at me from across the room and rolls his eyes and I blush.

Sue rises from her place next to my dad to warm him up some apple and blackberry pie, Paul lays his head against my knees as his left arm encircles my legs holding them close him, he stares up at me, "Sorry," he mouths, I shake my head and smile at him, letting him know I forgave him and he grins back at me, "Thank you," he says and the kisses my right knee and lays his head back down.

~OE~

Billy and Jake make their way towards the front door, Charlie and I trail them, "So, you guys will make your over to our place for New Year's Eve?" Billy asks.

"Sure thing, Billy," Charlie says, he moves aside to let Paul past.

"I think I'm gonna head out too Chief, thanks for everything," Paul make his way over to the front door but Jake stops him with a hand on his arm, I stop breathing as my eyes scan the interaction before me, Paul look to Jake, "What?"

Jake grins at Paul and then shrugs, "You need a ride?"

Paul grins too and they both look to me, "No thanks, I got my own ride," I blush as Paul winks at me and then goes to make his way out.

"Er, son?" Charlie clears his throat and Paul turns back to face us, "Wait a sec," Charlie turns and reaches into the closet under the stairs rummaging and mumbling until he finally appears again, a huge black helmet in his hands, "Here you go, Merry Christmas," he thrusts it into Paul's hands.

"Thanks Chief, but I really don't think I'll be needing it"

Charlie rolls his eyes, "You may think you're superman, Son, but I know for sure that my little girl will end up on the back of that bike," I blush once again and the guys laugh.

"So, you better make sure she wears it, or else…"

**Review if you like :)**


	18. Fever

**A/N: Thank you for all the Reviews/Alerts, your comments are appreciated!**

**Not Beta'd, so any mistakes are my fault entirely.**

**I posted a JxB One Shot called 'Saying No' if any of you are interested in reading it. But for a while, updates may be scarce, my final exams are fast approaching and I'm going to be busy studying, though I will try not to leave you guys for that long. I will be updating still, just not regularly.**

**Enjoy :)**

_28__th__ Dec_

I woke up early with cleaning on my mind; the clock read 7:00 am, meaning I was awake before Charlie; I take full advantage of this and shower for longer than usual, washing my hair and running the razor over my legs carefully.

The post comes through the door just as I make my way downstairs and I lift in from the floor and make my way to the kitchen then set it down on the table, there was nothing there for me anyway. I start on the coffee and pour myself a bowl of cereal.

When the light turns green I take the coffee and pour myself a mug, I hear the hot water come on and then pour Charlie a cup too, he'd be down within the next five minutes.

Right on cue he walks into the kitchen and takes his mug in his hands and takes a sip, "Morning Bells," I bring over the cereal and milk to the table and Charlie fetches himself an empty bowl.

"Hey Dad, what time you working till?"

Charlie sits back at the table and adds cereal to his bowl and then milk, "Don't wait up for me, I'm doing the graveyard shift, training my new intern."

I glance up at him, "You have an intern?"

He shrugs, "Yeah, some kid from your high school wants to do unpaid work for experience," Charlie shrugs again, "Figured I'd help him out." I lift my head in understanding and sit opposite him, finishing my breakfast. Charlie clears his throat and I glance up at him.

"He's actually gonna pick me up in about five," I nod and take my empty dishes over to the sink and then wash them, just as I'm drying my hands on a dishcloth the doorbell rings, "You mind Bells? I'm still eating." I roll my eyes at him and then make my way to the front door.

The doorbell rings again impatiently and I glare at the front door, fumbling with the keys until I finally select the right one and unlock the door, it swings open and stood before me is a tall, dark haired, handsome man, and I'm not talking about Paul.

His straight black hair is cut short, but not buzz cut short, the hair on top of his head is a little longer allowing some to fall onto his forehead, his eyes are dark and lead down a straight nose, he's extremely tall yet well built, not as muscular as the wolves but I can still see the definition of muscle beneath his tight black t-shirt.

He sticks out his hand, smiling at me and flashing me the dimple in his right cheek, I hold onto the door frame and then mentally slap myself and stick my hand out to meet his, he grasps it firmly and brings it up to his mouth and places a kiss atop my hand, _holy hell!_

"Good Day, M'Dear!" He says in a strikingly British accent, my mouth goes dry as I try to find the fastest way possible to contact Leah.

"H-hello," I stutter and then pull my hand out of his and straighten up, "I'm Bella, Charlie's daughter," he nods and steps forward then pauses, I take a step back.

"Nice to meet you, Love, my name is Zohar." He winks at me and I try to find some composure and then move aside.

He cocks his head, "Are you not going to invite me in, Love?" A tiny flicker of a memory distracts me, Leah making me watch the _Vampire Diaries_, telling me it was all part of the healing process, not that she knew it hit home more than she could ever imagine, she just thought looking at all the attractive men would distract me. They had to 'invite' vampires into their house.

I smile at him and nod, "Zohar, would you like to come into my house?"

He smiles back and steps inside, "You were thinking of the Vampire Diaries too, weren't you?" I laugh and shut the door behind us then move towards the kitchen, he follows closely behind.

"So you're at Fork's High?" he nods as we enter the kitchen.

"I enrolled there shortly before Christmas, my family were tired of the city life in London and decided we needed a change of scenery, Good Morning Chief," he moves over to shake Charlie's hand and then takes a seat next to him.

"Would you like some coffee, Zohar?" he shakes his head at me and I grab a dishcloth and wipe down the counters, "You're here from London? That's a huge change of scenery!"

"The kid's Dad is writer, they moved here for it to be more convenient and I expect you to be nice Bells, it wasn't long ago that you were the new kid," I roll my eyes and Zohar winks at me grinning, I find myself grinning back. There was something about him that made me warm to him immediately; maybe it was because he had an awesome accent that I couldn't wait to share with Leah.

Charlie finishes his coffee and then stands and stretches, "Well Kid, let's be on our way," he kisses the top of my head and then walks out, Zohar stands too and makes his way over to me.

"I'll see you soon, Love, I can tell we're going to be great friends," I blush as I watch his retreating figure and then the front door closes. I continue washing down the counters and then realise that he had called me 'Love', and I hadn't minded.

~OE~

By noon I am bored out of my brains.

The house was clean from top to bottom, the washing done, vacuuming done, even my dirty clothes hamper was empty, I sit at the computer desk chair in my room and spin myself round until I'm dizzy then move over to my bed and collapse on my back.

An idea forms in my mind and I turn onto my stomach and then reach for my cell off of the bedside table and dial Paul. "Hey Peach," I say when he answers, "What are you doing today?"

He sighs on the other end, "I got in from patrol about five hours ago, just got up. You okay?"

"Nooo…"

I hear shuffling in the background and then silence, "What's wrong?" he demands and I roll my eyes and huff.

"Nothing, I'm just really bored, can you take me for a ride on your new motorcycle?" I try my whining voice on him, it usually worked with Leah.

He sighs again and I grin, knowing I had him, "Fine," he says and I squeal, "I'll pick you up in twenty."

"I'll be waiting," I sing into the phone and then hang up and rushing to my closet for some suitable bike riding clothes.

~OE~

"I am not wearing that." I state, putting on my most serious face, Paul grins and puts the helmet on me anyway, "Ugh! It's so heavy!" I whine uselessly.

"Did you not hear your Dad threaten me? You're wearing it, no questions asked!" I huff and he moves to straddle the bike once again and then holds a hand out to me, I take it and straddle the seat behind him cautiously, once I'm seated I wrap both my arms around his slim waist and hold tightly, "You ready?" Paul asks and I nod, leaning my helmet-clad head against his back.

His body jerks and then the engine roars to life, I squeak a little, an exuberant grin lighting up my face as we jerk forward, and then we're off, the helmet holds my hair down some, but it flaps against my shoulders in the breeze.

We drive around for a while, Paul's shoulders cover me from the wind mostly and I enjoy the ride, holding onto him tightly, his warm seeping into my clothes and warming me. Underneath my hands, the muscles on his stomach bunch when we turn a corner.

Soon though, he starts to slow down, I lift my head and realise we are now in La Push, about to turn into Sam and Emily's drive, Paul takes the turn and then cuts the engine, and props both of his feet on the ground holding us up.

I grin and pull the helmet off my head and then move off the bike, "That was the best!" I beam at Paul and he returns it, puling me forward by my jacket and pecking my lips. He releases me and then stands himself, kicking down the stand so the bike doesn't fall over.

He takes my hand in his and pulls me along to the screen door after propping my helmet on the seat. The back door is open but the screen closed, we walk up the stairs and Paul taps on the screen and then opens it, letting us both in.

Sam and Jared are sat at the table, Emily is near the counter preparing sandwiches whilst Embry helps her, "Hey you guys," she says and pulls Paul into a hug.

"Hey Em," he says and returns the hug then goes and sits at the table, I nod at Jared and Sam and then make my way over to her and Embry.

"Hi Em," I say and then hug Emily, "Em," I nod over at Embry and he rolls his eyes and leans down, I peck his cheek and he grins down at me.

"To what do we owe this pleasure?" I snort at Embry's choice of formal greeting and pull the cheese from his hands shooing him from the kitchen.

"I was bored so figured I'd make Paul take me joy-riding."

"And was it joyous?" he asks handing me some bread slices, I take them from him and lay down on top of them some ready-sliced tomatoes.

"It was." He nods and then bows and makes his way over to the table, Emily nudges me and rolls her eyes at our antics, I smile at her, "How are you doing?"

Her gaze flickers to Sam and then she shrugs, "I'm doing okay, thank you for everything you did Bella, what you're still doing, I really appreciate it." I shrug and pull her into another hug.

"It's what family do, Em, speaking of family, have you heard from Leah?"

Emily nods, "Yeah she called this morning asking if I had heard from you," I sigh and start cutting the sandwiches into halves.

"We keep missing each other, I hate her new job! It means we can't see each other!" Leah had accepted a job as a secretary at Fork's Hospital and was always either working or 'tired', funny; she still seemed to have enough energy to pick up a random man in Port A though.

Emily smiles, "It'll do her good to get out for a few hours, I'm sure she misses you too though," I nod in agreement and we take the heaped plates of sandwiches over to the table, I take a seat in between Embry and Paul.

I take a cheese sandwich and go to bite into it when a warm hand grasps my wrist, Embry brings my hand up to his mouth and takes a massive bite from my sandwich, and I glare at him whilst Jared and Paul snigger.

~OE~

After we had finished eating Embry and Jared leave to patrol, Paul and Emily were out back, working on some of her plants and flowers and Sam and I were seated at the kitchen table, "How are you, Sam?" I ask, figuring people rarely asked him that question. He shrugs and sighs, rubbing his forehead with his right hand.

"I'm okay, we're getting better," he gestures over to Emily and I nod, "There's just a lot to take into account, there's Embry's Dad drama and keeping Paul in control of his temper and now this," his shoulders slump a little, "It's starting to take its toll."

I reach up and grasp his shoulder firmly, "You can talk to me Sam, you know that right?" his gaze flickers to mine and silent understanding comes over me; there was more wrong than he was letting on.

He sighs and then crosses his hands under his chin, his elbows resting on the table, "Jake is days away from phasing," I nod, knowing that he'd been getting closer, "Paul's going over there to keep an eye on him, but Billy said he gets irritated if any of us are in the house, so I need to ask you a favour."

I school my expression knowing this must be of major importance, Sam rarely asked for anyone's help, "Maybe it's stupid of me to send you there, but I really need you to go and visit him, I need you to just be there with him, and then tell me how he's doing, he won't let any of us close enough to him without getting angry, even Emily, I-"

He stares into my eyes, a vulnerability I'm not used to associating with Sam, lurking in his eyes, "I really need your help with this Bella, Paul will be right outside and should you be in any danger he'd be there straight away." I nod and smile at him.

"Of course Sam, I'll do it, I'm gonna leave right now then," he nods too and rises to pull me into a hug, laughter behind us alert us to Emily and Pauls return from the outdoors, Paul and Sam share a glance and Sam nods and then embraces Emily.

Paul glances at me and gesture for us to leave; I hug both Sam and Emily goodbye and then make my way to where Paul is waiting on the bike.

~OE~

Just as I go to knock on the Black's door, it swings open and Billy rolls forwards, he doesn't seem surprised to see me so I figure Sam must have spoken to him, he tells me he was just heading out and then leaves, Paul greets him on the way and then walks over to me.

He cups my face in his hands and kisses me sweetly and slowly for a minute, I return the kiss, winding my arms around his waist, he pulls back first and brings me closer, resting his chin on top of my head, "You don't have to do this, Little Red," he places a kiss where his chin is resting.

I smile against him, "Yeah I do Peach, I made a promise to myself that I'd be there for him, and I intend on keeping that promise." He pulls me back by my shoulders and nods, I smile again and then lean up to kiss him, he sighs against me and I pull away.

We share a smile and then he lopes off towards the forest. I take a deep breath and then push open the front door and let myself in. I walk into the kitchen and then roll my eyes, there are dishes all over the show, food uncovered on the counter-top and what looks like the whole of the fridge's contents scattered across the opposite counter.

Down the hall, someone coughs and I inhale deeply preparing myself and then walk down the hall until I'm outside Jake's bedroom door, I knock, "Who is it?" a raspy voice answers from the other side, I swallow thickly and clench my eyes shut, he sounds worse than I thought. I clear my throat.

"It's me, Bella, you decent?" he snorts on the other side and then grunts out a 'yes'. I push open the door and step inside.

Jake is sprawled out on his too small bed, covered in thin sheets, the part of his tee shirt that is visible is stuck to his body with sweat, same with his hair, it's stuck to his forehead, I glance around the rest of his room, which is surprisingly clean, just as small pile of laundry on his chair and some papers strewn across his desk.

I turn my attention back to Jake and smile softly, "Hey," he rolls his eyes at me and then grins, it looks wrong on his face though, like it's painful for him to even smile.

"Hey, if I were you I wouldn't come any closer, don't wanna catch this shit Bells, it's the worst." I ignore him and move forward anyway and then sink onto the bed next to him, he eyes me warily and goes to protest, I cut him off by reaching up and brushing some of his sweaty hair off of his forehead.

I immediately pull my hand back as he flinches, "Are you okay?" I ask, my voice slightly panicked, he snorts and then pulls my hand back to him, so I'm now cupping his cheek, his skin burns against my cool hand.

He shrugs, "You just caught me off guard, Jesus Bells, your hands are freezing."

I swallow thickly and stare at him, "Nope, you're burning up Jake," his brow furrows and he goes to say something but then starts coughing, I flinch and rub at his chest trying to soothe him, I coo at him and he settles once again, my heart clenches, he looks in so much pain.

"Tell me what's wrong Jake?" I whisper and he sighs, sinking deeper into the covers, I fuss over him for a minute trying to make him more comfortable and then sit next to him again, holding one of his hands in both of mine.

"I hurt, everywhere, and it's not just a pain, it's bone-deep, and no amount of painkillers will take it away, believe me, I've tried, and I feel so weak, but also…" he trails off and I bring his hand up and kiss it encouragingly, "… I feel so angry, like I might burst, like I did that day in the forest when you went missing, but worse, like I can barely hold it together." I kiss his hand once more and then rise off of the bed.

"You're going to be fine Jake, I know you are," he smiles at me like he appreciates the comment but doesn't really understand what I mean, "Have you eaten?"

He shakes his head and then attempts to grin at me, "Nope, but I'm starved," I nod and move out of his room to fix him something to eat.

~OE~

I wash down the sideboard just as Jake emerges from his room, I drop the rag and glare over at him, "What are you doing Jake?! You're supposed to be resting!"

He rolls his eyes, "I feel bad for leaving you out here all alone, Bells, besides, I can't take bed rest anymore, and I feel irritated, like if I don't move around now, I'll burst." My eyes widen again but I turn my back and sigh, going back to cleaning the kitchen.

"Fine, sit at the table and keep me company," he nods and takes a seat, "Have you spoken to Sam?" I ask, trying to seem as casual as possible.

It silent for a moment and then he whispers, "No, I don't want to speak to him, Dad keeps telling me to but what the hell do I say to him." I turn to the sink and rinse out the rag.

"Tell him about your symptoms, maybe he could help you," Jake snorts.

"Yeah right, and even if he could, I'd never ask him for his help."

I roll my eyes, "He probably knows more than you think, don't you think it's a little weird, you're having similar symptoms to him when he ran away that time? Jake," I sigh and turn to face him, dropping the rag in the sink, "I'm just saying, maybe you should just talk to him."

He stands abruptly, knocking over the chair he is sat in, I jump and squeak a little, he glares over at me, his whole form shaking, I try to back up a little but my back hits the counter behind me, I close my eyes as Jake slowly stalks forward, his quivering form getting closer and closer.

Sam was right, this was a stupid idea.

"Everything okay in here, kids?" Paul voice says and my eyes snap open, Jake is once again seated in his chair, Paul's hand clasping his shoulder to keep him in place, both of their gaze is fixed on me though.

I nod and shoot them a tiny smile, I turn back to the sink and take a deep breath, "Well I think we'll be going now, Black," Paul says and then releases Jake to move towards me. He grasps my hand and goes to lead me out, Jake watches, a scowl on his face, I tug at Paul's hand and he gives me a look. I roll my eyes at him and motion for him to carry on.

When he exits through the front door I turn back to Jake, "You gonna be okay?"

He sighs and stands, rubbing the back of his neck, "I'm sorry Bells," I shake my head at him, letting him know that I forgive him and he snorts, "I feel like I keep saying that these days," he smiles down at me and I smile back, knowing that it more likely than not isn't his fault.

I move forwards and pull him into a hug, holding him tightly round the waist, he brings his arms up around me, one splayed on my back holding me to him and the other cupping my head. I place a kiss on his chest just where his heart is and then pull away, "If you need me, call my cell."

"Will do," he moves with me, walking me out, I turn back and shoot him one last smile.

Before I leave I turn back, "And, just think about what I said about Sam," he doesn't reply, just gives me one nod and then goes to close the door, I roll my eyes to the sky and stomp down the stairs to where Paul is waiting, leaning against his bike.

He opens his arms to me as I approach and I walk straight into them, he sighs contentedly against my forehead and then pulls back, his nose wrinkled, I furrow my brow at him and he shrugs, "You smell like him," he gestures over to the house with his head.

I glance over my shoulder and then back towards Paul, I fight my smile as I reach up and pull him down into a quick kiss and then pull away, I lift the helmet from the seat, glare at it and then put it on.

Paul grins at me, straddles the bike and then holds a hand out to me, I take it and hop on behind him, holding him tightly round the waist, "We better go see Sam, tell him his plan failed," I slap his shoulder and he chuckles, "Nah, I'm just kidding, we should tell him that Jake is closer than we thought though, Baby Alpha almost lost at the mention of Sam's name, this isn't gonna end well."

I nod against him, "I want to be there for him, but he's making it hard to be around." Paul sighs.

"It'll get better, Little Red, he just has to phase, it's not so bad once the pain is over." I flinch against him but he doesn't say anything. Doesn't try to sugar coat the truth, that's one of the things I love about him.

He starts the bike and then off we go, racing down the streets at speeds that have my heart racing, thumping healthily beneath my chest.

In my mind though, all I can think about, is the upcoming challenge of trying to get Sam on my side.

So I can be there, when Jake first phases.

**Review if you like :)**

**((P.s. Zohar is going to be a key character in the future, so it's important that he made an impact on Bella, also he was modeled after my best friend Zohra - who is female, though she didn't mind too much when I told her, her role in my story - also, I am becoming increasingly obsessed with TVD, hence the reference))**


	19. Cancelling

**A/N: Thank you for all the Reviews/Alerts, they keep me going, I guess they're like my fuel.**

**Not Beta'd, so any mistakes are my fault.**

**I had my first exam on Monday, it was painful, but there are many more to come so I'll be updating scarcely, I'm really sorry guys! Please don't hate me!**

**I'm going to mention a sensitive subject in this chapter, so I apologise if anyone is offended, on a high note, I think you're gonna fall in love with Zohar and his banter with Paul, I know I am!**

**Shout out to my cousin, Sonny Singh, whose birthday is on this day [31th Dec], he's fat!**

**Enjoy :)**

_31__ST__ Dec _

I rush down the stairs, running as fast as I can to catch the ringing phone, I slip a little and slide forward on my sock-clad feet, I catch myself against the doorframe and catch my breath before lunging for the phone and lifting it to my ear, "Hello," I say breathlessly, holding one hand over my racing heart.

"Hi Bella, how are you?" Billy clears his throat; I smile and sit in a chair by the phone.

"I'm good, thank you, are you?"

"I'm all good, Sweetie, it's just…"

He trails off and I smile wider, deciding to tease him a little, "You're not cancelling on us are you?"

Billy coughs, "Erm, actually, I, erm, we have to cancel tonight."

My jaw drops and I sit up straighter, "Why? Is everything okay?"

"It is, Jake is really close, Sam wants to keep him on lockdown," I swallow thickly and lower my tone so Charlie won't hear me.

"How close do you think, today?" I ask hopefully, even though I have a feeling Sam and Billy had been 'talking' behind my back about me staying as far away as possible from Jake, I knew Billy wouldn't tell me the whole story.

"He can probably hold on for another three weeks, he's fighting it, he's stronger than the others were so it makes him able to fight it." I close my eyes in defeat, I was right; they weren't going to tell me much.

"Okay, well I'll let Charlie know, should I call the Clearwater's too?"

"No it's fine, Sue called earlier, I filled her in, I should get going now, we'll talk soon Bella, goodbye," he hangs up before I can say anything and I roll my eyes, putting the phone receiver down with more force than necessary.

"That Billy?" I turn to face Charlie as he leans against the living room door frame, beer in hand. I nod and he lifts his chin, "What'd he say?"

I rub my forehead and stand from the chair, "Yeah, he cancelled," Charlie almost chokes on a sip of beer, and I clench my lips to hold in my laughter.

"He just cancelled?"

"Yeah, apparently Jake is getting worse," Charlie's brow furrows and he takes another sip.

"Billy said he was getting better."

I shrug and walk towards him, pulling the beer from his grasp and pouring it down the sink and then putting the can in for recycling, "Hey! I was drinking that!"

"And now you're not, go get ready, I'll call Sue and rearrange.

~OE~

The doorbell rings for the third time and I glare at Charlie's closed bedroom door as I make my way down to answer it, the Clearwater's had invited us over to their place, we'd be spending the day there instead.

I unlock the door and then swing it open, "Hello," Zohar says in a cheery voice, I roll my eyes and step aside so he can come in.

"How are you? And, what are you doing here?" I gesture for him to follow me to the kitchen and he takes a seat at the table, I pour each of us a cup of coffee and bring the milk and sugar over to the table.

"I'm here to give you this," he holds up a bottle of wine wrapped up in fancy plastic wrap and a red bow and then thrusts it into my hands, "and I'm very well, Love, you look stressed?"

I nod in thanks and then roll my eyes again and sit down once opposite him, "I'm fine, one of my close friends is ill so I'm a little worried but other than that," I raise my eyes to his dark understanding ones, "Just New Year drama," he chuckles at me and I lift the milk at him, "How do you take your coffee?"

"Plenty of milk and two sugars," my eyes widen and I glance up at him.

"No way, that's how I take mine!" I fix his coffee and hand it to him, he raises his cup at me and then takes a sip and sighs.

"Now that's what I call a cuppa," my brow furrows as he continues to drink his coffee.

"A what?"

He lifts a brow at me, "A cuppa, a cup a tea or coffee, it's a British expression, you wouldn't understand," I sit back feeling a little offended and drink my own coffee. The doorbell rings again, Zohar gestures towards the front door, "You gonna get that?" I send a glare his way and then rise and make my way to the door. I open it to find Paul standing there, a big gold truck parked behind him.

He leans in towards me and kisses me, I stand on my tip-toes and meet him fully, opening my mouth to his tongue and meeting it with my own, I pull back a little our lips making a smacking noise, "Hey," I whisper against him and then peck his lips again, he tries to deepen the kiss but I pull away, letting him inside and then make my way towards the kitchen, he groans and follows me, I smile as we enter the kitchen, Paul freezes in the door frame.

"Whose this?" he folds his arms and leans into the frame, I glance over to the table as Zohar stands, a dazed look on his face and then he glances down and clears his throat.

"My name is Zohar, I'm working with the Chief," Paul moves towards him and they shake hands, I make my way back over to the table and sit back down, if I'm not mistaken I detect a slight blush beneath his cheeks, the guys sit back and Paul throw his arm over my shoulder territorially.

"I'm Paul," he says and then takes my cup from my hands and takes a sip, I roll my eyes at him, he hates the way I take my coffee, he's just trying to make a point.

I sit silently watching them, Zohar lifts his own cup, his eyes never leaving Paul's, "Don't worry, I'm not here to steal your girl," he takes a languid sip and I feel Paul relax a little beside me, "_she's_ not my type," Zohar then winks at Paul with a whole different underlying meaning and Paul tenses. I almost bust out laughing but manage to hold it as Paul stands abruptly, his chair scraping against the floor.

He clears his throat an uncomfortable look on his face and looks down at me, "Sue sent me to pick you and Charlie up, I'll wait in the truck," then he turns as fast as he can and disappears out the door. I can't hold it in no longer, I full out laugh, meeting Zohar's eyes and he laughs with me.

We quieten down and meet his gaze carefully, "Are you…"

He rolls his eyes at me and leans forward, elbows resting on the table, "Say it…"

"Gay?" I question, nearly whispering the word, Zohar nods in ascent and I lift my head and then take a long from my cup.

"Does that bother you?" he asks all of a sudden and my eyes widen.

"Of course not, it doesn't bother me at all…" I smile at him and then it deepens to a grin, "… although it did have a certain effect on Paul!" we both laugh again just as Charlie enters.

"Hey kids, you alright," I nod and so does Zohar, I pick up the wine and hand it to Charlie.

"A gift from my Father, to your family," Zohar explains and stands, "I just thought I'd pop by and say Happy New Year since I won't be seeing the pair of you until a few days' time," he shakes Charlie's hand and places a kiss on my cheek, "I'll be going now, I'll say bye to that beautiful boyfriend of yours on my way out, goodbye!" Zohar lets himself out and Charlie turns to me a confused look on his face.

"Your boyfriend?" I roll my eyes and reach for my jacket off of the back of the door.

"He meant Paul, Zohar was quite taken by him," Charlie's confusion clears as he puts on his own jacket.

"Ah, he's er, gay." I nod and smirk at the blush on Charlie's cheeks, he always was so awkward when talking about sensitive subjects.

"Yes, he is, Paul's waiting outside for us Sue sent him to give us a ride to La Push,"

Charlie nods as we make our way outside, Paul is sat looking angry and frustrated in the driver's seat, Charlie and I step into the cab of the truck – a loan from Sam presumably – and Paul starts on his way to La Push, Charlie clears his throat, "So why are you driving us, Son?"

Paul sends him a grin and then focuses on the road again, "We both know you won't be able to drive tonight, Sir," I expect Charlie to glare at him but he smirks good-naturedly at both of us and then he winks at me.

"You're such a good person, and it seems I'm not the only one who thinks so today, I'd say our friend Zohar's developed somewhat of a crush on you, Son." Paul almost swerves off of the road and I grasp the dash board, in my peripheral I can see Paul's glare, cutting the front window glass.

I hold back my laughter and lean into Charlie's side, his shoulder's shake in silent laughter against me.

~OE~

We were sat in the crowded living room doing what we did best; watching Christmas movies, _The_ _Grinch_ was blaring from the TV, I was sat wedged between Seth and Leah, munching on popcorn my eyes glued to the screen. Charlie and Sue had once again fallen asleep to our left, Charlie with his arms firmly wrapped around Sue, Leah and I had shared a look over that but decided to let it go.

Paul was sat in the recliner over on our right, he was alternating between watching the movie and watching me, I yawned for the fifth time and Paul rolled his eyes at me.

Seth shifted on my right, leaning into me fuller, making me ever more uncomfortable, whilst Leah shifted the dead weight of her legs in my lap. I huffed and squared my shoulders effectively pushing Seth off of me; I then push Leah's legs off me and stand stretching.

I go to move towards Paul but then turn back and snatch the popcorn from Leah's hands and take it with me, I climb up onto to Paul's lap and sit back against him, his arm comes up around me, holding me to him by the waist and his forehead falls onto my shoulder.

He goes to speak but I shush him, "I like this movie and I wanna watch it in peace," I feel the curve of his lips as he smiles against me and then lowers us in the seat, I turn a little to my right and bring my knees up, resting my feet next to his right knee.

We watch the movie in silence for a few moments, the only sounds coming from the TV set and the occasional munching from me, Paul tries to steal some of my popcorn at one point but a firm slap on the back of his hand is enough to deter him.

A quick glance at the clock above the mirror on the fireplace tells me its nearly midnight, we have five minutes before the New Year, I nudge Paul and he helps me stand from his lap, Leah and Seth glance up at me and I gesture towards the parents, "Should we wake them?"

Leah shakes her head and puts the TV on mute and then they both stand ad we follow Paul into the kitchen, he places four coffee mugs on the kitchen counter and then opens the fridge, retrieving a bottle of cheap bubbly placing it on the counter.

We all glance at the small clock on the microwave, waiting for the inevitable cheerio, I feel Pauls hand on mine, he pulls me closer both his hands on my hips and pecks my lips.

"Ten… nine…eight…" Seth and Leah whisper-chant and Paul and I turn to face them joining in, "seven… six… five… four… three… two… one!"

Paul pops the cork on the bubbly, a little runs down his fingers, "Happy New Year!" we chorus and I kiss each Leah and Seth who return it, Paul hands us each a mug and we raise them, a grin on each of our faces, "Here's to what we hope to be a better year!" I add for good measure and then we drink from our mugs, I close my eyes as I feel the bubbles tickle my tongue. I place my mug down on the counter and grin at the people I love around me.

""Wait," Paul says and I turn to him in confusion, "I didn't get my New Year kiss!" he reaches for me again, sliding the mugs further down the counter and lifts me with ease, setting me down and then steeping between my legs.

"That's my cue to leave," I hear Leah say and then her footsteps fade.

"Mine too," Seth leaves too.

Paul's lips brush mine and then he presses his to mine firmly, we stay like this for a moment, relishing in the feel of one another, before he deepens the kiss, one hand comes up to cup my cheek, whilst the other splays the width of my back, pulling me closer, I open my lips to him, kissing him deeper still, one of my hands on his shoulder, the other buried in his soft hair.

We pull away for breath and he places soft kisses on my face, cheeks and the tip of my nose, I smile and pull him in for another kiss, as he tries to deepen it once again, I pull away and place my forehead against his.

He groans in frustration and I grin at him, he smiles too, this year had started off on a high note after all.

"Happy New Year, Peach," I whisper against his lips.

"Happy New Year, Little Red."

We close the night with a searing kiss.

**Review if you like :)**

**P.s. ** **The Grinch is another one of my all-time favourite movies****!**


	20. Revenge

**A/N: Thank you for all the Reviews/Alerts, special thanks to **_**Jana, **_**who almost spent ****her**** whole life reading and reviewing every chapter one after the other. Even more special thank you to my DINOSAUR, Nikita, babe, just the name makes me smile, love you x**

**Not Beta'd, so any mistakes are my fault****.**

**This chapter is going to skip between POV'S, so if you find that you don't like the way it's written then just hate on me privately, or let me know **_**nicely**_** via review's/PM'S.**

**Thank you to those who noticed my mistake and pointed it out straight away, you guys get a gold star!**

**[I called it 'Revenge', Sonny and Zozz]**

_5__th__ Jan – Ipov_

I run faster, the calming Alaskan trees surrounding me, calming me as I pass them. I smile, an empty smile, a sadistic smile. I knew I'd lost it. For years I'd seen many of my kind lose it over love, I'd vowed to myself and my family that it would never happen to me, yet here I am.

Something about him had pulled me in, his dark skin and even darker eyes, the way he moved and the way he spoke. He had chased me for a while, two months to be exact, then I had given in. My family hadn't taken to him, but it was too late, I was in love with him and their opinions didn't matter.

I stop suddenly, the debris ruffle around me and then settle once again, I close my eyes and lift my head to the sky and take in a breath through my nose. I inhale deeply feeling my throat contract and the venom start to pool in my mouth, I swallow past the burn in my throat and open my eyes scanning the area.

Two unsuspecting hiker's, I grin and then school my expression, deciding to play a little game with them. My fingers reach for a nearby bush and I touch the tiny drops of dew collected there, then brush my cheeks, making it seem as though I've been crying. I stumble forward towards them, a man and a woman, a couple no doubt.

Bastard's, I could smell the sex on them.

The woman rests her head on the man's shoulder and they link hands as they continue walking, they close in on me, soon I'll step out in their line of vision, I close my eyes one last time, relishing in the smell of their blood.

My eyes pop open and I open my mouth and let out a false sob, then scream and fall to my knees, even throwing in some mewling noises, from my peripheral their heads snap in my direction.

They breaks apart and the man runs ahead in my direction, he pulls apart some branches and then he spots me, I swallow as even more venom floods my mouth, and keep up the charade, I scream again and moan out in false pain, the man falls to his knees beside me.

"Are you okay?" he asks frantically and I almost laugh at the pathetic worry in his voice, I moan out again in pain and then begin dry sobbing, I manage to shake my head incoherently.

"Dana, Dana, grab a blanket from the backpack!" His girlfriend drops the bag to the ground and begins rummaging in it, I can smell the fear rolling off of them in waves and it almost makes me moan, this time with need.

"Here you go, Adam!" _Dana _shouts and then makes her way over to us, she also falls to the ground. Adam wraps the blanket around me and then pulls me into him.

"Can you hear me? What's wrong? Are you okay?!" I make my eyes roll back into my head and he grabs me tighter, "Jeez you're freezing!" I almost smirk, "Dana, go call an ambulance!"

"O-okay Adam," she says in a fearful voice and I hear her retreat. Time to eat, I guess.

I open my eyes and stare at the man, Adam, he sighs with relief and lowers his face to mine, bringing his neck closer, I inhale deeply and I can't help as the venom overflows, a little spills from my mouth and runs down the corner of my mouth. I go to lift myself up but he catches me.

He moves closer still, the heavy thud of his heart is now right up against my cheek, parts of my anatomy clench deliciously with desire, I turn my face into his and then inhale deeply, I can't help it, I moan out in pleasure, he smelt so good.

Adam must mistake my moan for pain because he pulls back again, meeting my eyes, I stare into his bright blue eyes for a moment, studying his attractive features, for a moment I feel nothing but the disgusting sting of jealousy and then remorse. I decide not to drag out his girlfriend's life, I knew what it felt like to lose the one you love.

The least I could do was make it quick.

He's still staring in to my eyes, good, I begin to project my thrall and I see his eyes glaze over, I sit up and this time he doesn't stop me. I reach a palm up and cup his cheek, he flinches at the temperature and I grin sadistically at him, his heart speeds up, blood pumping healthily mere inches away from me.

I kiss him briefly on the lips, he stays still, frozen by my thrall, and I lower my lips, skimming his skin, freezing the parts my lips touch until I reach his pulse.

It's at its loudest here and I can't help it, feeling aroused at the way it heightens my senses, my body tightens as I take a deep breath, inhaling his masculine smell, I part my lips and moan.

Then, I sink my teeth into his neck, close my lips around the wound and suck his blood, taking large pull after pull, soothing the burn that has been bothering me since I set sights on them, I drink some more, moaning as I do, feeling fuller and incredibly aroused.

I drain him completely and then stand with his limp body in my hands just as the girl finds her way back to us, she gasps and screams in horror, mmm, she smells divine, I drop the boy's body to the floor and stand for a second as she tries take in what is happening.

My eyes flit to hers and the fear that I find there has me rubbing my thighs together with need, I lift my chin at her and her eyes widen, she turns and starts to flee, I laugh out loud, fully, joyously getting louder and louder and then I run after her, she doesn't make it that far and soon I catch up to her. I run forward and then round back until I'm right in front of her.

She slams into me, knocking her back onto the ground, her nose is bleeding and my senses go crazy at the smell, I move at lightning speed and straddle her hips, sitting on her fully and crushing her pelvis, she screams as her bones make a delicious breaking noise. I pull her up to meet me and kiss her as I did her boyfriend, then I move her hair out of my way and sink forward, drinking my fill.

~OE~

I dip down into the stream and wash and rinse out my mouth, trying to get rid of the traces of blood, there was nothing I could do about my eyes but drinking human blood kept me closer to Laurent, and that's all that I worried about, my families approval meant nothing compared to Laurent.

Stepping out of the stream I put my clothes back on, they'd dry by the time I got home and make my way to the house running once again at impossible speeds and relishing in it.

The house comes into view and I make my way inside, running into the family room and spread my hands out, then scream at the top of my lungs, the sound vibrates through the house and the glass wall shudders as it weakens.

"Eleazer!" I shout and jump up and down, "Kate, Tanya, Eleazer!" I jump up and down some more, "Carmen!"

Kate is first to approach me, I turn to face her, my eyes gleaming, now that I'm back home, other feelings threaten to take over me, I fight hard to push the comfort away and focus on the pain. Kate rushes towards me and embraces me, crushing my slim figure to her own.

She grasps my upper arms and pulls me back, then her eyes widen as she notices something. Her fingertips dig into my marble skin as I feel the effects of her gift on me, electric shocks travel throughout me and I cry out falling to the ground. Kate releases me, hissing at me and kicks me in the stomach. I should have expected as much.

Tanya enters the room next and gasps, "Sister, what are you doing to her?! Stop!" she shouts as Kate lands another blow to my stomach, making a cracking noise throughout the house. Tanya pulls Kate back and I roll over on the floor onto my back, eyes closed, I start to laugh.

I can't control it, the laughter, it keeps bubbling and bubbling, I hear them both calling my name, trying to get me to speak to them, but it's no use, I'm too far gone. I stand suddenly and then open my eyes, meeting them both head on.

Kate is silent, but beside her Tanya gasps, "Your eyes, Sister?"

I flutter my eyelashes and see Tanya wince, Kate continues to glare at me, I send a smirk in their direction and then sigh dramatically, "Y-your eyes are bright red! You've been drinking from h-"

"Yes I have." I cut her off, ripping it off like a Band-Aid, I wasn't like them anymore, I gave into the desire, my beloved Laurent had taught me to do that and it's the only part of me that I wanted to keep.

Tanya holds a hand over her dead heart and starts to sob fearfully, Kate is silent throughout this exchange, "If Eleazer finds out, you'll no longer be able to stay here Irina, you've been reckless and selfish, and you must leave until you can control yourself and then come back to us!"

Kate hisses at her, "Look at her, Tanya, see her for what she is, she's put her love for that loser before us," my anger stirs at her degrading attitude towards Laurent, she always had been a little jealous of me, she sneers at me as if reading my thoughts, "she already _is _no longer welcome here."

I glare at them both and this time Kate sneers, "Did you manage to find him, Irina? I bet you did find him, with another woman, wasn't he? He has someone else, doesn't he? Or did you find him dead? Is that why you look so… crazy?"

My fists clench at their sides and venom fills my mouth, ready to bite her head off, but I manage to calm myself a little, remembering the real reason I even decided to come back here.

"Sister's…" I start, and Kate scoffs, I almost scowl, she was going to be harder to convince, "I need your help?"

"With what?" a sharp voice snaps and Kate and Tanya glance over my shoulder, their shoulders straightening at the sight, I close my eyes and steady myself and then turn around.

"Eleazer, so nice to see you, are you not going to welcome me?" I hold my arms open but he continues to glare at me, Carmen is by his side, clutching his hand and looking at me with a sad expression, I return my gaze to Eleazer.

"I see you have decided to abandon your family's values and you are now feeding from the human race." I lower my gaze, conscious of my status within this household. He walks forward calmly, Carmen trailing him, their hands still joined. Behind me Tanya and Kate reluctantly step forward.

"Irina," Eleazer coos my name, "What is it that you need our help with?"

I swallow thickly, finally being able to meet his eyes and square my shoulders, "I found Laurent, dead, a pile of ash," something flickers in his eyes, but I can't be sure, my voice breaks as I reveal the next part, "There is a deadly wolf pack, giant wolves who I believe did this to him.

Eleazer lifts his head at me, forcing me to continue, behind me, my sisters tense, "I wish them dead, I can do it by myself," I lie smoothly, "they are not that big of a problem, but I know Laurent was like family to all of you too, so I wish for your help in destroying them.

"Laurent was no family of mine," Eleazer says smoothly, if my heart was beating, it would have stuttered at that moment, I was losing, and fast, "Carmen?"

She meets my eyes and I try to silently plead with her, "No," she shakes her head to emphasise her point, I turn to my sisters, feeling any sense of control slowly slipping away, "Please," I beg.

"If you go with her then I will consider you no longer part of this coven, Laurent does not deserve us risking ourselves for revenge, he meant nothing to us, make your decision wisely." Eleazer's voice rings out, shattering the momentary silence.

I eye each of my sister's and them slump my shoulders, making my way out, Kate continues to glare at me but Tanya goes to follow me, Carmen gasps and I freeze, turning hopefully.

Tanya's eyes glisten with unshed tears as Kate holds her back, I glare at Kate but she just returns it with equal force, "Please don't go Irina!" she begs me, but it's no use, my mind is already made up, I will avenge my mate, if it's the last thing I do.

~OE~

_Cpov _

The telephone in the grand office rings, the shrilling sound pulling me from the intense game of chess I am currently invested in. I make my way up to the office and catch it just as it's on the last ring, "Hello?"

"Carlisle?" I recognise Eleazer's voice on the other side of the line; I smile and sit at my desk.

"Of course, it's me! How are you old friend?"

I hear him sigh, and movement in the background, another person must have entered the room with him as I feel the brushing of fabric. "Not so good, Carlisle, not so good," my brow furrows and I pick up a pen, tapping it against my diary out of habit.

"Is there anything I could help you with, Eleazer, do not hesitate to ask for my help, Cousin."

"It's not your help that I need Carlisle, I've called to warn you," I stand from my desk as Esme's figure appears in the door; she can obviously hear every word of our conversation.

"Warn me about what?" I ask carefully, Esme takes a seat on the desk beside me and rests her head against my shoulder.

"Irina has left our coven, that nomand you sent our way got himself killed and she thinks she needs to avenge his death," Esme meets my eyes, the confusion I see swimming their mirrors my own.

"I'm terribly sorry about your loss Eleazer, but I don't seem to understand how this will affect my family and me."

Eleazer sighs, "The ones that killed her mate were a wolf pack, in the Olympic region, where you used to reside, I believe you had an alliance with a Tribe there, I just thought it would be best to warn you, old friend, I wouldn't want this to start trouble."

Esme gasps beside me and I hold onto her hand, "Thank you for the warning, Cousin, it means a lot; I will talk with my wife and decide where to go from there. Say 'hello' to the rest of your coven from me."

"You're welcome, Cousin, and I will, good luck and goodbye," I hang up the phone and sit next to my wife deep in thought.

"What do we do, Carlisle?" her soft voice asks me and I stand in front of her, and then move in to kiss her soft on the lips, brushing her caramel hair over her shoulder.

"There's nothing else I can do, honey, I have to call and warn them, it would go against my very nature not to."

~OE~

_Bpov_

"Happy New Year!" I sing out as I open the screen door and make my way inside, Sam notices me first and stands, a wide smile on his face, he opens his arms and I walk right into them, holding him tightly, I was really worried about him lately, this is the first time I'd seen him since before the new year and he looked as though he'd aged a few years.

I plaster a fake smile on my face and pull back and then move to embrace Emily, she's not as good as hiding her pain and grimaces at me, I squeeze her upper arms comfortingly and she gesture over to the table, "Take a seat sweetie, I'll bring over some tea." I nod and move to take a seat across from Sam.

The screen door swings open again and Paul walks in, I smile as he approaches me, he nods in greeting to both Sam and Emily and then sits beside me, he leans in and I go to kiss him when he dodges me and places a quick kiss on my cheek.

My brow furrows, but I sit back in my chair deciding to put it away for later, Emily sits at the table between Sam and I and pours everyone a cup of tea, "So why did you call me here, guys?" I start as the awkward silence becomes too much.

Sam clears his throat and takes a drink from his cup, "Bella, it's important that you listen to everything I have to say," I nod and glance at Emily, she shoots me a sympathetic look and I then turn to Paul on my right, he's staring down at the table.

I frown again and nod at Sam, it seemed for some reason that Paul was mad at me.

"Bella," Sam starts and Emily pushes my tea towards me, I smile briefly at her and hold my cup between my hands, "We got a phone call this morning and I thought it would be best to tell you as soon as possible."

I glance at everyone around the table, but even Emily has joined Paul in staring at the table, I clear my throat, "Who was the call off?"

Sam meets my gaze carefully, "Carlisle Cullen."

My heart stops for a beat and my heart speeds up, I grasp the edge of the table for support as my vision starts to blur, I try to swallow past the knot in my throat at the thought of a Cullen having direct contact with someone I cared about.

Emily's soft hand covers mine on the table which Paul seems to know be glaring at, "D-did he say w-why?" I stutter and Sam glances down at the table.

"Bella…" he trails off and this time Paul looks up at him and glares directly at him, "Besides Victoria," I swallow and nod, forcing him to get out what he's trying to say, "There has been another vampire running through these parts," my eyes snap up to his.

"But there's a lot of nomands in the world Sam! What does this have to do with me?"

"Carlisle called, he told me that the nomand we killed a few months ago,"

"Laurent?"

Sam nods, "His mate found out that we did that and she wants revenge,"

"W-what?!" I glance at Paul, his whole form is shaking, Emily sits back in her chair and then stands.

"I'm going outside for a while," she whispers and then leaves out of the screen door.

I turn back to Sam, "Tell me everything. Now."

Sam sighs and sits back, "Apparently the Cullen's have some cousins in Alaska and one of them were involved with the nomand we killed, she wants revenge and they called to warn Carlisle, he thought it would be _gracious _of himself to call us and warn us."

My mouth opens and closes a few times, I have no idea what to say or do, "Sam," I sigh and he meets my gaze carefully, "There's nothing we can do about this, if she's planning on coming here then she's already made up her mind, there's nothing we can do."

Paul roars beside me and stands abruptly, knocking his chair back, and glares down at Sam, I jump and stand myself, "Paul, what are you doing?"

"I've had enough of this bullshit, I told you to tell her from the beginning, but did you listen? No! Fuck no, you didn't listen and she's in even more danger because you wouldn't let us attack the blonde bitch and fucking kill her now those bastards feel like they once again have to insert themselves into Bella's life!"

Throughout his rant, Sam has joined him standing up, I myself stand there gaping at both of them, I blink and then snap to attention, "Guys, knock it off, we're in a house for gods sake!"

They both ignore me and Sam, just an inch taller than Paul, stares him down, "Stand down, Paul!" Sam commands in a voice I rarely hear him use, Paul sneers but backs off a little.

"Not everything is about you and your precious little life, Sam!" Paul sneers at him and Sam's glare intensifies.

"I realise that, but not everything is about you and your girlfriend either, yes we've vowed to protect Bella, but the whole world doesn't revolve around her!"

My eyes widen at his words and my heart sinks a little, Paul lifts his hands to his head and buries them in his hair, he lets out a frustrated groan, "She's not my _girlfriend_!"

I don't realise I gasp out loud but both their heads snap towards me, with blurry eyes, I hurry from the kitchen, making my way out of the house and rush to my truck, Emily tries to stop me from the side flower patch where she's turning soil, but I move on quicker and get it, driving away in record time.

~OE~

I find myself at the beach, sitting atop the same rocks I did when I first kissed Paul, we'd never really spoken about what we were as a couple, everyone had clearly presumed we were from the comments Sam made today.

Paul hadn't asked me to be his girlfriend, I mean, sure we'd held hands and slept in the same bed and kissed a few times but that didn't really mean we _were _anything.

I swipe at the few tears that seem to have escaped without my permission and huff, slumping my shoulders. I didn't know much about Paul's reputation with women, he was 19, almost 20, so nearly two years older than me, so he had to have had tons of experience, in fact, I didn't know much about Paul, period.

The breeze shifts and I hear heavy breathing approach behind me, I glance over my shoulder to find Paul making his way over to me at a languid pace.

He reaches me and hops up onto the rocks beside me, we stare out into the ocean for a few moments in silence before I hear him sigh, loudly.

"Bella, I'm sorry I said what I did," he says quietly, he apologised, but didn't take it back, so he meant to say it then.

I shrug my shoulders and he huffs, "Will you please just look at me," I turn to look at him, wondering what difference it would make, "I don't like labels in a relationship, Bella, they complicate things."

"Really, Paul, 'cause there's nothing complicated about calling someone your girlfriend,if you truly care about them," I meet him dead in the eyes and he has the decency to look down.

"Is a relationship really a relationship with no label? Are you still with other women even though you're 'with' me?" He looks back up in shock and goes to protest when I hold a hand up to stop him, "I know you're not, I trust you, but people already think we're a couple, so what's the big deal?"

He snorts and I find myself glowering at him, "Exactly, what's the big deal? You know I'm faithful to you, god knows Sam and Embry would try to kick my ass if they ever thought I wasn't."

He gives me a pleading look and reaches for one of my hands, we stare at each other for a moment, until I slowly pull mine back, "I can't move forward in this _relationship _until I know where I stand," Paul's expression becomes blank as he realises what I'm implying.

"Come on, Little Red, don't do this," I move off of the rocks and stand before him, glaring at him.

"Do you not think that after everything I've been through with," I swallow thickly, "Edward, I deserve more respect in a relationship, stability, to know where I stand," Paul nods at me though his eyes are tight with hurt, I look away before I changed my mind.

"I need more than just to be held and a few kisses," I finish softly.

Paul swallows thickly, "I understand," his eyes glisten in the evening light, though there is a tiny bit of pride shining there to, I understand the look he is giving me perfectly, he's hurt that things are ending between us, but proud that I'd finally grew a back-bone and stated my terms.

"Okay," I whisper and then move forward, bringing my arms up around him, holding him to me tightly, he in turn brings his up over my back, bringing me in closer, I kiss his shirt-clad chest where I can feel his heart thumping beneath.

He lets me go and we pull away from each other, he brings a hand up and cups my right cheek, stroking the skin there with his thumb before dropping his hand back to his side, I sigh and turn around to leave.

"Bella?" I freeze and turn back, "You know we'll carry on protecting you forever, no matter what, right?"

I nod, saying "Right," before shooting him one last smile and continuing on my way to the truck. I knew that, that was just his way of telling me that he cared for me and would continue to.

No matter what.

**A/N: Review if you like :)**


	21. Expecting

**A/N: Thank you for all the Reviews/Comments, I took them on board, the good and the bad and it's been on my mind a lot. I know writers don't tend to do this but I felt like I was so excited to put this out there that I may have missed some key things out of the chapter so I've revisited it and this is the new version of said chapter. I know a lot of people were irked by Jess's decision because they thought she was financially unstable and didn't know the father but I just want to remind you that I know how this story is gonna end so, just roll with me people!**

**Enjoy :)**

_10__th__ Jan_

Coming back to school felt surreal, the girls had new haircuts, some of the guys had new cars and all I had in my life that was new was new drama. I pull up into the parking lot and put on the brake, I sit back in my seat and sigh, closing my eyes.

Why did Carlisle have to phone?

I get why he did, and I'm grateful for the information but it seemed to have riled up the pack even more, and with Jake almost joining them, things were weighing down on us. Sam had told me because it was dangerous for me not to know, because he felt helpless when it came to me, and that is not a state of mind I wanted my wolves to be in. I open my eyes, reach over and grab my backpack and then step out of the cab.

Angela is first to notice me, she walks at a fast pace until she reaches my side, "Hey! How was your break?" She pulls me into a hug and I return it, relishing in the contact, I hadn't spoken to Paul since that day at the beach, but I'd seen him passing in La Push a few times. I decide to keep my 'break-up' from Angela.

"It was good! Charlie managed to fall asleep before we could count the New Year in..." I trail off and pull back, rolling my eyes at her, "... Other than that it was nice." I take in a deep breath, I was getting better at this 'pretending things were alright, thing.'

She smiles and then glances around and leans in closer, lowering her voice, "Bella, have you noticed people are acting a little strange today?" I pull back and furrow my brow, shaking my head at her and she links arms with me, pulling me towards the school.

Internally, I groan.

We enter the busy corridor and make our way to the lockers, we open our lockers in silence and I reach into my backpack, exchanging my biology notes for my English textbook.

A loud retching noise comes from behind me and I freeze in horror, cringing at the thought of someone getting sick near me, until it is promptly followed by one and another and then a loud chorus of 'Eew's' sound after.

I turn to see what all the noise is about but people are blocking my view, Angela, being a good few feet taller than me stands on the tip of her toes and then gasps, bringing herself back down and meeting my eyes with her sad ones.

She shakes her head at me when I try to get her to tell me what she saw and she grabs my elbow, bringing me in closer to her as the crowd starts to part.

"Slut!" One guy shouts, which is followed by loud giggles from a group of girls and then one of them calls out, "Whore!" whilst another yells "Bitch!" The parting in the crowd widens along with my eyes and I let out a gasp, the hand that is clutching my arm tightens as Angela finally sees what I see.

Jessica is walking up the middle of the corridor, books clutched tightly to her chest, her head is hung and her shoulders slumped, her bottom lip is quivering slightly as she tries to hurry towards where she is going.

I meet Angela's eyes and gesture for us to go after her, she nods her head and we look for a break in the crowd so we can follow Jess.

As she passes us, scrunched up paper balls start raining over her, I grasp Angela's hand in mine and pull her faster after Jess as she starts to run towards the girl's toilets.

Behind us, people go back to what they were doing before they felt the need to harass the poor girl, no doubt half of them didn't even know why they were doing what they were doing, and no doubt there was an evil master-mind behind Jess' torture.

Jess' retreating figure disappears as she turns sharply into the girls toilets, Ang and I break into a run and catch the door just as it's about to swing shut, once inside I turn the lock and then we both make our way into the main part of the toilet's.

Angela sits back against the sinks, her hands holding her sides and her face pulled into a grimace whilst across from her, in the only occupied stall, Jess kneels, hugging the toilet bowl to her.

Jess heaves and wretches again, I glance at Angela, who is now clutching the sink behind like it's her lifeline, her face as white as a Cullen.

Summoning an ounce of courage, I edge forward and take a deep breath, before sinking to my knees beside Jessica and move forward to grasp her hair, holding it back.

I grasp in one hand her hair and with the other starts to rub her back, she wretches again and I cringe, _I could have happily lived my whole life without seeing that. _I shudder and cringe again, wrinkling my nose as she continues to empty the contents of her stomach.

When she's done, I flush and stand up, leaning down to help her stand too, I reach behind her and close the lid and then lower Jess onto it. Angela moves forward then, armed with a bottle of water and an empty plastic cup from the dispenser.

I take them from her and she disappears to retrieve some tissue from the stall next to us, I kneel in front of Jess and hold out the water to her, she takes a sip and moves it around her mouth and then spits into the empty cup, I grimace but stay with her, rubbing her knee, until her mouth is clean.

Angela replaces me next to Jess, holding out some tissue paper to her, whilst I dispose of the used plastic cup. I go around and check to stalls to make sure there is definitely no-one here and then turn back to the girls, "You okay?" I ask Jess quietly and she glares at me, "Right, stupid question."

She moves over to the sinks and lowers herself into an empty one, Angela leans her right hip against a sink to Jess' left facing us both and I lean my left hip against a sink to Jess' right.

We both stare at Jess, waiting for some kind of explanation, she sighs heavily and reaches into her bag, rummaging for a moment and then producing a piece of gum and pops it in her mouth.

Finally Angela sighs, "What is up with people Jess?! Why are they treating you that way? Do I need to take you to reception? Are you sick? Contagious?"

Jess shakes her head at all of these and then turns to me and sighs, "Mike broke up with me," and then she drops her head into her hands and starts sobbing, Angela and I glance at each other and she shrugs at me, I roll my eyes and move forward, embracing Jess and cooing at her.

"Ssh, ssh, it's okay Jess, I mean, if it helps, I broke up with Paul over the New Year break." It doesn't help, in fact she only starts sobbing louder, I glance at Angela helplessly who is now seated in her own sink giving me a '_you shouldn't have said that'_ look.

I roll my eyes again and pull back, stealing some more tissues from the dispenser above me and handing them to Jess, she takes in staggered breaths and then then looks at me again, "You're gonna wanna sit down for this one, B," I furrow my brow but take her advice and sit in another one of the sinks, leaning my back against the mirrors behind me.

Fear constricts my throat as Jess brings her hands up to rub at her red-rimmed eyes, "Jess please, would you tell us what else is wrong, I know it's not just the Mike thing," she nods and lowers her hands.

"D-do you guy-uys remember that boy that L-Lauren was dating?" My eyes tighten at the mention of that witches name, I knew there was some evil person behind all this.

I shake my head, I didn't know this guy who Lauren had 'dated', I didn't pay attention to the slut whatsoever. Angela shakes her head too and Jess nods and then clears he throat, straightening up a little more.

"It was this college guy, anyway, just before Halloween last year, he dumped her and she wanted him back, she found out he was throwing a Halloween party so she said we should crash it, turn up there so she could make her move and get back with him."

She pauses checking to see if we're still listening before staring straight ahead, "We got there and went inside, it was at the guys apartment up in Port A, anyway, we had taken Lauren's car and she had driven us down there, so I would be driving back.

Once we got inside, she just disappeared and left me, I walked around and found I didn't know anybody, so I got a drink, little did I know that someone had spiked it and after ten minutes I started to feel really weird."

Angela gasps beside me, "Jess you should have called someone!"

She shrugs, "I figured you were all busy and Bella was still heartbroken," I flinch but don't disagree, that was so soon after the Cullen's had left me.

"Anyway, I went to look for Lauren and I couldn't find her, but then I did find her. She and her ex-boyfriend were in the middle of an intense argument, from what I could hear it wasn't going well and she stormed off.

I followed her to her car but she pushed me away, I fell on the sidewalk and she sneered at me that I could find my own way home and left me there."

Angela and I gasp simultaneously, "Sometimes I just feel really violent! How could she do that?"

I nod in agreement and Jess shrugs, "She drove off and I was on the floor, a guy came up to me and introduced himself as James," my heart stops at the mention of that name but I internally roll my eyes, _that_ James had been dead a long time now, "He helped me up and inside and then lead me upstairs and lay me down."

I tense, hoping that what I'm thinking may have happened to her hasn't happened to her, she didn't deserve to be raped, no one did.

"I slept it off," I close my eyes with relief and she shoots me a tiny smile, "When I woke up it was like 5am and the party was closing down, James came back up and asked me if I had anywhere to stay, I said no, so he got into bed next to me and told me to go to sleep."

"Couldn't he have just offered you a ride?" I ask and Jess shakes her head.

"We had both been drinking, and it was spiked, I have no doubt in my mind either that he was stoned, so, not really."

Angela pipes up, "You really should have called someone, Jess," Jess shrugs.

"I know, but at the time, I really wasn't thinking straight at the time, anyway, so I was lying there next to him and I thought he seemed familiar, then I realised that he was in fact Laurens ex.

At first I freaked out, I mean she'd have a cow if she saw me right now, but then he opened his eyes and stared into mine, he made a move and I let him, we slept together and when I woke up later on at noon, he was gone allowing me to perform the 'walk of shame' in private."

It goes quiet for a moment, in the background I hear the tardy bell ring, "So let me get this straight, Lauren is making your life living hell at school because you slept with her ex-boyfriend who didn't want her anymore?"

Jess nods and then sighs, leaning her head against the mirrors, "There's more isn't there," Angela adds as silent tears make their way down Jess' cheeks.

"Girls, I don't know how to tell you this, so I'm just gonna say it," she pauses and I feel like I'm holding my breath.

"I'm pregnant."

My jaw drops as I stare at her in shock, Angela gasps and then covers her mouth, also staring at Jess with wide eyes, Jess once again moves to drop her head into her palms and I spring back to life.

I jump out of my sink and move over to her, bringing my arms up around her and holding her tightly as her body shakes with sobs against me. "Jess when did you find out?" I ask her trying to figure this out and be the voice of reason, Angela is still silent with shock.

Jess sniffles against me and wipes her nose on the shoulder of my shirt, I grimace but pat her back soothingly, she pulls away and whispers, "Yesterday, Lauren was the first person I told, I needed to find James and she's the only one who knows him, as you can see she announced it to the whole school."

She takes in a staggered breath and carefully meets Angela's eyes, "Do you hate me now, Angie?"

That seems to snap Angela out of her stare and she jumps from her sink and moves towards us, "Of course not, Jess, I'm just shocked is all." We're all quiet and then Angela clears her throat, "Are you planning on keeping it?"

Jess glances down, "I have a clinic appointment at the hospital today after school for my 3 month scan, I took a few home tests and when I called this morning in tears, the hospital said I could come in today, would you guys be able to come with?"

It doesn't escape my notice how Jess effectively ignores Angela's real question, "I have to take the twins to soccer practice, Jess, I'm sorry I can't."

Jess shakes her head and sniffles, "Don't worry about it," she gazes at me with watery eyes, "B?" I sigh heavily.

"Oh what the heck! It's not like I'm doing anything important tonight anyway, sure, I'll come with."

Angela groans out loud, "Did you just hear what I asked you, Jess?" she asks in exasperation and even I'm startled, Angela is glaring at her from behind her black frame glasses, "What are your plans?!"

Jess glances up at me but I stay quiet, thinking logically about this for one minute I realise Ang has a point. What were Jess's plans? The only way to help her was if we knew for a minute what she was doing and right now we were clueless.

"Well?" Angela pushes and Jess begins to sob again, I rub her back and Angela shoots me a glare, "Seriously Jess, you're crying again?"

"What do you want me to do?!" Jess yells and then sniffles, wiping her nose on her sleeve, "I don't know what to do?!"

Angela rolls her eyes at me and motions me over to her, I squeeze Jess's shoulder and then move over to where Ang is stood, "Jess?" Angela asks, her voice softer this time and I decide to let her take the reins this time, "Jess?" and this time, Jess looks up at us, "Before we can help you, we need to know what your plans are in this. Have you told your mom? Are you keeping it? Or not?"

Jess sniffles and meets our eyes, "No I haven't told her and no I don't know what I'm going to do," she picks up the bottle of water from the sink and takes a few sips, "I don't know how to contact the father, I don't know what to tell my mom, I don't have any money. I'm practically still a kid myself, I'm not ready for this!"

"No offense, but you were crying over people being mean to you and the fact that the whole school thought you were a slut. I don't think you're responsible enough to have a baby Jess."

I gape at Angela and she shrugs, "I'm just trying to be realistic here I mean, given that you only found out yourself that you're pregnant this morning, but you haven't even told your mom, Jess!"

She walks over to Jess and grips her upper arm softly, "You need to make a decision, Jess, and you need to make it now."

Jess sniffles again and straightens out, squaring her shoulder's a little to give her an air of confidence, "Your right. I need to figure this out, I need just a little time to think this through and then I can decide what I want to do. But I need to have your support," she glances from me to Ang, "Both of you."

I nod straight away, abortion went against everything I stood for, but being loyal to my friends was way higher on my list than that and I needed to remember that first and foremost. Angela nods too and Jess wipes under her eyes with the end of her sleeve.

She smiles gratefully at us but it comes of more like a grimace and we then she moves forward to hug us. "Good luck for the hospital later Jess," Angela whispers, before unlocking the toilets and making her way out.

I sigh and turn to face Jess, "We should probably get to class." She nods and runs the cold water, splashing her face before dabbing it dry with some paper towel, grabbing my hand and leading us out.

The only thoughts running through my mind; _oh Jess, what am I going to do with you?!_

_~OE~_

I was twenty minutes late to biology but Mr Banner didn't seem to care, he just waved me in and carried on with the lecture he had been delivering.

Jess's news was going round and round in my head until I found myself going crazy, I put up my hand and Mr Banner's eyes zone in on me, "Yes Miss Swan?"

"Um, can I have a bathroom pass, please?"

He narrows his eyes at me, "You join my lesson late and now you want to disrupt it once again?"

"It's an emergency?" I say, though it sounds more like a question, he nods though and retrieves a pass from a drawer in his desk.

I make my way to the front and take it from him and then leave the room. On my way to the bathroom I bump into Jess, she hugs me again and I return the gesture, "You okay, Jess?"

She nods and sighs, "Yeah, I guess, now the whole school knows, the principle wants to talk to me with the student relations officer," I give her a sympathetic smile and then she shrugs, saluting me before carrying on her way.

When I enter the bathroom, I make sure to check the stalls and then lock myself in the first one, closing the lid on the toilet and sitting back against it, I close my eyes briefly and then reach into my pocket and pull out my cell phone, I dial Leah and wait as it rings, she doesn't pick up.

I sigh in frustration and try again, again there is no answer, I flush the toilet and am about to leave the stall when my cell starts ringing, "Hello?"

"'Sup, Swan, how goes it?"

I roll my eyes, "It goes okay, I guess, how's work?"

Leah sighs dramatically, "Ugh! It's so boring, all I'm doing is receptionist stuff!" I manage a little chuckle at her expense.

"Well it did say 'receptionist' in the job description Lee," she almost growls into the receiver.

"Yeah, well they could have lied," she grumbles and I laugh again, "Anyway, I thought you would be in class, what's up?"

"I have some news, actually, I need your advice because I don't know what to do about this."

She swallows as if she's eating something and then says, "Shoot! Tell old Aunty Leah about all your problems, child!"

"Lee…" I whine and she chuckles.

"Fine, go ahead and tell me what's turned your day to shit so early on."

"Leah, do you remember Jessica? My friend from school who came to the bonfire that night?"

She pauses for a moment, "Oh yeah, the bubbly brunette? Sure I remember her! What's up?"

"She's pregnant, Lee."

Leah gasps, "Well why in world are _you_ so worried, _you're _not pregnant, unless," she trails off, her voice getting louder and louder, "…this is just the prequel and you're about to tell me that you are too and that you guys are gonna get married and oh my gosh!-"

"Leah!" I yell, cutting through her stupid rant, "I just really need your advice, and no, none of those things are happening to me, Paul and I, kind of broke up."

"What!?" This time, she yells at me, I move the phone slightly away from my ear, "He broke your heart and you just _now _think to tell me?! Oh you just wait until I get my hands and feet on him!"

"Yeah, that wouldn't be a good idea, I kind of broke things off with him."

She's silent, "Why, Bells? I thought you really liked each other."

I lean my head against the stall wall and sigh, "I do really like him, but it's complicated, can we just say that I need more than he can give right now and leave it at that?"

"Fine!" she says and then sighs herself, "What is your friend gonna do, I mean personally I'd be freaking out."

My brow furrows, "You really don't want kids?"

She snorts, "Of course not, I mean not for a long time, no scratch that, not ever, I never ever want to experience childbirth, ever!"

"Lee, isn't it every woman's dream to have children?"

"Hooker's don't want to be moms!"

"Are you saying you want to be a hooker?!"

I can tell she's rolling her eyes right now, "Of course I'm not saying that, idiot! Just tell me, what's your friend's plan?"

"I don't think she has one, Lee, I mean we asked her if she's keeping it or not and she didn't really answer," Leah draws in a sharp breath, "I know, I know, with everything that happened with Emily, I feel like Jess is being selfish, but I can understand her too, I wouldn't wanna have a baby right now either."

"I know, B, but if I was stupid enough to put myself in her position, and that's a big '_if'_, I'd know for sure that I'd keep it, 'cause I couldn't take a life like that."

"You and me both, Lee, but I can't make that decision for her, she'll have to make it herself, I'm just gonna be there for moral support, I just really wanted to talk to someone, thanks for listening, I guess I should let you get back to reception-ing, huh?"

She snorts, "oh how I wish I were you!" this time I snort out laughter, "Seriously, B, you're having a much more fun time than I am," I roll my eyes and stand from the toilets closed lid.

"Of course you'd think that the emotional drama in my life right now is 'fun'," we laugh and then I unlock the stall and move out towards the sinks, checking my reflection in the mirror, "I'm gonna head back to class now, Lee."

"Okay, just, text me when you're done at the clinic, let me know how your friend got on today," she says softly, and I smile thinking of her sat bored in her office, waiting for any news to entertain her.

"I will, bye, Lee," she returns the sentiment and then we hang up, as I glance at the time on my phone, I realise that there's really no point in going back to Biology now, I head straight to my locker where Mike is waiting with my backpack in his hand, a sheepish look on his face.

If he was about to ask me out, I swear I'd flip my switch.

As I approach he holds out my backpack to me, I take it from him, open my locker and start to swap books, "You okay, Mike?"

He sighs, and leans back against the lockers next to mine, "Did you hear about Jess?"

I roll my eyes and close my locker, "Yup," I start making my way to English class and he follows by my side, "You do know she only found out yesterday, right?"

Mike's eyes widen as he pauses, I carry on and he soon catches me up again, "Are you telling me that you didn't know that?" We walk into English and he takes a seat beside me.

"Bella of course I didn't know that, Lauren said-"

I can't help but laugh out loud, effectively cutting him off, "You listened to everything she said? Pathetic!" He has the decency to look down at the table, "Listen Mike, I'm not here to tell you what to do since I'm not your mom and all but seriously," I pause until he looks up at me.

"You claimed to care about Jess before this morning, regardless of what Lauren told you, you should have gone and talked to her yourself, to get the full story," he nods and I place my hand on his, "I bet Lauren told you that Jess knew all along she was pregnant and that she was just getting cosy with you because she wanted to claim it as yours?"

He glances up and meets my eyes, "Yeah she told me something like that, I can't believe she would do something like that," I raise my brow at him as if to say '_really Mike, really...', _he just rolls his eyes at me, "I'm guessing the part where Jess sleeps with Lauren boyfriend whilst she's downstairs in the same party is made up too, huh?"

"Of course it is, she's made up a lot of stuff, it doesn't surprise me, but whatever, all I think we need to focus on now, is taking care of Jess and making sure she has people supporting her, no matter what."

Mike nods in agreement, more people file into the classroom, Jess enters among them and the sneers and whispers start, I glare at a few of them and move along the back row, making space for her.

When she sees who I'm sat next to she immediately glares at him, but I discreetly shake my head at her and she huffs, but comes to sit on my right hand side, I smile at her, "Was everything okay with the principle?"

She shoots a look at Mike and he pipes up on my left, "Jess, I'm really sorry, I should have let you explain, I want to help you, be there for you," Jess and I share a look and I smile encouragingly at her and she sighs but nods.

"Fine, and it was okay, when I decide where I want to go with this, I'll have to have another meeting, they offered me therapy but I don't need that," her gaze flickers up to mine, "I have you."

I roll my eyes and pull her into a side hug, Mike smiles at us sweetly and I return it, Jessica, with more suspicion than I do.

A friendly face enters the classroom and I wave at him from the back of the class, Zohar makes his way over to us, he shakes Mikes hand and then takes a seat in the row in front of us.

"Good morning, Bella," he drawls in his British accent, I lean forward and he kisses my cheek and then offers his to me, I place a kiss on it and he then addresses Jess, "Ah, Jessica, congratulations sweetheart," he then leans forward and kisses her cheek, Jess blushes and I giggle, nudging her with my elbow.

Our teacher walks in then, and silences us all, Jess nudges me back and I lean in and whisper, "Transfer from England, he's gay though," as I resume my place, I notice the disappointed look on her face and smirk to myself, _oh Jess!_

~OE~

I wait in the queue, running the truck in line to get out of the parking lot. Jess comes running up carefully to the truck, opens the passenger door, throws her bag in and sits next to me, pulling the door closed behind her.

We're silent on the drive to Fork's Hospital, nothing that either of us could say much about the situation, as I pull up into a spot and cut the engine, Jess turns to look at me, "Bella, I've decided to terminate the pregnancy," she says quietly and my eyes widen in horror.

"Jess, are you sure?! I mean-"

"No Bella, I've been thinking about it all day and I just can't bring a little person into this world," she glances up at me with watery eyes, "I don't want to do that to anyone, please don't hate me, Bella, please don't."

"Jess, of course I don't hate you." I reach over and grab her hand, "Should we go in?" she swallows and nods her head.

"Thank you," she looks down at her lap, "I know you don't agree with this Bella, I really appreciate you being here. I don't think I'm gonna tell my mom by the way, it'll already be over by tonight and I don't want her to worry too much."

"Are you sure, I mean, if we called her now she could come down here."

Jess shakes her head, "No, I just want this to be over."

I nod and open my door, grabbing my phone and slamming the door behind me.

We walk into the hospital and up to the receptionist desk, Jess gives her information to the lady behind the desk and she gives us directions to Jess's examination room. Jess turns to me and motions for us to take the elevator. I glance down for a moment and then back up at her, /2Is it alright if I just wait out here for you?"

She smiles a tight smile and nods in understanding, "Sure, I don't know how long I'll be, Bella."

"I'll wait Jess, it's fine," she nods once more and then hugs me, I squeeze her tighter and take a deep breath, we pull apart and I try to give her a comforting smile and watch her as she disappears from my sight.

My smile drops and I move into the waiting area and sink into a chair. I lift my hand and rub at my forehead. I couldn't explain what I was feeling, some guilt at the fact that Jess was about to terminate the pregnancy.

I couldn't explain it, I guess it's because seeing the other side of it, with Emily and how she lost her baby and not by choice, I was just feeling unnerved. My brow furrows as I think of the future.

Just because Jess wasn't keeping this baby, didn't mean that she wouldn't have healthy children in the future, when she was good and ready. Sitting here alone and wondering what she was going through was making me insane, so I decide to do what every other teenage girl did when they were presented with angst; I called my mom.

~OE~

Renee had been suspicious, at first she'd thought that the 'friend' I kept on referring to was myself, she'd threatened to tell Charlie that I was pregnant and she threatened to come to Forks herself, and many more other grand plans, until I had finally gotten the full story out.

Then she had given me what I wanted; some advice.

She had told me that Jess had gotten pregnant, and_ she_ needed to make her own decision about whether she wanted to take her life in that direction or not. She had recite the story of how she decided to keep me, as right now Jess was finding herself in a similar situation to that of my mother.

Renee then told me that I should just support her as a friend. Pretty much what I had been told by Angela and Leah anyway.

I had hung up with my mom, feeling not okay with what was happening, but more like I had a greater understanding.

The clock on the wall in the waiting room tells me that it has been just over 45 minutes so I sit back and let my mind wander.

My thoughts settle on Paul, I hadn't seen him properly in a while, we hadn't talked or anything, really. I missed him, I missed everything about him, even though we hadn't had much to start with, we'd had _something._

Tears well up in my eyes and my throat becomes tight, before I know what I'm doing I pull out my cell phone and dial his number, it rings a couple of times before he picks up, "Hello?" he asks and one tear falls, he didn't recognise my number or have me saved in his contacts to know it was me.

"H-hello," I sob, I feel so out of control but I can't help myself, "P-Paul?"

"Bella, can you, just, ah, hold for a-"

'_Paul,' _a female voice whines and I immediately freeze,_ 'Don't jump on your phone baby, came in here with me, I want you, again,'' _I hear a flirtatious voice purr on the other side of the line, my heart stops and a ringing sounds in my ears, in the back of my mind I can hear Paul shouting my name but I choose to ignore it.

I snap my phone shut and drop it into my lap as tears stream down my face, I swallow thickly, swiping furiously at my cheeks and take in deep breaths. I didn't think moving on would be that easy, seemed like it was for him, did I not mean anything to him? I sniffle again and shove my phone into my pocket, it's vibrating and I just know he's trying to call me back.

Then I get angry, why in the world would he even answer the phone call if he'd just got done… screwing some chick!?

I feel so out of control, I have no idea what to do, rubbing my forehead I realise that I couldn't be upset about that, we'd broken up, and Paul was a guy, he had needs.

My head falls heavily into my palms and I rub at my eyes.

"Bella," a soft voice calls and my head snaps up to find Jess, standing before me, her eyes red-rimmed and one hand gripping the strap of her bag so tight I can see the knuckles, "I'm ready to leave," she whispers.

She looks exhausted, I move forwards and pull her into a hug, and she doesn't return it. She just stands there with a rigid posture until I pull back, I smile softly at her, "Let's head out."

We both move out of the hospital, me leading the way to the truck. I stop when I feel a slight tug on my arm, I turn back to Jessica.

"Bella, I don't feel like going home yet, can we go to the diner and get a coffee or something?"

I nod, "Sure," I say and then we walk in the opposite direction, crossing the road and enter the diner. I gesture for her to take a seat at a booth and then order us both a cup of tea before paying and making my way over to Jess. I sit across from her and stare at her.

Her head is hung a little and her hands are playing nervously with the salt shaker, she clears her throat, "Bella, I couldn't do it," she whispers and for the second time today my jaw drops. She looks up at me, silent tears streaming down her face.

She lifts one hand and moves it through her hair and then drops it to the table again, "I just- I just saw the little blip on the scan and something happened inside of me…"

Jess trails off and I gaze at her intently, "I couldn't let it go, Bella, and I know that, that is probably one of the most selfish things that I'm going to do because I don't know right now if I can even be a good parent, but I just couldn't kill my baby."

I grasp one of her hands in mine and smile at her through my own tears, "I'm glad you're keeping it Jess, I really am."

She smiles and sniffle, "You should have seen me Bella. Gosh, I was hysterical," she laughs and I manage a small one along with her, "The scan came up on the tiny screen and there it was, proof that there was an actual person inside of me and I was awed. I felt attached from that moment on and then I kind of broke down, the nurses at that hospital officially hate me and my over-emotional self." She laughs again, a watery laugh and I chuckle along with her.

Jess rummages around in her bag for a moment and then pulls out a piece of paper, she slides it across the table to me and I pick it up, unable to take my eyes off of its contents.

A tiny little black spot is sat at the bottom of the black and white scan, I smile widely, "Keep it," Jess says simply and I thank her, before tucking it into my pocket safely.

The waitress brings our tea over and I stir mine slowly, "So what are you going to do?"

She shrugs, "First off I need to tell my mom," I nod in agreement.

"As from there, I'll need to find a job and start saving money and look into online education rather than going off to college this year like I'd planned."

"I'm glad you're keeping the baby Jess, and you know you have our full support, I just hope your mom is okay with all this."

Jess sighs and then takes a sip of her tea, "Yeah, I know, I'll have to call Ang later too. I don't know, I just feel much better about this now for some reason. Maybe it was the medical guidance I was given at the hospital or maybe it's just 'cause keeping my little baby was the right thing to do."

She shrugs and we drink some more until we're finished. We make our way out of the diner and to the truck. I start on my way to her house to drop her off. As I pull up she turns to me, "Thanks again, everything you've done today means the world, Aunty B."

I smile wryly, "Your welcome Jess," she opens her door and goes to make her way out and then turns back to me.

"You know one of the best things in all this," I shake my head and she grins at me, looking more like the girl she was before today, "I hit my 3 month marker meaning that my morning sickness is almost over!"

I laugh and shake my head, "Goodnight Jess," she shoots me a genuine smile.

"Night, B," and then I watch as she unlocks her house and makes her way inside.

~OE~

By the time I make it home, the cruiser is still absent so I lock up and make my way upstairs after grabbing a banana.

I eat as I tap an email to Renee, informing her of Jess's decision and then throw away the banana peel. I run through my night time routine and then sink onto my bed and lie back.

The events of today finally wash over me and I realise I'm exhausted, I briefly wonder what Paul is doing but then decide to put that away for another time before I die of emotional overload.

I roll my eyes at myself and then reach for my phone off of the nightstand. I select Leah's name and then a text message and type a simple sentence.

_I'm going to be an aunty, x_

**Review if you like :)**


	22. Cake

**A/N: I'm loving your response to the last few chapters, the good and the bad (and yes there has been some bad), Thank you for the reviews/alerts, we're getting deeper and deeper into the story now and I think I'm getting even more excited myself than all of you are!**

**Not Beta'd, so any mistakes are my fault, sorry!**

**This chapter name is dedicated to my Dinosaur, Nikita, for singing 'Cake' to me sooo many times, I've put on weight just listening to it! And you stole my name on your reviews, woman and then spelt it wrong, it's supposed to be 'Padoma'!**

**Enjoy :)**

_17__th__ Jan_

"Hello?" She asks and I roll my eyes and sit back on my bed.

"Leah has this modern world taught you nothing?! Next time, look at your caller ID!"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever mom, any way so guess who I ran into this morning at the Ateara store?"

I pick up a slice of apple from the plate next to me and bite into it, chewing for a moment, "Who?"

"That bastard ex-boyfriend of yours," for a moment, my heart stops for a moment thinking she's referring to Edward, but I stop myself, she's obviously talking about Paul, I clear my throat.

"Where did you see him?"

"I just told you, Swan, at the shop!"

I roll my eyes, knowing she isn't giving anything away on purpose, forcing me to ask questions and dragging this out as much as she can, simply because it pisses me off.

"What, come on Lee? Just tell me!"

She snorts, "Let's just say that he got a nice swift knee to his boys," she chuckles quietly and my jaw drops.

"You kneed him in the balls?!" I put down the piece of apple I'm holding and push the plate away from me, moving to stand up and pace the length of my bed. "Leah! Why did you do that?!"

"He hurt you, I was just returning the favour," I stop pacing and throw my free hand in the air.

"Why?! I already told you I broke things off with him, I hurt him, Leah, you shouldn't have done that to him."

"Well, that's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about the nasty phone call you got, remember that? And besides what's done is done, and man did it feel good, you should try it!"

I sit on my bed again and take a bite of my apple, "I'm not even going there with you, I just wanted to ask you something, anyway," she groans and I yell, "Hey!"

"Ugh! Fine Bella, ask away…"

"It's Jake's birthday today Leah, what should we do?"

"Pft I don't know, he's your friend, and I'm still contemplating giving him the same treatment as I did Paul for what he said to you that one time."

I roll my eyes and finish my apple, "I was thinking we cook him a meal and take it to him, he's still not feeling well."

"Yeah, Seth was saying something like that, he's been off school for a while."

"So… are you in or not?"

"Sure I'm in, you may as well just come over to my place to cook, saves you having to bring over all the stuff anyway and half your cake pans are here to, cluttering my kitchen."

I snigger, "Yeah sure, _your _kitchen, you've never stepped foot in their besides with me or to eat Clearwater."

"Pft, whatever, just come over here, right now, I'll pull out some stuff we can cook."

"Deal, I'll bring some stuff over, too."

I hang up and gather some more pots and dishes to cook in, and then grab some cooking chocolate and flour, a plan for dinner forming in my mind. I smile to myself as I grab more dessert stuff shoving it into one pan and then making my way to the front door, I juggle the pans in my hand and find the right key and then unlock the door.

It swings open and I almost walk right into Zohar, his hand is half raised in the motion of knocking on the door, he jumps when I step out and then goes to help me, taking the top few pans from my hand, "Why hello there, pretty lady," I smile at his cheesy greeting and we walk to my truck, he opens the passenger side and puts the stuff in and then takes the rest from my hands and does the same.

"Hey Zohar," he leans down and I place a kiss on his cheek, "You okay?"

He nods, "I'm good, were you headed somewhere?"

"Yeah, it's my friend's birthday down in La Push, I was gonna go cook him a meal."

Zohar stares down at his shoes, "Oh," he glances back up at me, his dark, sad eyes playing with my emotions, "I was gonna come spend the day with you."

Internally in groan, why did he have to have this effect on me?! "Would you like to come with me?"

He smiles, "I don't think that's a good idea, gorgeous, I mean, I don't even know any of your other friends," he shrugs and then moves back a couple steps, piercing me with _those _eyes.

"Come on, Zohar, I consider you my friend, I want you in my life, you remember the Spice Girls' song _Wannabe, _right?!"

He sniggers and then moves forward again, "_if you wanna be my lover-"_

I snort out laughter and shake my head at him, "Sto-op I-it's not funny! You can-n't even sing!"

Zohar gasps as if I've deeply offended him and I laugh some more swiping at my eyes and pull him into a hug, "That's my girl!" Zohar says, "All I want is to see you laugh and smile, you look most beautiful when you do," he whispers the last part in my ear and I pull back, eyeing him suspiciously.

He looks sheepishly at me and then loosens his grip on me, "What are you doing, Zohar?"

He sighs, "I ran into Paul a week ago, he told me you were no longer seeing each other," my eyes narrow further as he continues, "He asked me to take care of you."

I turn away from him and go to walk away when his hand on my arm stops me, I pull it from his grasp and turn to face him, "So you're basically just here to spy on me!?" I ask in exasperation.

"Of course not Bella, but he told me of your previous heart break and I wanted to make sure you were okay myself."

"I'm fine!" I snap at him and he moves forward, grasping both my arms in both his hands and shaking slightly.

"I care about you dammit!" He's breathing heavily, as am I as we stare at each other intensely, after a few moments I drop my eyes and swallow, he grips my chin and tips it up bringing my eyes back to his, this time he continues in a softer tone, "I care about you, Bella, and god knows if I didn't have different preferences I would be fighting for you tooth and nail."

A slight blush coats his cheeks as he says this and I can't help but relax against him, holding the hand that has now moved up to cup my cheek, "But as fate would have it, I'm not attracted to you," I frown at this and he grins, "Not that you're not attractive, because damn girl, you're hot!" he laughs and I giggle along with him, "But I want to look after you, not because your stupid ex-boyfriend asked me to, but because I _want_ to. Now would you stop being so stubborn and just let someone do that for you, please?"

I smile at him and nod, "Thank you Zohar, for being a good friend," I pull his hand from my cheek and then gesture for him to get into the cab on the passenger side, "Love you," I add and he grins at me.

"Love you too," I move around the front of the truck and get into the cab and start the engine, Zohar shuts his door and salutes me, I laugh and then back out of the driveway as carefully as I can.

Zohar fumbles with the radio, "Damn this is fancy," I snort and glance down at stupid radio that was a gift from the Cullen's, it didn't fit in with the rest of my truck, I guess it was a metaphor for my life.

"It was a birthday present from my ex-boyfriend."

"I bet I could have gotten you a better present," I glance over to him and he's glaring down at the radio, I smirk and meet his eyes briefly.

"Damn, you get jealous fast, and I'm not even your girlfriend," he meets my eyes fully turning on the seat and sending me a smouldering look.

"Oh believe me babe, if I were straight, you'd be mine alright." I roll my eyes and turn back to the road.

After a moment of silence he sighs and leans forward, turning on the radio anyway, I laugh quietly to myself.

"So Jess is having a baby, isn't that right?"

I nod, "Mm-hmm, she's keeping it," I turn to smile at him.

"You're gonna be an aunty."

"Yeah, I am, I'm really excited, I mean, it's gonna be a whole different experience, watching life grow and then meeting the baby for the first time and then watching him or her get older, have their own little personality," I smile at him sideways, "I can't wait."

The engine stutters and I jerk forward a little, Zohar steadies the pans next to us, "Whoa! You need to get this thing serviced!"

I gasp and send him a death glare, "Don't you dare say anything about my baby!"

He holds up his hands in surrender and then shrugs, "You kinda need to, though."

"Jake usually does it for me, but he's not been feeling well, that's whose birthday we're celebrating today, he's good with cars. They're like his thing."

Zohar raises his head in understanding and I reach forward to turn up the volume a little, this was the first time I'd ever used the contraption, I tended to stay away from the radio but I felt comfortable with using it, after all it hadn't been from Edward personally. _Emmett_ had given me this as a gift.

A brief smile graces my lips as I remember him and his antics, I sigh quietly and sit back in my seat grasping the wheel tighter, sometimes I did kind of miss him, and even Rose, she'd never treated me special like she was a vampire and I was a human, she'd treated me with brutality, but being with the Cullen's all day every day, maybe that is exactly what I'd needed.

I turn around a bend on the small highway and the start to pass into La Push, "Have you been down to First Beach yet Zohar?"

"No, not yet, maybe we could visit there sometime, I've heard it's awfully romantic babe," he sends me a cheeky wink and I chuckle, shaking my head.

"You have got to stop hitting on me Zohar! Seriously, don't you have a boyfriend or something?"

He smiles wryly and glances down at his lap, "I did have, we broke up," he frowns and I immediately set to comfort him.

"What happened?"

Zohar snorts and glares out the front of the windshield, "My father happened," he meets my eyes, "It's the main reason we moved out here, to keep me away from my boyfriend and because he thought he was a bad influence and that if we moved here, I wouldn't be gay anymore." He snorts again and I soften my gaze.

"That's horrible, the fact that your dad is so narrow minded, I mean Charlie's the most conventional man on earth and even he doesn't have a problem with it or you," he nods.

"You and your family are truly a sweet escape from reality, Bella, you and your father's acceptance of me and my choices means a lot to a stranger in a foreign world."

I smile at him, "Your welcome, Love," he laughs at me mimicking his familiar name, soon we arrive at the Clearwater's, I put the truck in park and jump from the cab grabbing a handful of pans and making my way inside.

"Hey! Wait for me!" I turn to find Zohar struggling with the rest of the pans and making my way towards me, "I don't know the people in that house! I don't want to walk in alone love!"

I roll my eyes at him and wait, sighing as he makes his way to me and then we climb the porch stairs together, I balance the stuff in my hands and ring the door-bell, Leah opens the door, "Finally you're here-" She stops as her eyes settle on Zohar, and then she smirks, "Why hello there, sexy," she purrs flirtatiously and I roll my eyes, shove the pans from my hands to hers and walk past her to the kitchen.

"He's gay, for god's sake!" I enter the kitchen to see Seth sat there with a spoon full of cheerio's half way to his mouth, "Hey Babe," I lean forward and kiss his cheek and make my way to the cooker, just as Zohar and Leah enter.

'Omg, he's British!' Leah mouths at me and I roll my eyes at her, they put the stuff down on the counter and I introduce Seth and Zohar and then immediately get to instructing them on the feast I have planned for Jake, "Okay, so I was thinking, we cook him a meal, consisting only of desserts!"

It's silent for another moment and then a loud chorus of cheers greet me.

I grin at everyone around me, "Alright then! Let's get to work! I want to make cookies, brownies, an apple pie and a peach cobbler. Oh and I want to make him a chocolate fudge birthday cake! "

~OE~

We step out of the truck, various pans of baked goods in our hands and make our way to the Black household, Billy had met us around the Clearwater's, apparently Charlie was gonna make his way down and the three of them were gonna go fishing later on.

I pull out a packet of matches from my back pocket and light one, lighting the sixteen candles on the home-made chocolate cake and the twist the open door handle, and walk inside, Seth, Leah and Zohar following me, "Jake!" I call out.

"In here," he says, sounding incredibly unhappy, I smile and then walk towards kitchen, I lean forward and open the door, "Happy Birthday!" we yell simultaneously as we all move into the kitchen to find Jake sat at the table with a frown on his face.

He stands as we come in, shock all over his face before it breaks out into an earth shattering smile, he looks so different from a couple of days ago when I last saw him, his jaw more defined, he's definitely taller and more muscular, the before-effects of phasing was doing his physique wonders.

Jake moves forward and I set the cake down just in time to be pulled into a massive bear hug from him, he's so hot, his temperature nearing that of the Pack's but I embrace him anyway, he pulls away and kisses my cheek and then addresses the crowd, "Thanks guys, it means a lot to me, wait- whose the dude?"

I turn around to see Zohar, stood there awkwardly and I move forward and grab Zohar's hand pulling him back with me, "Jake this is my friend from school, Zohar, this is Jake, my friend from out of school," they shake hand and I see Zohar wince, Leah and I share a glance and we roll our eyes at them trying to assert their masculinity.

"Anyway," Seth says and then clears his throat, "Let's have some cake!"

"Yeah!" Leah agrees and re-lights the candles, we gather round the cake and Jake stands before it, a hungry look in his eyes, "Did you bake this?" he asks, never taking his eyes off of it.

I grin widely, "I sure did, go ahead, blow them out."

We sing the birthday song as Jake blows out his candles, we clap and cheer and then Leah appears next to Jake with a knife in hand, "Quickly, cut it now so we can eat some, Bella's been a stickler and she wouldn't even let me lick the bowl," Jake glances at her like he understands what 'pain' she's going through.

He turns back to the cake and takes the knife from Leah and then cuts into the cake, Leah and Seth cheer simultaneously and I feel a hot breath in my ear, "Why are they all going crazy over this cake?" Zohar whispers.

"Because _I _made it!" I turn a glare at him, but then soften it, obviously he'd never had my cake before, I grab his hand and lead him over to the table and tap Leah on the shoulder, she turns to me her mouth full of cake.

"What!?" She says, though it comes out muffled, I roll my eyes.

"I need a piece of cake for Zohar, he's a Bella's special cake virgin!"

Everybody gasps and Jake stands, a piece of cake on a plate grasped in his extended hand, "Dude! Why are you even alive!" he thrusts it into Zohar's hand and then mumbles under his breath, "And the guy claims to be a friend."

Zohar narrows his eyes at Jake and I manage to meet his eyes and then shake my head, "Just try the cake," we gather round him and watch as he uses his spoon to break a little piece off and then moves it to his mouth, he pops it in and then closes his lips around the spoon and then slowly it appears again.

An eerie silence takes over the kitchen and then Zohar moans loudly, we cheer once again, happy that he likes/loves my cake, I grin widely as he devours the rest of his slice, "Welcome to the family, Man!" Jake says as he clamps his hand down on Zohar's shoulder, this time in a friendly way.

"Bring on the first course!" Leah yells and then meets my eyes and winks at me.

~OE~

Half way through eating our warm chocolate fudge cake and vanilla ice cream the doorbell rings.

We all look up and glance at each other, I roll my eyes and set my bowl down, "Oh don't you guys worry, I'll just get that," they mumble various 'thank yous' and then go back to eating; _pigs!_

I open the door to find Quil standing there, "You made it!" I lurch forward and give him a hug which he returns.

"Sorry I'm a little late, I was running the shop, mom was out longer than she'd expected to be," I shrug and grab his hand moving him into the living room with him.

"Happy Birthday, Man!" he greets Jake, who stands and shakes Quil's hand firmly and then pulls him into that guy hug that only guys can do.

"Thanks Man, glad you finally made it, how's your mom?"

"She good Jake, she sent this for you," he takes a card out of his jacket and hand it to Jake, meanwhile I spy my bowl on the table.

"Okay, who ate my chocolate fudge cake?!"

I glance around at everyone and then my gaze lands on Seth who is sat there with a guilty look on his face, I sigh and move into the kitchen calling out, "Anybody for apple pie?" as I go.

A shuffle of feet follow me into the kitchen just as the doorbell rings again, I sigh and turn to Leah, "Can you handle this, whilst I take care of that," I walk out of the kitchen and drop my mock scowl, smiling softly to myself, they may eat like animals, but they were _my_ animals.

I open the door and find Paul standing there, a sheepish look on his face, "Hey Bella," he smiles at me, I can't react, I'm frozen on the spot, Paul clears his throat and glances behind me, "Can I uh, talk to you?" That seems to snap me out of it and I look behind me at the noise of the party and then back at Paul and nod, stepping out onto the porch and close the door behind me.

He takes a seat on the top stair propping his left leg up between us and leaning back against the rail, I sit facing him and lean back against the rail on my side, bringing both my knees up and clasping my hand round my knees.

I clear my throat, "What do you wanna talk about?" I ask quietly and his eyes snap to mine, he looks a little put out by my calm demeanour but I secretly know that as much as it hurt me, we weren't together, I had a right to be upset privately but not to be mad at him when he was in front of me.

"What you heard the other night when you called, was-"

"-none of my business," I finish for him and he seems even more shocked than before, good, that meant I still had some semblance of control over this situation. Then his face contorts into a scowl.

"So you didn't know about my little run in with Leah at the Ateara store?"

I roll my eyes, "You really don't know me, do you?" he goes to say something when I hold up my hand to stop him, "I would never ask Leah to do anything like _that_, Paul, I'm not that childish for god's sake!"

He glances down, "I know, I just- I don't know what I was thinking, I mean, you broke things off with me and I was upset and then I phased and Sam started with me, _again, _and I just had to let off some steam," I cringe at his word usage and he leans forward placing a hand on my leg, "Bella, I'm sorry."

I shake my head but keep my eyes lowered to the slap board beneath us, "You have nothing to apologise for, Paul, you can choose to sleep with whoever you want, because we're not together anymore," I snort, "Hell, it wasn't even like we were _together _before anyway!"

Paul winces at my statement but I refuse to take it back and then he looks down at his own hands, wringing them in his lap, "Bella, I want you back," my jaw drops at this statement as he looks up at me, piercing me with his pleading eyes, more than just an apology shining in them. I swallow and look down at my own lap.

"What are you talking about, Paul?"

"I'm talking about how I miss you, and how, even though it's only been a little over a week and I made the mistake of sleeping with other girls," I wince at the plural but he carries on anyway, "I haven't been able to stop thinking about you," I gaze up at him in horror.

"Even when you were _with _that other girl?!"

Paul catches onto what I'm saying and then wrinkles his nose in disgust, "No! Of course not, Bella! Fuck! What do you take me for?!"

I raise a brow at him and he sighs, "Maybe we didn't know each other well enough before. But now, I want you to know everything, Bella, can I tell you?" He shoots me a pleading look once again and I swallow thickly.

"Fine, but not here, I'm in the middle of celebrating Jake's birthday right now," we both stand and he lingers on the porch unsure for a moment, I roll my eyes, "You wanna come in?"

He glances behind me and shakes his head, "No that's okay, do you think you'll be able to stop by my place later, I could cook for us?"

I smile softly at him, "Sure, though I doubt I'll be able to eat anything after I'm done here!"

Paul smiles too and then backs away slowly, "Kay, I'll see you later," I nod and make my way back inside.

Just as I make my way inside, Leah exits the kitchen, "Who was that?" she asks, pointing to the front door with her empty hand. I move towards her and take the spoon off of her empty plate that is holding her peach cobbler and take a bite.

"It was Paul," I mumble as I chew, relishing in the taste of my own baked goods, Leah props a hand on her hip as I take another bite.

"And just what did he want?! Another kick in the balls, 'cause I'll give it him, all he has to do is ask!"

I roll my eyes and at her and hold out the spoon to her, she takes it from me and spoons another bite into her mouth and then chews angrily, I sigh and sink to the floor, leaning my back against the wall that faces Billy's room and the bathroom.

Leah copies me and sighs, sinking down next to me, "He wants me back," I whisper and this time she offers me a spoonful of peach cobbler.

I eat from her and then realise something and throw my head back, "Ow!" Leah rolls her eyes at me.

"What is it now?" I rub the back of my head and scowl at the door in front of me.

"Nothing, I just realised I'm eating peach cobbler and I used to call Paul peach!"

Leah snorts, "You're pathetic, you know that?" It's clearly a rhetorical question so I don't answer, "Are you gonna take him back?"

I lean my head – gently – against the wall facing Leah and nod slightly. She nods too and then a wry smile comes over her face, "The sex is amazing isn't it?" I gasp and sit up right on my knees.

"Lee!"

"What?" she asks innocently and I stand up. Leah stands too and tries to meet my eyes as desperately as I try to avoid hers, "You mean you guys haven't…?" she trails off, which I'm grateful for. I shake my head, blushing crimson. "Well shit, B, now you definitely have to take him back!"

I send her a glare and she just shrugs, "Seriously, at least have one roll in the sack with that sexy beast before you call it quits!"

My mouth drops but she just spoons another bite of cobbler into her own, "Trust me, you won't regret it," she winks at me and then saunters back into the kitchen, leaving me slack-jawed and bug-eyed.

~OE~

By the time I've managed to compose myself and make it back in, the kitchen is empty. I walk through into the living room and find them all there, seated in various places of the room, holding their full stomachs. "Never ever invite me out with you again, ever!" Zohar says and then rolls his head to face me, "Or else!" he threatens weakly.

I eye him suspiciously, "So are you telling me you don't want cookies?" they are all silent before trying to hoist themselves up and into the kitchen once more. I snicker to myself and lead the way to the kitchen where the still warm cookies are waiting.

~OE~

Quil is the first to leave, but not before cracking a few dirty jokes and also thanking me profusely for inviting him. I pull him into a hug and then pull back, smiling genuinely at him. No doubt the last few weeks had been difficult for him due to Embry's obvious absence and Jake keeping his distance.

I felt happy that I has thought to include him today. I hand him a huge slice of Jake's birthday cake and wrapped in aluminium foil, "I'm sending this for your mom and dad, share it with them." Quil grins cheekily at me.

"Sure I'll _share _it," he gives me one last wink before heading out, I go to close the front door when Zohar walks up to me.

"I'm gonna head out too Beautiful," my brow furrows.

"But you came here with me and you have no car."

Zohar shrugs, "Leah said you'll be staying out here for a while anyway, so I could take your truck back and then Leah will drive you home."

I narrow my eyes, "Will she now, and do you even know the way back to Forks?"

He shrugs again and Seth approaches, "I'll take him Bells, and then Leah can pick me up in the same loop when she drops you off," he doesn't give me a chance to reply before he tugs the keys out of my hands and leads Zohar out, not before both of them kiss me on the cheek.

"Well," Leah announces from behind me, I turn to face her, "I'm going too."

"Oh no you're not! You Miss Clearwater, are my ride home, so you are staying until I'm done!"

She rolls her eyes and moves past me, "Puh-lease, I helped you wash the dishes and I'm pretty sure Jake wants to speak to you, I'll swing by later to take you home." She walks out the door behind her, calling out, "Bye!" as she goes.

I shut the door behind her and sigh, Jake pops his head out from the kitchen and smiles at me, "Can I talk to you for a minute, Bells?" I nod and make my way towards him.

We enter the kitchen and sit at the table, Jake picks at the cookies that are left over in silence, his hands hold a slight tremor, I smile down at them softly, "Jake?" He glances up at me, "You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine, I just don't know how to feel."

"What do you mean, Jake?" I reach over and cover one of his hands with mine, I manage to refrain from wincing at the temperature of his skin.

He shrugs, "I've been thinking a lot about what you said a couple of weeks ago," I nod to encourage him, "I think maybe I wanna call Sam and ask him about what's happening to me."

My eyes lock on his and I nod encouragingly, "Of course Jake, that's good news, I think you should, I mean, he can definitely help you."

His brow furrows but he nods too, "I really, I just think you should be here, I mean you're his friend and you're my friend too."

"Sure, do you wanna call him now, or we could go over there and speak to him?"

Jake looks up, "Can we go over there, this might be better face to face."

I stand from the table and hold my hand out to him, "Does your dad know you're doing this?"

Jake shakes his head and stands too, taking my hand, "Come on then, we'll call Sam on the way and let him know we're on our way."

~OE~

I knock on the screen door and Sam opens it, a careful smile on his face, though his eyes shine with authority. He gestures for us to enter and I make my way into the kitchen, Jake follows me hesitantly and steps into the kitchen too.

Sam pulls me into a hug and whispers hey to me, "You okay, Bella?" I nod against him and move back.

"I'm good, you?" Sam nods and moves a large hand up to ruffle my hair, "Hey!" I yell and move away from him.

He turns to Jake, "Happy Birthday kid."

Jake nods from his seat on the table, "Thanks man," Sam rummages in the fridge and comes to the table with a pitcher of fresh lemonade. I move over to the cupboard and grab some clean glasses.

I take them to the table and Sam sits whilst I pour the lemonade. The silence is deafening, but then again, I knew this was gonna be awkward. I clear my throat, "Where's Emily?"

Sam looks up at me, "She's out visiting her parents and her sister, you remember Jennifer?"

I roll my eyes and hand out the glasses, "Oh who could forget her."

We chuckle and then I glance at Jake, he circles his cup with shaking hands and stares down at the table. "Jake?" he looks up at me and I smile encouragingly, "Wanna explain to Sam what you've been feeling?" Jake nods and then clears his throat.

"It's just," he meets Sam's eyes, I'm so proud of him in this moment. Asking for help went against his nature but he needed to understand that it was okay to trust Sam. "I remember when you went missing a couple years ago," to his credit, Sam doesn't even flinch when Jake mentions this.

"I remember how you were before and then when you came back, the growth spurt you had, and I think I never really bought it when the council went on and on about how you'd been away for some kind of training or something. I think maybe the same thing is happening to me," Jake takes a drink from his cup, his hands are shaking even more and I reach over and hold one. He squeezes it in thanks.

Sam clears his throat, "I think you might be right, Jake," Jake's head snaps up and he swallows.

"I think you need to read the Tribal legends Jake," Sam states calmly and this time Jake narrows his eyes.

"What do mean, they're a load of bullshit, I don't even wanna go there."

Sam's jaw clenches, "Believe me Jake, they hold much more of the truth than you could ever imagine."

Jake meets his eyes and they stare at each other for a moment then all of a sudden Jake stands abruptly, "Thank you for your help, Sam," he sneers the name and stalks from the room, slamming the screen door behind him,

I stand too and whisper, "I'm so sorry Sam," before going after him, "Jake! Jake!" I yell and he turns to me just as we move off of Sam's driveway.

"What!?" I flinch at his harsh tone, he carries on walking but I run after him.

"Jake he was just trying to help like we asked!"

This time he stops and glares at me, "Thanks but id dint need that kind of help, that's all my fucking dad says to me, 'read the legends' 'read the legends,' I'm sick of that shit! I hate it!"

I hang back as he carries on forward, "Well maybe you should listen!" I yell and then turn and walk off in a different direction and stalk away.

"Bella! Wait up, can we talk about this?!"

"No!" I yell back and carry on walking, "We were only trying to help you! When are you gonna get that through your thick head!"

Before he can follow me I break into a run further in the opposite direction.

~OE~

I end up on a path I only remember having travelled in a car. I reach the door and knock hesitantly, as it swings open, I can't help but feel emotionally drained. His face comes into view and before in know what I'm doing, I throw myself forward and fall against his chest.

Paul's arms come up around me and crush me to him, I settle my face against his beating heart and circle his waist, letting a few silent tears spill over and down on my cheeks.

He pulls me inside the house, still keeping me clasped to him and kicks the door shut, moving us forward to the couch and sitting us down. I go to move away but holds me fast, "Just one more minute," he mumbles and I nod. I manage to free one hand and swipe at my eyes and nose.

After a few moments when I try to pull back Paul doesn't stop me. I clear my throat and sit back, leaning my back against the arm of the couch and resting my knees in front of me.

Paul sits back to, folding his hands between his open legs, he looks at me sideways, "You okay?" I sniffle and nod. "You hungry?"

"No Paul, I'm not," he nods and then sighs.

"What's wrong?" I almost snort at his question and rub my forehead with one hand.

"Stuff just keeps happening and it's just getting to be a bit much," I almost start crying again, my bottom lip quivers but I hold it.

Paul smiles, "What stuff," I sniffle and sit up straighter.

"Do you know I'm gonna be an aunty now," Paul's eyes snap to mine.

"Leah's pregnant!?"

My eyes widen, "No! Of course not! My friend from school, Jessica, she's pregnant," Paul lifts his head in understanding.

"Yeah, Sue would kill Leah if that ever happened," I smile, thinking of how true that statement is. "I made spaghetti?" Paul offers.

"I told you Paul, I'm really not that hungry yet, maybe later." I yawn and glance around the room, the walls are bare except an exceptional drawing hanging on the wall, behind me there's a small kitchenette area and then a door which I'm presuming lead to the bedroom and bathroom. I bring my attention back to the picture, it seems to be a family portrait. "Who did that?"

Paul smiles wistfully, "My mother, she's a talented drawer."

"It's beautiful, she really is so talented," Paul smiles at me, "How old were you in that picture?" His face drops and he looks down at his hands, his jaw clenching and un-clenching.

"Seven years old," he snorts then, "Then everything changed."

I move forward to sit next to him and rub his back with my left hand, "Paul we don't have to talk about this."

He sighs and sits up, my hand falls to my side, we stare at each other for a moment until I break our gaze, closing my eyes and yawning. Paul stands, "Come on," he holds a hand out to me and I take it. I move to stand with him and he tugs me towards the closed door, which opens into a small hallway consisting of two doors. He tugs me towards the farthest and opens the door, flipping on a light.

This room is bare too, only furnished with a large bed, a bedside table and dresser in the corner. Paul pulls me towards the bed and I hesitate, my brow furrowed. He turns to me and shakes his head, "That's not what I was thinking," he says softly, "And you're right, we don't have to have _that _talk today, you're tired, just come lie down with me."

I move forwards with him. He moves the duvet back and I remove my shoes, climbing up onto the bed, he climbs on too and we settle down on our sides facing each other. I put my hand under my head and try to get comfortable.

After a few moments of just lying there, I move towards him and curl myself into him.

Surrounded by his comforting embrace I fall asleep in peace.

~OE~

When I wake the next morning I'm alone in his bed, I see my cell phone on beside table, the text message light is flashing. I reach out and grab it and see there's a text from Charlie.

_Thanks for telling me you're staying with Paul, call me when you get home, love dad x_

I sit up and shove my phone in my pocket. Moving off the bed I make my way into the kitchen, Paul is in his sweats and a white t shirt making coffee and toast. "Hey," he says, bringing two cups of coffee to the tiny table in between the couch area and the kitchenette. I sit down at the table and take a mug from him, adding milk and sugar to mine and then taking a big sip.

"Hey," I say back and then sip my coffee like it's my lifeline.

Paul sits across from me, "I texted your dad off of your phone last night, I hope you don't mind?"

I shake my head and reach for a piece of toast, "So what are we doing about us, Bella?" I put the toast on my plate and grab some chocolate spread.

"I don't feel like talking about us Paul, thanks for letting me stay here, but I just don't really know what to say."

"But it thought last night-"

"Last night, I just didn't feel like being alone and you'd said you wanted to talk and I was feeling vulnerable. I do want to sort things out, but not now, later please."

Paul looks disheartened, but I decide to leave it alone for a while, I'd woken up in a strange mood. I couldn't explain it. I just felt like something big was going to happen and I felt so out of touch with myself since waking up.

"I have to go to work now, Bella," Paul says quietly and I nod.

"Okay, can you give me a ride home, Leah was supposed to yesterday but I must have fell asleep."

"So that's why she was blowing up my home line?" he lifts his head in understanding, "It all makes sense now."

We finish the rest of our breakfast in silence and then move towards the front door to start our day. As we step out onto the porch Leah's car pulls up, even though she can see us standing there she beeps us twice.

I turn to Paul, he's giving me a look that I can't comprehend, "Thank you for letting me stay here, Paul."

He nods and meets me square in the eyes, "I still want you back Little Red," he goes to reach for me but I step back.

"We'll talk later," I go to move away but he grabs me, forcing me to face him and holding me by the upper arms.

"No Bella, I want to sort things out between us! I still want to be with you! I'm ready to talk about things and I want us to be okay! And unless you hear me out or agree to her me out I'm not letting you go anywhere!"

I try to break free of his grasp but it's no use, "Fine!" I yell and he finally lets me go. "Fine, we'll meet at the diner at seven."

Paul nods and then stalks over to his own truck, getting in and driving away.

I lean my head back and sigh, Leah beeps again and I scowl at her making my way to get in the car.

"Everything kosher, kid?" She asks and I turn to face her.

"No, nothings good!"

"Did you not make up with him?"

I sigh again and shake my head, "No, I didn't feel like talking about it, I was just upset and tired and I just left without saying anything."

Leah is silent for a few moments and then she busts out laughing, I glare at her but she just carries on laughing. After a couple of minutes I can't help but join in with her. I have no idea why we are laughing, but suddenly the complex issues of my life are hilarious.

I try to catch my breath and Leah struggles to say something, "Ple-eas-se tell- m-me you a-at lea-st slep-pt with hi-im?!"

I gasp and slap her arm, "Leah!"

We giggle some more and drive towards the rising sun.

**Review if you like :)**


	23. Imprinting

**A/N: Thank you for the usual.**

**Any mistakes are mine, not Beta'd.**

**I have nothing to say except READ!**

**Enjoy! :)**

_21__st__ Jan_

I didn't go to see Paul at the diner at seven. Jake had called me that night, saying that he had indeed had a look at the legends and was more than positive something 'more than human' was going on. I had taken this revelation as a good sign, he was getting warmer. I did call Paul that evening to cancel, and he understood. After all being part of the pack meant that he was busier than ever too.

It was Saturday today and I found myself in Forks' town centre looking around for job vacancies. I had spent too much time at home, over-thinking everything and it was actually Charlie who had suggested I look for something.

After sitting through a couple of interviews at the supermarket and the hardware store I'd decided that they both weren't for me.

I stopped by the diner and picked up a blueberry muffin to go and walked around for a while. I ended up walking in a circle, finding myself sitting on the bench outside the same diner.

Pulling out a newspaper from my bag I skip to the job's section and scan the page looking for something that I could take up. I bite into the muffin and sigh contentedly. It had been a while since I'd had a day to myself to just be, and I was thoroughly enjoying myself.

Half way through eating my muffin my cell phone starts ringing. I throw the rest of the muffin in the bin, no point in enjoying my alone time now since I'm pretty sure it was about to be ruined. I pull out my cell and press answer, "Bella!" Sam yells on the other side, I wince and then the urgency in his voice registers.

"Sam, what is it?!"

"It's Jake! You have to get down here fast!"

"On it!" I yell back and then hang up. A few days ago, I'd manage to convince Sam to let me be there when Jake did finally phase. He'd thought it was an incredibly stupid idea. Especially since I was the one who kept Jake on the brink and stopped him from finally tipping the balance. But the others always explained it as the worst thing that had happened to them, that I just didn't want Jake to be alone. After all he really didn't know any of the guys and at the moment he felt like he couldn't trust Embry.

I throw the paper away, collect my bag and make my way to the truck and start driving down to La Push.

~OE~

I park around the back of Sam's house and exit the truck running as fast as I can into the house, both the back door and the screen door are open. I run into the kitchen only to find it empty, minus Jared. He's sat there, eating ice cream straight from the tub. I start and then bend over trying to catch my breath.

"Where's Sam and Jake?"

Jared looks up at me and then shrugs, continuing to eat, "It was a false alarm."

I walk over to him and sit heavily in a chair across from him, "What do you mean? False alarm?"

He nods, "Yeah, apparently Jake just mystically calmed down, Sam's still over there with him and Paul and Em are on patrol."

I lift my head in understanding, "So basically my perfect day was ruined for nothing, where's Emily?"

Jared shrugs again, "She's still out of town, and don't worry Bella, you'll just get to spend the day with me!"

"Sure that's a real prize." I say dejectedly. Jared gasps.

"You hurt me!"

I lean over and tap him his arm mock consoling him and he chuckles, "So what do you wanna do?" I shrug and pick up a Satsuma from the fruit bowl and start peeling it. "You wanna hear a story?" I glance up at him and pop a piece of the fruit in my mouth.

"I'm listening," he nods and then stands, holding his hand out to me.

"Let's take this to the couch," he says ominously and I chuckle but take his hand and let him lead me to the living room. We settle on the couch, I shrug off my jacket and toe off my shoes making myself comfortable.

"So you've heard most of the legends right?" I nod and he does too, "Have you heard of imprinting?"

My brow furrows and I pop another piece in my mouth, "Nope. What's that?"

He clears his throat, "Basically it's a wolves' way of finding their soul mate." He pauses, as if he's just made the most important announcement in his life. I shrug and he sighs.

"Do you really think Sam would have hurt Leah on purpose?"

I narrow my eyes, unsure of where he's going with this, he did know that Leah was my best friend right? Jared shakes his head and then sighs, "It's okay Bella, I'm not cussing out anyone, I understand the rules of the 'girl code'."

Raising an eyebrow, I say, "Really Jared, really?"

He puts a hand over his heart, "Hey! I'm in touch with my feminine side!"

I laugh and he smiles at me, "Continue."

"Right, well an imprint is a wolf's soul mate. Basically when we see that person for the first time, and we meet their eyes, it's like a million little cables are connecting us to them, our hearts beat in sync, it's not gravity holding us to the earth anymore, it's them and they become our whole life. We'll do anything, be anything for them, whether that be a brother, friend or lover." He pauses and meets my eyes, "That's what my Kim is to me."

My eyes are wide as I listen to him and what he's saying, I'm silent in shock, speechless. Jared clears his throat, "You okay, kid?"

That seems to snap me out of it and I nod vigorously, "I'm okay," he goes quiet for a moment and I can't help but wonder. "So who out of you guys has imprinted?"

Jared smiles softly at me and then answers, "Me on Kim, Sam with Emily, none of the other's, Paul hasn't." I nod, grateful for the clarification. "You know that's part of the reason he's so afraid of commitment," I meet Jared's eyes fully, "Knowing that at every turning in his life people just keep leaving him. You mean a great deal to him, and if he committed to you and then imprinted on someone else and you left…" Jared shakes his head and stares out in front of him, "I don't think he'd ever be okay."

I swallow thickly, trying to get past the lump in my throat. I didn't even wanna go there, I can't believe no one ever thought to mention this to me, Sam, Paul, hell even Emily! They'd all had a chance to at some point and they'd all chosen not to. I decide to put this away for later and to keep Jared talking, that way I could distract myself from over-thinking this new information.

"So what happened with Sam and Emily?" I ask quietly. Jared seems to understand that and carries on talking.

"Well before Sam phased he was so in love with Leah, I mean really in love. No one ever suspected they would break up, a lot of girls were devastated, you know Sam was quite the catch." Jared winks at me and I manage a small smile in return.

"Anyway, when he came back after phasing, it put a lot of strain on their relationship, the council were adamant that he tell her nothing, so he couldn't. She got mad and broke things off, Sam was heartbroken and then one day, he was shopping in the grocery store and he saw Emily, looked into her eyes and as they say; the rest is history. He couldn't control it, he just had to be around her."

I look down at my knees, finally knowing the truth behind Leah's heart break, I was completely stunned to silence, how was I gonna be able to face her knowing this and not spill my guts to her?

"Leah was freaked out," Jared continues softly and I glance up at him, "She was so mad. And so was Emily in the beginning, but the pull is too strong, and soon enough, she couldn't stay away either. That only made it worse for Leah."

I glare down at the coffee table, "I know," I mumble. Remembering Leah's stories of the sleazy parties she'd attended, the booze and the drugs and all the different men.

Jared clears his throat, "That's how Emily got those scars you know, she was trying to run away and Sam's wolf was so mad, he couldn't control himself and he phased. Em was too close and he ended up hurting her in the worst way, I don't think he'll ever forgive himself for that, even though she has."

My brow furrows, they were all victims in this, all hurt in one way or another. I steer us in a different direction, "So how did it go with you and Kim?"

A huge smile takes over his face, the sadness at his brother's heart break vanishing.

"Ours was easy," I let a small smile grace my lips at the happiness on his face. "Kim had been into me from as long as she could remember, I don't think I'd ever really noticed her. After I'd phased, it took two weeks to be able to go back to school. I'd needed a pencil one day and asked her for one. When she turned to look at me, I'd imprinted, right there and then in the middle of math class." He finishes with a cheesy grin on his face.

"You seem happy?"

He nods, "Imprinting isn't a bad thing, just because we've had one bad experience, doesn't mean they all will be. Kim and I couldn't be happier, she's gonna go off to community college and I'm gonna stay down here and work. We're gonna build our own house the way we want it, we'll always be happy and together. Not many things in life are guaranteed Bella. Sometimes you have to take what you can get and be happy about it."

I nod at his logic, glad to have had this little chat with him. He seemed like a simple guy, but he was actually really deep.

"Oh and for the record, both Sam and Paul wanted to tell you about imprinting, but Billy thought it would be a good idea to leave it alone for a while. You've already had so much to deal with." I narrow my eyes again, sick and tire of people trying to 'protect' me.

I clear my throat and try to clear my mind, this was too much information, so much for a quiet Saturday evening all to myself.

"I'm hungry," Jared announces and I roll my eyes and stand, secretly happy for the distraction and make my way into the kitchen. Just as I lift the cheese from the fridge the home line rings. I hesitate not sure if I should answer it, "Can you get that?" Jared yells from the living room.

I pick up the receiver, "Hello?"

"Bella, come to Jake's now, bring Jared." Sam sounds out of breath. The line goes dead and I hang the phone back up. I turn towards the living room to find Jared already there, he holds a hand out to me and I take it.

"You're not gonna pass out on me, are you?" I shake my head, but the truth is I can't be sure.

Half way down the drive way Jared bends at the knees and hoists me into his arms and takes off running. I bury my face against his shoulder as he runs with me bridal style through the forest. We soon start to slow down as we break through the shrubbery outside Jake's house.

We stop and he lets me down. I freeze as I try to make out the scene before me. Jake is on the ground on his hands and knees, seat pouring from his body. Sam is standing a few feet away in between both of us, murmuring stuff to Jake. Paul and Embry are nowhere to be seen but I'm confident they are around here somewhere.

Jared leaves my side to go stand next to Sam and I move to follow him when warm arms cross over my chest stopping me from moving. I struggle with my keeper for a moment until warm breath coats my neck, "Sam said you could be here, Little Red, but he said nothing about you getting too close."

I narrow my eyes and try to break free again, but obviously it's no use. I try a different tactic. "Jake!" I yell and at first he doesn't notice me.

"Shut the fuck up! Are you trying to attract a crowd?!" Paul whisper shouts in my ear but I choose to ignore him. Sam doesn't say anything so I take that as a sign to continue.

"Jake! Jake! Look at me, Jake!"

His head snaps up to mine and I gasp, his eyes are glowing yellow, I struggle some more with Paul desperately and Jake's eyes seem to zoom in on his hands. He lets out an animalistic noise and then groans, throwing his head back and then letting it drop to the ground.

A snapping noise echoes through the air and that's enough to make me go limp, that sounded a lot like his freaking spine snapping in two. Another snap quickly follows, and another, and then another. I cringe as this happens and then something Leah said to me a few days ago registers in my mind.

"I'm so sorry Paul," I whisper and I hear him about to retort when I bend my leg and move my foot up towards his groin, kicking as hard as I can. He grunts in pain and then releases me. I make my break and try to run forward. Only focusing on Jake, whose eyes are intensely locked on mine.

Another pair of arms constrict around me and that seems to tip the balance.

Several more cracking sounds fill the air as Jake's body contorts and grows, the lines around his body blur and fade until fur erupts from every pore of his skin, he lets out a trail of painful screams and I move my hands up to cover my ears. Embry's large hand moves up and clasps my head against his chest.

I realise in this moment I'm sobbing, tears pouring down my cheeks. Everything in my vision is blurry. It goes silent and then there, stood before us is a huge russet coloured wolf; Jake.

Chaos ensues, Sam sheds his own shorts and immediately phases but Jake stalks forward towards Embry and me. He snarls, realising he has the upper hand and carries on towards us, behind me I hear Embry try to reason but it's no use.

Sam tries to head him off, to break his train of thought but nothing works.

Paul, having recovered, makes his way to Embry's side and I see my chance. As Embry tries to pass me off to Paul, I run. I run forward faster than I've ever ran before and dodge Sam's wolf, "Jake!" I scream and his yellow wolf eyes begin to focus on me.

"Jake!" I yell again as I approach him and meet him fully in the eyes and then I start to slow down. Jake freezes as we gaze into each other's eyes. My heart stop beating for a moment and then continues again, at a faster rate. At first I'm scared, scared that I'm dying but looking into Jake's eyes I realise that's not true. My heart is beating in rhythm with his.

Jake carries on towards me, even five feet away I can tell he towers above me, his wolf-self as tall as a horse. Everything seems to happen in slow motion, I see something flicker in his eyes, something that reminds me off human-Jake; and then I blink.

I blink multiple times and focus again on Jake. Everything around me doesn't matter anymore, blurred out by the importance of this first meeting between me and my wolf. I move forward slowly as to not startle him.

Once I reach Jake we stare at each other until I can't take it anymore.

Overcome with emotion I throw myself forward, he seems to share my idea and leans down towards me, I bury my face against his massive shoulder relishing in the feel of his soft fur. I reach my arms up around his neck and hold him to me tightly.

After a few moments of being like this he huffs against my neck, and I move back.

Then he's not the wolf anymore, but my Jake, kneeling before me as naked as the day he was born. I drop to my knees mirroring him as we stare at each other in awe. Never getting enough of drinking each other in.

I swallow thickly and his eyes move between mine, then he lets out a mournful sob and falls against my lap, burying his face there.

My heart clenches painfully in my own chest, almost like phantom pain and I set to comfort him, curling myself over his body in my lap and holding onto whatever I can as tightly as I can.

The wetness of his tears coat my thighs, my own tears leak out into his hair, "Shh, Shh," I mumble against him and coo softly, "You're okay Jake, I've got you." He sobs harder at my words.

A chorus of howls sound from somewhere behind me, each sounding different in tone.

One howl sounding a lot further away than the others.

**A/N: Review if you like *wink* ;) And, please don't hate me!**


	24. Legends

**A/N: So I forgot to mention that I revisited the chapter where Jess tells the girls she's pregnant, 'Expecting', re-check it out as I added some more conversation that is important.**

**Sorry for the absence, there was a music festival (Park Life) literally across the street from my house in a national park. And we have a business there, so I was up until 2:00AM both Saturday and Sunday serving drunken people more alcohol… needless to say I'm exhausted…**

**Thank you for the usual!**

**Mistakes are mine, Not Beta'd.**

**Enjoy :)**

_21__st__ Jan… continued. _

"Bella?" Sam asks from behind me.

My eyes snap open and I move back from Jake. He glances briefly over my shoulder and then rises slowly, grasping my shoulders.

"Bella," Sam continues, "I know this is probably a little weird for you right now, and you don't know what's-"

I throw Jakes hands off of me and turn to glare at Sam, "Don't know what!?" I yell and move forward. I push at his chest, but of course he doesn't move. Instead he grabs me by the forearms and moves me back. Jake growls from behind us but he seems a little more under control. I figure Sam must have used the scary voice on him.

"Don't know what? Huh?" Sam swallows and stares down at me, I snort. "Oh, about the _imprint?!" _his jaw drops and I glare at him breathing heavily. "Oh yeah Sam, I know about that now, since you didn't have courtesy to tell me! Jared told me!"

Sam's jaw clenches and then he shakes his head and stares down at me. "You need to go inside with Billy, Bella." His gaze flickers to the back porch where Billy is waiting, "Jake and I have stuff we need to discuss." He doesn't give me a chance to protest. Embry stalks over to me, lifts me and carries me over to the house, me struggling all the way. At one point I hear Jake behind me but Sam heads him off.

Embry drops me on the porch and pushes me inside; I turn to him and meet his eyes. Behind us, Billy wheels himself back inside. "Em, please I want to be out there with him, he's vulnerable right now and god knows Sam might keep something from him," I finish with a nasty scowl on my face but Embry shakes his head.

"Go inside Bella, we need to have this talk with alone with Jake, we need to meet him properly," my brow furrows and Embry rolls his eyes, "As wolves." I lift my head in understanding and then sigh.

"You'll look out for him?"

Embry smiles, "Of course, he's my best friend."

I groan, "Promise me, Em."

He raises a brow at me, "I promise" he says and then ruffles my hair and walks back towards the guys. I sigh again and look over to them, ignoring everyone but Jake. He meets my eyes and I send him a tiny smile. Almost on reflex his body snaps towards mine and he begins to walk forward.

A strong muscled arm comes up across his chest as Sam blocks his advance, I scowl at Sam but he chooses to ignore me; _what a girl!_

"Bella?" I turn to find Billy gazing at me amusedly; I raise a brow at him. "Come on in sweetheart, why don't we make something to eat."

I nod and then step into the house and slam the screen door behind me, Billy winces. I got to move towards the stove when something tugs in my chest. I stop in the middle of the kitchen and rub at my chest. "You alright?" Billy eyes me warily.

"Yeah, it's just…" I trail off not really sure how to put into words the feeling. I close my eyes and rub at them tiredly, "Billy? Is there anything I can do in the meantime, I hate waiting."

He gives me a knowing smirk, "Why don't you make some dinner?"

I scowl, "I'm not cooking for Sam," Billy raises an eyebrow and I give him a sheepish look, "Oh. You meant Jake?" He nods and then rolls himself over to the kitchen table and picks up a paper, pretending to do the crossword puzzle.

"Alright then," I open the fridge and peer inside.

"I think we've got some steaks in there Bella."

I notice the bag and pull them out, "How do a steak and a baked potato sound to you Billy?"

He smiles at me with old family familiar warmth, "That sounds great, sweetie."

I nod and get to cooking, marinating the steaks and preparing the potatoes and then peeling some carrots and broccoli. A burst of pride surges within me, they actually had some type of veg in their fridge, and right now, I was all for small victories.

After turning on the oven, I pop in the baked potatoes to let them cook, Billy decided to take himself to the living room where Old Quil and him are now intensely locked in a conversation. I lean back against the counter and process everything, I wasn't really mad at Sam. I just didn't have anyone to blame right now, so I was choosing him.

I shrug to myself and check the potatoes, they'd be an hour yet and it's not exactly like I could sit with Billy and Old Quil. Especially after the nasty glare I'd gotten from the old guy. I exit the kitchen and move down the tiny hall to Jakes room.

The door is slightly ajar so I push it open. The room is empty of course, just the usual books and papers on the desk and a few clothes strewn over the desk chair.

I close the door behind me and breathe in his undeniable calming scent. I take a seat on his bed and stare at the wall.

Gosh, how this made things different. I mean, did I want things to be different, did I need another relationship? I don't think I did. I think right now I really needed a best friend, someone who was solely focused on being my friend and didn't bother with the romantic stuff. Someone who could hold me and see me cry and even let me snot on their shoulder a little. I screw up my nose at the thought and then smile.

Jake could be that person for me.

A tiny little weight lifts itself off of my shoulders and something cements in my heart.

Sighing at myself for overthinking everything the first chance I get, I let myself fall back against Jake's pillow. His scent is even stronger here, I turn on my side and bury my nose in it, closing my eyes and focus on relaxing each part of my body, a little at a time.

~OE~

A large warm hand strokes over my head and down my back. I groan and then blink a few times trying to see out of my sleepy eyes. I finally open them to find that everything is darker than it was when I presumably fell asleep. My whole body feels sore and overused.

I move my head back to find Sam, sat on the edge of the bed staring down at me. I clear my throat.

He shoots an empty smile down at me, "Hey," he whispers and I return the smile, my little nap making sure I was over my anger at him.

I clear my throat again and sit up against the headboard, Sam's hand drops between us, "Where's Jake?"

Sam glances down, "He's in the bathroom. I think you should go see if he's alright. He won't let any of us in to help him."

Worry bubbles within me and my breathing speeds up. I throw my legs off of the side of the bed, effectively seating myself next to Sam and then wince. "You okay, Bella?

I ignore his question, instead firing one of my own at him. "Did you tell him everything?"

"Yeah," he clears his throat, "There are some things that you need to know Bella." I nod and he coughs, "We told him about the Cullen's too." I swallow thickly and nod.

Sam sighs and pats my left thigh, "Go see him Bella, he really needs you right now."

I get off the bed and move towards the door, "Thank you Bella." I turn back to see him gazing at me admiringly, "For being there for Jake, you were brave. I wish we'd all had someone like you there." I smile softly at him and then move across the hall towards the bathroom. I knock on the door but there's no answer. I lean my head against the door but can't hear the water running.

It's completely silent on the other side; I knock again and then give up. I push the door open and step inside then close it behind me.

Jake is sat on the closed toilet lid, playing with some kitchen shears. He glances up at me and then locks his eyes on mine. We stare at each other for a moment and I see everything play out in his eyes. The emotions as real as if they were my own. A desperate urge comes from inside of me and I lurch forward.

He drops the scissors as I approach and stand between his parted legs, holding him to me, he buries his face into the crook of my neck inhaling deeply.

"Bells…" he murmurs my name brokenly. His hands hold onto my waist and I coo at him.

After a few moments I pull back, holding his face in my hands I smile down at him, "Hey soul mate," he winces and looks down between us, "Too soon?"

Jake glares up at me and I swallow. He looks away sideways and I run my hand through his long hair, he winces. I pull some leaves from his hair and drop them on the floor. The rest of his body is coated with dirt and mud; it's even smeared across the cotton shorts he's wearing.

"Jake?" he looks up at me, "You gonna get in the shower?"

He nods and then goes to get up. I move back to give him space and he stands, towering over me, wincing as he does and then doubles over. "Jake!" I gasp and go to help him but he stands more confidently. "What's wrong, Jake?!"

He raises an eyebrow at me, and I roll my eyes, "Oh you mean besides everything else?" he croaks.

"Jake…"

"I just hurt, everywhere. Every bone in my body broke for the transformation. It just hurts all over."

I frown, "Let me turn the shower on for you, honey," I move over to the shower and before I turn it on glance back to Jake. He's sat there, motionless. I walk over to him again and kneel before him, "Come get in the shower." He shakes his head at me. I frown and rub his right knee, "Why?"

He stands abruptly and moves away from to stand in front of the sink, I realise he has the scissors in his hand. I rise slowly as he starts violently hacking at his hair. My eyes widen and I rush over grabbing one of his arms to try and stop him, "Jake! What are you doing?!" He shrugs me off, sending me a few feet back.

I swallow thickly as tears fill my eyes, seeing lock after lock of his beautiful hair fall to its death on the floor. I stand there helplessly, shaking as tears roll down my cheeks. So much had changed in the last hour or so, I was overwhelmed. I close my eyes unable to cope with the emotions coursing through me and walk blindly backwards until my back hits the door. I slide down the door to the floor and sit there, my eyes clenched shut.

All I can hear is the crunching sound of the scissors as Jake cuts away the last piece of his old self. Minutes pass, how many I can't be sure, but after a little while the sound stops and we're enveloped in silence once again.

Two warm hands cover my own that are wrapped around my knees, hugging them to my chest. I jump at the contact and peel my eyes open. Jake is sat on the floor in front of me, his hands outstretched and resting on mine. His hair looks like it has been shredded. It sits in an uneven nest on the top of his head, choppy and longer in some places.

He looks at me imploringly, "Bells?"

"W-why?" I sob and he shakes his head, I throw my head back against the door, not caring in the least if I'd have a bump there. Jake winces too. I roll my eyes back and stare at the ceiling hopelessly.

"Bella," my eyes snap back to his at the desperate quality in his voice, "I don't love you anymore."

My eyes widen and I gasp, feeling crippling pain in my chest. I double forward, wrapping my arms around my middle and press my forehead to the floor as I try and gasp for breath.

Warm arms wrap around me, forcing my own down by my sides as Jake picks me up and then sit back against the door, cradling me in his lap. "Shh, shh, honey." I sob harder. How could he expect me to stop now after that revelation? I gasp for breath once more, my chest closing, feeling tighter and tighter. "That is not what I meant, honey, let me explain."

I look up at him with watery eyes, holding my breath. He leans down and places a searing kiss to my forehead; he pulls back and then pushes my hair back with one hand. "What I meant to say, is that I'm not _in_ love with you anymore," I frown and he stares out in front of us.

"H-how long was I out for _that_ to happen?" I try to joke, but it sounds stupid with my voice all watery and he snorts, looking back at me.

"Not that long, it's about eight now."

I lift my head in understanding and then gasp, "The potatoes!"

Jake holds me tighter as to deter my escape, "Don't worry about it, my dad and the guys have it under control. My dad has been cooking for almost ten years now, Bells." I nod and settle back into him, leaning my head against his chest.

I clear my throat, "So let me get this straight, you don't feel _that _kind of love for me anymore?" he nods against me from where his chin is resting at the crown of my head. "What do you feel for me?"

"Unconditional love, the brotherly kind. I feel like I could lay my life down for you, give you anything, and be anything for you if it made you happy."

I swallow uncomfortably, feeling uneasy with having that much 'power' in a relationship, even if it was just a friendly one.

"But old Quil says it's different for us."

I glance up at him, "How?"

He smiles softly, "Remember I told you about me being next in line to become chief of the tribe?" I nod remembering us at the hospital the night of Harry's death. "Well me being my great grandfather's, great grandson means that I'm supposed Alpha of this generations pack."

I frown, "I thought Sam was Alpha?"

"He is, but because he was the first to phase, he automatically held the position because I wasn't phased, now that I am, we can feel the tension. Something inside of me keeps pushing me to fight him for it."

My eyes widen and I gasp, "Are you gonna fight him?!"

He shakes his head, "You have to understand that being chief or Alpha are the last things I want." I reach for his burning hand and hold it tightly in one of my own. "But Sam wants out Bells," my brow furrows, "Not out of the pack, just out of Alpha position." He continues as if reading my mind. "We're gonna work together to try and I guess I'll shadow him and slowly take over responsibility." He swallows thickly and I narrow my eyes.

"What else is it, Jake?"

"The only way to pass on the role is if we fight to near death for it," I gasp again and he shrugs, "We will be able to survive it, but most likely the one who loses will never be able to defend their tribe again as a spirit warrior." My eyes fill with tears again.

"There has to be another way, Jake?"

"Oh, did I forget to mention that if Sam dies, then it will automatically be transferred to me?"

I let out a sob, and Jake catches a tear on my cheek, wiping it away with the pad of his finger. "Is it really all bad Jake?"

"No," he says, running his fingers absent minded through my hair, "You know that we can all hear each other when we're phased, like telepathy?" I nod and he continues, "It sucks, but at the same time it's cool. And the speed. Running through the forest feels exhilarating. We've stopped aging. That's weird but we look 25 years old anyway, so…"

I meet his eyes, "We never get sick and have fast healing and there's so much more stuff. Like the super strength to kill vamp-"

He cut himself off, freezing underneath me. "What is it, Jake?"

Jake looks down at me, slightly accusingly. "You were with that Cullen guy, and you _knew _what he was."

I glance down and for the first time, I feel embarrassed. My cheeks redden slightly and I look down at my hands. "Honestly, Jake, when I look back now, I don't even know what I was thinking. Being in love with him," I stare away unseeingly, "It felt like nothing else, like magic. When I was with him, it felt like nothing could touch me, like everything was perfect."

"When I look back now, I can see how stupid and spineless that version of me was. I hate it. I never want to be like that again. To depend so heavily on one person. I am a different person now, I'm stronger and I have respect for myself. Yes, I am kind of selfish these days but sometimes the right amount of selfish is just what I need. I'm a better person for it."

When I look back at Jake, he's staring down at me in awe, I blush of course and duck my head. He places a tender kiss on my forehead, "That's my girl," he whispers.

"Bells?"

"Hmm?"

"Why didn't you tell me anything?" I shrug against him, "I mean even a blind person could see how unnatural your relationship was with him, why didn't you say something?"

"The Cullen's secret was not mine to tell, and no offense, but you wouldn't have believed me." He goes to argue when I stop him. "Just the other day, Sam and I were trying to get you to believe the legends and you thought we were playing you, come on Jake, you would have thought I was crazy."

"I guess you're right," he mumbles into my hairline. "I'm glad we can talk like this now, I'm so glad I have you here, Bells."

He kisses my forehead and I sigh contentedly with him. Something he said before reminds me to ask, "Jake, what did you mean when you said the imprint is different with us?"

Jake sighs and stands with me in his arms, I wobble slightly and grasp tightly to his muscular shoulders. He gives me a sly grin, one I've never seen before. One that looks incredibly charming and disarming on his handsome face. I roll my eyes as he sniggers, he was gonna hurt a few ladies with that killer grin. "I'd never let you fall, honey. You know that."

I shrug as he sets me down on the edge of the tub and sits cross legged in front of me, holding both my hands in his resting on my knees.

"I'd never doubt that Mr Black, but you can't blame a girl for being careful," we share a smile and then I clear my throat. "You never answered my question, how is it different for us?"

He sighs heavily and then looks up at me, "Well first of all we're not in love like the others are." I nod and he continues, "It's different because I'm supposed to be Alpha, that's what old Quil keeps saying anyway."

"Explain," I say and release his hands so they rest on my knees and then run my fingers over the prominent knuckles.

"Well, being Alpha means I'm responsible not only for the pack, but also the whole tribe. Any decisions I make need to be made carefully as to always be in the best interests of the tribe and pack. So as to never put them in danger."

I nod and lift one hand between us, motioning him to carry on.

"Well the imprint, for 'normal wolves'," he shoots me that grown up grin again and I roll my eyes.

"You can keep flashing me that sexy grin, Black, but I gotta tell ya, it is _not_ working!"

"But you think it's sexy?" he lifts a suggestive brow.

I giggle, "I think you're an idiot, now finish telling me!"

He smiles, softer this time, "anyway, imprinting for 'normal wolves' means that the imprint is their main focus. The decisions they make are revolved around keeping their mate safe, it is very subjective." I nod and he shrugs.

"My wolf sees you as on par with my pack, not more important, and not less. You're all equal so therefore he's non-biased, objective. Makes him a good leader and decision maker. Being able to make decisions to benefit his family, tribe and pack, thus benefiting his imprint too."

I smile and reach up to move my fingers through his shorn hair, "I guess you have it all figured out huh?"

He nods and clears his throat, "I was so angry at old Quil. He'd been pushing the 'no telling until they've phased' rule real hard, even though my dad had wanted to break it. We sat together for a couple hours just talking things through whilst you slept before."

I narrow my eyes into slits at the mention of that old guy, "He glared at me." I state and lift my chin, bringing both my arms up and folding them over my chest in a petulant manner.

Jake snickers, "Yeah well, he got what he deserved. Let me tell you Bells, a guy doesn't look so authorative when he's got four big angry guys mad at him," he chuckles and I frown.

"You bullied an elder? Isn't that illegal?"

He lets out a full laugh and I smile, seeing that look on his face gave me hope. That everything would be okay. If we could sit here and joke and laugh after the events of today, we could get past anything.

We quieten down for a few moments and then both sigh at the same time, we glance at each other and then burst out laughing again.

I tap the end of his nose, "When did you start feeling the 'not-in love, love' for me, honey?"

He smiles as my finger dips over his full lips and to his chin. I tap there too and then rest my hands back on his. "About a half hour after you went inside. You must have made some sort of conscious decision. Every emotion is heightened along with our senses. When I first phased I felt this blazing love and need for you." I blush and the grin comes out to play again, I mock scowl at him and it dims a little.

"Then, almost like a switch had been turned off, it stopped. And all I could feel is what I feel now, unconditional love; just not the romantic kind."

I reach up and brush back some longer tendrils of his thick hair, "Do you think you'll be able to fall in love with someone else? Have a family?"

He sighs and reaches up to pull my hand from his hair and gives it a firm squeeze, "Hard to tell. It's been a long day, I might be able too, the love I felt for you is still there, just bubbling under the surface if you changed your mind."

I raise a brow at him and he blushes slightly glancing down, "Sam says I'm so much calmer than the others. Old Quil put it down to my heritage but my dad and Sam put it down to you." This time he reaches up and taps my nose, I smile sweetly and kiss the pad of his finger. I was secretly glad we could be like this now, approval runs through me. Light and teasing and familiar and touching without the underlying meaning; my perfect best friend.

"Are you gonna get in the shower or what Black, you're filthy?"

He grins at me, "Care to join?"

I snort, "Not a chance in hell!" He pulls me up to stand and I turn and lean over the side of the bath tub, "I'll just turn this on for you," I turn on the shower and then swivel to face him just as he drops his shorts. I gasp, "Jake!"

He just grins at me and saunters past. I turn around so my back is to him, blushing crimson and stride to the door, "Hurry up and meet me in the kitchen; the steaks will be waiting!"

I exit the door and lean back against it feeling incredibly embarrassed, I hear his faint chuckling behind me and I scowl as I make my way into the kitchen.

~OE~

Jared is the first to greet me, standing abruptly from the table and pulling me into a firm hug. He inhales deeply at my hairline and I frown from where I'm squashed against his chest. He purrs a little in my ear and then snuffs at me and finally releases me.

I stare up at him in confusion and he grins down at me, "Welcome, Alpha's girl!" I roll my eyes and he sits, Billy approaches me next. I kneel next to his chair and he takes my face between his hands, placing a firm fatherly kiss there and then pulling back to stare at me, unshed tears swimming in his eyes.

"It's okay," I whisper and he nods, sniffling and letting me go so I can stand once again.

Embry is next, he holds out his arms and I rush into them slipping my own arms around his waist and hugging hard. "Our boys okay," I murmur into his skin and I feel him nod against me, similarly he also sniffs and snuffs at me. When he release me he places a kiss on my cheek before letting me go.

I finally face Sam, he's staring down at me, pride shining in his arms. Tears well up in my own as he strides towards me, closing the gap and clasping me to him. He snuffs at the juncture where my shoulder meets neck, his nose moving up and skimming my hairline and then he places a sweet kiss on both cheeks and then my forehead. I pull back and meet his gaze.

He dries the tears from under my eyes and smiles down at me, "Welcome Bella, to the tribe, your induction ceremony will take place along with your wolfs on Saturday." He squeezes me to him again and whispers, "I am in awe of what you have done for us, sweetheart."

I blush, feeling self-conscious under their attention and scrutiny. Behind me the guys serve up their plates and retake their places at the table.

We hear the water shut off confirming that Jake will be joining us in a few moments.

As I go to grab the pitcher of ice cold water, something occurs to me. Panic sets in freezing my body as I drop the pitcher, the water spilling everywhere and coating the lower parts of my jeans and sneakers.

My breathing becomes faster as the panic increases and I glance around the room at all eyes on me. Jake bursts through the door and has me in his arms in a flash, murmuring comforting words to me, but I can't listen; won't listen.

I glance around the room again, feeling terror creep up on me until my eyes land on Sam's. I swallow desperately past the lump in my throat and manage to get out what has me so panicked.

"Where's Paul?"

**A/N: Review if you like :)**


	25. Declaring

**A/N: Thank you for the usual.**

**Mistakes are mine, not Beta'd.**

**Time to go get our boy back, *wink* Also, I know the research Bella does is a little farfetched but this is fiction. And besides, the girl wants answers, real ones.**

**Enjoy :)**

_21__st__ Jan… continued._

_Previously …_

_My breathing becomes faster as the panic increases and I glance around the room at all eyes on me. Jake bursts through the door and has me in his arms in a flash, murmuring comforting words to me, but I can't listen; won't listen._

_I glance around the room again, feeling terror creep up on me until my eyes land on Sam's. I swallow desperately past the lump in my throat and manage to get out what has me so panicked._

"_Where's Paul?" _

Silence falls over them, even Jake. I break out of his arms and move over to Sam, "Where is he, Sam?"

He clears his throat and meets my gaze carefully, "Bells?" Jake comes up behind me and tugs me around to face him, "Let's go sit on the couch, I'll explain everything in there." Everyone snaps to attention, Embry, Jared and Billy gather round the table and seat themselves whilst Sam follows Jake and me into the sitting room.

Jake and I take a seat on the couch whilst Sam stand in front of us.

I eye Jake and he just shrugs, I narrow my eyes and look to Sam, "Please Sam, tell me."

He nods and then crouches in front of me and reaches for both my hands, I let go of Jake's to let him hold them, "Bella, he decided he needs to go away for a few days, to be alone."

My brow furrows, "What? Why?" Something inside of me senses that they are not giving me the full story. I turn to Jake instead, "What's really going on, Jake?"

His jaw ticks, "Bells," he sighs and then runs a hand through his shorn hair. "Paul was phased when I was, I guess he was getting ready to fight me off if I went for you," Jake glares down at the table for a moment. I worry my lip wanting him to hurry up and finish telling me, as if sensing this he shoot me a wry smile. "Anyway, when I imprinted, he saw that, his mind was totally blank for a second and then chaos and then he shut down from us and took off running."

My heart pounds faster and faster, "I guess he was so worried about himself imprinting and hurting you that he never even considered that it could go the other way."

I clear my throat, "I have to find him," I stand and move away from both Jake and Sam and pace the room. "He's totally misunderstood, I mean, did he not see more, if he was still phased he would have seen everything. It's not like that between me and Jake, you both know that."

"Bella when I said he ran, I meant that he phased out and took off as human."

I turn to Sam and something in my expression makes me narrow my eyes at him, "What is it Sam? What do you know?"

"Bella…" Sam warns and I move towards him.

Jake sighs from beside us on the couch, "Just tell her the truth Sam."

Sam glares at him, and I glare at Sam, "Tell me the truth now, Sam."

"Fine. He's gone to Seattle. I don't know where but I know that he's in Seattle."

"I'm going."

Sam snorts, "Oh no you're not! Are you insane?! There's a psycho vamp after you and you want to leave town alone. With the possibility that she can follow you. How dare you even suggest it?!"

"How dare you try to make decisions for me, I am not part of your-"

Sam's eyes flash, "My what, Bella? My pack?!" He grinds out, "Of course you are, or are you forgetting what took place only hours ago?!"

I glare at him but quieten down as I try to think up an excuse to help in my favor. I can't believe Paul had just left, without talking to us or waiting for an explanation. Did he have so little faith in me?! If I did find him I was gonna hug him and then find something durable to beat him with for being such an idiot.

"We should let her go." I hear from behind me and my jaw drops along with Sam's, I turn to Jake.

"WHAT?!" Sam bellows and I jump at his roar of protest. Jake glares at him and stands facing him next to me.

"I said, I think we should let Bella go and find Paul."

Sam jerks his head in annoyance, "Are you fucking stupid, Black?"

Jake's eyes narrow further, "Believe me Uley, you're gonna wanna take my advice on this one."

"Do you realise what you're asking me to do? You're asking me to send your imprint out there with no protection what so ever where there is a vampire at the ready to kill her the first chance she gets. Are you really that stupid?"

"I don't appreciate you insulting me." I grasp Jake's trembling hand in my own, the tremors run through him and onto me, causing me to shake along with him.

Sam seems to snap back to reality then, "No."

The muscle in Jake's jaw ticks, "Yes."

I sigh, "I'm going, whether either of you like it or not, I'm the one who got us into this, I'm the reason he's gone, so I'm going to bring him back."

"Okay," Jake sighs and turns to me, "Be careful and call me from the road and when you get there, you should reach Seattle in four hours, so I'll be expecting your call." I nod at Jake and he pulls me to him and kisses my forehead.

"Did you both just hear what I said, Bella you _can't."_

"Sam, I'm _going."_

Jake moves past me and forward to Sam clasping his shoulder in a way that blocks them from my view, he murmurs something to Sam but it's too quiet for me to catch. When he pulls back, Sam look placated. Jake turns to me, "What should we tell Charlie?"

I watch Sam carefully but he makes no objection, "The truth, tell him I'm in Seattle with Paul but leave out the part about me finding him."

Sam clears his throat, "Tracey. Tell him you've gone to visit Tracey."

My brow furrows as Sam leads us back to the kitchen, everyone is silent, watching the scene before them and careful not to make any comments. Sam pulls a scrap of paper off an old bill and scribbles something down on it, "In fact, go visit her, she'll give you more information on where to look for him."

"But, who is Tr-"

"Are you going or not?" Sam snaps at me. Jake growls low in his throat and Sam's expression softens a little as he hands me the paper, my eyes widen when I see the address but I quickly shove it in my pocket along with the pen.

Embry stands, "Take my truck, yours doesn't stand a chance." Jake and I both glare at him, he shakes his head and hands me the keys and then kisses my forehead.

"Keep in touch." Billy adds and I kiss him on the cheek, Jared waves at me and Sam and Jake walk me out. I move over to Embry's truck and get in. Sam sticks his head through the open window and places a kiss on my cheek.

"I can't believe you're going Bella."

"I have to."

He nods and then moves back, "Make sure you call us regularly and when you find him." I nod and smile at Sam for using the word 'when' and not doubting me with words like 'if'.

Sam makes his way back inside and Jake's head appears, "You gonna be okay?"

He nods, "This is for the best." He says simply, I raise a questioning brow, but he just shakes his head and kisses my cheek softly, "Keep safe, honey, and please call as often as you can, here," he hands me some cash wadded up and tied with an elastic band.

"What, Jake?!"

Jake shrugs and makes me take it, "Just in case you need it for gas or a motel or something."

I swallow thickly and pocket the cash quickly, "Thanks Jake." He nods and then reaches both arms in to hug me, I return the embrace inhaling his comforting scent and then pull back, "Love you."

"Love you, too," I start the truck and put in in reverse and then back out of the Black's drive. I drive in silence for a few moments, heading back towards Forks where the exit onto the main highway is, as soon as I'm approaching this my cell phone starts ringing.

Curiosity almost makes me answer but the fear of an accident knocks the common sense back into me and I choose to ignore it. I sigh to myself as I push on the accelerator; _Paul, here I come._

~OE~

After a long drive I had finally made it to the main city, it was after midnight and the high street stores were closed down but the bars and restaurants were open and in full swing.

I pull into a gas station and fill up the truck, pay and buy myself a packet of skittles. It just seemed like the right thing to do in this gas station. I use their public restroom and manage to go without making contact with the toilet seat; I wasn't risking anything.

My cell phone rings again just as I make it back into the truck, I lock the doors around me and answer, "Hey Dad."

"Bells, where in bleeding hell are you?!" I wince at his yell.

"Dad please calm down, didn't Jake tell you? I'm in Seattle with Paul… we're visiting Tracey." I tag on at the end trying to make the lie sound meatier and believable.

"Mm-hmm and just where are you going to be visiting with Tracey." My dad says the name in an off-hand manner and it becomes clear to me that he knows this woman; well shit, that makes lying even harder.

"Er, yeah, we're gonna visit her at Seattle County Prison, Paul's just gone to get us something to eat. It's obviously late today so we're gonna head out there tomorrow. We're staying in a little motel."

Charlie sighs, that seems to be enough for now, but I can tell he's still suspicious. He'll no doubt call again tomorrow to see if Paul and I were in fact together.

"Stay safe Bells, I called the Chief at the station down there to let him know you are in town." I roll my eyes at this, "If you need anything just pop by the station or call them," he recites the number to me, we exchange 'I love you's' and then I hang up.

I pocket my cell and lean my head back and sigh, I had no idea where to find anything in the main city, after all this was my first time out here. I sigh again and make my way back into the gas station and ask the man behind the counter for the name of a motel where I could rent a room for a night.

~OE~

I end up staying in a tiny motel that only has ten rooms, but it's small and quaint and cheap. And the old lady behind the counter is really nice that I fork out the money reluctantly from Jake's pile, secretly glad he thought just a little ahead and gave it to me.

The room was quite small with a double bed, little bedside table, a desk and chair and then a tiny bathroom through a door over on the right side of the bed. I had nothing to change into, which was very stupid of me, I snort at myself. Did I expect to find him straight away? I should have waited a while and planned this better.

But Jake had seemed as eager as me to have me leave right away; I wonder at that briefly whilst wash my hands with the hand soap and then dry them on a towel provided by the motel.

I stare into the mirror in the bathroom and tidy myself up a little, splashing water on my face and then use the toilet and walk back into the bedroom. I sit at the edge of my bed and remove my sneakers and socks and then lie back.

Tomorrow I would drive around and find somewhere I could buy some clean clothes, I would then come back here, shower collect my stuff and visit Tracey to see if she had any idea where to find Paul. I pull out the tiny piece of paper from my pocket and stare down at the name there; Tracey Lahote.

Paul's mother.

Jake had called earlier and confirmed my suspicions that it was in fact his mother. To say I was nervous was an understatement. Every girl in the history of the world no doubt hated the 'meet the parents' stage but for me it somehow felt worse. After all, the woman was in prison, and it wasn't for baking cookies.

When I asked Jake about why she was in there he had quickly cut me off, I sigh and put the bit of paper on the bedside next to me and then move forward. Maybe he felt it was too personal to tell me and that it would be better coming from Paul.

I sigh again and pull out my skittles, opening the packet and picking out the yellow ones to throw in the trash later, why couldn't they make packets without the yellow ones in? I pop a red one in my mouth and savor the sugary flavor.

After a few seconds of chewing, curiosity gets the better of me, I pull out my cell phone and fire up the web and pop another skittle in my mouth. I close my eyes briefly feeling like a rotten person and then open them. I type _Tracey Lahote, Forks_ in the search bar and wait for the pages to load.

It finally loads and I scan the sites looking for some answers; nothing. I skip to the next page and find nothing there either. I eat some more skittles and then skip a few pages.

As I'm about to exit the search, something catches my eye.

It's a small piece from an archive at Forks' Library on local crimes. I click the link and it brings me to a page, an online article about Tracey Lahote. I read fast, my heart pounding as my brain picks out the main pieces of information…

… _She was beaten and bruised… raped… finally had enough… actions were considered revenge… did it to protect her son… shot him in the heart till the casket was empty… turned herself in…_

My chest rises and falls at an impossible pace.

Something Paul said to me a while back echoes in my mind, something about his mother being pregnant a lot, and miscarrying a lot. Was it possible that Paul's father was both violently and sexually abusive? I close my eyes, Paul mentioned his father was an alcoholic. Maybe that was a trigger to his violent behavior towards his family. Pain clenches my heart, I exit the page quickly and toss my cell onto the night stand.

As soon as I do it starts ringing, I sigh and reach for it, my thoughts racing a thousand miles per hour, "Hello?" I answer, and then clear my throat, trying to get past the lump.

"Bells, what's wrong?!"

"Nothing, I…" damn, I forgot about the imprint for just a second. Having 'the bond' stretched this far meant we were more sensitive to each other's feelings, of course Jake would be able to feel the panic and pain, "I just… I found out some stuff about Pauls' mom on an old archive on the web." Jake is silent on the other side, I hold my breath.

"Bella," he whispers and my skin prickles.

"Jake?"

"Keep safe, I love you," and then the line goes dead. I frown down at my cell and try to call him back, it rings and rings but he doesn't answer. I worry my lip and swallow thickly.

I then throw myself back against the bed and groan, damn this was becoming frustrating. I take a deep cleansing breath and then try to rearrange my thoughts. I push Tracey out of my mind for a moment and then lay on my back keeping as still as possible. I try to physically sort my thoughts; I focus on the tiny thread that tugs at my heart- my bond with Jake. The tug relaxes as I focus on it intensely, but all I can feel from it is eerie calmness. Is that how Jake was feeling now? And why did he abruptly hang up on me?

His urgency from before I left confuses me, I lay there for several minutes thinking about it.

He really wanted me gone for some reason.

I close my eyes and drown everything out so my sole focus is on our bond again. It's usually easier to grasp what he's feeling when he's reaching out too but I know this time I'm on my own. I swallow loudly and clench my eyes tighter trying desperately to _feel _him. I can't shake the feeling that something more is going on.

And then my heart speeds up, like I'm running and running but it's so weird because I know I'm not. But I can't help it, I pant as my eyes wrench open and stare at the ceiling, only I'm not looking at a ceiling.

It's dark and cold and I realise I'm watching the forest, it's moving behind me so fast because I'm running, but not from something, I'm running _after _something. I pant harsher unable to keep up with the speed but unable to stop, something else is controlling me. My body feels possessed, too fast, I'm going too fast. In my vision I see a break through the trees; it's my back yard. But that's not what has me crying out in fear. Stood there, smiling menacingly is Victoria, she smirks once and then leaps up and disappears into my open bedroom window; _Jake! _I scream mentally.

_Bella, what the fuck?! _He growls, practically in my ear.

And then it's gone. I gasp for breath bringing both my hands up and rub at my chest. Blank spots coat my vision as I realise that for the first time ever… I just tapped into the pack mind.

The realisation brings on another, a more terrifying one, he let me leave deliberately because on some level he knew that she was going to attack. I swallow, trying to calm my breathing and then give up. I whimper helplessly as tears flow from my eyes. I sob and almost choke, rolling clumsily onto my side I misjudge the space and fall onto the ground. My head makes unfriendly contact with the bedside and then; I am enveloped in darkness.

~OE~

When I return to consciousness my head feels fuzzy, like it's bathed in cotton wool. From behind my closed eyelids I can tell it is early morning, I feel wrapped in warmth. For a beat my heart rate races thinking I am in the arms of one of my wolves. My eyes snap open but I quickly close them against the harsh light; disappointment courses through me, I am alone.

Something prickles against my scalp, the feeling of being watched. With determination, I open my eyes blinking rapidly and scowling at the open blinds. _Wait… open?_ My heart stops for a moment, _I didn't open the blinds… _flashes of last night run through my mind, the phone call, running vicariously through the pack mind, falling, bumping my head.

I tentatively reach up and brush my head with the fingertips of my right hand, I graze the bump and flinch at the pain.

"It's just a bump and a bruise," a deep voice drawls from behind me, shocking the life out me.

I abruptly sit up and turn, and then my jaw drops. I steady myself with my hands and gaze at him.

_Paul._

My heart gives a delicious squeeze. He's sat there on the desk chair, dark eyes appraising me slowly. He's wearing a black tee shirt, dark jeans and black boots; he looks… hot. I blush and he narrows his eyes at me.

I sit up straighter pull the duvet tighter around me, he looks mad at me. I clear my throat, "I was supposed to be finding you."

He snorts, "And instead, I found you. You ready to go home?" He asks and stands suddenly.

"No." he pauses in the middle of picking up the discarded skittles on the floor, surprise in his expression.

"What?"

"I said 'no', I am not ready to go home."

He scowls, "Don't you wanna go home to _your Jake_?" I don't miss the sneer of distaste in the way he says Jake's name, I narrow my eyes at him but he ignores me. "Or is there something else you'd rather do? You know, like shopping or touring or oh, I don't know; stalk my mother?!"

I gasp, my eyes flash to his, in his hand he's holding the piece of paper that has his mother's 'address' on it. His expression is angry but he also looks a little ashamed. My glare softens a little but I press on, "For your information, Sam gave me that, it was a starting point on where to find you!"

"Why are you even looking for me?!"

I stare disbelieving at him and go to retort when my cell starts ringing. I lean over and pick it up glancing at the caller ID; Jake, "It's Jake."

Paul looks even madder than before and goes to stalk out of the door. I jump up, my legs tangled in the sheets and squeak as I almost fall down again and then throw myself forward off the bed. I land on my feet and lunge forward holding onto Paul's hand and pressing answer simultaneously.

He goes to tug his hand out of mine but I move forward effectively bringing my body flush with his, he freezes in surprise and I glare up at him, "Hello," I mutter, slightly out of breath from my rush to get to Paul.

"Bells," Jake's soothing voice caresses my name through the phone line.

I close my eyes, "Are you leaving for home yet?"

I go to answer him when Paul cuts me off, bowing his body away from mine and snatching his hand back, "Yes, we're leaving in five minutes," he says tersely.

Jake sighs, "Bells? What is his problem?" I gaze at Paul sadly and then shrug.

"We're not coming home yet. We're staying and we're talking."

Paul's eyes snap to mine and he shakes his head. I nod mine back at him and then turn to look out of the window, "I'll talk to you later Jake, okay?"

He sighs, "About last night… are you okay?"

I clench my eyes shut, "I'm okay, if not a little freaked out. I'm guessing you discussed this with the elders."

"Yeah, they didn't have much to say, they pretty much called our whole situation 'an enigma', their way of saying 'fucked up', I guess and then dismissed us."

I frown at this, "You didn't catch her, did you?" I say quietly.

He pauses on the other side and then lets out a breath, "No, no we didn't. After what happened with you, we were quite distracted."

"I'm sorry Jake," I say feeling remorseful and guilty.

He snorts, "Not your fault honey, we were just surprised is all. You take care anyway, I'll see you when you get back."

I nod even though he can't see me and mumble goodbye, I still feel responsible for letting Victoria give them the slip. I close my cell and throw it back on the bed and then stare out the window.

Paul clears his throat behind me, I turn to face him, my eyes moving between both of his. "How did you know where I was?"

He shrugs, "How did you tap into the pack mind?"

I shrug back at him and he sends me a displeased look. Well tough, if he wasn't gonna give me answers, I wasn't gonna give him any. I move to sit on the bed and he takes a seat on the desk chair once more, facing me.

Paul looks me straight in the eye, "Before you did tap into the shared mind, I had this feeling, that something was wrong. I tried to ignore it but it wouldn't leave me alone so I phased in. The guys were chasing Victoria and then suddenly you were there, and then you weren't. Jake panicked, it threw us all off. I managed to get a glimpse of where you were staying and I found you, passed out on the floor."

He narrows his eyes at me, "Your turn."

I slump a little, "I just focused all my attention on the imprint bond." Paul's jaw ticks but I try to ignore it, "I couldn't tell what he was feeling, and it was just weird. And then something clicked and I thought I was hallucinating. Only I wasn't, I was in the pack mind."

Paul rubs his full bottom lip, "No other imprint has ever done that before," he says quietly. I stare at him, trying to figure out what he's feeling, he's giving nothing away.

"Paul?"

"Hmm?"

"Can we not talk about the imprint anymore, I want to talk about us."

He snorts, "I don't want to talk about us, Bella." He glances up at me, swallowing thickly, his adams apple bobbing, "There's nothing to talk about."

I roll my eyes to the ceiling and stare at it helplessly. "Of course we need to talk Paul! I- I need you to understand something." I meet his gaze with my own steely ones, "The imprint between Jake and I is nothing like the other imprints. We are not in love, Paul. I don't feel about him the way I feel about you!"

"It doesn't matter what you feel for me! I don't buy the 'different' shit! I'm not about to disrespect my brother, he was in love with you, for fucks sake!"

I laugh disbelievingly, "That didn't stop you before! What basis were you seeing me off when he wasn't phased? We are still the same people Paul!"

He stands and runs his face through his hair, "It is different now! I can't be with you! That would just be… it would be…" he fists his hands in his hair again, "… it would be wrong!"

I clench my jaw shut, feeling tears burning, I try desperately to will them away. I swallow loudly. I can feel him slipping away from me. I stand myself and move over to him, just as I reach him, he steps back.

"Nothing's changed." I say quietly, firmly.

He regards me carefully, his expression guarded, though I'm sure this is to protect himself more than me. Internally I snort, as if I could ever hurt him intentionally.

"But what if it does change, in the future."

I frown, "I don't think I'll ever feel this way about anyone, ever again." My confession is heartfelt. The raw emotion evident in my husky voice.

He's silent for a few moments, taking in what I have to say. And then he relaxes, I can see his walls crumbling, "Feel what?" he mouths at me.

"Paul…" I whisper and meets his eyes, trying to tell him what I feel, "… don't make me say it."

"Say what?" He whispers back.

_Do it Bella, _the voice inside my mind screams at me.

I clench my eyes shut, sending more tears falling and open them more confidently. I walk towards him and he takes another step back, and then sits back in the desk chair. I reach him silently, my bare feet leading me closer to him.

Never taking my eyes off of him, I stand between his parted legs. I reach both hands up and cup his face. His eyelids flutter for a moment but then they snap open, regarding me intently.

I lean down slowly making it clear what I'm about to do and then brush my lips against his. Tension sizzles between us and he groans quietly at the contact. I pull back, my eyes dodge from one of his to the other.

"Paul?" I whisper.

"Yeah?" he answers, his voice husky, it makes my heart stutter and then beat more steadily. His hands come up and grasp my waist, holding me closer, he tips his head towards me, prompting me, his expression fearful yet waiting. I smile and then kiss him quickly again. I pull back and beam at him.

"Paul?"

This time, he smiles back at me, "Yeah?" His full lips quirk a little more and in that moment I drop my walls and seize the day.

"I'm in love with you."

**Review if you like :)**


	26. Situations

**A/N: Thank you for the usual**

**Mistakes are mine, not Beta'd.**

**Enjoy :) **

_22__nd__ Jan_

_Previously…_

"_Paul?"_

_This time, he smiles back at me, "Yeah?" His full lips quirk a little more and in that moment I drop my walls and seize the day._

"_I'm in love with you."_

His smile drops, leaving him slack-jawed and he blinks at me, once, twice.

My eyes flicker between his, my momentary confidence wavering. I swallow thickly, "You do?" he whispers breathlessly. Internally I roll my eyes, he was so easy to love. Of course I did.

I nod firmly and a breath taking smile lights up his beautiful face. He releases me and stands from the chair so he's staring down at me, not touching me in any way.

"Paul, I-" I squeal loudly as he hoists me up in his arms, my legs wrap around his waist and my arms rest on his shoulder, I link my hands behind his neck.

"Say it again," he asks desperately, the light in his eyes shining wildly as he implores me.

"I'm in love with you." His eyes darken, my breaths quicken and then; his mouth is on mine. Hot and hard he kisses me, one hand holding my hip and the other tangled in my hair.

I mould my mouth to his, sucking his bottom lip gently before opening my mouth and letting my tongue dance with his. His kiss is all consuming and desperate and I can feel nothing but him everywhere. He overrides all my senses. One of my hands continue fisting in the hairs at the nape of his neck whilst the other moves down to hold his cheek.

We break apart breathless and then he dips down to kiss the juncture of my neck, trailing kisses to my pulse, he sucks the skin there and I let out a moan and close my eyes. I tug his hair, once again bringing his mouth to mine and then we're moving.

He lowers me onto the bed, so he's hovering over me and gazing down at me. "Love you," I mouth to him and he growls deep in his throat and attacks my neck again, my eyes roll back in pleasure as he nips at my collar bone. His nose skims my jaw line and then he kisses me once more. This time it's slower, just soft touches of his lips to mine, I reach up and grasp his shoulders and bring him down, deepening the kiss once again.

Paul is holding his upper half up, resting on his forearms either side of my head, his lower half however is pinning me to the bed, his arousal evident against my belly. As my tongue explores his mouth, I flex my hips to his and he breaks away, dropping his head to my shoulder and lets out a guttural groan. I pant turning my head to the side and kiss his temple next to me. "You okay?" I ask, still trying to catch my breath.

"Hmm," he murmurs against the skin of my neck. It sends tiny vibrations all over my skin, I squirm beneath him and he lifts his head, pinning me with a smouldering gaze, "I wouldn't do that if I were you."

I flush crimson and he gives me a cocky smirk.

"Mmhmm," he breathes and then dips to kiss my nose, I close my eyes and swallow, finally able to get a grip on my breathing.

"There's only you Paul," I whisper, opening my eyes and gazing at him.

His jaw clenches at my words and he lets out a harsh breath through his nose. I blink. His mood changed from happy to withdrawn within seconds.

Paul pulls away from me sitting on his knees and resting back on his feet. He looks confused for a moment, I study him. His gaze flickers to mine, I shoot him a reassuring smile but he turns from me, sitting on the edge of the bed so his back is to me. I frown at his back and then sigh.

"You still feel like this is wrong don't you?" I ask quietly.

He clears his throat, "I… I don't know."

I rub my forehead and get off the bed, making my way around so I'm stood in front of him.

"Hey," I say softly and then reach up to tilt his head so I can see his eyes, "Tell me how you feel Paul. I just bared it all to you, it's your turn."

He looks scared, so scared, I edge forward and lean against him, wrapping my arms around his shoulders. He lets out another breath and rests his forehead against my right shoulder. He then groans and tips his head back, staring me straight in the eyes.

"I still feel drawn to you, Little Red," hope blooms in my chest but I put stop on it, not wanting to give myself away; I needed to hear what he had to say.

"I think maybe I'm overthinking everything. The whole Jake being in love with you thing and now that he's in the pack. For a moment when he imprinted…" he trails off but I don't push him. "… I thought that was it, we were done, for good. And I never even got to tell you…" He gazes up at me and I nod encouragingly.

He swallows thickly, "I thought it would be the worst thing, hearing him talk about you in his mind and think about you, you guys so in love. It was the biggest shock of my life when I phased in yesterday and found out that it wasn't like that between you."

I smile softly at him and run one hand through his hair, he closes his eyes and breathes deeply through his nose. "I was so scared, babe. I wanted to believe it so bad, I'm still scared. You could just turn on your love for him and leave me. So many people have already Bella."

He gazes up at me, the muscle in his jaw ticks, "You mean so much more. You've accepted me the way I am, you… love me. If you left, I don't know what I'd do."

Before I can stop them, silent tears run down my cheeks. I cup his face and kiss him softly, the salty taste of my tears on our lips. "Paul, I love you." I sniffle and kiss him once more and then pull back. His jaw ticks again, as he brings up his hand and wipes away my tears.

Paul helps me onto the bed and lifts the cover. We end up both on our sides facing each other. He runs his hand through my hair and sown my spine. I snuggle deeper into the bed and hug my pillow tighter.

We lie there for a moment, staring into each other's eyes, revelling in just being together.

"So you phased in last night."

He lifts a strand of my hair and watches it fall back into place and then lifts it again, "Hmm," and then he gazes at me. "I lied about me catching a glimpse of where you were staying. On some level, I just knew."

I raise a brow at him, "Jake ordered me to find you and that caught my attention. He already has so much power in the pack. It felt different."

"Different how?"

He shrugs, which looks awkward from the position he's lying in. "My wolf feels immensely more comfortable with Jake and taking orders from him. That's why it was so easy."

"But Sam's alpha, surely you feel the same way with him?"

"No… I somehow feel that Sam disapproves of me. When he orders me to do things, my wolf always hesitates. I have to force my wolf to obey him, to keep the peace. When Jake ordered me to find you, I didn't even think about it twice. I just followed the order. My wolf felt so comfortable. Like things were how they were supposed to be." He shrugs again.

I try to digest the information he's telling me; wow, so much had changed. So Paul felt more comfortable taking 'orders' from Jake, and there was tension between him and Sam. Why hadn't I picked up on this before?

He smirks and then trace her lips with his index finger, "My wolf loves you, you know," _only your wolf?_

"He does, does he?"

"Mmhmm, he really does. When you were in the pack mind he was so proud of you. No imprint has ever done that before. And then you were just cut out and we were so scared and frantic. Jake had control of everything. I really respect him for that."

I smile and lean up and kiss his nose, "Well I'm happy, both my boys are finally getting along."

He rolls his eyes, but an amused smiles makes his beautiful lips quirk.

"What do you feel?"

His smile drops, "I-… I can't say it babe," he whispers. The look he's giving, the sheer longing in his expression makes it all okay. I understand his vulnerability. He just said it himself that most people in his life leave him. That kind of uncertainty was sure to damage a person over so many years.

I nod and lean up to kiss him, he goes to deepen it but I pull away. I still needed to talk about some things before we could return home. I sigh and roll over onto my back.

"So what do we do now, Paul?" I turn and glance back at him. He's worrying his lip, something that I have never seen him do before. I reach forward and press my finger against his bottom lip, releasing it from his teeth. He grins at me and nips at my finger before I drop it.

He sigh, "I don't think I want us to be together yet, babe. I just wanna go back and-"

"You wanna make sure for real that there's nothing between me and Jake?"

Paul looks caught out, I huff and go to make my way up. He grabs my arm, pulling in a way so I end up facing him on my side again.

He swallows thickly, my eyes jump between both of his. I raise and expectant brow at him, "I- yes, okay yes that's what I want. But, babe I trust you. It's just for my peace of mind." I tilt my head. Did he really trust me?

"Besides, there's something I think we should do together before we make any decisions about us." A warm blush coats my cheeks and he grins at me, "Not what I had in mind, but I like the way you think babe."

I snort to cover up my embarrassment and sit up, grabbing the pillow I was lying on I try to throw it at him. He, of course, dodges it easily, chuckling at my expense the entire time.

He finally stops, I stand at the edge of the bed pouting at him, he smiles and winks and then gets up himself.

In his hand, I notice the piece of paper that Sam gave me. My eyes flicker up to his, for a moment he looks so young and vulnerable, I hold my breath, waiting for him to speak.

"Whenever I'm in Seattle, I always make time to visit her, would you like to come with me?"

I swallow thickly and nod my head firmly. I feel so… so… overwhelmed at the thought that he would let me into something as personal as this. It was so obvious his mom was his world and that he loved her deeply.

He nods too and then he turns away from me. He bends for a moment and picks up a bag. "I bought these for you when I went out this morning. Jake called and said you didn't really have anything with you."

Paul hand me the bag, inside are some black fitted jeans and a purple sweater, "Thanks," I say softly with a smile.

"Oh babe, there's also some clean-"

I pull the clothes out of the bag to reveal a simple black bra and panty set, I flush crimson and Paul glances up at me, poorly hidden humour swimming in his dark eyes, he shrugs. "I figured you'd need a shower."

I nod dumbly, shove everything back into the bag and hurry into the bathroom, slamming and locking the door behind me.

_Oh my gosh!_

The first time I ever receive underwear from a man, and it's to remind me that I needed a shower because I was dirty from travelling and infiltrating the pack mind and being concussed; may I repeat.

_Oh my- fucking- gosh! _

~OE~

We pull up at the old prison building around midday. Paul had taken me to a nearby diner for breakfast and we had called Jake, my dad and Sam, letting each of them know we would definitely be home today.

I glance briefly at Paul, he's been silent for most of the drive. Working the wheel with one hand whilst the other holds mine between us on the bench.

He takes a deep breath and turns to me, a fake smile making his whole demeanour look awkward. I drop his hand and crawl over on my knees so I'm almost in his lap and then hug him.

"I don't have to come in with you if you don't want me too," I say trying to give him a 'way out'.

Paul shakes his head and clears his throat, removing the false smile from his beautiful face, "I want you to meet her, babe. I've told her so much about you. Hell, I think she wants this more than anyone."

I raise a brow at him and _wow, do I detect a hint of a blush?!_

"You've told her about me?"

He rolls his eyes like it's no big deal, I am however extremely touched. Paul shrugs, "We write to each other, I may have mentioned you somewhere."

"Somewhere?"

"Okay fine. I… was nervous about how I felt for you. I ended up telling her about you. You're the only girl I've mentioned. Ever. This is going to be… different for us."

I sigh and kiss him on the nose, "We're gonna be fine Paul." He nods in agreement and then opens his door.

"Well, here we go."

I roll my eyes at him and open the passenger door, hopping down from the cab with grace I didn't know I possessed, I slam the door shut and meet him around the front of the truck.

He looks apprehensive, and if I'm not mistaken even a little scared. I take his hand in mine, shoot him a brave smile and then pull him towards the tall building.

It must be at least ten storey's high. 'Seattle Count Prison', in big, bold, metal lettering on top of the iron gates. Behind this building I can see several more. The gates part as we make our way through and then close behind us. Paul nods at various security guards along the way, some of them gaze a beat too long at me. I Squeeze Paul's hand, thankful that we were making this trip together.

Paul and I take the steps up to the main doors of the building. A man, in full police wear and a snowy white moustache exits and then holds the door open, I go to pass through when his arm on my arms stops me. Behind me, I feel Paul freeze. I furrow my brow and glance up at him, recognition settles deep within his eyes but I still have no idea who he is.

"Isabella Swan," I duck my head and blush.

"Yes?"

A genuine smile appears on his weathered face, "How do you do? My name is Barry Smith, I've worked with your father from time to time."

"Oh, nice to meet you," I take his outstretched hand and shake it and then smile as he lets us through.

The heavy door creaks shut behind us as we make our way over to the receptionist's desk.

A tall slender African American woman eyes us warily, she pops gum whilst staring us down from beneath her glasses and says, "Can I help you?"

Paul clears my throat, "I want to request visitation with Ms Tracey Lahote."

"What relation?" She asks, tapping away at her computer furiously.

"I'm her son."

"Mmhmm," she says and then raises a perfectly shaped brow at me, "I-I'm a friend of the family."

She nods and taps some more and then smiles up at us, "Great, okay Tracey is one of our best behaved so there shouldn't be a problem in visiting with her, I'm gonna ask you to go through there and you'll have to remove your jackets and you'll be asked to sign in."

"Thank you," we say in unison and then make our way through the main doors when she buzzes us in. The officer on the other side takes my jacket and keys and then pats me down to make sure I have no harmful objects on me. Another officer does the same to Paul, we share a look and he smiles ruefully at me.

"You okay?" I mouth at him and he nods. I smile as the officers as us to sign in, we both sign the sheet and then we are escorted through some more door.

A female officer greets us, "Right this was please." She leads us down a corridor and through some more doors. Then she comes up to another door. She grins at us which neither of us return. She then takes an electronic card-key from her pocket and buzzes us through.

My nerves are scattered, I can't seem to focus on one single thought. There are so many things I want to know before we go in there, like the full story of how his mom ended up in a place like this. It's too late now, I'm about to meet the woman.

I inhale a deep breath and let it down slowly. Paul glances down at me amusedly but it doesn't cover the fear I see lurking in his eyes. I give him what I hope is a reassuring smile as we press forward.

We come up to another set of double doors, "Your visitation period will last a half hour promptly, and officer will be back to escort you out in said time."

Paul nods and then she motions for us to go through, "Go ahead, she's waiting."

Holy crap, I was really about to do this, Paul squeezes my hand once more and then takes the lead, pushing open the double doors and guiding me through.

The room is large and airy, several groups and couples are scattered, seated on benched tables chatting animatedly. Children squeal and giggle, all this however fades as the thumping of my heart resonates in my ears. I close my eyes and breathe deeply.

"Hey," Paul croons, his lips at my temple. "You okay?" I nod, "You sure you wanna do this?"

I pull back and gaze up at him, "You sure you want me here?"

He nods, "Of course," and then kisses my forehead.

"Then let's do this."

He smiles at me, simple and shy, yet he has never looked more beautiful.

Paul leads me over to a table right at the back, I glance up and then flush beet-red. A woman is seated alone at this table, watching us carefully as we make our way over to us. Her caramel coloured skin gives her straight away; Tracey Lahote.

Her raven black hair is cut shoulder length and is pin straight, and falls delicately from her middle parting, framing her slender face. As we near, I can see the resemblance in Paul, they share the same dark eyes, and the same straight nose. Her lips are different, so thin they are barely noticeable, but she is still beautiful.

We reach the table and she stands, she's slim yet curvy and about an inch shorter than me. She looks harmless, how she had yielded a gun I had no idea, the image has deserted me.

"Mom," Paul says, his voice tight with emotion, he leans down and pulls her into a hug. He lowers his face to her shoulder burying it there, it was so tender to watch. I look away for a moment, giving them a chance to reconcile.

"Paulie," I hear her whisper.

"Mom," he says again, but this time drags it out in a whine. I can't help it, a smile plays on my lips at her nickname for her son. They pull back and Paul steps up next to me, "Mom, this is Bella Swan."

She appraises me with a stern look, I swallow, afraid and unsure of how to greet her. Paul nudges me forward and I fall only to be stopped; held in the arms of a woman I had never met before.

Tracey keeps our hug brief and then pulls back grasping both my shoulders and looking me up and down, "Yes of course you are. The chief's daughter, I would have guessed even if Paulie hadn't mentioned it. There's something about you sugar, that just screams 'Charlie Swan'.

I blush, unsure of whether to take this as a compliment or not, "Well?" she looks at me expectantly, "Do you speak?"

"O-oh!" I stutter, blushing furiously, "N-nice to m-meet you, Mrs Lahote."

She snorts and drops my shoulder, stepping away from me and sitting back down, "Don't call me that."

I go to apologise when she holds up a hand to me. I swallow thickly as tears threaten to spill. Paul is at my side at once, I glance up at him through watery eyes, "Maybe I should wait in the car."

His jaw ticks and he shakes his head, "No, we'll be fine. Come on, don't give up yet." I sigh, noticing the pleading look in his eyes and then make my way over to sit across from Tracey. Paul sits next to me.

She eyes me sceptically, glancing between both Paul and me. She huffs, "I'm sorry about that sugar, I just don't like to be called by that name."

"It's okay, I u-undertsand."

"Do you?" she is quick to counter, raising a brow at me. I blush, feeling like some reason I was invading her privacy.

We sit in silence for a moment, "Come on mom, I bought Bella here today because, well, I don't know why. I guess I wanted to you to meet her."

She sighs and stares at her son, "Honey I don't think these kind of things are supposed to happen this way. Not that I'm not happy to see _you, _it's just I always imagined meeting your girlfriend at our house, or a restaurant or hell, anywhere that isn't here."

I fidget uncomfortably, obviously this was an extremely stupid idea. I try to think of something to say to her or ask her, but my mind goes blank, she stares at me and I shift uneasily, I can tell she's reading me.

Finally she clears her throat, "I don't mean to make you feel unwanted sugar, but can I have a moment with my son?"

I swallow, feeling the tears near and nod, rising clumsily I am stopped by Pauls hand, "Babe, it's okay, just-"

I shake my head, "It really was nice to meet you, Tracey." She nods and I pull my hand free and walk towards the doors, the officer standing there lets me out. I can't help it. Hot, angry tears fall down my cheeks. What were we thinking? This had to be the upmost stupidest idea ever. I swipe at my cheeks angrily and take many calming breathes.

What had I even hoped to get out of meeting her? I was so happy that Paul wanted me to be a part of this life that I had forgotten the basics. The woman didn't know me for Christ's sakes, she didn't want a freaking stranger intruding on her time with her son!

On some level she probably felt embarrassed, this was no place to have 'first meetings'.

I close my eyes in shame as the receptionist signs me out. I… I couldn't even begin to process the feelings, I just needed to go home and sleep. I exit the building and make my way to Embry's truck. I get in and lock the doors around me and then break down sobbing.

~OE~

A sharp rap on the window make me jump; it's Paul. I release the locks and he gets into the driver's side, "Are you o-"

"I just want to go home Paul. Take me home."

He lets out a deep breath and then starts the truck, we exit the parking lot and make our way onto the main highway in silence. Silent tears make treks down my cheeks as I think about everything that had gone down. I was so emotionally exhausted.

I needed to get a grip on everything. Of course what had happened wasn't entirely Pauls fault, we hadn't thought of the consequences when making the plan to visit his mother. All the reasons before echo in my mind; that was the worse idea in the history of 'worst idea's'.

I was right to think that she had been embarrassed. She'd said herself that prison wasn't the place for 'those' kinds of meetings. I sigh heavily as rain starts to drizzle.

The cars pass us steadily as I gaze unseeingly through the passenger window, leaning my head on the glass. I begin to wonder if things between Paul and I would ever be good again. I'd confessed my feeling to him and still it seemed we were at odds with each other. He couldn't trust my feelings for Jake and when I really think about it; he hadn't given me a decent reason to visit with his mother, he had just pulled me along.

More tears make their way down my cheeks, either we were gonna go one way, or the other. I didn't know if it was because I'd been away from the reassurance of my family and friends for way too long, or maybe it was just PMS, but one thing was for sure…

I had no idea if things between us were ever going to be okay.

**A/N: Review if you like :)**

**And check out my new story, it's called 'Fight for Your Heart' and is All Human, something different that I've decide to try. **


	27. Connecting

**A/N: Thanks you for the usual, I'm feeling a little weird so I'm gonna go ahead and award you guys with a *wink***

**Mistakes are mine, not Beta'd.**

**P.s. can I just say that; I love Leah!**

**Enjoy :)**

_23__rd__ Jan_

We pull up to Jake's house just after five pm.

The tension in the car had almost drove me insane, I was so ready to jump from this cab and high-tail it home to hide… forever.

Beside me, Paul sighs, "Listen Bella, what happened today-"

"- was incredibly stupid of us. It was a stupid idea, one that I would like to hopefully forget." I cut him off. He blinks and then drops his eyes. He looks so sad, but I'm too confused with everything I am feeling to try and comfort him.

Paul glances up at me again, fixing me with a longing stare, "Everything was going so well babe, and I want us to be like that again."

I sigh and go to retort when the front door of the house bursts open. My heart rate stutters and realigns and before I can open the door, it is wrenched open and I am enveloped in warm arms. I breathe in Jake's familiar scent and melt against him. I close my eyes and swallow thickly as tears start to fall once more. Behind me I hear the slam of Paul's door as he joins us.

"Bells…" Jake breathes against my hairline. I sob out his name. He pulls me back by my shoulders and gazes down at me, "What's wrong honey?"

I shake my head and fall against his chest, clutching his waist. He hugs me harder and then breaks away. We turn to where Paul is silently watching us, "Thanks for bringing her back, man."

Paul nods and takes Jake's outstretched hand in his own in a hand shake. Jake pulls his hand away and then it snaps forward with a loud crack as he slams it into Paul's face. I gasp and shriek, "Jake!"

"That's for making her cry." I go to move forward when Jake swings again, I scream but Jake just keeps his gaze locked on Paul's. They stare each other down, "And that, was for running away in the first place."

I sob loudly and glare at Jake but he just shrugs, "I need to have a little talk with Paul, Bella. Head inside." I narrow my eyes at him but he gives me his no-nonsense stare. I shoot Paul a look that I hope says 'I'm sorry' and he shakes his head.

Turning around, I go to make my way into the house when Jake's voice stops me. "Oh and by the way honey? Leah's waiting."

My eyes widen at the mention of my big sister and then close in defeat! Ugh! I groan and make my way inside, hoping that I was strong enough to survive her wrath.

~OE~

I walk into the kitchen to find her still in her work clothes – a pencil skirt and blouse – standing there, glaring at me with her hands on her hips. Billy is sat silently behind her in his chair, I smile softly at him which he returns and then focus my attention on Leah once again.

"Isabella Marie Swan!" she shrieks and for a moment I cringe, until I realise something and frown at her.

"How do you know my middle name?"

She looks taken aback for a moment and starts stuttering, "Well, I- uh- I called your dad and asked him." I raise a brow at her and she looks guilty for a moment but then regains her composure, "Oh no you don't missy! You and me on the deck now! We're gonna have a little chat!" And with that she marches out of the screen door in the kitchen and onto the wrap around porch.

I sigh, knowing that if I didn't get out there soon there would be fireworks, and not the pretty kind.

"Bella?" Billy says and I turn to face him and then go over and hug him lightly. "Charlie's coming down after his shift. I figured we could all just eat here. I ordered take out." I nod and then gesture behind me.

"I'm gonna go talk to her."

Billy nods and then glances at me, an amused look in his eyes, "Sure thing sweetie, oh and, good luck."

He chuckles at my scowl and waves me off with his hand.

I step out onto the porch and find Leah leaning forward against the safety railing, her elbows are resting on it. She turns to face me, "Since when did you decide to leave town and not let me know?" I shrug and she glares at me, "Jeez kid, I know I haven't been around much lately, I've been working and you know that. But for god's sake! You should have let me know."

My brow furrows as I try to figure out why she was… mad? No, that wasn't the best way to describe how she was acting. I shrug, "It wasn't that big of a deal, I was with Paul the whole time."

She gapes at me, "So you go away. With him. Alone. Lose your virginity and I'm just hearing about this now!? What the fuck!?"

I flush crimson, "Gah! Leah we didn't do… that."

This time she frowns, "You didn't?"

I shake my head, "No."

She pauses for a moment and then in a lightening movement slaps my arm, "Ouch!" I glare at her, "What was that for?!"

Leah raises a brow, "Let me repeat myself, you go away. With him. Alone. And you _don't sleep with him! W__hat the hell _happened?!"

I return her glare, "Leah I'm very well aware of the fact that you and Paul have fucked!" Her jaw drops at my vocab choice, to be honest, I'm a little surprised myself. "But I don't need you to keep shoving it in my face every chance you get!"

She blanches, clearly shocked by my outburst and then she sighs, "I- I'm sorry if you felt like I was doing that, I wasn't trying to. It's just that that is a memorable time for me." She looks sad and I instantly think of Sam and the reason _wh__y _it happened.

I clear my throat, "Is it because it brings back memories of the partying and… Sam?"

Leah looks up at me and I can tell she is fighting a grin, "No… it's because it was _sooo _damn good!" She full out grins at me.

"Leah…" I say in warning and she holds her hands up in defeat.

"Okay fine, fine. That was the last time. Sheesh! You really need to get laid. Particularly by Paul."

"Lee!" I yell, fully aware that he might be able to hear us.

"No Swan, I promise! _That _was the last time!"

We're quiet for a moment and I join her staring out into the forest and resting my elbows on the railing, "So what did you do if you weren't sexing?"

I huff and she grins, "We talked. A lot. He's finding it weird, you know me and Jake being close and all"

Leah gasps, "I know right! Jake has been in Bella-extreme mode since I got here. Embry had to bring over his X-box to distract him."

"Embry was here? I didn't see him."

She nods, "Yeah, and that was weird too. Sam and Jared came over and said something and then all three of them just ripped off their shirts and ran into the forest! I mean, fuck! I know we're Native and that they're down with the elder's but I didn't know they were down for lighting fires and dancing around them in the middle of the forest!"

I can't help it. A laugh escapes me and soon Leah and I are in a mode of full-fledged giggles. I catch my breath and sigh, if the guys were out there then possibly there was a threat. I should take Leah back inside. "What else did you guys do?"

"We went to visit Tracey."

Her head snaps around so fast it makes me jump, "You what?!" I go to answer her when she holds up and hand to me. She seems to be mumbling to herself and then she gazes at me, "How did that go?"

I bite my lip, "Not well"

She sighs, "And let me guess, now you're all moody with Paul and you guys aren't talking and shit?"

I raise a brow at her, seriously, it's like she was there. I nod.

"Sweetheart, listen to your big sister Lee. You have not had a lot of relationships. The ones that you have had, quite frankly have just been abnormal." I glare at her but she continues anyway, "With Paul, you need to grab hold of him and never let go"

She takes my shoulders in her hands and gazes at me, "'Cause sweetie, even I can see how _good _you are together. So don't let little mistakes break you. Yes you obviously still have a _lot _to learn. Like when you should just jump someone's bones already, but I'm confident that you'll get there… eventually."

Leah gives me an encouraging smile, "Not what do you say we go in there and feast on the greasy goodness of take-out pizza?" I return her grin.

"Sounds like a plan."

~OE~

After eating pizza and Leah's failed attempt to kick Paul in the balls, she decided to go home. We hugged and she winked at me as she left, promising me that she'd be around to hang out sometime during the week.

Charlie was here too, he and Billy were watching re-runs of a match in the living room which left Paul, Jake and I in the kitchen.

Jake clears his throat, "So, uh, obviously you guys still have issues and shit. But you can talk about that later. We need to discuss what happened the other night."

I nod, "Bells, you wanna tell me how exactly you got into the pack mind?"

I frown, "Shouldn't Sam be here for that?"

"He's just dealing with-"

The screen door snaps open, "Bella!" I turn in shock and Quil saunters forward, bare chested and smiling brightly.

"Quil?"

Sam follows him inside, I immediately catch his eyes and he rolls his at me.

"Yep! That's right Bella, I'll be around more often now." He winks and sits heavily next to Paul who grunts and shoots him a dirty look.

"Sam?" He sits on Jake's other side in between him and Quil.

"Well?"

I shrug, "I guess I was focusing on the bond, we've barely been imprinted long but I knew that if I exercised it I could feel him. I was so worried when you ended our call just like that. I just relaxed and tried to reach you and then suddenly I was there."

They're all silent for a moment, "Yeah we figured as much." Sam says with a sigh. He rubs his forefinger along his upper lip and then drops his hand to the table, "Bella would you mind if we tried something like that here again?"

"But you guys are all in human form, do you think it will work?"

He shrugs, "We can only try."

I swallow and Jake's hand finds mine on my lap, he squeezes my hand. I take in a deep breath, "Okay."

Closing my eyes I relax.

Slowly but surely I feel all my thoughts slipping away, my lips part slightly and then I can feel it. Something bigger than me that I'm about to connect to-

Quil sniggers, my eyes snap open to find everyone glaring at him, "What? Her face expression was really funny!"

Sam raises a brow at him, "If you don't shut up right now, you can go and sit on the porch until we are done."

I huff and he sits back, "Fine I'll be quiet."

Sam nods and then turns back to me.

I sigh and then try again. Tentatively I reach out to the bond, I feel my chest relax and my thoughts evade me until I'm at peace.

_Jake?_

Across from me I hear a gasp, Quil just didn't learn.

_Hmm? _He answers me. I smile.

_Love you._

_Love you too, honey._

_Embry: Whoa is that Bella? Again?_

_Bella: Em?_

_Embry: Yeah it's me!_

_Jared: And me!_

_Sam: Well done Bella, you have connected us all._

_Jared: Wait. I see Jake's kitchen, how the fuck are you all phased in there?_

_Sam: We're human. And watch your language, it's not just us guys anymore._

_Jared: Crap! So we can't think about-_

A vision of a girl, Kim, in the throes of passion enters my mind. I mentally scream and open my eyes breaking the connection, "Ew!"

The guys around the table are staring at me in awe and then they bust up laughing. "I can't believe you did it again Bella! Well done!"

I smile, still trying to get the disturbing image from my mind. "So, now that we know we can do that are you gonna explain how?"

Jake pipes up, "We don't know anything for sure and the elders are keeping quiet. No offense Quil but your grandpa's a bastard. He won't give us much information on this and he's keeping the others on lockdown too. They just won't talk. Except my Dad of course."

I nod and glance down at the table, "I guess I just feel like this is kind of important."

"How do you mean, Bella?"

"I feel like there's something here that we have, a connection. It feels so powerful, it _is_ so powerful I mean, you said no imprint has ever done that before. I feel like we're gonna need that in the future."

Sam nods, "Until the elders tell us more we can keep practicing if you like? Maybe if we do I can work for others, like instead of you seeking us out, we may be able to seek you out."

"Yeah, like I said. I don't know how, but I think this is gonna work in our favour."

Sam smiles at me and the stands, "Good to have you home, kid, but I gotta run now, get this one home."

He comes around to give me a hug which I return and then leaves, Quil trailing behind him.

"So, I'm just gonna go catch the end of the game. You kids have fun." Jake pats my head and then joins our dads in the living room.

"Peach?"

Paul's head snaps to mine, I smile at him and then get up and sit in his lap. His hands come up and hold my waist, "I- I'm glad you found me." I whisper and lean in to kiss his forehead. He's watching me carefully but when I do this, his eyes close and he swallows thickly.

"I want us together, Little Red."

I stare into his eyes, "So you're not worried about Jake?"

He shakes his head, "We talked after you went inside and he basically threatened me." I frown at this but he shrugs. "The guys just looking out for you, I can't argue much with that. Oh and no hard feelings over the…" he gestures to his face and I stare at him sadly.

"Sorry about that." I stroke the cheek that Jake punched and then kiss it.

"Wasn't your fault babe."

"If I hadn't been crying then you wouldn't have got hit."

"Hey," he croons, "It's done, over. I just wanna focus on us." I nod and then lean my head against his shoulder and link my arms around his neck.

"Babe?"

"Yeah, Peach?"

"You're not worried about Leah, are you?"

I frown and glance up at him, "No. I know that's over between you guys."

He nods, "Good. I'm sorry for today, babe."

I smile and lean in to kiss him chastely on the lips, he sighs against me, "Me too," I mumble.

"Can we make this work? 'Cause I really wanna."

I gaze into his eyes and nod.

He smiles, wide and beautiful, he takes my breath away, "Hey babe?"

"Hmm?"

"Will you be my girlfriend?"

My eyes widen but he continues staring at me, slowly I nod, "Uh huh."

He presses a loud wet kiss to my lips and I unfreeze and blush, ducking my head. "Love you Peach."

Charlie pops his head around the corner and then freezes and scowls, "Say goodbye to the boy, Bells we're leaving. You have school tomorrow."

I blush and nod and then groan when he leaves, "Ugh! I forgot about school."

Paul chuckles, "Yeah, back to reality, huh?"

"Back to reality, indeed."

**A/N: Review if you like :)**


	28. Scan

**A/N: Thank you for the usual, I feel like it's been forever since I updated so I thought I'd better get this out there. This is more of a filler chapter, next chapter MAJOR PLOT… DUN, DUN, DUUUNNN…**

**Not Beta'd, mistakes are mine.**

**Enjoy :)**

_24__th__ Jan_

Going back to reality was difficult.

The human world demanded my attention and opinion on such trivial things such as 'does my hair look good today?' or 'do you think I should ask him out?' both being from Lauren of course. She still wasn't entirely back in our friendship group, but lunch period she graced us with her presence since her 'friends' all had dance practice.

I yawn as I set down my lunch tray.

Paul had stayed the night. Not that Charlie knew anything about that. After saying our goodbyes he had left to get some sleep. Half way through the night I had become restless and I knew they were chasing Victoria. I stayed up until five am, fighting the urge to tap into the pack mind and feeling feelings that weren't mine.

Around six am, the panic had stopped and the disappointment had settled in. They hadn't caught her; I could sense it. My window had opened shortly after, brining in an exhausted looking Paul who had promptly collapsed on my bed after making sure I was curled up in his arms.

I had had the best sleep ever; just not enough hours of it.

Yawning once again, I pick up my burger and grin at Mike before taking a huge bite and groaning in pleasure. My lack of sleep meant I had woken up late and hadn't had enough time for breakfast.

"You okay there, Bella?" Mike asked sarcastically. I roll my eyes and nod, taking another big bite as he snickers.

"If I didn't know any better, I'd think that we have another mother-to-be on our hands." Lauren, of course, has decided to grace us with her presence. I glare at her, as do Ben and Angela. Jessica sits silently on my right, picking at her salad.

"Lauren?" I ask in a sickly sweet voice.

"Yes?" she sneers.

I clear my throat and fix her with a steely gaze, "Would you like me to slap you again like I did when you made the mistake of opening your skanky mouth and saying shit that was obviously less than favourable about me?! No?! Oh, well then, shut your mouth!" And with that I turn back to my burger. Mike almost chokes on his juice pouch as he snorts out laughter and Ben pats his back, chuckling himself. Jessica is now sat with her head held high, grinning at Angela.

Lauren 'harrumph's' and then rises from the table and stalks away just as Eric joins us, "What's up with her?" he asks, squirting ketchup all over his fries.

Mike and Ben chortle, "Why don't you ask Bella."

Eric eyes me, "Did you go all ninja-Bella and beat her up again?"

I roll my eyes, "I did not beat her up… I slapped her because she deserved it."

"Bella, honey, we are not judging you. We're… encouraging you." Eric says in a condescending voice and then pulls out his camera and snaps a shot of me, "Good one for the paper. Headline: _Lauren Mallory gets owned by Bella Swan. _You like?" I roll my eyes again as Mike claps him on the back and the girls giggle.

"Yeah that's not funny." I throw some of his own fries at him but he just dodges them and grins.

"So Bella?" Jess asks.

"Hmm?"

"Care to explain your little out-of-town trip this weekend?"

This time I almost choke on my burger, I gaze at her with wide eyes, "How do you know about that?! Jeez! Are there _any _secrets in this town?!" I then go ahead and roll my eyes at myself, of course there were secrets; I knew them all.

Angela rolls her eyes, "Come on Bella, nothing stays a secret in this town, tell us about it!"

I glance between both of them, the guys are silent. Jess sighs, "Fine! I went to the hospital to get some pre-natal pills and Leah was there. She asked if I had seen you because you hadn't been in touch for a while. I was worried. We exchanged numbers and then I left and when you got back in town, she texted me and told me you were fine and where you had been. Happy?"

"Since when did you and Leah get so close?"

"Aw, are you jealous?"

"No… I just didn't know that you knew each other…"

Jess shrugs, "We've met before. Anyway, stop trying to change the subject! I want to know, was a certain sex-god Paul present?"

I blush and the boys whoop, Ben shoots me a sympathetic glance after so I forgive him but glare at the other two.

"Jess, stop playing. Come on Bella, what happened? Tell us." I sigh and glance at Angela.

"We went to visit a family member of his."

Jess slaps my arm, "Omg! You're not a virgin anymore!" My face turns beet red and the whole table is silent.

"No! I mean, yes! I mean… Gah! Jess!" I whine and then slap her arm, "Just… can we talk about this later?" The boys are focusing on their food intently and Angela rolls her eyes.

"I can wait until later. Oh! That reminds me, I have my four month pre-natal scan, would you like to come with?"

I shrug, thankful for the attention to be off of me again, "Isn't your mom going with you?"

Jess rolls her eyes, "My mom may be supportive but she's still disappointed. She's working and I'm excited, I want you to be there!"

I nod, "Okay, fine." She squeals and I smile before stealing some more of Eric's fries, this time, I eat them.

Jess had gotten round to telling her mom that she was pregnant and it had gone better than either of us had expected. Of course, right after I had gotten a play-by-play by Jess herself. She had called me up straight after. Her mom was disappointed, but then again she had had Jess when she was sixteen and Jess' dad wasn't ever around. He was in the army and loved his 'job' more than his family; Jess rarely mentioned him.

As I take the last bite of my burger the bell rings signalling the end of our lunch break and the beginning of English class… uh!

~OE~

The rest of the day passes uneventfully. I pass Lauren in the halls once but return her glare with a force I didn't know I possessed. Lack of sleep and evil bitches really did not agree with me. How had I ever not ripped her head off before?

I had agreed to drive over to Jess' place after fixing something quick for Charlie to eat and then we would go to the scan together. Truthfully I was excited. The whole prospect of seeing a baby from foetus to birth and then throughout life thrilled me; I was looking forward to becoming a godmother.

Jess had even managed to bribe me into making her homemade pizza's after we left the hospital, claiming that we had much to discuss.

I place the plate of left over casserole in the microwave with crystal clear instructions on how to heat it up taped on the front. I then check everything and make my way to the truck.

Waiting for me in the passenger seat is none other than Jacob Black.

I smile at him as I step into the cab and when I'm seated he pulls me into his embrace, "Bells." He breaths against me, I can feel him place a kiss at my hairline. I kiss his shirt-clad shoulder and then look up at him.

"We didn't catch her last night." I say but it's not a question. I already know the answer.

He frowns and breaks away, pushing me until I'm seated in the driver's side and then buckles me in. I roll my eyes but let him, "No, we didn't. You didn't join us last night."

I shrug and start the truck, "I wanted too. But I would have only distracted you. I mean, it is fine when we're just messing with it in our own time but last night was important."

Jake nods and absentmindedly strokes my right hand. He then takes it in his and kisses it, "I could feel you there last night. You were close to tapping in weren't you?"

"Yeah, I had to force myself not to. Were you guys okay?"

He shakes his head, "We're good. It's just… frustrating. We know she's after you, protecting you was always a priority. But now, we're imprinted. And it makes us so much more crazy about catching her and so much more vulnerable. If she ever got to you…" he trails of closing his eyes and swallowing thickly. I feel the pangs of pain in my own chest as if they were my own.

"Hey…" I coo at him and then squeeze his hand. "I trust you guys implicitly. My Wolves. I love all of you and I know that you're gonna take care of me, of this situation, of the tribe. I have faith in you."

He squeezes my hand in return and then releases my hands and stares down at his lap. "It's so much scarier for me." The vulnerability in his voice cuts me. I turn onto Jess' street but park a few houses away from hers and kill the engine. I turn to Jake on the seat and prop my right leg between us.

"Why?"

His gaze flickers to mine, and then he heaves a massive sigh. "Sam let me call the shots last night." I raise a brow at him and he nods, "Yeah, I was in charge last night. It felt so _damn right, _it scared me. I didn't wanna relinquish control back to Sam after; I almost fought him for it."

"Jake…" I say quietly. He swallows thickly, his Adam's apple bobbing.

"I know Bells, I know." He shakes his head, "Something's gotta give here… I feel like I make better decisions on the whole anyway. We were closer to killing her last night than we've ever been before. Paul, I headed the run, we seem to want her death the most."

I crawl forward and then lean my head onto his shoulder. He in turn rests his cheek atop my head. His left arm comes over me and pulls me close to him, "She keeps evading us at the last minute. Usually she attacks, but last night it seems like she wanted to just check us out or something." He shudders, "I'm glad you stayed away."

Placing another kiss to his shoulder I look up at him, "When I heard my window I figured you were coming to see me, not Paul."

Jake scowls at that, "I wanted to. But I could feel you were calmer after Paul got there anyway." I blush and Jake rolls his eyes, "Yes, I slept under your window. I just had to be close to you."

We stare at each other and he sighs, "I know how creepy-stalker that sounds but I… needed that comfort last night." I frown and then cup his cheek in my left hand.

"Jake, all you had to do was come up. You know you're welcome. Paul wouldn't have minded. In fact, he passed out the minute his head hit the pillow."

He shrugs and cups his hand over mine, I feel peace settle over me as he closes his eyes and nuzzles my hand. "S'okay, I'm with you now and I feel better."

I smile at how child-like the big guy in front of me looks right now. I reach up and kiss his cheek, his eyes open and he grins down at me. "So, where are you going anyway?"

"My friend had a scan, Jess, she's four months pregnant." We break apart and he lifts his head in understanding.

"I'll leave you to it then." I frown.

"How are you gonna get home?"

He gestures behind me and I turn to look out the window finding nothing there but trees and then turn back to the seat only to find it's empty. I turn out to the window again and then jump. Jake is stood there grinning at me, "Sorry honey."

I mock glare and he ignores me, pointing over his shoulder towards the forest, "I'm gonna run, we'll talk later, kay?"

"Yeah." I nod and the lean my cheek out of the window. He kisses it and then turns and jogs into the forest. I turn the key again and pull up outside Jessica's house. As I kill the engine once more I marvel at how my sour mood from school seems to have evened out. The imprint was working wonders for my attitude.

I knock at the door, "It's open!" I hear Jess yell from inside. I turn the knob and sure enough it is open. I make my way down the hall and into the living room and then freeze.

"You alright, love?" Zohar rises from the recliner and holds out a hand as if to steady me.

I shake my head and then snap out of it, "Sure, yeah. I- mean… I just- what are you doing here?"

He shrugs, "Jess asked me if I wanted to come along today."

My eyes widen, "Okay…"

Zohar walks over to me and then kisses my forehead, "I'm gonna start the car, love. I'll let Jess explain."

He walks out leaving me standing there confused; did I miss something?

A few minutes later Jess enters, "'Sup B?"

I shake my head again in hopes to clear it and then hug her. I pull back and grasp her shoulders. "What is Zohar doing here?"

Her baby blue eyes brighten, "Oh! I asked him to come with."

I nod, "Yeah, I kinds figured, but what I mean is, why?"

She shrugs, "I've been lonely these past couple of months and he's been there for me." I wrinkle my nose in distaste and her eyes widen. "Oh! No! No, not like _that! _Jeez B!"

Jess pulls away from me and moves to slip on her purse, "We've been hanging out a lot. His older sister has a baby in England and it turns out he knows a lot of stuff about this." She gestures to her tiny bump. "We've become close, but Bella?"

I glance at her and she rolls her eyes, "I _know _he's gay. I haven't tried anything, even though he is hella sexy. I have priorities now." She points to her bump again and I glance down feeling guilty.

"I'm sorry Jess, I didn't mean to insinuate anything, it's just-"

"Don't be sorry B," she cuts me off, "I love to hear what's going on in that beautiful mind of yours. Even if it is utter bullshit. God knows you spent too many weeks caught up in silence after Douche-ward left." I gasp at her insult and snap my eyes to hers. We stare at each other for a moment and then bust into hysterics.

After we quieten down she fiddles with her keys, "People are already starting to think what you were too… and worse. Zohar's dad thinks the baby is his and offered me money to get an abortion."

I gasp and rush forward to hug my friend. "Why didn't you tell me? How careless of that… that… that bastard!"

Her eyes flash with pride, and she chuckles, "Don't worry B, I was gonna. But I also kicked the dude in the balls and I didn't wanna tell you in case you told your dad and I really don't wanna be arrested whilst pregnant." We giggle some more and then make our way out of the front door.

"You ready?" I ask as she locks up.

"Of course B, let's go see my baby!"

And with that, we head out to the car; where Zohar is waiting.

~OE~

We head into the room as the nurse holds the door open. Zohar takes my hand and pulls me next to him to sit whilst the nurse helps Jess onto the bed and then asks her to push up her shirt.

Zohar and I are sat to Jess' right, the nurse and machines are to her left. She squirts some of the gel onto Jess' stomach. I feel her flinch as she clasps my right hand tighter. Zohar is seated next to me, his arms around my waist and his chin resting on my shoulder.

The nurse flips on the machine and then uses her tool to spread the gel. Soon we can hear a glugging noise, "Ah. There it is, that right there is the heartbeat." I smile so wide my cheeks hurt. Jess is squeezing the hell out of my hand and Zohar is pressed against me; cheek to cheek.

A tiny shape forms on the monitor and then the room is completely silent.

Tears prick at the corner of my eyes. One glance to Jessica confirms that she is already in tears.

"That's your baby, Miss Stanley." The nurse whispers, sensing anything louder would ruin the moment. I squeeze her hand once more and she turns to look at me.

"That's my baby, Bella. That's my baby."

I bring my left hand up to swipe at my cheeks and nod, grinning like a fool at her, "I know."

Zohar wipes away the rest of my tears and then places a kiss at my temple; we all three turn back to the monitor, relishing in the tiny thump, thump, thump of the baby's heart.

~OE~

The nurse asks to speak to Jess alone so Zohar and I make our way into the waiting room. We sit in silence and I carefully fold my new scan photo into a square and then into my pocket.

I sigh contentedly, how innocent life seemed at this stage. Carefully cradled and protected within its mother. I turn to Zohar, "Are you not afraid you'll miss out on all of this?"

He shrugs, "I can't help who I fall in love with. And there are ways of determining I have a child of my own someday." He nods in Jess' direction. She's talking to the nurse by the door. "Like this, experiencing it this way or implantation of a close friend." He shrugs again.

"Is that why you're here?" I ask gently, so as to not sound accusing.

He grins at me, "In my mind, if I were straight, you'd be mine." I blush and he runs a hand through my hair and then cups my right cheek. "That girl is your best friend. I know that you're busy with those heavenly men in La Push but that you also want her taken care of, so I'll be here."

I frown, "But shouldn't you be off doing things _you _want to do?"

Zohar shrugs, "The things I want in life are looked down upon as wrong. I have plenty of time for myself. Right now, I'm enjoying being selfless and taking care of the now two most important girls in my life." He finishes with a wink and then lands a kiss on my forehead.

"So don't sweat it. I don't want any arguments or accusations. I'm doing this for the both of you, being here for the both of you. And that's, that."

I don't argue with him. It's so nice to have a normal friend whose only motive was to look out for you.

Jess joins us and we walk towards the exit. We pass the receptionist's desk at which Leah is sat at. She's twirling the phone cord around her finger and swinging from side to side in her chair. I motion for the others to go ahead and then walk up to the desk.

"Pretending to take calls again, Leah?"

She stops spinning and then glances from side to side. When she sees no one is watching us she groans loudly as if in pain, "Uh! You have no idea! This job sucks!"

I chuckle and then sigh, "Why don't you come over to my place after you finish. I'll have some home-made pizza waiting for you."

Leah smiles and then jumps up to hug me, "I don't know why I never told you this before but, gosh woman! I really do love you."

"I love you too." I say and then turn to walk out, "Oh! And pick up some chocolate on the way!"

She nods and I turn before making my way out.

~OE~

In the car I had run over everything I would need for the pizzas. Jess tells me she's out of a few things so we make a plan to stop by the supermarket and pick them up. The three of us are floating on happiness, practically giddy from experiencing the scan.

We pull into the parking lot and head inside. Zohar carries the small hand basket since we don't need much. I pick up some ready-grated cheese and some fresh tomatoes for the sauce and then we round the corner. As we head down the home baking aisle for some flour a voice calls out, "Bella!"

The three of us turn to find Paul at the end of the aisle. My eyes widen as I take him in. He's wearing a shirt and shorts and shoes. He stalks forward with purpose, I feel Jess and Zohar behind me. The rest of the people in the aisle seem frozen too; watching with fascination.

He reaches me, standing not even a foot away. My heart pounds and I can feel his body heat from where I'm stood. He towers over me, feet apart, hands balled into fists at his sides and chest heaving. My own breathes quicken in pace as he gazes down at me.

His eyes bore into mine, telling me everything he is feeling in this moment, one emotion stands out the most; longing. I'm sure it's mirrored in my eyes too.

I swallow thickly, aware that people are staring, "I missed you today." He rasps out, his husky voice sounding out of breath. His eyes darken a shade and then dart down to my lips and then back to my eyes. His tongue pokes out between his lips to wet his bottom one. I inhale sharply.

"I missed you today, too." Whoa! That sexy, husky whisper does not sound like my voice. But as Paul smoulders me, I know that it did indeed come from me.

He steps closer, closing the distance between us. His shirt-clad chest brushes mine and I shiver.

"Paul?"

"Hmm?" He cocks his head, baiting me.

"Paul?"

"Yeah?" he breaths.

He's slowly inching his way towards me and then, he grabs my face in both his hands and kisses me soundly. I groan and bring my hands up to his shoulders completely oblivious to our audience. I can faintly hear the gasps beyond the sweet smacking sounds of our lips. He tilts my head for better access and then swipes his tongue along my bottom lip.

I moan quietly and open up for him, grasping his shoulders tighter and pulling him closer to me. As quick as he pulled me into him, he releases me and pulls back. He's breathing heavily but nothing can take away the massive shit-eating grin he's wearing.

He licks his lips whilst I stand there, frozen, aroused and completely embarrassed.

Paul leans forward and lands a kiss on my nose. He then stands to his full height and stares down at me.

"That. Is. All." And with that he turns and saunters down the aisle and out of the store, leaving me standing there gaping after him along with most of the people in the store.

**Review if you Like :)**

**And be sure to read (and review!) my other**** stories, **_**Fight for Your Heart**_** and **_**Indecent Proposal.**_


	29. Co-operating

**A/N: Thank you for your Reviews/Alerts, they mean the world to me. **

**I truly apologise for being sooo late, I understand if you guys hate me now… *sobs* As I've explained in the AN of my other stories, I had 2 weddings to attend and I've also gotten a new job recently which requires six weeks training so I'm in the middle of that…**

**Anyway, this chapter is in third person's POV, it CAN NOT be in Bella's… it'll be obvious why. And I don't feel like writing in the POV of an evil vampire with revenge on her mind… ooh spoiler alert…**

… **ENJOY! :)**

_27__th__ Jan_

She ran through the trees, her blonde hair whipping behind her.

It was all her fault. Everything that was happening was entirely her fault. She had let him go. She had tolerated him having a close female friend. She had tolerated him doing favours for said female friend. He had pulled her in with his promises of love and his dimpled smile and she had trusted him. And now he had gone and gotten himself killed.

When she allowed herself to feel it was only pain. Pain and agony. She feared that was all she'd be able to feel for the rest of her existence. That and anger.

So she clung to the anger. A tiny smile graces her lips as she runs, towards Forks. Towards the bitch who started this all in the first place.

She wondered what she was doing right now… eating, reading, sleeping, fucking? The list was endless. She snorts to herself. Knowing the girl though she probably wasn't fucking. She always looked too much of a… good girl.

And that was okay with her, because with her partner gone, she wasn't getting any either.

She stops by a stream, the debris flutter around her. She could hear the thumping of a heart a few miles away but decided against it, she didn't want to ruin her dress before the chase. She bends at the waist carefully and cups a hand full of water and drinks it. She has no idea why she does it, maybe she's baiting them. She knows they are waiting for her.

Carlisle had showed her where the boundary line was.

She closes her eyes and smiles to herself. She can their heavy feet padding at an impossible pace; a supernatural pace.

Her eyes flicker open and there they are. Almost a mile away, it's too close. She has a moment of panic before she realises that _she _is equally supernatural. She turns on her heel and sprints, going faster than she ever had before.

Irina knew she was in for a long night, the mutts could run for a long time. But they had beating hearts and they would eventually get tired.

She smirks as she flutters through the forest.

~OE~

Four hours.

That's how long they had lasted. And then they had turned around and ran back to their cheapo tribe.

She giggled. A foreign sound these days as she loped back that way too. She'd stop off at the other side of Alaska. No need to accidently bump into her _family. _Her nose wrinkles at the thought.

Irina runs a little more, her mood sour now her mind is laced of the memories from the day her own family had abandoned her. They couldn't understand her love for Laurent. They had always criticised her. They were probably glad he was dead and that she was gone. She always had been the 'black sheep' of the family.

Completely consumed by her thoughts Irina doesn't notice someone watching her. The other female closes in slightly. In an almost feline manner. She rounds Irina until she is running straight for her. Irina notices her too late and they are about to clash.

Then the red head pounces.

She leaps into the air and twists around and then lands on the blondes back. They crash to the ground. Irina feels the weight fall on her, crushing her and she falls flat on her face. Her moment of being surprised passes and then she moves. She flips her body, sending the other vampire crashing into a tree. They are both on their feet in seconds.

They pause for a moment and Irina studies the red head. She looks almost child-like but like a woman too. Maybe it was the scary-cute dimple in her chin, or the way her ringlets fell around her face in an innocent manner. Irina couldn't explain it but it didn't even matter. The bitch was as good as dead.

Irina lunges again at the same time as the red head and they grasp each-other's throats. They hiss at each other. It dies fast as Irina notices the determination in her opponent's eyes. Shit! This was gonna be a fight to death.

"Irina…" a baby like voice coos. She freezes.

_How did this bitch know her name?!_

"Ah yes! Irina. I know you sweetie. Laurent would never stop talking about you."

Irina frowns and then swallows. They release each other and take a step back from one another. The red head is clapping her hands together and giggling to herself. Irina wants to rip her fucking head off.

The red heads bloody eyes snap to hers and then she tilts her head and cackles, "Ooh!" she squeals and then skips in a circle and comes to stand in front of Irina once more. Then she seems to remember something, "Oh, I'm Victoria by the way." She moves forward, her gait almost drunk and then she bounces on the spot.

"Irina…" she whines, "Say something baby."

Irina frowns, this vampire was seriously off her rocker. "How do you know Laurent?" it's the thing that is niggling her the most, she has to know.

_Victoria _stops bouncing and smiles brightly at Irina, "We used to move around together."

The light bulb goes off in Irina's head… this was Laurent's friend.

"Ooh, ooh, ooh…" Victoria coos once again. "I know, baby, I know. I know they killed him. And it's alright."

Irina frowns, "No it is not alright. It never will be."

Victoria nods in sympathy but to Irina it seems almost mocking. And then she remembers something else. She stalks back two steps and then glares at this Victoria. "Wait. Laurent said you weren't happy with him. He betrayed you. He told the Cullen's about yours and James' plans with Bella."

The red head whips her head around, a fierce glare contorting her otherwise innocent face, "Yes it is true that he betrayed us, but I let him live once I found him. I let him live on one condition, that he go and check on the Swan girl and bring me news on her."

Irina backs up against a tree, she can't be sure but something about the way Victoria was looking at her was making her want to run. A sudden smirk graces her features, "But he didn't keep that promise, did he Irina?"

Victoria stalks forward and Irina panics, she feels stuck. She shakes her head, her eyes blinking wildly. The feline vampire before her looks utterly deadly, Irina knows she is caught, she can't escape; she can't do anything. "He was killed, the wolves. The wolves killed him. It wasn't his fault." Irina notices in the back of mind that she is almost begging for her life somehow. Like the human boy she killed only yesterday.

Her opponent moves in, her sweet breath tinged with the scent of even sweeter blood caresses Irina's face, "But you can help me fulfil that, can't you?"

"I- I don't know what you are talking about."

Victoria chuckles, "Oh you sweet, naïve girl," she cackles again with her head tips back and then she faces Irina and leans in close. Irina can no longer see her as Victoria has her head buried in the crook of her neck. She feels the red heads lips at her ear.

"I know how it feels to lose your mate, baby. I lost James. I think that you'll be even more useful to me than Laurent ever was, especially now that he is dead."

Victoria pulls back, a wicked gleam in her eyes and Irina frowns but doesn't dare move.

"You want revenge don't you?"

Irina hesitates telling this stranger her feelings but then decides to just go ahead. This girl was a friend of Laurent's and even when he had betrayed her, she had let him live. "Yes, yes I do."

The red head beams widely, baring her sharp teeth, "Excellent!"

Her face darkens then. Irina watches carefully but keeps her hands behind her back. Her nails scrape at the bark slightly. "So do I, but you see it's more difficult for me. I want the Swan girl dead but she has these wolf guards. It seems they are impossible to get through. And you want _them _dead…"

Irina seems to understand what the red head is going on about.

Victoria nods, "Yes. Now you're getting it. You want the wolves gone, I can help you with that. And then I'll have easy access to Bella Swan. And I'll also get to help avenge my friend Laurent."

Irina considers the offer. She didn't really have a choice, the red head would kill her if she refused, she could sense that much. And she really did want to avenge her lover. If the wolves died that would bring her peace. But if the Swan girl died too, well that would just be the icing on the cake.

She focuses on Victoria again, the red head is watching her intently. With a knowing look on her face. Irina clears her throat and squares her shoulders. She pushes off of the tree and smiles sweetly at Victoria, "You have my word, I'll help you. And accept your help in return."

Victoria claps her hands and then moves forward to embrace Irina, she returns her hug and then they step back and grin at each other.

"We are going to be victorious, baby." Victoria vows to Irina and then in what can only be described as excitement, she dart forward and places a searing kiss to Irina's lips.

**A/N: Review if you like :)**


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